Is He My Dad Or A Mooch? | KARAMO

So why did you call the show?

Number one, I need to know, deserve to know who my biological father is. Yeah. I had gotten two gifts from a coworker of mine about a year ago, an ancestry test and a 23andMe test that I took, sent the kits off, got my results back a few weeks later. And since then I've been getting just a bunch of relatives that they're connecting me to that I do not know. I do not recognize at all.

Got it.

At all.

So when the results came back and you saw these relatives, did that like throw off some red flags for you?

For me, for sure. Absolutely. I just didn't understand it. I know they for sure was not on my mother's side. So I'm like, where is this coming from?

You're like, who are these people coming from?

Yeah, exactly.

Was your father a big part of your life growing up?

He raised me majority of my life. Me and my mother doesn't have the best relationship. She wasn't there majorly, but my dad raised me. He made sure we had food, clothes, water.

So when did he move in with you and why?

He moved with me about 3, it's going on 4 years actually. It's going on 4 years. He called me up one day and asked if he could come stay one week. He said he wanted to take a one-week break from his marriage at the time. And he just wanted, you know, just to crash at my place to let things cool down. He came, well, first of all, I said that's okay as long as it's one week or, you know, 2 weeks max. He came and has not left since. He tried to return home about a week and a half after being with me and he couldn't for other reasons and he's been stuck with me since.

You are a good daughter. 4 years. I mean, 4 years. And I say that because obviously like, you know, we're gonna always do for our parents.

Yes.

But you're at a young age, 27. This is where you should be dating and exploring the world and figuring things out. And to have your father there is interesting, like can be a burden.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Absolutely.

So what did you, did you expect him to stay that long ever?

Like— Absolutely not. I never would've imagined it would've been this long. Had I known, it would've been a no out the gate. Absolutely.

So what other issues do you have with him living there?

He's just completely disrespecting my house. He does things like smoke cigarettes in the house. He does dipping tobacco. He'll constantly leave that on the kitchen counters, on my carpet.

That right there alone, I dated somebody who did that dipping stuff. Oh. And them bottles was everywhere. I promise you. And I kicked one of them bottles one time on my rug and I about lost it.

Yes.

—when it was— I can imagine what you're thinking. It's tough.

It's very— it takes a toll on my mental health. Yeah, I can imagine.

We have a video of it. I want to see this video.

Yes. Burn hole in my kid's teddy bear. Yet another burn hole in a pillow. So yeah, so— And there's much more than that. There's so many things around my house that's been damaged that I just have to take it as a loss.

Yeah. I have to take it as a loss. Have you confronted him about these things? Several times. The cigarette burns?

More than I can count. He just completely disregards what I say. He doesn't respect any of my rules. He even just drains, like financially, he does not contribute to the house. No groceries, no household supplies, no helping with bills. It's just—

Do you think he's addicted to anything?

Drugs? He has a substance abuse issue that I've come to realize over the past several weeks. It's been a couple months actually that I realized. And me, I'm a detox nurse myself, so. So you recognize this? I really started, yeah, cueing in on the withdrawal symptoms and yeah.

And how is this affecting your kids? 'Cause I just saw the teddy bear, so that has to be breaking you.

They like having him around, but I don't think they realize the depth of the situation just because he's, I'm basically making him look good. I'm not talking mess to my kids about him despite him doing such. There's been times, there was one time I left to work, accidentally forgot something, ran back in the house and I heard him on the back porch just popping off, popping off, popping off. And I'm thinking he's on the phone with a friend, but then I looked around and I said, where's my son? He was talking mess to my son in my house about me.

And how old is your son? 10. And you took a DNA test to find out if he is your biological father. I did. And we have those results later in the show. Okay. So I know you said earlier that you're taking care of everything, so does he help out with any bills or have you had him pay rent?

Nope, I've asked, I've requested rent from him several times, but he just won't, he just refuses. He refuses to pay. And you paid him rent? Oh yes, when I used to, okay, so about a year before he moved with me, I hit a little down spot and I needed to go stay with him and his ex for a few months. And charged me $800 of rent. I had a list of rules that I had to abide by, Stan, and of course, and I'm, as a grown woman, I am going to respect your house. I'm gonna make sure I pay where I lay. You know, and so I made sure I took care of that, but he's not giving me the same respect. Yeah. So what do you want to happen today? He needs to get his act together. He needs to take accountability and we need to establish some boundaries or I would just rather sever the relationship pretty much.

I wanna first meet the man who raised you, Anthony, and get his side of the story. So Anthony, come on out please. Hey Anthony, how you doing?

What? How you gonna tell all these stories? Some of this stuff was true. But some of this stuff, Sasha, was not.

What is it a lie?

What's a lie? Like when you stayed with me? I charged you rent?

You didn't charge me rent.

I didn't charge you rent. You know I didn't charge you rent. So who charged me rent? Who charged you rent, Sasha? Who you charging rent?

You're gonna say your ex. Your ex, right? Okay, you know. You stood behind her tall 10 toes. Hold on, hold on, Sasha, hold on, hold on. You don't do that.

You told them, you told them.

Mind you.

Hold on, hold on, you told them. That you only stayed with us for 7 months. It was 7 months. No, it's not. It was years, Sasha. Remember, you had your boyfriends living with us. You, you know, you want me to name 3 or 4 different boyfriends living in my house?

Different times. That was before that last time I stayed with you.

Till you got to this place now.

