Is My Man Living A Double Life? | KARAMO
In this episode of the Karamo show, host Karamo mediates a tense relationship between Brittany and Demetrius, who have been together for three and a half years and share two children (ages 9 and 11). Brittany suspects Demetrius of leading a double life because he repeatedly disappears for days after arguments, sleeps on the couch, and she discovers a sex video on his phone. Karamo conducts a live "Unlock the Phone" forensic investigation, revealing that Demetrius has been in contact with two ex‑girlfriends (103 messages) and possesses a recent sex video from June, confirming infidelity despite his denials. Brittany’s own phone is cleared of any secret communications. The confrontation escalates as Demetrius admits to cheating with a "baby mama" and lying about the video’s age. Karamo explores the couple’s deeper issues, including Brittany’s abusive father, Demetrius’s abandonment fears, and the impact of their conflict on their children. He offers therapeutic advice: counseling for both, a break from the relationship, no more children for now, and personal healing before rebuilding trust. The episode ends with both parties agreeing to seek help and Karamo wishing them well.
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So tell me, why do you feel like Demetrius is living a double life?
Because it makes no sense. Every time we argue over the littlest thing, you don't disappear for 3, 4, or 5 days in a row. You don't do that.
Yeah, that's a long time. I can understand needing to take a second to go walk away.
Of course.
Take my breath, cool off. But 3 to 5 days.
You're doing something else.
Yeah, what, he at the post office?
That's what I'm saying. What mail you delivering? I ain't get none.
Okay. How long have y'all been together?
3 and a half years.
3 and a half years, okay. Has his behavior been like this since the beginning?
He would get mad and stay gone, like you said, cool off and come back, but it wasn't like this at all.
Tell me about the last time that Demetrius left the house during a fight.
The last time we got into it, we got into a little disagreement. His friend picked him up, I say around 9:00. He said, "I'll be back about 10:30. Let me cool off." Okay, no problem, I get it. But when 12:00, 1:00 hit, then I'm starting, my gut's telling me it's something else. So 1:45 hit and he's always blaming it and going to his, he's going to his brother's house and he lives directly down the street. So I take out and I walk, so I'm telling him not to drive, to walk, just to catch if I catch him coming out or getting dropped off. I sat over there in that apartment complex for 3 hours, it's going on 3:00 AM. There was no movement, no nothing. Then we share a Facebook Messenger. So I'm looking, checking the messages and he's sending out messages to his brother and friends, talking about he need a ride. But—
If you thought I was supposed to be there, why are you out?
And then you got my number, what's going on?
Yeah. How often do you two have fights? 'Cause it sound like y'all have a lot of disagreements.
A lot now, a lot. A couple times a week over the smallest things now. It's not making sense.
Like what?
You can't find your wallet and then you get mad at me and I'm trying to help you look for it. I'm gone, I can't do this. You pack up clothes and you leave again for 3 or 4 days over a wallet. It's like you're picking the argument to disappear.
Mm. Listen, you said it, picking an argument to disappear. Have you ever spoken to his brother about this?
Yes, like when he says, "Oh, I was at my brother's." You don't even have your ducks in a row. Why don't he even know? He's clueless. He don't even know. Like at least if you gonna lie, you let somebody know you gonna use 'em.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you gonna do that.
It's not making sense.
So have you ever cheated on Demetrius?
No, not one time.
Never? Okay then. And where does Demetrius sleep now?
In the living room. He resides on the couch. Like he's made my living room his personal domain.
And how long y'all been together?
3 and a half years.
Not the deodorant and the juice.
He's got everything.
Okay. So when the kids come downstairs, they see him on the couch?
Yes.
Do they understand what's going on?
No.
They don't understand.
They don't understand.
They just think that maybe he fell asleep in the car.
Yeah, 'cause when he disappears is when they like, "Mom, where is he at?" And I have to lie and come up with stuff.
Got it. How old are your kids?
9 and I have an 11-year-old.
9 and 11. What was your relationship like with your father?
Abusive.
Okay, okay. Thank you for sharing. Okay. Why are you fighting for this relationship?
'Cause I genuinely love Demetrius. Like there's nothing that I don't love about him. I just don't understand why is he doing this?
Got it.
Like we were good. Like I don't do any, I work, go home, I do everything you ask me to do. What is the issue? You won't talk to me.
Oh yeah, got it. Okay, well we're unlocking his phone today. So, and you told my Unlock the Phone investigators that you want to know very specific things. First, is Demetrius going to his ex's house? Is he having inappropriate contact with his exes? And then thirdly, does he have any videos of other women on his phone?
Right.
Okay then. Well, have you ever gone through Demetrius' phone?
Yes.
And what have you found so far?
I found a video.
Okay, and what happened?
He was having sexual contact with another woman.
And what did he say?
He said that video was old, it's just been in there, it was in his memories. But I knew he was lying because On the phone, on his type of phone, the date is encrypted when that video was recorded. But he's arguing me down saying it's old. And I know, in my gut I know.
Got it. And so, but he maintains that that was an old video before y'all met?
He will argue me down and will leave about it.
