I've Been Doing Sex Work For Ten Years With No Family! | KARAMO

I've been doing sex work for 10 years. When I was freshly 18 years old, I was approached by a pimp and he asked me if I wanted to make some money. And that's the day I started doing sex work. It was the only way I could make money to support myself. I felt alone during that time. I felt like I didn't have anyone to really fall back on. I just felt like I didn't care in the moment and I was just trying to survive. And now I'm trying to change my life. And part of that change I'm making is trying to find my father. I grew up with a family with drug addicts, and I was taken away at a young age, and I grew up in the foster care system. We're from the Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia, and if you know about Kensington, then you know it's, it's pretty bad. It's scary. It's like, we call it a zombie land. It's sad. It's dangerous. You can't wear open-toed shoes out there. 'Cause there's needles all over the grounds. Growing up in foster care, I was sexually assaulted multiple times. Sometimes people didn't believe me. They put me in worse positions, which made it easier when I was 18 It made it easier to live the life that I live now. My entire life I was told that my father was dead. I was told a name by my mother, um, and that name was Brian Cleveland. I didn't really know if I could believe what I was being told, so I started to do my own research and I went online looking for Brian and I kept looking B-R-I-A-N, and I looked at that for months. And then one night, I don't know, I had an insomnia thought, I call it, and I was like, you know what, let me look it up a different spelling. When I found his information on an obituary for a different family member, he ended up not being dead. And so I found him and a family member, and they gave me his number to get in contact with him. The first time I spoke with him, we spoke for an hour and a half. I couldn't believe I was talking to my potentially real father for the first time ever. And this just happened 3 weeks ago. I decided immediately to contact the show for DNA testing. And this test means more to me than anything right now in my journey of healing. It's important to me right now more than ever.

Everyone, please help me welcome Jennifer's potential father, Bryan, to the show.

There you go. There you go, man.

Excuse me.

I gotta tell you, I was watching you watch that tape and you were having a visceral reaction. What was going through your mind?

I'm ready to hurt somebody behind what she went through, man. I'm ready to hurt somebody for what she went through. She said she was raped and I wasn't there, man. I didn't have a chance. I'm gonna have a chance now though.

Yeah.

I'm gonna add a chance now though. So I wanted, I need to get with her. I need to get with her immediately.

Did you know about any of the past?

I apologize for this.

No, you don't need to apologize. Not on this show. We appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty and we all can understand what a father would feel like, a potential father hearing that your daughter was going through this.

Yeah, that's too, that's not for me. The person that I am, that would've never happened to her, ever.

My producer was telling me that she's currently, and we heard a little bit on the tape, that she's currently in a shelter. Do you have a plan for her if she is your child?

Absolutely, I got a plan for her if she's my child. Before I leave this studio, I have a house, I have a property. Before I leave this studio, she's gonna get a key to my house. So that she can get to, I don't care, as long as I got a house, she got a house.

Well, I think it's time for you to meet your potential daughter. So everyone help me welcome my baby Jennifer. So everyone please help me welcome Jennifer to the show. This is it.

How you feeling?

Good.

I know. Don't worry. It's going to be good from here. Come on. You want to sit? Whatever you want to sit.

Here you go, Jennifer. How are you?

I'm good.

I'm good, thank you. So you just met Bryan for the first time. How do you feel right now?

I feel good. I feel nervous and relieved.

Yeah.

What were you told about your dad as a child?

I was told that he was dead, honestly.

You were told he was dead.

My family told me he was dead. I was told a name, but then following the name was, "But he's dead." Oh, got it. So it felt like nobody really wanted me to go looking for him.

Got it. And what was the name that you were told?

Brian.

Brian. Okay then. And did you ever have a father figure in your life at all?

I was adopted for a short time when I was 8 years old. My adoptive father passed away and I was put back in foster care.

Got it, I got it.

And how did you find him exactly?

Life's just been hard and I don't have much family and I deal with some insomnia. And so one night it's like 3 or 4 in the morning and I was just on my phone And I was like, I'm gonna look it up one more time. And I did. And I also, I looked it up B-R-I and I told myself, let me try B-R-Y because I've never looked it up like that. And I found an obituary for his mother. And then I found like his name, you know, 'cause it lists the children's names and grandchildren. So I just took that name and ran with it, went to other social media platforms By the morning time, his daughter had friended me on Facebook.

Oh wow.

And so I didn't wanna accept it at first, but then I was like, you know what? No, let me accept it because in this day and age she could think it's drama or anything and I don't wanna give the wrong impression.

Yeah.

So I went ahead and accepted it and sent her a message just really forthcoming and letting her know, or you know, what my intentions were. And she was pretty open.

Oh, that's good. How did you feel when you finally connected with Bryan?

I think I felt shocked. I think I felt shocked and like a no way moment. Like no way.

Yeah, yeah.

But definitely relieved and excited as well.

Yeah.

How has not having a father affected you?

