Is My Uncle My Dad?! | KARAMO

So please tell me, how did you find out that your uncle has been claiming that he could be your father?

Well, my uncle, he is married, well, married to my aunt.

Uh-huh.

He's my cousin's dad.

Yes.

And one day she called me up, her name's Nicole, she calls me up and she's like, "Daddy just went to the doctor and I don't know what the doctor told him, but he come back and was saying he got a secret to tell." before he go to the grave. And so I'm like, what is it that we can possibly be sisters? So I laughed about it, she laughed about it.

'Cause you thought it was like a joke.

Yes.

Yeah.

So we talked about it for a little bit and then later on she called me back and she said, if we do a test, don't you come take my daddy truck.

Okay.

So we've laughed about it for all this time, but you know, in the back of our minds we still had suspense like, Could he really be my father?

Did you ever suspect that he could be your dad before that moment?

Not at all. Not at all. I grew up with someone else being my dad, someone else being there. Always, you know, taken care of. So when this came about, it was very shocking.

Why do you think he waited all these years to say something?

I have no idea. We're still looking for those answers, you know. And that's why we're here today. So if it comes back, you know, I— would definitely have a lot of questions for him.

Yeah, so did he explain how he could be your dad? Because obviously what he's suggesting, if he's married to your aunt, that means they're sisters?

Yes, our parents are sisters.

So is he claiming that he slept with both his wife and his wife's sister?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

And they were definitely, like I say, it was a lot, you know, back in the day, our parents did that. We don't know about. So we're here to get answers and—

I don't think people were doing that back in the day, okay? Not sisters. I don't know about that. They don't listen.

Yes.

So growing up, who were you told was your father?

A guy named Harrison. Like I said, he was always there, took great care of me. When I became a teenager, it was a question to me about something that happened that he, possibly paid the doctor off to say that I was not his child. Mm. And I asked him about it and he told me his wife could've took him for everything he had.

Wow.

That's what he said?

Yes.

Okay. And after he passed away, how were you treated by his family?

His family, I spoke to his wife about it. She told me to come to the service. At the time, my mother was still living. I spoke to her about it. And she asked me, is that something that I want to do? Which it was. I went to the service, introduced myself, and it was just like, hey, okay. And that was it. I've asked, reached out, asked about DNA tests, nothing at all.

Not one person from that side of the family?

One person.

So now you're left with these answers because he, you hear from him that, hey, I might have paid off a doctor or my wife was gonna take me for everything, so I didn't wanna do anything. And now you're in a space where now this, your uncle is coming forward, so you just really don't know who it could be.

I don't.

So he was married after your mom, or was he married while—

He was married before my mother.

Got it.

Yes.

And so that's why he's like his wife could have took him if she found out what he was doing.

Yes, but he was always there. I mean, he was a great father coming up.

Oh, he was, yes, you said that.

Oh yes, he was always in my life. I've heard stories as coming up when I was born, Nobody had to ever buy me anything because he made sure I had everything I needed.

That's good, that's good, that's good.

Yeah.

I'm glad that you had a relationship and you had somebody who was supporting you and loving you. Oh, yes. But you still do need your answers of who your father is. Did another man come forward after that to claim to be your father?

Yes, he did. He came forward. I spoke to him about it. He said a few things and me and his kids actually got really close. And we did a DNA test a few years ago and it came back that he was not my father.

Got it, okay. So this has been a search for a while.

It has, and I hope today give me the answers that, you know, been in the back of my mind and I can have some relief.

So what did your mom tell you about who your father could be?

She didn't. She's never said anything. Like Harrison was the one that was always there. So that's who I believed was my father.

And so even after she passed, before she passed, she just continued that story.

Yeah.

Got it. And did you talk to your mom about your uncle's revelation?

No, my mother had passed away already.

Mm-hmm. Understand. How has not knowing your biological father shaped your identity?

8 years I was in foster care. I had a pretty tough life, but my family was always very close. And everything I went through in foster care, it made me the person I am today. Yeah.

Got it.

I hear that. So growing up with Nicole, did she feel like more like a sister than a cousin?

