It's Been 14 Years Of Lies, Our Marriage Is Over! | KARAMO

So please tell me, why did you pack up and leave your husband?

So Karamo, I packed up and left my husband because I felt like he wasn't there for me. I couldn't trust him. Felt like I just do everything on my own.

Okay. That makes sense.

Yeah.

That makes sense. And you took your kids with you?

I did. I took my kids with me.

How many kids you got?

We have 2 children together.

2 children.

Yes. Okay.

And how long were you together?

14 years.

Oh wow. 14 years. So for you to say 14 years, I gotta go, it must have been a place where you're saying that the trust and these other issues were serious.

Yes, yes, yes.

Was it hard for you?

It was very hard for me. It took a long time for me to really make that decision. It took me like 3 or 4 months in my head to figure out like, are you gonna really do this? I decided I do want a divorce, but at that moment in the time that I've been by myself now for like almost 8 months, It's like, do I actually want a divorce? He's actually tried to, you know, come back and whatnot. And I'm kind of like, okay, let's see.

So what is it exactly that's telling you to give it another chance?

So I feel like although he's done a lot in his past and we don't have that trust, I feel like I didn't really give him a chance to be himself, you know, as far as in trying to be there for me. I feel like I was an enabler more.

You felt like you were an enabler?

I feel like I am, yeah.

Okay. Do you feel like he pushed you away?

I feel like he definitely pushed me away.

Yeah, in what ways?

In a lot of different ways. As far as in, I would find things in his phone, I would look on my own, but I would find things in his phone that were just, you know, it would turn me off. Like, am I not the right one for you? Do you not want me? What am I doing wrong when I've been here for 14 years trying and trying?

So is this in relation to like the type of porn he watched or something?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, and so this breakup right now that you have has been 8 months?

—It's been 8 months.

—And what has 8 months been like for you? I've been free.

I've been happy. I've been— I actually have got a lot going on now. Uh-huh. Like what? And so I'm very happy. Just a lot of different things that's coming soon, and it's a surprise.

You just feel like now life is—

Yeah, life has just taken off. I've been that caged butterfly before, and I'm no longer feeling like that. And so I don't want to go backwards anymore. I want to go forward. Good. So, yeah. So if he wants to take the time out to actually do be with me and respect me in the way that I should be respected and understand that my business is just business and it's not anything personal, then I think I can definitely give it a chance.

Got it. Okay. So that makes sense of why you're hesitant to come back in.

Yeah, I'm very hesitant.

Because you're in a very happy, free space right now. I am. I am. So what do you want from this fresh start?

I want a new start. We built off of, I believe, unfaithfulness, not being trustworthy to each other. The foundation. Telling lies to each other. And I feel like now we can have a fresh start, do things the right way.

Well, let's see what Anthony has to say about all this. So everyone, please welcome Anthony to the show.

I don't really feel like it's pretty much is me not wanting to financially help. It's more so of me wanting to believe that what I'm contributing to is financially helping us. So I want to help that make sense.

Yeah. I think when it comes to finances, like I always say, it's facts over feelings. We don't need to know believe or not, either the bill can be paid or it can't be. Right. So are you able, have you in the past been able to pay for the bills that needed to be paid for?

In the past, no. Okay. I'll answer that.

Okay, no. But now you're saying?

But now it's not a problem.

Got it, okay then. So what were you feeling when Kalandria left you?

I felt like she destroyed me when she left me. Like I didn't know what to believe. Like I didn't. Yeah. That's really why.

So I did those things. You do know why I left, right? Right. And you do know why I actually took the time out and didn't tell you why I was doing the things that I was doing, right? Right. And I wanna do it with you, but I feel like I don't want you to drag me down doing it. You know what I mean?

I feel like if we would've came on better terms, it would've been differently. But not knowing is what hurts me. Do you see the kids?

Do you see the kids? I'm sorry.

Not as much as I would like to. 'Cause it's been 8 months.

How many times have you seen the kids?

Once for a birthday.

Yeah. So when you found out that you heard when she said that she was leaving, you thought it was just a separation. You later found out she was thinking about divorce.

Yeah, that's what the devastating part of it was.

