I've Known Her For 20 Year But Is She My Sister?! | KARAMO

My birth mom lost custody of me when I was a very young baby, and I was adopted by another woman. Over 20 years ago, I started looking for my biological family. I was working at the circuit court at the time, so I had access to my adoption records, which led me to finding my birth mom. Let's say that when I was at the office and I found my adoption records, it was very exciting. It's like I wanted to run through the office at first. It's just like, I found it. Wow, I found it. After that, I met my birth mom and we developed a relationship. She told me the name of my biological father. He refused to speak to me. So it was painful for a long time. I then reached out to my father's daughter, Tiffany. So even though my father denied me, she fully accepted me as her sister. I love my sister. I need this DNA test to prove to all the naysayers that once and for all, I am my father's daughter.

We'll talk to Yvette shortly, but first everyone please help me welcome her potential sister Tiffany to the show. Hi Tiffany, thank you for being here. Hi, thank you. I'll tell you one thing Yvette said is right, you are sweet as pie. I felt just paired the minute you walked out. You are so kind and lovely.

Thank you.

You're welcome. So how did you first find out about Yvette?

20 years ago, Yvette reached out to me via Facebook.

Yes.

Left me her phone number and asked me to contact her because she believed she was my sister.

Mm-hmm.

I was hesitant at first because I asked my father about it and he had denied it. However, I did reach out to Yvette and Yvette and I started a conversation. Started talking. Got together, met her family, met her children, and kind of felt pretty good with her.

Yeah. Yeah. So what made you believe her?

One was she named my father, gave me the full name.

Got it.

Second was she mentioned my mother. So that put me like, maybe.

Yeah, 'cause you got details.

Right, now you giving me my mother, you know, okay, that makes me, made me wanna question it a little bit more.

So I did.

Got it, got it. Had your father ever mentioned that you potentially had a sister?

Absolutely not. I was raised by my stepfather and my mother. My father left me when I was 2. He joined the military. And so we had no contact until I was 23. And him and I met in '98. And when I met him, the first thing I asked him was, did I have any siblings? He said no. I left it alone.

Yeah, of course. Did you have a good relationship with your father?

Not until—

biological father?

My biological father and I developed a relationship after we got reunited at 23, when I was 23 years old. Then we developed a relationship.

And has it been good since then?

It was good until he passed away in 2016.

Got it. Okay. In 2016 he passed away. I'm so sorry. What did your father have to say about Yvette?

Nothing at all. He denied her totally. He did not want anything to do with her. She even wanted to communicate with him. He did not want to talk to her. However, I did mention her mom's name. He knew her mom, but he did not want to have any dealings with Yvette.

Wow.

What did he say why?

No, never just told me why. He just said, "I don't want anything to do with you." It kind of made him angry. When I mentioned her mom's name. So I don't know the dynamic of their relationship. However, I know it's something behind that.

Of course.

Which kind of made me think, okay, yeah, that might be my sister. You just don't want to have anything to do with it.

Yeah, you just don't want to own up to it.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. Did he ever agree to take a DNA test before he died?

He denied it.

He denied it.

Absolutely, out flat denied it. He did not want to take a DNA test. I asked him to take one and he said no.

Wow. I mean, I know you don't know, it's just surprising that if you're in her life and you're saying, "I accept her as my sister," and you're like, "I'll help you get the DNA test," I'm surprised that he just wouldn't want to get that closure for himself. And to your point, there had to been something else going on.

Absolutely. I don't understand why.

Yeah.

And I asked him.

Yeah.

Why wouldn't you want to know?

Yeah. And nothing.

Nothing.

So you do believe that Yvette is your sister?

I do, but I also have some concerns.

Okay, what are the concerns?

The concerns are because me and my father, we have the same personality. We have the same features, round face, toes are the same, fingers are the same. We even have the same zodiac sign.

Yeah.

You know, so it's like, ah, you know. But Yvette sent me a picture of herself over the summer of my father.

Yeah.

And they count a favor. And I said, hmm. Yeah.

But you've been in Yvette's life now for 20 years.

20-plus years.

20-plus years.

Yes.

So this is not something where it's like, oh, we just met recently and I'm not sure. This has been your sister. Yes. Even through your father denying her, you have accepted her and loved her.

Absolutely. When we contact each other, like, hey sis, what's up?

Yeah.

Okay. Makes sense.

When was the last time you saw each other?

Oh wow. It's been 10-plus years since we've seen each other.

Okay.

However, we did do FaceTime, but physically seeing each other, it's been 10+ years.

Got it, got it. Well, I think it's time to hear what your sister Yvette has to say, or your potential sister has to say about all of this. So please welcome Yvette to the show.

I love you, girl. You too.