Yes. Yes. Always. We've always had a great relationship. We went to school together. When he said that we could possibly be sisters, it brought me back to being in middle school people would say, "Manda," they call me Manda, they would say, "Manda, you and Nicole sound just alike." So what will it mean to you if she is your sister? It will mean everything. I've had my, like my mother had 3 girls and I'm the only one that's still living. So it will mean everything to me.

Yeah.

Even though we still very close, we'll always be close.

Of course.

But if she's my sister, that will bring us even closer.

Yeah, okay then. Well, Amanda, it's time to meet your cousin and potential sister, Nicole. Are you ready to see her?

Yes.

Okay, everyone please welcome Nicole to the show.

Hi.

Hey Nicole, how you doing? Hi. Thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

Hi. I can see from your eyes you're emotional. What's going on?

'Cause it's a possibility that she could be my sister and my cousin.

Yeah.

Oh, don't be crying.

It's okay. I know, I know.

We've always had a good bond. Always. We've always been there for each other through everything, so.

You love her.

This is deeper for you.

Yes, I do.

Yeah.

I do love her.

She know it.

So when was the first time you heard that your dad could be Amanda's father? And what was your reaction?

It was last year around Thanksgiving time. He came and told us, he was like, "I got something to tell y'all." And I was like, "Well, go ahead." And he was like, "Amanda could be my child." And I said, "What?" He was like, "Yeah, she could be mine." And I really didn't think he was telling the truth. He loved to joke all the time. So we just brushed it off. But a few days after that, I asked him, I was like, "You remember we was in the kitchen and you said that Amanda could be your child? Are you serious?" He was like, "Yeah." He was like, "Yeah, me and her mom had some dealings a few times back in the day." And he said he don't know why he waited so long.

Mm, mm.

So what did you think about his announcement? Were you disappointed?

I wasn't disappointed. I really didn't have no feelings for real 'cause I thought he was kind of joking. But as time passed, like, this is serious.

Yeah, yeah.

This is serious.

So you're still in a sense a state of shock in a bit 'cause it's like until you have the answers, all we know is that there's this looming question now, is my cousin my sister actually?

Right.

As a child, did you notice Amanda struggling with not having a father?

I brought it up a few times. We've talked about it.

Yeah, but she would act out sometimes, being a bad butt. So I kind of figured maybe that had a lot to do with it. But like she mentioned earlier about this one guy that was in her life or whatever, I didn't know anything about him when she always came around me when we was younger. I just found out when we was an adult.

Where was he those years in your foster care?

I don't know. I don't know. It's like it was blank for me those years.

And how many years were you in foster care?

Until I turned 18.

Okay.

Until I aged out of foster care.

So it was about 9 years?

Yes, but I was staying with my sister at the time until she passed away.

Got it. Okay, I understand. Do you believe she is your sister?

No.

You don't? No. Why do you don't think she's your sister?

Only because all my dad kids, we just got this certain walk. And she don't walk like us.

And she don't walk like y'all? So you're like, no, that's not it. Well listen, Nicole's dad and Amanda's alleged father is joining us on the phone. So everyone please welcome Mills to the show. Hey Mills, this is Karamo. How you doing?

I'm doing good, Karamo. How you doing today?

I'm good, thank you, sir. So I gotta ask you, just bluntly, why did you wait until now to reveal that you could be Amanda's father?

I didn't really wonder about it through the years. It never came to me. It was just that spur of the moment of Thanksgiving. And I looked at her and looked at, 'cause she looked so much like her sister. And they look so much alike. And I just, it just wanted, it just came to my spirit, I guess. Okay. And I talked to my daughter about it. I talked to Nicole about it. I told her about it. And it wasn't like I knew about it. I didn't even know she was, I'm just learning she was in foster care. I didn't know nothing about that.

What was your relationship like with her mother?

Well, we was good friends. We went to school together. And after, we could party together all the time. Back in my younger days, I was drinking a lot. You know, we used to party. And we got together one night, partying, and one thing led to another and it just happened. We didn't plan it to happen, but you know, things happen in life.

Yeah. When Amanda was growing up, did you ever see signs that made you say, "Hmm, she could be my child?" No, I really didn't.

But I moved from there Well, no, I really didn't 'cause I moved there from '99, but she was always around family 'cause she's family and she always gonna be family.

