Karamo, Help My Toxic Family In Crisis! | KARAMO

This story is about 4 siblings who are suffering from the past and desperate for a brighter future. One of the siblings named Coach called our show because he fears if someone doesn't step forward, their family bond will be broken forever. Everyone, please welcome Coach to the show. Hey Coach. How you doing? How you doing? I heard y'all Haitian.

Yes.

We're not gonna go too far. Coach, okay, so you call the show. Tell me, how did you all grow up?

So ever since I was a child, all the kids were close. Me and my siblings were very close, but we grew up in a house where the parents weren't really supportive. Our father wasn't there for a big part of it. We all grew up together, we grew up close because we knew it was sort of like us against the parents. And then finally when we met up with my dad, because for the longest he was staying with another woman, when we met up with my dad and we started living with him, we find out he had another kid. And so, but you know, the whole thing didn't bother us. It's okay, we'll welcome, we're not gonna treat the other kid any different, but But it was hard. It was hard, yeah. He was very abusive. His words, you know, he would call us pieces of shit. He didn't really care.

Do your siblings have your back when it comes to all of this?

King, yes. Sean, no, not so much.

Okay.

Yeah.

Why is Sean different from the rest of you, do you believe?

You know, I feel like a big part of it is because he was the oldest. It plays a part, you know. He grew up a little closer to him than we did.

Um, sort of cultural expectations as well with the oldest.

Same.

Yeah, you know, we, you know, growing up, we— me and King and KD had that chance to like, you know, form into who we wanted to be. But Sean was the oldest, so it kind of like, you know, this is how it needs to be, that type of lifestyle.

So does KD still live there?

Yeah, she still lives there, man. I mean, yeah, she still lives there. And, you know, I can't take her to like a job interview because she's so shy. Because they want her to stay in. She can't leave the house. She can't hang out with friends.

And who's they? That's your father?

My father, yes.

And is Sean as well? Does he always want her to stay in the house as well?

Sean believed the same thing, yeah.

That she should stay in the house. And why are they wanting her in the house?

She has to watch over my younger brother. They feel like it's her job, you know? And she has a life. She gotta live her life and everything is holding her down.

How were you able to get her on the show today?

I called KD. I told KD about the thing, about everything. And I'm like, this is a chance for us to get together. So I want you to have a conversation with mom. I want you to have a conversation with Dad. Let them know that all of us needs to sit down and we need to talk together. My dad wasn't for it. That's why he didn't wanna be here. But, you know, here we are.

But your mom was willing.

My mom was willing, yep.

Oh, okay.

So Coach wants to start the journey towards helping his 3 siblings heal. And that road first leads to the older brother, Sean. So everyone please welcome Sean to the show. Hey Sean, how you doing?

Hey, I'm fine. How you doing?

Welcome to the show.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. I like this jacket.

Oh, thank you.

So Sean, I wanna ask you really quickly, do you think it was right that your brother called the cops on your father?

It was not the right thing to do in my opinion.

Yeah.

You know, 'cause the way we do things is like, me personally, It's not the right thing to do because it's like you're doing something that's in the favor of you, you know what I mean? But you're not thinking about the other ones.

I am thinking of the other ones. That's why I called the cops.

No, actually—

I was looking at my sister.

Actually, actually, here's the reality. Okay, my sister was 17. I get it, she's a minor, okay? And my father was making the most income. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So the way I look at it is like patience. Yes, we needed to talk to him. Let me speak to him. I was telling these guys, "Hey, be patient. Let me talk to my father about this whole situation, how to like talk to the people, you know, the children and stuff, how to like, I would say, how to raise them." You know what I mean? Give me the time to, you know, speak to him. 'Cause I'm the oldest one, right?

Yeah.

That doesn't give you the right reason to just call the cops out of nowhere just because he have done something. You don't give me a chance to speak to him. You know what I mean?

There's 4 siblings in crisis hoping today will be the beginning of a new and peaceful future for all of them. We've talked to Coach and Sean, and now I'd like to speak to the brother in the middle of all of this. Please welcome King to the show. Hey, how are you?

Hi, thank you for having me.

Thank you for being here. All right, so King, what do you think about Sean's behavior?

Well, I think honestly Sean just described everything that is wrong with society today.

Okay.

And I personally think since I've known him, everything he's done is because he's selfish and it all goes back to what he wants, what helps him. And being that I'm the second sibling, I had to step up and take up his role and do his job while doing it and while having my dad kick me. He was also kicking me on the side. And it wasn't just abuse from parents, but not only was I doing the job that he was too coward to do, but I was taking abuse from him as a sibling. You need to grow up. And it didn't help.

King, I wanna know from you, how do you feel like this is affecting your family? How did being in this family affect you is a more important question for me.

It destroyed my mental health. Okay. And the reason it hurts me most when I found out with everything that happened with KD is because my main goal, knowing how much I took from the abuse at home, my main goal was to make sure the ones that came after me didn't have to go through so much. And it was not easy to do so because the one that came before me was doing the opposite of that.

King, just let me ask you this. So you actually were homeless for a little bit. You had to live outta your car or something of that nature?

Yes, I did. And it was more than one time.

And why was that?

Honestly, a lot of it I will say is because I would rather suffer outside wherever life took me than to spend another second in that house.

You made a face there. What was the face for? Because you also said that you left because of the pressure.

Yes.

So he's telling you this almost identical.

Because nobody understand me, both parents and those two. Well, those three of my siblings.

They don't understand what you've been through.

They didn't understand. While they're having their family drama, they don't understand. Here goes the parents, they don't understand me. I'm trying to put them together and stuff, you know, trying to like set peace in the family. They feel like I was taking sides, both of them. All it takes is patience, just be patient. You're not ready for out there right now, just wait for you.

