In this candid YouTube discussion, host Karamo mediates a conversation between CJ and his partner Kena about the challenges of raising their young child while balancing demanding work schedules. CJ feels his extensive efforts—long work shifts and nighttime baby care—go unnoticed and argues he contributes significantly to household duties. Kena, who has recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), expresses feeling overwhelmed and struggles to communicate her emotional needs, highlighting the added strain of chronic illness on family life. Karamo outlines a detailed daily schedule of baby‑feeding, chores, and work hours, exposing a perceived mismatch in how each partner views their contributions. The dialogue reveals deep emotional tension, communication gaps, and the broader issue of gendered expectations in parenting, especially when health complications arise.
Chapters
Nice to meet you, Karamo. All right, so I'm gonna get right into it.
Do you recognize that Kenya needs help?
I think that the stuff that I do, it goes unnoticed a lot. I think that I do way more than anybody else that I know in this position would do.
I don't think so.
What do you try to help her with? For my day job, I'm working 10-hour shifts. So for me, I get home, the first thing I wanna do is relax a little bit, maybe unwind. And I just say forget that 'cause I know I have a kid.
Kena, you're crying. What's going on right now? What are you experiencing?
I just feel like it's a lot. It's hard to like get him to understand or like even come up with the words to tell him how I feel.
It's kind of hard to me just hearing all of this and then knowing that, just knowing the work that I put in and just—
So give me the to-do list that you said the work that you put in because you're saying like, oh, she's saying I don't do enough. You're saying I do do enough. So this is what your lady is doing. 12:00 AM, feed the baby. 4:00 AM, feed the baby. 6:00 AM, feed the baby. 9:00 AM, feed the baby and play. 9:30, wake up CJ up for work. So she even has you on her list. 10:00 AM to 8:00 PM, baby duties and chores. 8:00 PM, feed the baby. 8:30, play with the baby until CJ gets home. 10:30, make dinner for the baby. This is from what you said. 9:30 AM, you wake up for work. 10:00 AM, work starts usually late. 7:00 PM, work ends. 8:30, shower after work. 9 to 10, take over baby duties. So from your, this is yours, this is what you said. You only said from 9 to 10 you taking over baby duties.
No, from 9 to 10, I'm trying to give her a nap and give her rest. But that doesn't mean at 10 o'clock I'm saying, oh no, my daddy duty shifts is over, let me go do my business. Like, no. Is that what happens at 10 o'clock?
He still continues on?
It's different, different days. But those other days he is, like he's helping.
I gotta just be real with y'all. You have a young mother here who, first of all, just found out that she's diagnosed with MS. There comes with complications, problems with that. And what I know to be true is that when women have babies, they have to mature and get into a new state of mind that men, we just don't understand.
