Is My Girlfriend Still Texting Her Ex After 6 Years? | KARAMO

I went to your website to write in because I really need your help. Me and my boyfriend Jesse have been together for 6 years and he still thinks I'm in love with my ex. I admit I have been secretive about talking to my ex in the past, but I came clean and he still holds it over my head. When he gets upset, he calls me a gold digger and constantly compares our relationship to my ex. I wanna show Jesse that he's the only guy for me. And if he proves he isn't revenge cheating because he thinks I'm doing stuff behind his back, I'll have the tattoo with my ex's name removed. Please help and thanks for listening, Sarah.

Listen, we're unlocking phones to get to the truth. So we'll talk to Sarah shortly, but let's start with Jesse. So everyone, welcome Jesse to the show. So how long have you two been together?

We've been together about 6 years.

6 years? Okay. So since high school?

Yeah.

Okay, since you were like 17?

Yeah.

Wow, okay then. And you think that she's talking to her ex from 6 years ago?

Yes.

Why?

It's been a whole bunch of incidents, situations that just indicates she's still talking to her ex.

Like what?

Like pretty much calls, Texts and just not being truthful.

Mm. Yeah. Okay. My producer say she said he was crazy.

And he is most definitely crazy.

This her ex?

Yeah.

Her ex is crazy?

Yes.

Uh-huh. Did she receive a car from her ex?

Yes, she did.

How long in the relationship were y'all together when she got a car from him?

I wanna say about 6, 7 months in.

Have you seen her talk to him since the two of you been together?

Through text, yes. He calls a lot.

So does this same ex write about you on social media?

I'm not sure. I know that she's written about me on social media and he's replied to that.

So that means he writing about you on social media. If he's replying, then he's writing.

Yeah.

Okay, and how does that make you feel when he does that?

Makes me feel terrible. Like, I have your back, but you don't have mine.

You know what I mean? What is he writing? When he's writing or replying, what is he writing? What's his comments?

You know, I'm with her while you're at work. You know, she wants to be with me. You know, stuff like that.

Does she like these comments or what does she do?

I'm not sure. I completely just disattach myself from it to keep my peace, so to say.

So you're, in your opinion, why are you here?

I'm here to pretty much just get my feelings understood. And move forward. You know, the past is the past. That's why I'm here.

Well, y'all can be on locked phones. If she is doing something with this ex, are you leaving her?

Yeah.

You are leaving her?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. 'Cause Jesse, you want to know if Sarah was communicating with her ex, oh, if Sarah responds when her ex contacts her, and if Sarah is talking to other guys. Those are your concerns right now?

Yes.

Okay then. Well, let's meet Sarah and hear her side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Sarah to the show. Hi Sarah. Hi. How you doing?

Well.

This yellow looks beautiful on you.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Sarah, so you wrote to the show to prove you are not cheating.

Yeah.

Why?

Because it's really like putting a big strain on our relationship. The card thing, Yes, I did get a car from my ex, but I do feel like that was owed to me. So let him drive my car. He starts trashing it, trashing it, denting, breaking windows, this, that, until one final big incident where my car just completely got destroyed. So—

And you like, for all that you put me through and you put my car through, you owe me another one.

Yes. My car experience.

Can I interrupt you for a second? Why couldn't you accept the new car from me?

You right, you right.

Well listen, I think it's time to unlock the phone. Sarah, we unlocked your phone. All right, here we go. All right, Jesse, you want to know if Sarah was communicating with her ex-o. She says, She is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her phone and found that she is not telling the truth. We found 4,547 total interactions with him. That's a lot of interactions. So you're still in communication with him?

I mean, on a cordial level. It's nothing romantic, nothing crazy.

Girl, what is this stuff?

What could you describe?

Y'all play too much on this stage. What is cordial about 4,547 interactions? That's a little bit more than cordial, okay?

I mean, I see it like this. Giving him a response, a small text message like, "Okay, hey, how you doing? I'm fine," and stuff like that, that keeps him away from showing up to my house or posting up outside my car.

You know what else would do that?

My car door.

You know what else would do that?

I restrain and order.

Restrain and order, okay.

Okay.

Jesse, you also wanna know if Sarah responds when her ex contacts her. Sarah says that she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found that she is not telling the truth. We found 2,035 texts from her and O. The most recent was a phone call 3 days ago. She called him and the call lasted 2 minutes and 18 seconds. So y'all are still even Talking on the phone.

Not really. I don't even remember that.

Girl, what in the world?

I don't even remember that.

Why did you call him? 'Cause it's not him calling you, you called him.

I don't remember that conversation.

This is 3 days ago, you called him.

I can't even tell you why I called him, I don't.

His mom is even calling you. What's his mom calling you for?

You talk to his mama still?

I mean, just being nice. Like, I don't have a, like me and all of my exes, I should be able to, like we should have ended the relationship in a place to where I can still say, hey, how are you? Hey, how you doing? Just checking in. It doesn't have to be anything romantic.

So I'm gonna say this to you. I'm gonna say this to you in all sincerity. You are correct. You can have a relationship with your ex if the way it ended was healthy. And you have clear boundaries. But clearly this is not healthy and you don't have those boundaries. The fact that he is antagonizing your current relationship, destroying your property, means that there is not a healthy boundary or a healthy relationship between you all. So the fact that you're still engaging, that is, what y'all kids say, sus, mad sus? Yeah. It's sus, right? Okay. That's the only time y'all ever hear me try to be young, by the way. I will never try to be young ever again, okay? I just wanna let y'all know that. All right, Jesse, you want to know if Sarah's talking to other guys. She says she is not. My unlock the phone investigators searched her apps and found that she is not telling the truth. We found 744 messages on Tinder communicating with 73 different guys as recently as yesterday. And one of the messages said, "I love you." And that was on July 16th, 2024. Who that?

