Is The Man I Love Secretly Cheating With Men? | KARAMO

Now Whitney and Airiana have been best friends for 4 years. And Whitney says her friend has a history of toxic relationships and she hates to see her friend with a broken heart, which I understand that so much. Whitney says she was the one who found hidden apps like Grindr on Airiana's fiancé's phone. Yes, I know. Which led them to call off the engagement. Whitney says that Airiana is considering getting back with her ex and she's here to put a stop to it. So everyone, please help me welcome Whitney to the show. Hi.

Can I have a hug?

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

You look great.

Thank you.

Yes, you do. All right, so Whitney, please tell me about your friend.

Well, me and Ariana have been friends since 2018. We've lived with each other off and on, and she is my daughter's godmom. Well, I'm out here today because I heard that he brought her to the show to try and win her back and mm-mm.

You're not having it?

No.

Don't you love a good girlfriend? I call 'em my good GGs, a good girlfriend. Like listen, a GG will come to your rescue at any moment. She said, I heard he trying to call her back, I came too. You know what I mean? Which I love that. So you said you feel bad for her, the fact that she's like in these toxic relationships. Tell me about this.

Well, she's gullible, but she has a big heart. She is very forgiving. So when I see something, I try to tell her like, you need to step back, kind of look at what you're getting into. And when we noticed these red flags with Richard, I told her it's time to look into him.

So when did you start feeling that sort of, when did you start getting that sense that you had a bad feeling about Richard?

It was good in the beginning. He had told us like some things and kind of like, oh, he had money and stuff like that. And I was like, okay, a man that could take care of my best friend. And then I started to know like little lies here and there. And I kept telling her, I was like, you need to look through his phone. And she just would not look through his phone. We finally decided to go through his phone and we snuck his phone and we did some CIA work and—

You sound like my sister in spirit, girl, 'cause y'all know I like to unlock a phone here, so I get it, girl. Listen, I understand. Unlock the phone and get the truth.

Yeah, we downloaded like all of this deleted stuff that he had deleted. We found Grindr on his phone. We found different nudity pictures on his phone.

How did Ariana feel when she saw all these, when she saw the Grindr app, when she saw the photos, when she found out that he basically is cheating on her?

We were sitting there, we were up till like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning looking at all this. But when it hit her, she broke down and she cried. And it hurts me to see my friend like that.

So did you ever find exact proof that he cheated?

Yes, we actually did. When we found the Grindr app, she made him go through it. And he actually wasn't even using his profile picture on there. And he said that he would go to these houses to meet up with them, but he would just sit outside and then change his mind.

Got it, yeah. So just for anyone who's wondering, Grindr app is an app where consenting men of a trans experience can meet up and decide to date or have sexual relations. And so I'm assuming Ariana and Richard are both in a heterosexual relationship. Yes. That's why this is shocking. All right, do you, so do you feel like Ariana does too much for him?

I feel like she does in different ways. I feel like she's had enough But I also feel like she is wanting that type of relationship, like love, she wants it. So she's very forgiving. So I feel like I am here just to tell her like, no, you cannot get with him.

My producers told me that Ariana bought her own engagement ring. Can you tell me about that?

Yep.

Yeah.

She did buy her own engagement ring. He said he was gonna get her one, but He was always saying, "Oh yeah, I go to work all the time." My husband worked with him and said he was never at work. So that's why he never had any money.

Got it. And so you don't like the fact that she bought her own ring?

Mm-mm.

Yeah. And do you think that Ariana will take him back today?

I hope not.

Yeah. Well, you know your friend best, you know?

I feel like she probably would.

So we've heard a little bit about this story and I wanna go ahead and bring Richard out to see his side to all of this. So Richard, come on out.

Y'all, we're gonna let him go on.

We don't know his side yet. We don't know his side. Hey Richard, how are you doing?

Good, how about yourself?

Thank you for being here. So listen, I know that you heard everything that was said backstage. Do you have something to say about it?

Yeah, she didn't buy her own ring. I did put money down on it. I did go to work. I do know that.

How do you feel about the fact that she's always involved?

Well, I believe that a relationship is two people. Once other people get involved, then—

Who is she supposed to talk to?

She can talk, but how you were always right there, right there, right there, right there? No, it's a two-person relationship.

But who is she supposed to talk to about you lying to her and going on Grindr apparently.

You know, I'll own up to that. I did go out and I did have sex. She asked me to change for her and I did. Every time I've been like, oh, you know what? I really wanna go out and have sex or I wanna watch porn, I just throw away my phone.

So listen, I wanna hear what Ariana has to say about all of this. So let's welcome Ariana to the show right now. How are you? Good. Good, you look beautiful. Okay, so you just heard your best friend say she's surprised that you called him, said you want him back. She's here because she wants to protect you. What do you have to say to your best friend?

I definitely have been thinking about it, but after the things that I heard backstage, He's always, it's just consistent lies. Why can't you just tell me the truth? Why did it take this for you to tell me the truth? It shouldn't take all this.

It should not.

I told you that I would listen to you and support you and talk to you. Like I talked to you, didn't I?

Yeah.

But you didn't do that for me.

You just said, "Fuck her." Why is it that you, Ariana, that you wanted him back before? That you made that call to say? What was it about your relationship that was so special to you?