Exactly. You took my financial aid check. You want your financial aid before you moved out? And those 2 checks we got—

I paid $800 for you to get back in school.

If I got financial aid, tell me how silly this sound. If I got financial aid, what money did you have to pay for? My course was paid for.

Okay, then who paid for the course then?

Let me see this.

You really just making stuff up.

What it sounds like before, because I don't have any of those logistics to be able to see those facts. But what I am hearing, the core issue underneath that is that you feel as if you supported her throughout this time and you feel as if now she's saying that she never got any support. Support. Exactly. I heard it.

I'm not saying I don't feel like I never got any support. I just feel like at the end of the day, if it did not benefit you, you didn't— you, you had no interest.

And you made sure you benefited off me every single time.

What benefited did it do me to take care of y'all when you— when you—

I don't want to talk about anything. I don't want to talk about anything.

I didn't have a personal relationship for what, 5 or 6 years?

When I was a child, you did what you What are you supposed to do? You raised your kid. I didn't ask you to be— Where's the mother? Where's the mother?

Where's the mother?

Where's the mother? We're not talking about her.

Is this usually how you two communicate with each other?

Yes, all the time.

That's why I called you, 'cause it's always all the time. I got it. I'm sick of it. 'Cause he's not hearing me.

What is it that you're most upset about?

I'm most upset at how he's treating me when I'm helping him. I've extended my help, I've let you come here, and stayed here for way longer than a parent I've ever stayed with.

He's not respecting me and he's just not trying, not for himself and not for his kids. I don't understand.

Sasha, you already know.

You are the reason your life is the way it is.

You always talk, but you don't ever listen.

Anthony, I gotta ask you, is the anger between you two, from your point of view, triggered by her requesting this genetic test?

No, that was, no, no, it had nothing to do with that because regardless of what that test say, I'm still a father, I raised her. I raised her no matter what.

And I don't take that from him.

I don't. She know this. She know this.

I don't take that from him, but that still doesn't—

All my kids. That does not mean that I can't be upset with how you've been behaving for the past few years.

Did you ever question if she was possibly your daughter?

No, no, not really. When I was raising her, no. Okay. Later on, I still, I heard things, but I, I didn't think. So you were there?

Yeah. So you wanna be her father? Yeah, of course. Of course. And your mother wasn't in your life? No. Why was that? She had her own issues?

Yes, that's just, not substance abuse, just living her life pretty much. Okay, I get it. Just living her life, yeah.

I get it, you wanna keep that private. So what you actually came here for was to confirm if this is your father or not. And before I could even figure out how to help you all through this and to see if there's even something, we need to know if this is your dad or not. So I think we need to get to these answers first to then figure out how you then move forward. So you have been waiting 27 years to know if this is your biological father. Well, it's time to answer and find this out. So this is your truth to open, not mine.

I honestly don't think these results will change change how I feel about you as my dad. I don't wanna take nothing from me, from you that, you know, you did for me growing up, 'cause I'm not taking that from you. I'm just upset with your past few years of behavior. And I don't feel like I'm being heard. I hear that.

I hear that.

Yeah, you're not my biological father. I mean, I don't know even why I'm tearing up 'cause it don't shock me. It never did, it don't shock me, which is sad, but it's just seeing it like confirming it, it's crazy.

What do you have to say?

You all right? Yeah, I'm all right, but it don't change nothing. You said it doesn't shock you.

Why does it not shock you? Just the family history, even with my other siblings and my mom, it just does not shock me at all.

Yeah.

It does not shock me at all.

It's interesting when real life happens and things happen like this, how the energy changes because you realize what's bigger and what's more important. At the end of the day, As I said this before, and I'm so sorry that you've gotten this, it sounds like both of you have said this relationship, you'll still try to be in each other's lives. But I do—

'Cause it doesn't erase my 27 years I've been here.

It does, I get it. Yeah, I guess that, I get that. What's going through your mind over there?

I don't know, just, I don't know. I'm sorry, I didn't know honestly. I can go by just what her mother said and I was, married to her, but it doesn't change nothing 'cause I told you I'm still gonna love her the same. It ain't gonna change anything.

[APPLAUSE] There's a breakdown in communication that y'all gotta start back with. If you wanna start fresh, that's what it's gonna take. But it's also gonna start you taking and being more honest about what you're actually feeling in the moment that's actually deeper than what you're actually saying. Y'all's thing is bigger than Bigger. It's not about him smoking in the house. Yes, it is. But it goes deeper. It goes deeper. I will tell you a big part of this is the thing that you're trying to avoid the most, which I respect why, but whatever is going on with your mother is the first place that has to be dealt with. Yes. And until you get there, we're never, and I want everyone to know that we did reach out to your mom and asked her to come on the show and she refused. Confused.

Yes, she didn't want nothing to do with it, so. Yeah. So much for supporting your daughter.

Yeah, but the healing you need is really not with this man. It's not. And you know that in your heart of hearts. Yeah, you know. It's with her because that's where this started. So I hope that she's giving you that so that we can get you the healing you need. And I hope that you two can hear each other a little bit more. You hear me? You should give her a hug. This is a big moment.

I love you. I love you too.

I'm sorry for this outcome. I'm sorry for this outcome. But hopefully you got a little advice and I'm gonna be here for you if you need it, okay?

Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

I wish y'all the best of luck, okay? Want more unlocked phones, DNA reveals, and family drama? Then make sure you're subscribed to the Karamo Show YouTube.