Nobody serious.

Girl, you don't say I love you to Rafi. May I have the evidence back? How you say I love you to somebody and say it's not serious?

I mean, it's small talk.

Who this? You know who that is?

Okay. Okay.

You know who that is? Okay.

Okay.

Who this?

Okay.

You know who that is?

But that's after we had a situation. That's after. That's after. That's after the whole Snapchat thing.

Yeah, 'cause you doing stuff like this.

I wanna kiss your ass. I'm trying to tell you.

That's after. That's after.

I love you too, but you be tripping just a little. You're not innocent.

You're not innocent. That's after.

I love you too, but you be tripping a little. That's after. You too, babe. I love you too. Don't be surprised you come outside one morning and I'm there waiting for you.

And that didn't happen.

But is this your ex?

No.

Who's this? This W, who W?

Just some random guy.

Got the whole alphabet in there, don't you?

He said he got the whole alphabet in there. He said he got the whole alphabet in there. Okay, this one says, I love you, I'm trying to, lovely, it's Sunday, I know about, would you let me, I love you, sexy ass. Okay. Girl, you got a lot going on, girl. So what's your explanation for all this?

We had a situation. I went through his phone. I went through his phone and I seen some pictures that I did not like. I seen some messages that I did not like and you know about that.

Who are the messages from? Well, let's find out 'cause Jesse, we unlocked your phone. Okay, we unlocked your phone, Jesse. All right, here we go. Well, this is interesting. Jesse, you refused to unlock your phone.

Yeah, exactly.

Yes, I did.

Exactly.

Why did you refuse to unlock your phone?

Because I was hoping that, you know, you guys would unlock her phone and there was nothing. And I just wanted a healthy start to a, you know, relationship.

Well, you can't give a healthy start if you don't unlock yours.

He's full of secrets. He's not innocent. He's full of secrets.

Oh, I'm aware of that now. I'm aware. Because at the end of the day, the reason I unlock phones is for complete transparency.

Transparency.

If you really wanna come here for my advice, yes, it's entertainment, it's fun for us, but it's to help you say, here's transparency, we're laying it all out here. This is what's going on, this is what I'm doing, what I'm not doing. So when you say I'm refusing to unlock it, then all you're doing is letting her know that the things that she did find in the past must still be going on. You're still hiding it.

Yeah.

It's not, I'm just fed up with the, you know, going through my phone when I'm sleeping and all that.

And I go through your phone, I always find something. There's always something there.

Same.

You're trying to come for me for what I'm doing, after I see you doing something on your phone. And I made everything rock.

I can't tell when you're not always being completely truthful with me. You don't tell me anything.

You're not truthful either. You don't even wanna unlock your phone. You're not truthful. You wanna be upset about what you see in my phone, but that's coming off of what you do. You make me feel like so weird inside. Can I see those pictures one more time? No.

You can see those, but at this point, like I don't even wanna show those to you, really be honest with you, Jessica. Why you don't wanna unlock your phone? You didn't unlock yours. The thing is that it's so easy to paint her as a villain right now, but at the end of the day, we don't have any proof to say, well, you know what, Jesse, you're not doing anything. And so a little bit that's manipulative, and I'm gonna be real. We have to call an action an action because what you've done here is you've said, I'm gonna put you on front street. I'm gonna show you, I'm gonna make you show everything about you. I'm gonna have the world judge your actions, But then I'm gonna sit back and pretend like I'm okay. And that's manipulative. I'm gonna tell y'all, this was young love gone bad. And y'all do know that, right? 6 years, you got into something, you had some unfinished business that triggered you and that hurt you. And then after you got into this relationship, I think from my personal opinion, it got unhealthy and it got codependent very quickly. Which one of y'all says, I'm not gonna leave unless the other one leaves me? Which one? Is it you?

I didn't say that, you know, but I don't plan on leaving her.

Unless she leaves you.

I just want you to be real.

I'm like, I know one of y'all is saying it, which one? Well, I never said it, but I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm not leaving her unless she leaves me. Okay then. So there we go with the unhealthy pattern we have.

I don't know where to go with you. I don't know if this is a real relationship. Or is you just with me for what? Like you—

Tell him you don't want him.

It's not that, I do want him.

No, tell him you need to go find yourself and find your own hope because he just did—

I tried to tell him that.

Tell him right now, tell him right now, tell him right now, tell him right now, tell him right now.

I don't want him.

'Cause neither of you are being honest with each other and that's what I'm trying to have happen right now.

Because we need to get like—

Y'all need to break up is what y'all need to do.

I don't wanna break up.

No, let me hear, hear me out. Hear me out. I'm telling y'all, you're both beautiful young people who have an opportunity right now. And I hope when you watch back this show, you hear the words that are coming out my mouth. I don't think either of you are bad. I think both of you are young and have not healed. And I think that if you can understand that in these type of situations, you have the power to let go, to figure out what you need and not be in this cycle of dysfunction, then you can come back together later on. But right now, if you stay in this, you're only gonna continue to damage each other. And there is more growth for both of you. This is not healthy. This is going to get worse. I can literally write out the pattern of the next 4 years for you all. 'Cause what you're doing is textbook. What I'm trying to help you though is to shut that textbook and stop it before you end up down a path that you don't need to be down, okay?

Okay.

So I wish you both the best of luck. Please figure out why you don't wanna let go. And if you can figure that question out, that's gonna be the first step in you starting to heal and moving forward, okay?