It's Been 7 Years, Where Is My Daughter? | KARAMO

On October 5th, 2017, my daughter Christina Ramirez went missing. It's been 7 years and I've gotten no answers and I'm heartbroken. At the time, Christina and her boyfriend were living with me in my house and he brought nothing but trouble. They were constantly fighting and things were coming up missing in my house. When I found his drugs, I told Christina about it, and I told her I want him out of my house. Then she decides to go with him. I never saw her after that again. The last thing she said to me was, "I'll be back, Mom," and she never came home. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, pray for her. 'Cause life is not the same without her. She was my firstborn and she was my best friend. A piece of me has been missing for 7 years. I fear I'll die before I find out where my daughter is, what happened. I know my daughter's out there and I'm not gonna stop looking till I get her home one way or the other.

All right, the family is here for my help. We have Alisa's other 2 daughters, Lettie and Alexis with us today. Thank you for being with us.

Thank you for having us.

So I wanna ask you, 'cause I saw you two watching that and you were very emotional. How do you two feel?

It hurts to see her cry like that. And I'm not really a very emotional person.

Yeah, of course.

But yeah, it just breaks my heart seeing her so distraught and just knowing that like she doesn't have any answers.

Can you tell us about your sister and what type of person she was like?

I'd have to say she was a very loving, happy person. Very caring, very compassionate, and very family-oriented. And she was very much about her sisters. Like, we're her life.

Yeah.

Like life of the party, loudest person in the room. Yeah. Funniest person in the room.

Always laughing.

Just like making sure everyone else is good before for herself.

When was the last time either one of you saw or spoke to your sister?

The beginning of October of 2017. The last time I actually physically seen her, I had helped her sell one of her little puppies. That's the last time I seen her.

Same for you?

I was living at home, so she, again, like she was living with us with the boyfriend and whatnot. So I remember going to school, saying goodbye, giving everyone a hug and Just a normal day.

So walk me through the disappearance. How long did it take before you knew that she was missing?

I don't know. It's just like we talk to her so often and constantly. That's how close we were that to, you know, you're not responding to my messages. We're not getting phone calls anymore. Where are you? Like what's going on?

Got it. So it was some time.

Yeah.

But you all did realize that the behavior was different immediately.

Absolutely.

Right. Got it. Lettie, did you reach out to her on social media?

Oh, a lot, constantly, over and over and over. I'd call her, I would send her messages over and over. At the time, I was pregnant with my first child, so we're anticipating a baby shower, setting up things for that, and just kind of like talking about like, what do you think the baby's gender's gonna be? She was excited for this.

Yeah, yeah, got it. And how has your sister's disappearance affected your family?

It's not, we're not even really like a unit like we used to be. She held our family together like glue. Really, she did.

Yeah. So when you say not a unit, do you mean the communication is lacking now? You're not spending time together? What is it?

It's distant. I mean, our other siblings kind of have drifted, our sibling, I will say, has kind of drifted off and the holidays aren't the same. And you know, when my mom wasn't there, she was always there.

Yeah.

And yeah, emphasis on her being like the second parent. None of us have contact with our dad. My experience, as I like see how it all kind of transpired, we didn't grieve a death, we grieved a disappearance. And mind you, I don't think everyone accepted it as a missing person at the same time.

Got it.

And I'm sorry.

It's okay, love.

You're gonna make me cry. I feel like she had to grow up faster than she was supposed to.

I couldn't enjoy my last year of high school. My sister was gone. My mom clocked out mentally. No one was even gonna pay for my prom. I almost didn't go to my graduation. I tried to go to college. I dropped out the first semester I went, and I'm glad that I went back, but I wasn't healed.

I was pregnant with my first daughter, and She never got to meet my kids and you know.

Yeah, makes sense. What were your observations about your mom's interaction with the police?

Just anger because they're not doing anything. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've seen search parties and faces on the screen, white faces on the screen, blue eyes, blonde hair. This person's missing, doesn't matter what age. But the last name's not Hispanic, Ramirez. It's not, it's, you know, it's given the energy we did not get.

There was a girl that went missing around the same time that was, I hate to say it this way, but she was a white girl and they sent dogs out, they had a search party. And so where's my search party for my sister? That's what I think about.

It hurts. I mean, I don't have the exact statistics right now, but I do know there's a disparity there, and these are the real faces of that disparity when you don't get the same attention by police officers because of your race, your last name, or where you live. And I'm sorry for that. I know it doesn't help any, but it does. I'm sorry. Alexis, what is it like living with your mom right now?

Some days are hard, some days are really good. Like, I love my mom to death. That's the only parent I have. It's the only family we have. Like I said, it's my mom and my sisters. That's it. I think I hold a lot in when we get into it or whatever, just 'cause I'm afraid of losing my mom. So if we do have an argument or whatever, I feel like I can't really express myself to the fullest because I have to think about my mom's health. It feels like even when I set a boundary, which is what it is, it's turned into something that's like a weapon and it's not, I'm not trying to weaponize anything. I'm just trying to express myself and I'm just, I'm scared to do that because like I said, you know how she said in her video, she doesn't know how long she has and she probably will never get the answer. I don't know how long I have with her.

[Speaker] Because do you, both of you feel like your mother with your relationship with your mother has suffered?

Yeah.

Yeah, I got it. So today you want to get that communication back. You want to get that relation back.

Right.

Okay, we can figure out how to get that first step. Well, I think it's time to hear from your mom's, hear your mom's side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Alisa to the show. Thank you for being here.

She looks so cute.

Nice to meet you, Alisa.

I love you. I'm gonna cry.

Thank you, I love you too. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. So how do you feel about what was said?

It's all true.

