Karamo talks to 17-year-old Sylvia and her father after she turned off her location and left home to escape his strict rules about grades, her phone, and the school band. Her father imposed restrictions whenever her grades dropped. Sylvia felt pressured by his academic expectations and wanted to prove she could succeed on her own.
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What do you miss most about Sylvia living with you?
We hung out, we did things, we had drums set up in the living room. I mean, going on road trips and doing mountain hikes and things like that. That's what I miss the most.
What would it mean to you to have your daughter come home?
It would mean the world to me, but at the same time, what's more important is that she's focused and working hard to make sure she has success she's gonna need to be sustainable.
All right, maybe there's something you'll learn today. Please everyone, welcome Sylvia to the show. Okay, Sylvia, I wanna know, when did you move outta your house? To your father's house and why?
Uh, it was at the start of the summer. There's always this kind of looming thing throughout the entirety of the school year where if I didn't perform to a certain level, a lot of my, um, not really rights, but I guess privileges would be stripped. I think it was kind of filled with anxiety. Um, so I got into my car, turned off all my locational services, and drove to a friend's house.
But why do you have to turn off your location services?
Because there's this kind of anxiety that he would find me.
That your father would find you?
Yeah, I didn't want to come back until I was ready.
So let me get this straight, 'cause I wanna clear this story. So you're in school, you're not performing the way you're supposed to. Yes. So Dad would've said you can't be in the band and do all these things.
Can't do the band.
Because you didn't make the grades or you didn't do the thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't really perceive it as fair.
What were the restrictions he put on you exactly?
There were a handful of things.
So he was taking away your phone?
Yeah, phone. Okay. Most like electronic devices. But the one that were really big for me is that he would restrict my social time. I wouldn't be able to have use of my car, things like that.
Do you feel like your father's being honest about the way he feels about you?
I would say he's at least mostly honest.
What do you think about that? She thinks that you're only mostly honest about what you're feeling.
Well, I'm absolutely honest about how I'm feeling, but I understand her perspective on things for sure.
Got it. Are you afraid to fail your father?
Oh yeah, through the entirety of my life, that's been kind of a back-lying anxiety that I've had. And that's the reason that I left, just because I wanted to prove to him that I can do this by myself.
Do you think you're just rebelling? You're 17 years old. I'm listening to everything you're saying and you're like, I didn't do well in school, so my dad took away my phone. He's gonna take away my car. He's gonna take away my band. I'm wondering, was that just rebellious behavior?
I feel like this is more of a basis of, I feel like I needed to, I had something that I needed to prove to him.
