Is He A Stranger Or My Father? | KARAMO

I took this DNA test because it was what Lavon wanted. Here's the backstory. I only had a 1 or 2 night stand with Lavon's mother, and we dated maybe twice. And 2 years later, she introduced me to my child. I was furious. So I was very angry for a while. She originally told another man that Lavon was his child. She was in a relationship with this man But then 2 years later, she comes to me and tells me that Lavon is my child. For the record, I never denied Lavon. She'd always had full access to me, email, phone, social media as well. I was not allowed access to Lavon, even though the doors were always open for her, and did not get the reciprocation of what I gave. It's been about 15 or so years since the last time I spoke with her. She raised her 2 middle fingers to me. It was disturbing for me. It still hurts me now because that picture is in my mind as if it happened 2 minutes ago. It really bothered me. It's getting to me right now. After that, I released everything but my heart to her. I would accept her effort, but for me to reach out to her, that to me was the end.

Why do you have doubts that Ryan is your father?

When I was younger, my grandmother raised me. She showed me this picture of this man and, you know, I kind of see myself more in that man than I see in, you know, Ryan. I don't look like him. I was— my mom, she would tell me that he gave her a hard time because of, you know, how I look. I don't look like his other kids. I don't have any of their physical features or anything. So, you know, I feel like I've been on this healing journey for maybe internally for like the the last year or two and I feel like this is me getting over like the last step in my journey. Good job. Thank you.

I'm glad you're taking the step. So did you and Ryan have a relationship at all when you were a child?

No, he, not that I can remember. He just wasn't there. He wasn't there physically very much. He wasn't there emotionally. He just was not present at all. And not enough for me like, 'cause I'm a mom and you know, just, Just being a parent, you know, sometimes it's just not enough. And I don't feel like it was enough as a child, as an adult, like ever.

So when did you fall out of touch with him?

Maybe when I graduated high school, I went through like, you know, this, I did it without you phase or whatever. And then I think that was the last I actually like really spoke to him. And then shortly after I joined the military. And then after about 2 years I had spoke to him again and then he's like, you know, what are you doing with your life? And I was like, well, I'm in the military. He just was kind of like, why couldn't you pick something else? And I'm just like, you know, it was kind of like, you know, an ill type thing. And I just thought it was— Thank you.

We're proud of you for what you do. We appreciate your service.

Thank you. And I just was like, just because it wasn't what you— I don't even know what you wanted me to do, but just because it wasn't something that's ideal to you, you're just like, you just shunned it.

Yeah, you disregarded what you do. Will you try to work things out with him if he is your father?

Probably not.

Probably not?

Probably not.

Why do you say that?

Just because I know what kind of person he is. I don't feel like it's genuine.

Listen everyone, I wanna hear from your potential father, so let's welcome Ryan to the show.

I don't talk over people and I don't allow people to talk over me. Good for you.

Okay, so. I'm not talking over you. I'm very calm, collected.

Okay.

You don't even deserve that, but I'll give it to you.

Then why am I here?

I don't know. 'Cause I don't know. I don't know if you're my dad or not, but we gonna find out today.

Okay, so the email specifically stated, "I don't want you in my life. I don't want you in my daughter's life." And what she doesn't know is that I didn't know she was my child until she was 2 years old first. That's first.

Okay.

So every time I traveled for my job, every time I touched down in New Orleans, her house was the first house that I went to to pick her up. Whatever time I had, it was gonna be with her. 3 years down the line, I'm in her grandfather's house going to pick her up.

Yeah.

3 years down the line, this man tells me, "Stay away from my daughter." 3 weeks later, I'm traveling back to New Orleans for more business, go to her mom's house and her grandmother's in the house upstairs and I hear, "What is he doing here? Why is he here?" Okay? So whatever they've told you—

I was a child, I don't know what you're talking about.

Exactly, you were a child.

So from your point of view, it sounds as if you're saying that her mother's side of the family—

Mother.

Granddaughter, mother, grandmother, and grandfather made you feel as if that this wasn't your child?

Yeah. None of my other daughters disrespect me like this.

Were you in your other children's lives?

Yeah.

Okay.

And any one of them can tell you that she got no different when we were connecting. Okay.

I still needed you. I still needed you.

Did you express that you needed me or did you express that you don't?

I shouldn't have to tell you that I need you. You're my dad.

I can't read your mind.

You're my dad.

What do you think?

I know that my daughter needs me just as much as she needs me now. And then when she's 30, She's 26. The fact that you're blaming this on me, you're blaming this on my mom, like, how is it our fault? Take some damn accountability, go to therapy, go do whatever you need to do. But to keep saying, "I tried," when are you gonna realize you trying is not good enough? I don't know where you live, you don't know where I live. Like, how am I supposed to reach out to you if I don't know where you are?

Do you have access to your sisters?

No, I should be asking you, have access to my sisters?

See, here's the problem.

You have access to my sisters.

Here's the problem.

You know, you know that I talk to Brianne almost every, if not every week. You could get my number from her, but you did not. When did it cross your mind to say, you know what, I'm gonna get this number from Brienne so I can contact my daughter?

Are you done?

Go ahead, tell me when you did it.

Here's the problem.

My God.

So if we're talking about accountability, I am your father. You are my daughter.

Okay, then I don't owe you shit. I don't owe you nothing.

There you go.

You should be there for me. Like, what part are you missing? Are you missing it? Is it going over your head? I don't have to do shit. I don't owe you shit. You brought me into this world. You take care of me. I brought my child into this world. I take care of her. Like, what are you missing?

You have another daughter that you brought here today.

What's her name? Her name's Brianne.

Brianne. Okay then. Listen, everyone, Brianne is here today. This is your oldest daughter and I wanna meet her and get her side of this story. So everyone, please bring up Brianne.