Of course.

That didn't never cross my mind.

Understandable. If you are Amanda's father, how will you make up for the lost time?

Well, I can't really make up for lost time 'cause you can't make up for things that done passed through life. You just have to do better and hope she forgive me for not, forgive me for not knowing and we would build a father relationship together. But I can't go back and change nothing that done happened down through the years.

I hear that. All right, well, Amanda, are you ready for the DNA truth?

Yes, I am.

Well, it is time for the DNA results.

Yes.

Are you ready to unlock your best self? Key is my new wellness app made for you. Fitness, nutrition, meditation, sobriety, better relationships, self-love, 6 keys, 1 app. Change starts today.

Amanda, you wanna know if Mills is your father and if Nicole is your sister.

Yes.

You went your entire life thinking this is your cousin and your uncle.

Yes.

You had a mother, you had a father that was in your life, but you always assumed that's who it was until just last year when Mills decided to confess that he had a relationship with your mother. Yes. And that he could be your father.

Yes.

I know that has, You have been searching, you want answers to who you are, and this could be your first step of finding out who you are. In this envelope is your truth. It's your truth to open, not mine. So good luck.

Thank you. Oh, this makes me feel, I don't know. I'll have so many questions if he is my father. I mean, so many questions. Knowing my life could have been totally different It makes me very, I'm not gonna say angry, but I'm sad inside, you know, because things could have been, we could have done this years ago, many, many years ago. And I'm just ready to find out. But I also want, if Nicole can be by my side and we can do this together. But I wanna say to you, no matter the results, we've always had a great relationship. We're always gonna be cousins. I mean, that's not gonna change. That's not gonna change. So, let's see. Amanda Mills is not your biological father. And it's okay. It's okay. We'll keep searching. I'll keep searching.

I'm sorry, Amanda.

It's okay. Nothing for you to be sorry about.

Yeah. Yeah.

What's going through both of your minds right now?

Well, through my mind, I'm hurt. I'm still looking, you know, but I can't go to my mother for the answers. So it's bothering me a lot more. So I don't know which way to turn from here, but I still got my cousin, you know?

I just, uh.

What's making you so emotional, Nicole?

Say it again?

What's making you so emotional?

'Cause I know she's been searching all her life. Yeah.

You gonna have me crying. I love you.

I love you too.

Thank you.

So Mills, can I ask you this? Do you know anyone else around that time that could potentially be?

Well, I always thought was her father. I always thought that.

And who's that? Harris.

Harris. I wish you can go back and get one of the siblings and test them. 'Cause now that I think about it, she probably, that probably her daddy is her daddy.

Well, listen, the truth of the matter is, is that because you've never had an opportunity to get that DNA test, we don't know. What I would like you to know is that if you'd like us to try to reach out to him, or I mean, or to his family members, Harrison's family, we can do that for you.

Okay.

We can definitely try.

Thank you.

Because you deserve your answer. Answers. And if any of them have the opportunity to watch this show, if any of Harrison's children's nieces, nephews, anyone has an opportunity, well, if there's any direct relatives of Harrison who are watching this show, understand that this was a little girl who's just searching for answers. Because I know sometimes we get caught up in our feelings and think like, oh, I don't want to get involved in this drama, whatever. But I want you to put yourself in her position and think, if I was a little girl who just wanted to know where I come from, what my identity is, wouldn't you wish that somebody could take 10 minutes just to say, I can swab my mouth just so you can have your answers. And so I'm hoping that I can just lean on someone's empathy for a moment and say, hey, have some empathy for this young woman, have some sympathy for her experience. And then just say, I wanna help because you deserve answers. You deserve answers.

Like I say, reaching out to them. I have one of his grandkids and we've talked about it and he just don't wanna make his mother upset, which I understand, you know, his mother's all he has, so.

Yeah.

Well, hopefully if you're open to it, we got some ways to convince people.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Well listen, hopefully we can help you. Thank you for being here and sharing your story.

Thank you.

I'm glad you two still have each other.

Thank you.

On my show, I unlock phones and now I wanna unlock your best self. You need someone to talk to who will listen and give real advice with no judgment. That's what Karamo AI does. Text me, call me, download Key, and let's start talking and growing.