Is He My Man or Everyone's Man? | KARAMO

Why do you think your best friend is hooking up with your man?

They just became too close. Ever since I got my big girl job, they've been outside, they've been at the bar hanging around. They text, they call. It's just stuff they didn't do when we all hung out.

Oh, they didn't do this. So this is not behavior that exhibited before. This is brand new. So from your point of view, you got your big girl job and then they started doing all this.

Yeah, they made, I can't come, I'm getting money.

I'm getting money. So when did the suspicion start?

It started in the summertime.

In the summertime. So you've had this suspicion for a long time.

Mm-hmm.

Got it. Okay then. And how long have you been together with your boyfriend?

5 years and we're engaged. We got engaged 3 years and been together for 5.

Okay, so you are engaged to this man.

Yeah.

So this is another layer because this is your future husband that you're assuming your best friend is messing with.

Yes.

So how's your relationship with him?

On and off.

On and off?

On and off. He's a cheater. He been cheating.

Oh, so he has a history of cheating?

Yeah.

How many times?

I can't even count on my hand.

Oh, okay then. You were supposed to get married and then what happened?

I called it off.

Okay, and why did you call it off? 'Cause the cheating?

Yeah, 'cause the cheating. He barely be coming home. People calling my phone, girls texting and stuff. I find stuff on Facebook. I don't do social media. So it's like when I find out stuff on social media, I feel like, You know I don't got no social media, so you know what's going on, right?

Got it, 5 years of this. And how long have you known your best friend?

Since we were young.

So what age?

Like 8, 9, we went to the same school with each other.

8, 9.

We had went on what they call it, 2 men, we went on dates.

So this is like a 20-year relationship? Yeah. Okay then, got it.

We had our kids around the same time, we planned to get pregnant, our kids is a month apart.

Oh wow.

We did a lot of planning. We lived with each other before.

And have you ever been suspicious about her hooking up with one of your boyfriends in the past? No. No, never? Okay then. And how has this affected your friendship?

I don't talk to her as much. I put a minimize on talking to both of them so I know what's going on.

Got it. Okay, let's meet Shayla and hear her side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Shayla to the show.

She ain't my best friend no more. You ain't my best friend no more. You don't be talking about me like I really wanna be with your man. Nobody wanna be with your man. Yeah, please.

You don't even want him. You don't even want him. You don't even want him. What we gonna share the same man? Listen, we already wearing the same shit.

Let me ask you point blank, have you been hooking up with her boyfriend?

Absolutely not.

Not at all?

Would you call yourself a good Samaritan?

Absolutely. I think you're a good Samaritan too, but you seen her, you lose points when you mess with him, you know that.

I mean, what are you talking about? You're becoming his friend too.

Why does she think that you are having an affair?

Because we hang out with each other when she's not around.

Stay the night, he stays the night. For what? You don't got no man.

He don't have a car to go home. What do you mean?

It don't matter. He got there to the bar.

So how do you feel about her accusing you?

She got me messed up, to be honest. I'm really hurt, to be honest, because it's like, how dare you? You had friends still. We have mutual friends. We didn't have friends that didn't hit Jaywant. Let's be real. And you still their friend to this day. So why just me?

Oh, you've had other friends that have stepped up to the work? Absolutely.

Take that man down.

Yes, I do have friends that have took Jaywant down. But—

And you're still their friend in that part?

We're still best friends, right?

Okay, okay. Are you close to her boyfriend?

I would say that. I would consider him a friend.

Okay.

Like we didn't, we're just cool in my book.

Yeah, just cool in your book. Did he spend the night at your house?

A few times.

He did spend the night at your house? Well girl, that sounds suspicious. Yeah, you know that sounds suspicious. Tell me about it.

I know it's crazy, but like not if I'm your best friend, you know what I mean?

Like— No.

They were my friends too.

It still sounds suspicious.

They were my friends too.

Let me tell you something, I got a best friend, best friend Trey, he over there and let me tell you something, if my man ever spend the night at your house, you getting cussed out.

Yeah, and that's fine, and that's understandable.

So, 'cause it sounds suspicious.

Yeah.

Why would he spend the night?

Especially with his history.

Because like, we like, like, he gets down with the drinking and so do I. I ain't better than nobody. I'm a heavy drinker.

They're Aquarius, they're Aquarius.

Okay, so y'all both like to drink?

We both like to drink. I love to drink.

Okay, got it. And how often do you talk to him?

Only when we're drinking.

Only when you're drinking? Okay. And when did she start accusing you?

She said that it was the summertime, but it was actually, I was out of school working, so it was around, Like May, April, around there.

Summer around there, that's when you think the accusations start. Have you had issues like this in your friendship in the past?

Yes.