I agree. You know, it's been hard and it's been hard on them and sometimes I feel like it's just me, but it's them too. They're suffering. We all are.

Yeah.

Christina kept us together.

Mm-hmm.

She helped me raise them too. She was my best friend.

Yeah. I'm gonna ask you, what do you miss about your mom then?

I mean, I just have to say maybe just like her looking forward to things.

Yeah.

And just her being excited for things. I just feel like she doesn't really have like anything that she's passionate about anymore or interested in anymore.

Yeah.

That's true.

It's just kind of like, I'm not gonna lie, my mom just kind of just be on her bed watching TikToks and stuff and watching her phone. And I'm just like, when my sister was here, we did things together. We went out, we did things and we were, you know.

Did you know your daughters felt this way about you losing interest?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I need to be more understanding, but it's like, I'm here.

Your daughter just said, I'm here. Have you ever heard her say that to you?

No.

What does it make you feel like to hear your daughter say, I'm here?

It feels good.

Yeah. What would you tell your daughter?

I love you, Alexis, a whole bunch.

I know.

And you live with me and we're, I mean, we get along. We take care of each other. We take care of each other.

I mean, we bumpin' heads though.

Like I said, as upset as I can feel about her being kind of like mentally checked out, all I can do is think I know why.

Yeah, of course you have empathy for her. I wanted to take a focus on that of saying I'm here. To make sure you understand that we understand and have empathy exactly what you're going through. I don't think there's a single person who could hear what you went through as a mother and not have empathy for you. Yeah.

Can I say something?

Yeah, of course you can.

I want you to really talk to him and really say how you feel, no matter, don't think about how we feel right now. I want you to express to him how you feel, even if it hurts our feelings right now. If I'm too, I'm told I'm angry a lot and I am.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. The anger is still there.

I'm an angry person too.

I wanna be clear, thank you for admitting about your anger because all of you, we all understand why you would have that anger and I especially understand where that anger's coming from. But I wanna make sure everyone at home knows that I brought this story to bring awareness to your missing daughter. When my producers told me about this, I said no matter what, we have to bring this because I think having a national platform, as we talked about before, is so important. But also, I brought you here because I want you to take the first steps in the grieving process of your missing sister. And you're all in this process together. And did you all realize that? 'Cause it hears, it sounds like I don't think you all realize that you're in this process together.

Yes.

'Cause sometimes it feels like it's isolating.

In our own personal way, alone, but we are together. And I think we do lose sight of that sometimes.

The one, I'm sorry, but who has the most, like, of a better relationship with myself.

Yeah.

Like, I mean, I watch you in smallings. I listen to every single thing you say.

Thank you.

I wouldn't have wrote this show if I genuinely didn't feel like I would be seen and heard. I don't watch TV and feel like I'm watching a real person like I watch you.

Oh, thank you.

Like, you're a real person.

Especially with a person of color.

Yeah, she turned me on to you, and I've been watching you ever since.

Thank you. I'm glad. I appreciate that.

You seem to help people. You care, and I like that about you.

Thank you. I appreciate that. That is my only goal. My only goal is to have people feel heard and have people know that someone does care about them and really genuinely wants to see them be better. And I have to tell you, listening to your stories, The first thing immediately came to mind, which I knew immediately, is you all are still grieving, and I don't think you're grieving properly, and I don't think you've gotten support for grieving. Have any of you gotten actual support for grieving?

No.

It feels like something—

I started going to church though.

Mm-hmm. And I believe in going to church, but I also believe in addition to that, grief counseling is something that's so important.

I've thought of that. Mm-hmm.

So what I wanna do is I wanna first of all set you all up with grief counseling. And the reason this is important for you all to go together, not separately, is because as you, one of you said, I can't remember, you're each at a different stage of grieving. And, but one thing that's underlying is that you're all still angry and all still lost. And that is seeping out against each of you. So each of you, the feelings you're having about this situation that none of you can control, you're trying to control it by lashing out in these moments. Like what happened here? What's saying? And it's all valid, but it also is hurtful. You deserve to have someone who could help you through this moment, help you through grieving. Also with you, with your children, you're grieving your sister, but you also want your children to have their grandmother and you deserve to be happy. You deserve to still have some life here, to enjoy things, to see things you love.

Yeah, I don't enjoy nothing.

I know.

Nothing.

This is why I did the one thing, and I did this on purpose. I asked y'all about Christmas, and I said, what other memories do you have during Christmas? Because a big step in you grieving and also learning how to move forward is to learn how to reframe memories. And so one of the things I want y'all to remember is that as you're talking about Christina, I want you to always drop in a memory of you all. Drop in a memory of what you all can be grateful for. That's good. Because that will start to help you to be in the present. What I want y'all to do is to learn how to cope without giving up hope. Can you say that to your daughters?

I want to cope without giving up hope.

Thank you. But also important right now is that I wanna make sure that we use this national platform to make sure if anyone's watching that we can get information. I want people to see her, to know how important she is, to know how loved she is, to know that she and her life are worth it and valued. By us putting that out there, I want you all to know that your lives and your existence are of value too. And as we put the world now out there to do their thing, I want you all to start doing the work.

Yeah.

Can you do the work to let your daughters to know that you're here with them too?

Yes, I can. Yeah.

So I'll just repeat after me. I'm here.

I'm here.

I'm here. And we are going to cope.

And we are going to cope.

While we have hope.

While we have hope.

Thank you so much for being with me, okay?

Thank you.

I really do love you all. Thank you for sharing your story. All right, if you have any information about the disappearance of Christina Ramirez, please contact the Sacramento Police, or to give an anonymous tip, again, please contact the Sacramento Valley Crime Stoppers at 1-800-AA-CRIME.