You bet. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. Take a seat for me. There you go. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you being here. So I gotta first ask you, 'cause I can see that you, it's very emotional seeing each other after 10 years. Hearing backstage now for the first time, did you know that Tiffany had some concerns, some doubts?

I kind of figured she did.

Yeah.

'Cause I did too. I'm a little nervous. Yeah. About it.

Yeah. So why are you so sure that Tiffany is your sister from your point of view?

What do you trust? I trust what my mom said first.

Yeah.

And then it's like just the connection.

Yeah, the connection y'all had.

I believe it.

20 years of a connection. So when your mom told you that he was your father, she didn't say any other names? She said this?

That's it.

That's it. Okay then. And how does it feel knowing that your father never claimed you?

It hurt. It hurts a lot.

Yeah.

Because I'm basically a daddy's girl, so it hurts a lot.

Yeah. How many times did you— I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But I know how you feel. Growing up without him, it was challenging. I was— I'm a daddy's girl too.

Yeah.

So you think, well, your daddy don't like you. Your daddy don't want you.

Yeah.

But I can tell you, when he passed, I went to his home. And to go in his home, he had his own little space in his room. That he kept pictures of me and my children. Even when I was a little girl, that tore me up, you know, 'cause I always thought that he didn't care.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah.

So I get what you're saying. I know how you feel.

Yeah. How many times did you try to reach out to your father when he was alive?

Maybe like 3 or 4 times. And each time that I reached out, it hurt more and more because of the rejection. There was a cousin on my dad's side.

Yeah.

And I reached out to her and I stood in her living room when she called him and tried to get us on the phone. I could literally hear him say out of his mouth, "She's not mine." Yeah.

Yes.

"No, don't put her on the phone. No, absolutely not." Oh wow. You know, and there was his dad passed. And she invited him to the funeral. She sent for tickets and everything. And I believe he came into town and didn't even tell her he was here. So I figured he was trying to avoid me. And that's the feelings that I had.

Of course, of course. Yeah, and those feelings are valid, especially after hearing that. Did you talk to your birth mother about all this?

I did, I did. And it hurt her a lot because she was tired of the rejection. 'Cause she was so sure. And so I'm like, well, if she's sure, I'm sure.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Why would you not be? If she's telling you every single day like that's your father, then you're gonna have to believe her. Mm-hmm. So how was Tiffany when you first reached out to her?

Just as beautiful as you see her.

Yes.

Inside and out. This is my girl.

Yeah, yeah.

It's my sister. It's like for me, I don't, I don't, I mean, I know we want the truth and the results and everything, but no matter what, this is my sister.

We are sisters.

We are sisters.

And you developed a relationship right away?

Right away.

Right away.

Yeah, I can see the bond.

Right away.

So why did you want this DNA test? 'Cause it's been 20 years that y'all been together and you're like, you're comfortable.

Right, 'cause it's not for us, it's for all the naysayers, all the ones that say, "No, that's not your biological sister. No, not at all." It's for them, it's not for us. We're good.

Yeah, you're good. Yeah. Well, Yvette, are you ready for the truth?

Am I ready? No, but let's do it.

Come with me. So Yvette, in this envelope is the truth that you have been waiting for. This truth has been something that you found out, you've been wanting to know, and then you unfortunately were denied by your father. This journey, even through it, you've had your sister. She's been by your side, but you're saying now this is for everybody else to make sure that they know the truth. This is your truth to open, not mine. So here you go.

You got this, sis. Go ahead and do it.

Okay.

Let's let the world know.

Okay. So before I open this, this is for everybody that says that this is not my biological sister. Sister?

Okay. You okay?

What does it say?

It says Yvette Tiffany is not your biological sister. I'm your sister, baby. I love you, girl. Always will. Always will. You my big sister. I love you. I love you, girl.

We sisters, baby.

I love you.

We got this. We got this. We still planning our trips. We will. Love you, girl.

Love you, girl.

Well, you always have family long as I'm breathing. You always got a sister and nephews and great nephews and nieces. So you're good. You're not alone and you never will be alone. As long as I got breath, you with me.

We don't know why things happen. We don't understand why, but maybe your mother gave you that name, gave you that name of your father so that this bond could happen. You know?

Yeah.

Because what I know, what I know in my own life, being especially, you know, just being part of the LGBT community is that sometimes your family is the people you choose. Yeah. The people that you decide is family. I'm gonna love, they gonna love me, we're gonna respect each other. You needed to make that choice. You two needed to meet so that you could have each other, be there for each other for 20 years and beyond. Because I know this is not going anywhere.

Oh, absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

So though I know you'll have to grieve and I know you'll have to release and that will take time, I want you to hold onto the fact that there was a bigger, there was a bigger piece to this. There was a reason for this, at least for this relationship. And y'all need to do the work.