Karamo And His Son Share Warning Signs Of Addiction | KARAMO

All right, hey friend. So on today's show, my son Jason and I spoke candidly about our past addictions and how they impacted our relationship. But I wanted to continue the conversation here on social platforms. So if you think someone you love is addicted, I hope these conversations truly help you to help them get on the road to recovery. Because it is a long road, but it is a road that leads to success.

The first year, I would say, when I got out, I was a little ashamed. You know, when you think of rehab, you think of addiction, you get a negative connotation to it. So I definitely didn't want to tell anybody about that stuff. But nowadays, it helped me out. I'm better, you know?

Yeah. You know, that's an important thing for everyone at home to realize is that that stigma and that shame is what stops a lot of people from being honest with people in their lives about what they're going through or the help that they need. Because honestly, we all have to reflect on our own actions. And if someone comes up to you and says, oh, I'm addicted, is your first response a supportive response or is your first response a judgment response? Because I think if you can understand how you respond, not only just about addiction, just in life, period, it will help people to feel more comfortable about talking to you. Were there any signs or cries for help that you think maybe I missed?

I did not want you, the family, to know about my addiction. So I would, if there was any signs, I didn't want you to see them, so.

Yeah. And let me tell you something.

And that might be a sign.

Oh, you know what?

That might be a sign within itself.

Come on, profound. There is something about that. Like maybe there's something about when your children you can see that they're not being as open or forthright. Maybe that's the sign you need to say something they're hiding, but your behavior didn't change because I didn't see a behavior change. Yes, I saw depression, but I didn't see a behavior change. You know, I'm glad you said that. I'm going to think about that and like really contemplate that because there's something within when there's not a sign, maybe there is a sign. Meaning like when things just seem as if they're going too well, that's it. That's exactly what I was thinking. Maybe when things are going too well, Maybe that's the moment when you have to sort of check in and say, hold on, let's look at all areas and not just do a deeper dive. So I want to know, when did you know that it was clear to you that you had an addiction?

The second time I started doing drugs, and I just, I just could feel that physical, like, I need it again, that sensation, that mental obsession, as they would say. I had that mental obsession. That's when I knew I was hooked.

I, in my 20s, I was heavy on the party scene, weed, cocaine, ecstasy, molly. It was my thing. And so for me, I knew what it looked like because all my friends were doing it. So that's why it was just a shock to me that I couldn't see it in my own son. And so it was like, how did I miss this? Like, I could see it in strangers, I can see it in clients I help, but I didn't see it in my own son. And so when you talk about your own addiction right there, It's interesting that you said the second time you noticed it was a problem. For me, I didn't think it was a problem for a very long time because it was attached to being social. You understood that there was addiction earlier. Yeah. It took me more years because I was like, we're just young and at the club, we're at a party. It's not like we're, you know, waking up in the morning because I think media, they make it seem like Addiction is a problem when you can't get off the couch and like there's 4 bottles in front of you and lines of coke that you didn't use. It took me longer because of those images to say I have a problem. So it's interesting.

Now, Dad, do you think because we both had an addiction, is it in our DNA? Like, is it a generational thing that's in us now?

To be very honest with you, I think that there's cases where You know, people have trauma, they have other things that happen within their lives, stressors, they're in the wrong environment that may lead them to have an addiction and it may be an isolated situation in a family. But I do think that there is a large group of people who, if they witness addiction in their families, it does become, not more so in your DNA, but it does get sort of imprinted in your mind that this is a way to handle life. And I do think for us, it was passed down. So your great-grandfather Aaron, who's your grandfather's father, had addiction issues. Your grandfather, as you know, I had it, and for you. And so that's why it was a shock for me that I didn't catch it because I was aware from training that these are things to look out for. And as you know, I've always tried to work with you to break generational curses. So one of the things I don't know is that Jason is the first man in 5 generations in our family not to have a child before the age of 16. They thought that I was going to be the first one because I'm gay, and they was like, no girl, it's not happening. And then surprise, uh, 15 years old, right before that 16 mark, I was like, nope, nope, we going to do it. Um, but for some reason, I still I still assumed that it wouldn't go to you because you were just such a bright angel. Bright light angel. No, seriously, you were. I have another son that is his brother that got in a lot of trouble. And I think this is something else that people should like really pay attention to. If you have multiple kids, sometimes it's easy to put somebody into a category and say this person is this. And so it doesn't allow you to see when they're sad, when they're depressed, when they're having anxiety, when there's an addiction, when there's something else going on because you've already put them in the category of they can handle this, they're strong, they're the sweet one, they're the one that doesn't need any attention. And I think, if I'm really being honest with myself, I think part of that is why I missed it with you is because I was like, Jason got this, Jason can handle this, Jason doesn't do anything bad, Jason not, oh my gosh, Jason's like me, he got this together. And so I think in that instance, I didn't allow you to be human. And I just put you in a box instead of allowing you to just be your holistic self and for me to look at you holistically instead of only looking at you as very monolithic a certain way. So everyone, I want to go ahead and give you just a couple of signs that you can look for to see if your, the loved ones or the people in your life have addiction. One of the things is isolation. Isolation is a big sign that addiction could be happening in someone's life. And it's basically because when people are addicted to a drug, there's usually a shame attached to it. And so they don't want other people to see what's going on, whether it's coworkers, family members, they don't want it. For them to see that their face or their body is changing. And so when you see people stop calling, stop coming around, it doesn't mean that the addiction is happening, but it does mean there's a sign that something is going on. You can also look at erratic behavior. That's the second sign. So if someone is erratic in the way they're talking to you, and this is not the norm of the pattern of how they talked, whether it's like usually they're a calm person and now they're like always like on edge, or if they were usually on edge and now they're like mellowed out all the time, those extremes in personalities is a good way for you to say, You know what? There could be some sort of addiction happening there. You can also look at finances. Finance is a really big thing. If someone all of a sudden is not able to pay bills when they were able to maintain them before, they're not able to keep their job before, finances are a good sign that maybe their money is going to something else, or maybe their behavior has changed so much that they're not able to maintain the responsibilities in their life. Also, a big sign is to think about what you're doing and what boxes you're putting people in your life. Do you have children that you're like, they're the strong one, this is the good one. And then another one you're saying, this is the bad one. And so therefore you're not paying attention to the person that you think is a good one, the strong one. You're not checking in on them. And I think that's work for you to do because I think all, most of this conversation has been like, look at them, look at them. But I think it's important to self-reflect. Look at us too. What are you doing? How are you responding? Are you creating an atmosphere for people to be able to be comfortable? Or have you established something where people just know, oh, they're going to judge me. Right? What do you think? Any other tips?

You just kind of nailed it. I hit the head on the nail.

That's what I do for a living.

Well, good job, son.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. Of course, Dad. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Well, listen, everyone, 20 million Americans struggle with addiction each year in our country. And if you fear a family member may be having a problem, you're not alone. If me and my family, my son, can overcome our addictions, believe me, you can too. So you just have to acknowledge what's going on, Be supportive, not judgmental, and then most importantly, reach out for help. And with that being said, for more information, please see the links below for where to get help. We love you all. Come back next time so we can keep talking and growing. All right, friends. Peace.