And I did, I did, I did, Karamo. I felt like he wasn't ready to understand where I wanted to be in my life. I get it.

You gotta process. It's 14 years together. Sometimes it's not just easy. It's easy to break things. Exactly. But talk about the infidelity between you two.

Yeah. Well, the infidelity really came from me being in the space that I was. It wasn't that I didn't trust you. It was just that I didn't believe what you were saying.

Right. And so, you know, we dealt with a lot over the past years that when, for instance, when I was unfaithful, you would bring that person up often. And it would be a problem.

Were you actually able to forgive her?

I am, I'm definitely able, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm hurt behind it.

And you cheated as well? Right. Yeah. Right. Do you trust her? I do.

I trust her, I don't— But do you trust me? I trust you, I don't trust the people around you. That's what I don't trust. Well, that's not trust then. Trust that you would do the right thing. Right.

And he says that a lot, Karamo. He tells me that, he tells me that a lot. He trusts that I would do the right thing, but when it's other people around me who may take interest in me or whatnot, I need him to trust that I will not do the same things. I can't help that.

My producer say you feel she creates the problems in her head.

Yeah, because most of the time, you're upsetting me about something that's not even there. So for instance— I feel like it's created.

So for instance, things like with my friends or what I'm wearing or whatnot. I was very, he says in my head because he feels like I've told him before, I think that you think that what I'm wearing or something is a problem. And he may have not said it, but I feel like being a wife, certain things he feels like is not right. Well, confirm it.

Did you have a problem when she was dressing a certain way?

Never had a problem with how you, you are beautiful. I have never had a problem with how you looked at all. Thank you.

So is it your own insecurity that's popping up?

Probably was my own insecurity at first. Now I feel like I've leveled out. I know what I want and I know what I'm doing. You're free now.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, I'm a better communicator, so I feel like I can communicate with him when, if he can be open to me and talk to me, we can communicate better and we can do things better. But if you're gonna blame and point fingers, we're not gonna get anywhere.

Do you think that you've grown during the separation?

I've definitely grown. Yeah. It's been a lot of self-love going on these past 8 months. Yeah, I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for you. And you said you're ready to help out with the financial burden? Definitely. Okay then.

I'm definitely ready to play my part.

Yeah. So what do you need from her in order to make this work? 'Cause I asked her what she needs from you.

I want you to be able to love me for me. Okay. I want you to be able to trust me because I'm not gonna lie to you about anything. And I want us to be great together.

Okay. So what does love me for me mean?

Love me for me? Mm-hmm. The, let's not bring it up. I want this to be the last time we have to even say the word past unless we passing by something. Right. I don't want having to talk about the past no more after this show.

You know, Karamo, I actually don't want the past at all. I know we've grown and we have memories of 14 years, But I really don't wanna build off those anymore. I wanna start fresh, I wanna do things right. Of course.

Well, Anthony, we have your Unlock the Phone results right here. Okay. So, well, Karamo, you want to know if Anthony has any explicit photos on his phone. Anthony says he does not. My Unlock the Phone investigators searched his photos and found that Anthony is not telling the truth. What's in your phone? He has 3 photos of his private parts from the last 2 months that I'm assuming you're sending out.

So what have you been doing there?

It was just pictures that was been there. It's not recent. From the last 2 months? Yeah, but they was just there.

Like it wasn't— And so who did you send those to?

Yeah, that's what I wanted to know. Who did you send those to?

It wasn't sent to nobody.

So you taking photos of yourself just for you to look at?

No, I were, they were going to be sent out, but You didn't? No, I never did anything.

All right, well, Calandra, you want to know if Anthony has received any money from women in his apps. Anthony says he has not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his apps and found that Anthony is not telling the truth. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his apps and found that he has 3 different women sending him money on Cash App. He saw multiple conversations strongly using these women's assistance.

Send him money. Yeah. So are you gonna change there? Because that's been the problem, honestly.

That's actually, it's been shut down. Like those were people from the past.

'Cause I don't want other women to think that they can come back and everything.

So the women from the past have come back still. So how are you shutting them down?

Well, it is shut down regardless because they all know what's going on with me now. They know that I'm going, to try to be with my marriage. Like, I wanna be with my wife. Like, all of those were just conversations being held within those 8 months that was, I was free like you was free. So it was just me reaching out.