Got it. Well everyone, I think it's time to meet Demetrius and hear his side of the story. So everyone please welcome Demetrius to the show.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Welcome, Demetrius.
How you doing?
Hey, how you doing? Good, good, good.
So how do you feel about what was just said?
Lies.
All lies?
I ain't gonna say everything, but most of it lies. Like, you, no.
So then let's start with the beginning. Why do you keep leaving the house?
Please.
For extended periods of time.
She's argumentative. You can't communicate with her. She always wanna argue. Then when you try to talk to her and try to tell her what's right, You're lying.
Every time I try to ask you something, you come up with something and you leave.
I don't come up with—
You started.
How you doing now? You yell, you yell, you don't know how to talk to a person. So why do I have to take this?
How do I approach you?
I don't have a right to leave the house to calm down?
How do I— You don't come back. That's my word.
I did that once or twice.
No, you did not.
You lied.
The whole time we've been together, you said I stay gone 3 or 4, 5.
You sit there and you lie.
Lie?
Okay, we finna see, listen.
Yeah, you need to.
Are you really going to your brother's house?
Yes, that's my only brother I got up there. I don't got, where we stay, I don't have no family.
Your brother don't even live in your hometown at the time.
That's your hometown. I don't want you to be feeling some type of way.
You run every time we have a conflict.
Run where?
Where do I run?
We are grown enough to sit down and talk. Who knows?
I'm not finna sit down and yell and message you.
This is why I'm here.
I'm not having no yelling messages.
This is why I'm here.
I can't walk, so if I stay there and argue with you, and we get into it and I get in, we get fighting or something. I'm gonna get in trouble. They ain't gonna look at you.
You the woman. And you still blow up and you leave. Where are you going?
To my brother.
No, you're not. No, you're not.
Do you feel like you're giving Brittany a reason for suspicion?
I don't do nothing. I'm in the house 24/7.
No, you're not. When we get into it, you're gone for days. I don't know what you're doing.
One or twice outta this whole 3-year relationship.
Are you crazy?
So where am I? You are in denial.
You are in denial. You need help. Help? Yes.
We both, you need some help.
No, I don't.
You need some help. You look, I'm not finished.
Glad y'all on the Karamo Show.
No, you need some help.
Oh man.
You need some help. Not me.
All right, well listen, you told my Unlock the Phone investigators that you wanna know, is Brittany still talking to her ex-best friend? You also wanna know if Brittany's still talking to any of her exes and is Brittany using any secret social media accounts to communicate with other men? That's what your concerns are. Well, listen everyone, I think it's time to unlock the phone.
I'm ready.
Brittany, we're gonna start with you.
Okay.
Brittany, we unlocked your phone.
Okay.
All right, are you ready for this?
I'm ready.
Great. All right, Demetrius, you want to know if Brittany has been communicating with an ex-best friend. Brittany says she is not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched her texts and found that Brittany is telling the truth. There is no communication with that friend on her phone. Demetrius, you want to know if Brittany has been communicating with an ex. Brittany says she is not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched her DMs and found that Brittany is telling the truth. There is no DMs with another man on any of her phones.
Thank you. Clarification. No, thank you.
Okay. Demetrius, you want to know if Brittany has been using secret social media accounts to communicate with other men. Brittany says she has not. My Unlock the Phone investigators searched her apps and we go for apps that are even deleted because sometimes people think that if they can delete an app, we can't find it. Oh, we can. And we found that Brittany is telling the truth.
Thank you, Karamo.
Yeah, 2 social media accounts.
Please, thank you.
But we didn't find any inappropriate messages.
Oh my gosh. And I've been advocating for myself for a long time.
All right, well listen, Demetrius, now it's time to unlock your phone.
I'm ready.
Here we go. Brittany, you wanna know if Demetrius has been going to his ex's house. Demetrius says he has not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his GPS and found that Demetrius is telling the truth.
Oh, you can't, oh, okay.
I'm just listening.
Britney, you wanna know Demetrius is having any inappropriate contact with his exes. Demetrius says he is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his DMs and found that Demetrius is not telling the truth. There are 103 messages between Demetrius and 2 of his exes. When you wanna meet? When can you? Just insinuating question, why do you wanna stay with me? I still love you. I know I messed up and I think about you all the time. I miss my family. I'm in a serious relationship and I am in love.
You really, bro? Like you really did all that?
Yeah, I did.
All right.
You don't care. And don't care.
You know the point, I don't care.
You don't care.
I'm sick of going through what I'm going through. I gotta ask somebody. I can't talk to you?
It don't matter. It don't matter. I begged you. I tried to talk to you multiple times. That right there was BS.
Okay, and?
Okay, well, here we go. Okay, just 'cause it ain't in your phone. You sneaky too. You might've been gone. That stuff gone. Probably been gone.
Well, we find things that are deleted on our— we have 35 years. But here we go. Brittany, you want to know if Demetrius has any videos of other women on his phone. Demetrius says he does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his videos and found that Demetrius is not telling the truth. He has a sex video on his phone and that sex video is from June of this year. We're getting a ping. Brittany, I have a confession to make.