You have? Mm-hmm. Okay, what has happened?

I just peeped like anytime we would hang out, like if we were too like talking to each other too much, she would just like get an attitude.

Got it.

And this is like before.

Got it. Yeah. Do you think her boyfriend is good to her? No.

Sometimes?

No.

No, not at all. Okay then.

I don't tell nobody who to love though.

Yeah, you don't tell nobody who to love. Okay, I understand that. Interesting. Okay. Oh, we're getting a ping, y'all. It's Ty's boyfriend, Jaymont, who wasn't able to attend the show, but he had something to say. Let's take a look.

And these accusations are false. For the record, I have never ever slept with Shayla. I never looked at her that way. I never thought about it. And when the nights that I slept over Shayla's house, I was drunk, fully clothed, sleep on the couch. Nothing happened. No hanky-panky, no wham-bam, thank you ma'am. I keep my shit in my jeans. I made a commitment. If this continues to happen, I want Tad to know she gonna lose me with these insecurities. Baby, I love you. It's not us. It's not true. Like, just let's get on with our life and our love and stop acting crazy. Please stop acting crazy. Stop tripping, boo.

Okay, so why couldn't J-Moc come to the show today?

He, um, he on probation.

He's on probation. Okay.

Yeah.

Ty, do you believe him?

Uh, he says the same thing every time. He says I'm crazy. I find stuff out and I'm crazy. I'm delusional. I'm I'm crazy.

Got it. Interesting. Well, we're here to find out if Shayla actually is doing something with him. Ty, what are you gonna do if we find out that they actually are? She ain't gonna say nothing.

She ain't gonna say nothing.

What's going on? Well, she said that you allowed other friends to do it, but this friend would get cut off?

They are cut off. They say hi, bye, conversate, type, why she be mad? Oh, hey, okay, yeah.

She talks to them. She just was on FaceTime with one of 'em.

Okay, Ty, why do you allow your friends and your boyfriend to treat you like this?

I don't know, maybe I'm just too nice or something. Like, I ain't got no mom, no dad, so it's just like, I'm just trying to be loved. I had tough love growing up, so it's like, it hurt me. I'm trying to love, I'm trying to find love, and I blame my dad, and I tell him this all the time, because if I had the right guidance, I wouldn't be going through this. I would be okay. My mom died, so it's like, the person that I did love, She passed away. I don't got no guidance on how to love, how to become a woman, or none of that. Like, and I actually love my best friend. This is the person that lifts me up. This is the person who's supposed to be here for me. Like, so it's like certain stuff that I seen. I seen y'all in the bar. I seen y'all. Chyna, I didn't see you in the bar.

I'm always in the bar with him though.

They're in the bar like this, like close, like real close. She in the front, one fall back, that's a wrap. They were close. They were close.

Shayla, have you ever told Ty to break up with him?

All the time.

You tell him all the time? Okay, what does she say when you tell her to?

She tells me to stay out her business.

Got it. And then what does she mean when you say you give her his flowers?

They're both great people and I think they both are looking for love and they both do love each other. So like I see it, like I can recognize that. Like, okay, they really like each other, they really love each other. But you know, when somebody, actions speak louder than words.

What's great about him? I wanna know.

I don't know. It's just like she said, she don't really have nobody.

Yeah, but I'm asking what's great about him?

He really loves her. He does to me.

So what's great about him?

Nothing.

Okay.

Yeah, he just, anybody that loves her, I love them. I'll put it that way.

Yeah. Got it. Okay. But we don't have any concrete things that are great about him. Mm-mm. Okay.

Useless.

Yeah. Okay. Well, listen, it's time to unlock the phone and find out this. Shayla, we unlocked your phone.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Ty, you wanna know if Shayla has been texting her boyfriend, Jaymont. Shayla says she is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found that Shayla is not telling the truth. My investigator—

Exactly, exactly.

Hold on. My investigator found deleted text messages between the two of them from one month ago. But it sounds like it's just to meet up to go to the bar. Okay. Ty, you wanna know if Shayla has been calling her boyfriend, Jaymont. Shayla says she has not. My locked-up phone investigator searched her calls and found that Shayla is not telling the truth. My investigator found 6 FaceTime calls between Shayla and Jaymont from 2 different dates. One was about 42 minutes. What were you all talking about on that one?

I'm not sure.

Okay. Okay.

I'm gonna say we could just, we just like drink, talk.

She don't remember.

Okay.

That's crazy.

Ty, you wanna know if Shayla has any other communication with Jaymont? Shayla says she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her phone and found that Shayla is telling the truth. But my investigator found a conversation between Ty and Shayla from a week ago about Jaymont being in bed with another woman named.

Absolutely. She's an old friend, not somebody.