[Speaker:KARAMO] So my question is, now this is not to indict you because I really wanna do help you all. If you said during your 8-month period it was about you doing growth to prove to her that you're ready, why would you still engage in these things during that 8-month period? Because that's your time to say, I'm showing you.

[Speaker] It's something to do.

[Speaker] Well, it can't be something to do if your intention If your intention is to say, I'm gonna show you that I'm ready. Yeah. And then the impact is that I'm gonna do the exact opposite. Exactly. Then how can she trust that after the 8 months now you're gonna decide?

It's not that I'm doing this because of something that's going to be hurtful. It's more so of, I know I can talk to this person. I know I could talk to that person.

Right, and that's been the problem. I know that these women will talk to you. Well, let's continue on.

Calandra, you want to know if Anthony has been direct messaging any other women? Anthony says he is not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his DMs and found that Anthony is not telling the truth. He has 747 DMs with 6 different women since October of 2023. All conversations were explicit.

And that's what I don't understand.

One woman had shared her location multiple times. This month alone, one of them has shared her location multiple times.

And see, I don't understand why it's been so many women.

That's been the problem for me. It's not so many women, it's just that it, I didn't wanna be building anything based on lies. So I'm doing the work within myself. Like these other people—

But you can't work if you're getting that from everyone else, that attention. And that's been the problem too.

But it's not for attention. It's more so of me reaching out just to be, it's not the attention thing for me. Okay.

Well, we got answers there. I think we'll move on. Anthony, because you wanted Calandra's phone unlocked, correct? All right. Well, it's time to unlock your phone. Anthony, you wanna know if Kalandria has been communicating with other men? Kalandria says she is not communicating with any other men. My Unlock the Phone investigator was unable to find anything 'cause she refused to unlock her phone.

Oh! I did, because I don't feel like it's a point that I unlock my phone. I don't feel like it's nothing that's neither of us.

How can we build and go forward if it's not all out on the table?

Because the things that's going on with me have not been because I was building to be with you. I was building to be by myself, to be—

But even if so, that should be proven. Like, you shouldn't have a problem with allowing me to understand it for myself. There's nothing that's been proven. So why we couldn't just unlock and see that for ourselves? Because— I would take it off the table.

If I could tell you this, and I'm gonna give you my scenario. Sincere advice. And I'm gonna say this first. You are not the villain in this story and you are not the villain in this story. There is two individuals that got together when they were in their early 20s and they have grown and are discovering who they are. They have also, that's you. Yes. And you have also found that there is patterns and things that you actually enjoy doing because it serves your ego and gives you attention in a way that you'd like. Neither are wrong. It's just that the two things that work for you don't work together. And you've separated for a reason. You left to make things right. And Anthony, you need to work on you before you all can be an us. But the thing is, at the end of the day, I don't believe that's gonna even work because y'all have grown apart. Y'all want different things. And as much as y'all wanna try to be transparent now and do these things, the fact that up until a month ago, this month alone, you still talking to other women, you doing these things, you still get money from other women. This is what you want. And if that's what you desire, I wish you to have it because clearly you're getting it from other people. I just think it's better for you not to drag this woman into it. And on the same rate, you're in a space right now where you just told me, let's go back to what you said 'cause I like to write it down. Yeah. I am free and happy and a lot is happening. Your words. Yes. So stay in your freedom. Stay in your happiness. What I feel is happening is there's a fear of we had 14 years and I know you, you know me, the nostalgia's gone. I think that if y'all ever did try to get back in this space right now, until you two are growing at the same place and space, this will never work and y'all are not there right now. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, you know it's true. I hear you. Yeah, you know it. Yeah. What y'all think? I think so too.

It makes sense.

Okay, look, I like reasonable adults. Honestly, that statement right there gives me so much hope for the friendship and the co-parenting. I wish y'all the best of luck. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah, seriously, I really do. Everyone, thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and we can keep growing. I love you all.

Anthony, I love you. I hope the best for us and I pray that you actually have changed and that the things that we did see is not what's gonna make us, you know, not be together or whatever, but I'm praying that, um, things can be just better for us and we can really move on and start fresh.