When you found the sex tape of me in my phone, I told you it was old, but it wasn't. I cheated on you a few months ago with my baby mama.
That's what you saw in the video.
You are— you some piece of work.
I ain't no piece of work. I told you so.
But why do you lie? And you could have said this when I asked it though. Why? Why?
Bro, this don't make no sense.
We are grown, bro.
I got my kids' feelings involved as well, not just yours.
Like my kids, my kids. Okay, 'cause I do one thing, but what about my feelings? Okay, and I'm still gonna be there, but what about my feelings?
Hold on, Demetrius, I wanna say this. Of course your feelings are valid, but in this case, you have made the decision to consistently lie to her and lead her on. And this is the thing, if you knew you were unhappy, which I can tell you've been unhappy in this relationship, the fact that you're sleeping on a couch Why would you just end it? Because she is right. There are children's emotions involved. And you said you have other kids. I'm going to assume that you're a good father because the way she talked about your relationship with her kids. Why would you want to then hurt her but also hurt the family?
That's so hurtful, boy.
Like at that time, I wasn't thinking. I'd be under, I wasn't thinking. But at the same time, I go through this every day with this one. Like it's been this and that. Even in them times, it's like, it's hard to me.
Yes, I do.
And the person keeps saying, I don't want to talk. I don't talk, man. I break down. I cried in front of this woman, kid.
But you still want that.
And she played like, she played nonchalant, like, like my feelings don't count.
So if I show emotion, he don't care? If I don't show emotion, you still don't care?
I wouldn't act like this if you show emotion.
You don't care?
I would have to go to another or talk to any other woman. It is an excuse. So I'm supposed to be there being—
I could've, you know what, it's fine.
Unfortunately, it's not an excuse because as men, we have choices. And if we feel like our needs are not being met, we have the choice to leave or to stay. But if you decide to stay, that doesn't give you permission to then talk to other women and say, well, it's because you didn't talk to me. Give you permission to sleep with other women because they said we're not together. That is a direct choice. The choice that you have made, which you know and you just admitted to, was, it's hurtful. And you're a young man, you're 28. And so the reason I'm in this tone with you is because I wanna make sure you can hear me and receive this so that you can be a better man by your 30s and 40s. Because there's children that are watching you and they're gonna emulate this behavior. And I need you to understand that the choice you made was wrong. You could have left. If your feelings weren't being met, if the things you need weren't being met, That's valid. You have every right to say, I'm not getting what I need, but you don't have the right to stay and then manipulate and then betray the relationship with her and the family unit that you've come into and said, I'm gonna be the man of this house. Boy, if I can be honest with you, 'cause I've been tracking some things, I know you stayed in this because of your own relationship with men. I've been taking key things. You told me, I asked you about your relationship with your father. I could, you alluded to that was bad. Then I heard you say, "Others have run." You also said outta your mouth, "You don't come back and that's what worries me. You don't walk out, but you," so you have, there's abandonment issues in your life that have probably stemmed from abuse. And these abuse to abandonment issues come from men. And so therefore you stay in relationships with men who are emotionally abusing you right now. And because out of a fear of abandonment. And what has happened is that you stayed in this even though you got a man that you're supposed to be with sleeping on your couch.
Yeah.
Because you don't want your daughters to be abandoned either.
Correct.
But what you don't realize is you're doing more damage by staying in a relationship with a man who's going to abandon you even in your own home because that's abandonment in your own home.
Yeah.
He not in bed with you, he's on the couch.
Yeah.
He's abandoned the love and sanctuary that y'all have together. You gotta start to heal. Have you taken the time to start to process what went through with you and your father and how you have these feelings with men?
No, I kind of like bury it deep down. I don't like to talk about it. I don't even like to think about it. I haven't dealt with it.
I got that, I got that. So what I would like to do is I wanna offer you some therapy.
Okay.
Will you take it?
Yes.
Okay, that's what I'm gonna do for you.
Okay, I'll take it.
Because you need to talk to somebody. Because until you talk to somebody about this, you're gonna be in this cycle over and over again, over and over again. You know this toxic.
Yeah.
He's also young, you young. You don't need to be in any relationship right now. I think what you need to do is first, no more kids. That's the first thing. And then that's the first thing you need to go do.
Go do that, please.
And then secondly, you need to take some time to find you because right now I think you need to find, figure out who you are and what you need. So that you can be able to communicate that. You're 28 years old. I remember at 28, there was no way that I could, I was a father of 2 at 28 and couldn't manage, was managing that and couldn't manage no relationship. I don't know how you try to manage relationships and kids. That's a lot. You gotta figure out who you are as a young man. So, but as you're figuring that, as who you are as a young man, that doesn't give you the right to play any woman. You got that? Yes, sir. And you, I'm gonna give you some therapy.
Okay, I'll take it.
All right? All right, I wish y'all the best of luck, seriously.
Thank you.
I really do. God honest. Y'all are good people at heart. I can tell by your joy and your laughter and I can tell by your smile. Y'all are good people at heart, but y'all got some stuff y'all gotta figure out before y'all keep going on this path, all right?
All right.
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