Okay. Yeah. So first of all, you don't need to be concerned if she's sleeping with your man because you let everybody else sleep with your man. Okay? Second point, hold on before we clap. Second point, he's not your man. He's everybody's man. Okay? Third point, you have to start to heal. And it broke my heart hearing you say what you dealt with with your family. Losing your mother and having your father. I understand how children of abandonment start to reach out and search for love. And they search for love because they're hoping that I can find security if someone loves me. It means no one will go away. And so you hold onto things that are unhealthy hoping that it can maybe fulfill that hole. But the only thing that's gonna fill that hole is you being alone and taking time with yourself to fall in love with yourself. And I know that is the scariest thing for you to do. Yeah. When you're young and you lose a parent, you then are scared that if you lose anyone else, that that hole will get bigger.

Yeah.

But that, you gotta start to heal that hole. Do you think your mother would want this?

No.

What else would she have said? Hear her voice.

Leave. Ain't no point in staying.

Keep telling me her voice.

You deserve better. It's not worth it. I never seen my mom go through that, so it's like, why would I stay for that?

So listen, this is what I want you to understand, that when you're searching for love, you still have your mother's love in you. You gotta remember it. Hear her voice. And when you hear her voice, that's your reminder that you are loved. She loved you and would not want you to be going through this. Yeah. You hear me?

Yes.

Now over here to you, best friend, because this is the thing, I don't think you're doing anything with this man.

I'm not.

I know, I don't believe it at all. We didn't find nothing that whatever. And I believe those calls are just y'all drunk and being friends. But what I will say is that it does send a mixed signal when you allow your addiction, and that's what it is, to confuse the relationship. Because sometimes, and this is the point of a best friend, is that when I'm not clear enough and when I'm not strong enough, you gotta be clearer for me. Me and my best friend have been best friends for almost 30 years. And when he's not clear, I'm like, hey, I'm clear, get it together. And when I'm not clear, "Hey, get it together." But see, right now you're letting it be a little hazy. I know you wanna have a drink. I know you wanna have your fun, but there is a million other people to do it with. He's not your friend. And unfortunately, by you allowing yourself to have any type of relationship with him, what happens then is that unfortunately your friend who is hurting, and I know you've been there for her, She sees that as, well, if she's holding on, I guess I should keep holding on. She just said you're the strong one. And I'm not saying you need to be strong the entire relationship because you get to be vulnerable, you get to do all the things that you need to do. But if you are modeling that and saying like, no, it could be hazy. I just asked you a couple times what was good about him and you said it was her look, the way that he love her. And now we established he don't love her. So what else is good about him?

Nothing.

Nothing. So if ain't nothing else good about him, you need to cut it off.

Yeah.

And then now you have more of a ground to stand on when you tell her that she need to cut it off. But when you over there hanging out, you ain't got that much ground to stand on when you tell her to cut it off.

No, 'cause he's really like, we'll keep the drinking going. We'll drink till like 7 in the morning.

So like. So not only is he a bad friend to her, but he also loves keeping you trapped in your addiction.

Yeah.

Look how this man is just trying to infiltrate y'all. She told you that? Yeah, she told me that. So look how this man is just trying to infiltrate y'all's lives. He is trying to bring y'all down one step at a time. He's an op.

He's an op.

He's an op.

Yeah, he do stuff. He does stuff for a reason.

I like that she said he's an op.

And it's just like, I don't have social media, so it's like certain stuff I see is just like, all right now, come on now. Just like what I text her that I seen a picture of him with an old friend. She was just my friend. We was just talking.

So this is what I need y'all to do as best friends, all right? I need you to turn to your best friend and say, best friend.

Best friend.

I need you to hear your mother's voice.

I need you to hear your mom's voice.

Get outta this relationship.

And get out this relationship.

And I need you to turn to your best friend and say, best friend.

Best friend.

I need you to be my support.

I need you to be my support.

And I need you to get out this relationship with my ex.

I need you to get out the relationship with J'Moan.

Okay.

Because right now y'all have to be able to remind each other what each other's needs. That's what a best friend is.

Yeah. Our kids are best friends too.

I believe it. I believe it. So let this man not drag y'all both down. You remind her to listen to her mama's voice and you remind her, no, get out of this because he's hurting you too.

Yeah, he is.

He's hurting you too. Mm-hmm.

I'm not proud of my drinking.

You feel me? Mm-hmm. Can y'all actually mend this?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely.

Y'all can? What do you need to say to each other?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too for hanging out with him.

Please, please, please, please take my advice, okay? You are a beautiful young woman. You can find somebody and you break it off too, okay? Good luck, all right? All right, friends, stay with us 'cause we'll be right back. Give me a hug.