Someone blames themselves entirely for a breakup. A counselor pushes back, naming specific choices both partners made: not answering calls, taking a traveling job. The point: stop taking all the guilt. Both people broke it.
Everything is my fault. I should have been able to do better.
I stopped you and said that you can't. You can't do that. It's not your fault. There are two people in this relationship, and you both made decisions throughout this relationship that were unhealthy. You both made. You weren't there to pick up her phone and make her go to another guy.
I know.
So that's not your fault. That is her choice.
Right.
It was your choice to choose a job where you had to go away.
Right.
It was your choice and that did cause you to start moving on. But don't ever again put that, you need to start practicing right now to start not putting that full guilt on yourself. Can you say, "I'm sorry, but it was both of our faults." I'm sorry, it was both of our faults. Can you say that as well?
Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry, it was both of our faults.
I think y'all taking the first step here to honestly communicating, and I really hope you heard that. Both of your faults. You heard her say it as well. Both of y'all's faults.
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