Move over, Daddy.

Hi, Brianne. I can see that you're emotional.

Yes.

What's making you emotional?

This is just really sad to watch, I guess. Because I can hear equal pain, honestly. Like I hear my sister say, "I just wish you would've been there." And I hear my dad say, I would say that he tried, but I guess like he's hurt by whatever could be or shouldn't be or would be if she is his, it's not. And although he's never denied her, I do think that, you know, the onus is never on the kid. You know, I've told my dad this, I've told him over and over again, you don't get to stop trying.

And did you ever decide to take a DNA test? Test yourself? Did you?

Did you take a DNA test before or ever think about doing it?

Yes or no?

We did, 99.999%.

From what you're saying, you didn't know about this, that you've confirmed that this is your daughter.

Yeah.

And that makes you even more wrong.

And you didn't— But wait, I mean, at the end of the day, you asked me a question, I'm gonna go back to your question.

You asked me before you came out here and I asked her if she wanted a relationship and she said, "Probably not." And then knowing that you've known since I was 2 and if the results are the same, why would I want a relationship with you? 'Cause you've known.

So, Shen, when she says that to me, the thing that I hear is someone who's been rejected their entire life doesn't wanna get rejected again on this stage. So before she gets rejected, she's gonna make sure that she's gonna like protect herself from you.

I'm good with that. That's where she is.

I know.

I am not going to make her, I'm not going to—

Just apologize. Like that's literally it.

But that's all you have to do. When someone's trying to protect themselves from them, all you have to do is ensure them that you can trust me, that I will be there, that I will love you. That's what she's screaming out for.

That's hitting me. I have to go over the images, the hurt, the words.

As much as I want, I gotta tell you this before we can go any further. I think it's time that we saw this 30-year DNA outcome. This is what's most important right now before we can get to anything else. You said you had facts. You need the clear answers now because you are a child, if this is or not your father. So I think this is your moment for you to open this to find out if Ryan is your father or not.

Before I open this, I'm just gonna let you know that this is not gonna change how I feel about it. But I did this for myself.

No, I know. I'm okay with that.

And for you to know all these years and then for you to just not try, that makes you a terrible person. Like, you're a terrible person. You're not a good dad because how are you gonna know this all your life and then just not acknowledge me or my existence? It's like I owe you something and I don't owe you anything. That's fair. So I'm gonna open this.

You should.

Bryan is Lavon's biological father.

You are my sister. I mean, I knew you were my sister.

You're a very supportive sister.

Thank you.

I think all of us here can see that Yes, you probably had some pain that you experienced having older adults tell you like, you're not wanted, you're not around, this is not your child. But for you to confirm that this is your child and for you to still not fight for her or to be there for her and to treat her differently makes you 100% wrong. It does, it does. She brought you here because somewhere in her heart, somewhere in her heart she does want a relationship. Somewhere in her heart she does want that. And because of the fact that you have not been able to acknowledge your actions and just give her, she said on this stage, can you just apologize? And you haven't been able to give her that. Why?

Well, as I mentioned—

You can literally just say you're sorry. Like you can just say you're sorry.

Okay. As I mentioned, there is a lot of demonstration of pain for me.

Oh my God. Can you please—

I can't not acknowledge what this situation has done to me as well.

Okay. There's a stubbornness in you right now and a pride that you gotta let go. I'm gonna let you know right now because if you don't let go of it, it's going to, the relationship is already ruined. But what's happening is with time, this could be mended. But right now, you dying on this hill is not helping you.

Do you believe that it could be mended?

The first thing that I said when this producer asked me what was the first thing I would do when I see her, was I said I wanted to hug my daughter.

I know, but that won't be received well.

Right.

But can you see why it won't be received well?

Clearly.

Yeah.

So Lavon. Okay. Let me apologize to you for these pains that I have caused you. Yeah. And for me, I would love for us to have a dialogue. So I'm apologizing now.

I know, and before you finish that sentence, I'm apologizing now.

Okay.

Let me tell you something, you're a great mother. Let me tell you something, you are a great mediator. Everything you have said and done is exactly how I would handle it. You are exceptional, and I'm sorry that you have to be in between this, but I'm also happy that you have a sister that is hearing you and acknowledging this. You have your answers and you know, but what is sad for me is that he's always known. And I think that's the problem for you. You've done an exceptional job through that pain, still finding a life and a family of your own. So I wanna applaud that because that is a strength in you that you have and I think it needs to be acknowledged that, wow, you did it and you did it very well and I'm proud of you. But I also know that there is a little girl in there that needs you. She needs her dad and she wants her acknowledged.

I'm here for her.

I would change that statement to an action statement and say, I will be there for you on Tuesday by calling you and I will make sure every Tuesday I call you. I will make sure that I am there on your birthday and I will be there on every birthday. Because blanket statements about, "I'll be there for you," are not going to do anything for her. But action steps will help to build this relationship. Number 3, if he's able to show you action steps, would you be open to having a relationship with him?

Yes.

Yes, I would.

Are you sure?

I said it. I don't want to hug you, please. I don't want to hug you.

It's her boundary. When she gets it. The thing that I think is great for you to take away from here is that the fact that she just said that she is willing, that is the biggest thing. She said she's willing. Now if you're willing too to do those action steps, you know you have a willing daughter. But her rejection and her pain is deep, so it's gonna take time. So I wish you the best of luck and I wish you the best of luck and I'm glad you got answers, okay? I'm really happy for you. I'm really happy.

I knew you were messing with me.

And I wish you the best of luck. I really do. I really do wish you the best of luck. Can't get enough of Karamo? Then subscribe to our YouTube page right here and check your local listings to watch on your TV.