In the beginning, he really was special to me. Like, he, from what I perceived, he was very intimate, able to talk to, super nice, and like, I felt comfortable with him. It was, I felt very comfortable with him. And then it just, things started not adding up.

Yeah.

Just consistently, just little things. Little tiny things.

All the red flags popped out.

So what were the red flags for you that popped up?

Just the lying.

So like tiny little things that you think are white lies adding up to you to say like, this is not okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I gave him 3 chances.

Yes.

The first time was when I found the Grindr and I was like, okay, if you say that you're gonna change and do what I ask, then I will give you another chance. Then the second time after that, he was, I talked to his ex-girlfriends and they were saying that he's a consistent liar. He's always talking crap about them and being very, very derogatory towards them. And then the third time was when I found out that he had notifications on Facebook Dating. You don't have notifications if you're not on there. Sorry.

Got it. I understand. So there was like a lot of red flags that constantly were coming up. And then why did you stay though? I know you keep saying that it was vulnerable, but I just, Because he was vulnerable, he was nice to talk to, but then why did you stay?

I'm a very forgiving person. I love very deeply and very hard, and it was hard for me to let that go because I really thought that he was a guy. I really thought he presented that to me. He showed that to me.

I kept trying and trying, and I was okay with you taking sex off the table. I really was. As much as I could be at that time, yes, I was very okay with it. But every time we got to a point where, okay, hey, we're both happy, we both feel happy, you took cuddling away. We couldn't lay in the same bed and even just talk.

Because of tensions.

You know what I believe. You know that I'm a Christian woman. You know the work we're supposed to do.

And I understand that.

So if you couldn't do that, then you should've said that.

But if we can't even just lie together or sit on the couch next to each other.

Then we're Christian. Why did you take sex off the table?

Because I wanted to have an intimate relationship, not just be about sex, always having sex all the time.

I had a great relationship with no one in there.

But the relationship was built off sex. A foundation of sex, you take that away, your house crumbles.

Well, the house already crumbled.

Do you think Ariana was playing games with you?

I do not, no.

Good.

I felt that—

Do you think that he was playing games with you?

Oh yes, yes.

I felt that the first time she broke up with me, It wasn't even really breaking up, we were just talking. She was like, you know, I'm not over my ex, I just need some time. I was like, that's okay. And then we started dating and then she's like, you know what, I feel like we can't be together. That is okay. If we are broken up, let me go be broken up. I'm gonna go have sex.

All right, is there anything that you regret?

I do, yes.

What do you regret?

I regret cheating and lying to her every day.

Yeah, you regret the lying part.

And the cheating.

And the cheating part. Have you told her that?

I have not in person.

Can you tell her right now?

I truly am sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but I really am sorry and I do hate myself for doing all that because you were the one that actually made me happy. I've been with two other people in an actual relationship and I could care less about them.

If I made you happy, why did you make the decision that you made? I obviously did not make you happy.

You did make me happy.

Could not have.

That doesn't make sense.

It might not make sense to you.

Of course it doesn't.

But every time I thought I was happy and truly happy, I got in my own head and like I told you, I overthought everything.

So that gives you a reason to go and cheat?

It does not. But if I try and talk with you about my emotions and you say, "Uh, no, this can wait, this can wait." I just wanna make sure.

So you're 21. How old are you?

23.

23 years old. Got it. So the only reason I'm asking for those ages is because I wanna give you my take on this. I know you came here for my advice and my thoughts on all of this matter. I am so happy that you are willing to give her the fact that you can apologize face to face because you deserve that. And as a young woman who's on her own journey of figuring out who she is and how she's gonna grow, it's important that those who cause you any pain or damage own up to it. And so I'm glad that you can step up and give her that, but there's nothing else he can give you. And that's what you also need to be aware. And I get it, you're a loving and forgiving person, but what I need you to do is figure out new ways to understand of how not to get back in a toxic relationship.

Relationships?

Because what I'm seeing right now from hearing from your friend is that you're repeating a pattern of finding men who are going to emotionally abuse you. Because even though this is not emotional abuse in the sense of like he was saying things to you, he actually was damaging you emotionally and mentally by lying to you and cheating on you. And you don't deserve that. Do you believe that you can start to see those red flags a little bit sooner and not be so forgiving of them?

Yeah. Definitely.

How do you think you'll do that?

Well, I did try to date somebody after him and I don't know, I just, I think of my, I've been trying to think of myself as more, not as less.

Good job.

And trying to. Good job. And just trying to see myself as the beautiful woman that I'm always told that I am instead of just thinking about all the ways that the men have, what they've done to me in my life. I wanna be better and stooping to that level is not going to help.

[Speaker] Now Richard, I gotta tell you, I actually don't think you're a bad guy, but what I wanna encourage you to do is be in a space where you can be with yourself and realize that you don't have to lie to anybody to receive love. You don't have to lie to receive love. You deserve love and you deserve also to be on your journey of discovering who you are, You are 21 years old and I don't just mean about sexual orientation, I mean in everything in your life. You deserve to figure out what my finances look like, what I wanna do with my life, who am I? You deserve time to heal, but you don't have to lie to get love. And the sooner you realize that, I'm telling you, I was a young man once who thought like I had to floss, I had to say certain things to get the love that I thought I deserved. And one day I woke up and realized, you know what? People actually love me more when I'm honest. So find that truth within yourself to be honest and I promise you, I promise you, you won't lose another good one like this, all right? All right, everyone. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more, period.