I think it affected me in plenty of ways from childhood to adulthood. Just having a certain, bond with a male figure that I never really had. So when you grow up without that bond, it's easy to create, it's easy to meet negative people or people with poor intentions and to be easily led by those type of people. And I think that having a father sometimes can deter you because that fear in your heart that, "No, my dad can't find out." You know? For what I would assume most kids probably probably feel. So I think that, you know, I never had that fear.

So it was like, yeah, I'm gonna make this right.

We're gonna make this happen. We're gonna make this— I need for her to know that I'm her father.

How does it feel that he has not let go of your hand?

It felt secure.

It feels security. Yeah. So you've been waiting for this moment because it was important for you to find your father. Why?

Because I'm in a moment of like real inner healing in my life right now. I think that sometimes when we talk about healing or we think that we're trying to get through something or we even see therapists, I think that we're just trying to heal from whatever's bothering us at the moment.

Of course.

And I've been through plenty of therapy and I've been through plenty of experiences that I realized my healing went further back and that it was more so of a life healing. What am I actually missing that I can't heal and I can't move forward in life?

Yeah.

So I think that support was one of those things and that support that I don't really find in the family that I grew up with. Yeah, I'm just like, I know I got a dad or something out here.

Does your mother know that you connected with Bryan and that you're here?

No, we don't speak.

You don't speak?

No.

Is she alive?

Assumingly in Kensington somewhere.

Okay then.

Okay, okay. You have your child. Does he know you're here? It's a little boy, right?

Yes, he's— No, he doesn't know I'm here. I'm sure he's woke up. Where's my mom?

Okay.

But yeah, that's my everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's definitely my main focus of just trying to— He needs family. He needs support, he needs people. I never want him to feel how I felt growing up alone. And you know, I'm only one person and I would like to offer him family and people and love.

Bryan, I gotta tell you, you make my heart smile in every way possible. I appreciate it. Your strength, your courage, the fact that you've already stepped in without knowing these answers and told her. That you will be there and that you'll be there for her child. But I think it's time to solve this 27-year-old DNA mystery. We don't need to wait a minute longer.

This can be for you.

Take my hand, Jennifer. All right, here we go. Jennifer, you've waited 27 years. You were told that your father was not alive, and then with your own research, You found Bryan. In this envelope is the DNA truth that you've been waiting for. It's not my truth to open, it is yours. So take your time and open it when you'd like.

Take your time. Take your time. I'mma step back so it gives you some room.

Jennifer, Bryan is not your biological father.

What?

You keep everything about me and I'm gonna help you from here the rest of the way out. You let me know what you want me to do. You let me know what you wanna do exactly, and we gonna do it to the T, okay? All right, come on. I'm gonna stay here with you. Come on.

Jennifer, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Brian, you said something earlier that I wrote down. You said that you used to go to her cousin's house, her mother's cousin's house.

Yeah.

Do you remember that cousin's name?

Yeah, I know her name, yeah, and everything.

Is this a cousin that you might know? You do?

Yeah, I've spoke with her.

And the reason I'm asking that is because it's about, you deserve answers and you deserve to get to know who your father is. And it's unfortunate that this wasn't it. But if we can find answers through that cousin or through anyone else that was around during that time, it could help. Do you think that cousin'd be willing to give you some answers and support?

It has to be that guy right after, that was at the table.

I was gonna ask you that 'cause you said there was someone at the table as well. It has to be. Do you know him? Nah, but— Yeah, but maybe the cousin might?

Nope. Well, I know she's gonna be okay.

Yeah.

That's what we gonna do. We gonna make sure she gets straight. We gonna make sure that you get straight. I know that's painful. I know that's painful, but I'm gonna help you work through this. I promise you.

Jennifer, I do believe that Brian is gonna help you. And I wanna let you know that I'm gonna support you as well. 'Cause you just said that you haven't had figures in your life. So I'm gonna make sure that we give you some extra money so that you can leave this stage to be able to like support yourself with the shelter, support yourself with making some memories with your son.

Can I just say, I don't mean to do anything, but I don't know what I have in my wallet, but you can have whatever's in my wallet as well. Have everything in my wallet as well. I got stuff at home. I'm gonna be here for you. I got a plan. That we can work out. Listen, listen, listen. I want you to know this though too, okay? And I want you to know this so people know this. Remember what I said I needed to do and I wanted to do is set up the trust. So I want to do that still. And I'm going to do that and I'm just going to have it run into there, but I'm going to have to place you in control of it. Okay?

Listen, we got you. That is very amazing of you to wanna do a trust for her son. Jennifer, I know that there's, you have to process this right now. What I wanna do is offer you in this moment the support to help you find who your father is. We have tons of resources here and if we can get any information, if you allow us to talk to that cousin, we can find, so you don't have to be up at 4 o'clock in the morning searching and digging, we can dig, we can We can go through every name possible, use every resource possible. Is that something you'd want?

Yeah? All right.

We're gonna be there. All right. Bryan, thank you for being here and for your kindness. All right, everyone. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all.