When he's saying patience, what do y'all think he's saying?

It's aggravating when he says patience because I always say it's one thing to say I'm going to be a doctor, I'll be patient, I'll go through the process. It's another thing to say I'm going to be patient in an abusive relationship because you don't know where your patience ends. There's no patience with abuse. It's either someone dies unexpectedly or someone managed to get out when they can.

So you saying that he hated you?

I'm saying that he hated me and you didn't make it better.

I didn't make it better. I didn't make it better.

King, what is your relationship like with Katie?

I love Katie. And honestly, I think I felt, I still feel guilty today by how much she took being at her age. She did not deserve any of it.

And she's still in the house.

And she's still in the house.

Got it.

And Katie will suffer more because she's younger. And with all of this being said, This one didn't help.

Look, this one didn't help. What did you do to help?

What did I do to help? Aside from the fact that we got him arrested and you got him out?

I got him out.

Why?

If you didn't help him out, you would've let him go.

No, no, no, listen.

I'm gonna get to him.

Let me get to him.

Because of his income.

Now you're just pissing me off. Listen, you're just pissing me off. Hold on. Let me get to him. He does not understand. 'Cause you know what you're doing? You give your friends more and more love than your family. Like he's fucked up. Listen, sorry, I'm so sorry, but he only cares about his friends. Do you ever show me love?

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. Just be quiet. Let me talk to him.

Yeah, does he show you love? You asked him, does he ever show you love? Does he show you love? Do you show him love?

Look.

'Cause I'm wondering, were y'all close at one point? Did you ever show him love?

No, at one point we were close and then Growing up in school, I was always being called names. And then when I get back home, my older brother was also calling me names. How? That destroyed that relationship. But aside from that fact—

How was I calling you?

He said I should— We were young, we were kids, you know what I mean?

Of course we were immature. We were.

You were.

We were.

You were.

Okay.

Okay, he's talking about when we were 13, 12 years old. That's what he was talking about.

I hear you, I hear you. The reason y'all see me quiet here and y'all see me taking a whole bunch of notes is because I really do see where this pain is going, where this pain has started. I see a lot of this and I also can see how we can fix this. But before I can do that, we've heard from Coach Sean and King about the pain and dysfunction they endured in their home. But what about the only female sibling, Katie? I wanna talk to her now. So please welcome Katie to the show. Hey, Katie, how are you doing? Hi, Karamo. Welcome to the show. Let me give you a hug. Nice to meet you. Take a seat. Um, Katie, how does it make you feel? How does it make you feel that these two brothers right here are fighting for you? All three of your brothers, that your brothers are fighting for you? I'm not gonna single you out right now 'cause I'm still learning the story.

I have so many emotions. Like one part I'm like, they're doing it 'cause they care. But on the other part, I'm like hurt 'cause it's like all 3 guys that I love, even if they drive me crazy at times, they're going to like fight for me. It's kind of toxic and sometimes it makes me cry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Which of your brothers do you still talk to?

King and Coach.

Mm-hmm.

I purposely, Avoid him on purpose. I don't want to talk to Sean.

The three of you, can you do me a favor really quickly? Yeah. Can you take a step backstage for me?

Yes. Yeah.

Sean, can you come down here?

Yes.

I asked your siblings to leave the stage because I want to have a productive conversation with you right now. Yes. What I was listening to you, If you notice, there was no judgment coming out.

Yes.

It's very easy for people to judge where you're at and the things you have done. What people forget is that when you're a child and you receive a certain type of abuse or behavior, it becomes learned behavior that you then pass on and think that it's okay. Yeah. You are in a situation where you had to escape, so you know something is wrong. You know the pressure was wrong. You know that you had to leave because something wasn't good.

Yes.

It was hard for you when you got hit.

Super hard.

What did it make you feel like every time you would get hit? Did you feel alone?

Everything was just messed up. I feel like, yeah, I felt like it was hard on me, the pressure and—

Did you think that you deserved it?

No, I didn't deserve it.

What did you deserve? Tell me.

I wanted a family, a father who knows how to give chances. I understand sometimes you gotta discipline your children, but come on, with no chances? With no first chances? Hey, here's a second chance, or even a third chance. Let's sit down, let me talk to you. Hey, you did something, I didn't appreciate it, you know what I mean? Just don't do it again. You know, next time, you know, there's gonna be consequences.

Makes sense now. Yeah. The father that you wanted was a father that would give you chances because in your mind you were a kid that you're like, if you just gimme a chance, I'll show you, don't hit me. So that's why we hear this language of patience because he thinks that he's being patient in giving his siblings a chance.

Yeah.

And I see all of that confusion in when you're talking to your sibling 'cause you're saying to them like, I love you, I wanna be there for you, but I just, I just, I just, why don't you see it from my point of view? I'm seeing your point of view is what I'm trying to let you see. But what I need you to do for me right now is to take it one step further and see your siblings' point of view. Your siblings are telling you that they understand that you had to do stuff, but the abuse should have stopped with you, but now they're wanting it to stop for them. So when your family comes out here, you can say that to them. Can you do that?

You wanna talk to your siblings? Yes. I have no issue with Coach.

I know.

I'm sorry. You did the right thing. Although sometimes I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but I'm actually doing the wrong thing. So I'm sorry, truly.

I do love you.

And we were close. And as for Katie, I thought I was giving you tough love, but it was not the right way. Truly, truly sorry, okay? Sorry I wasn't there, okay? I thought I was doing the right thing. Just accept my apology whenever you think about it, that's all, okay? Sorry. As for you, King, me and King got into it yesterday.

Yeah, I can see his body language.

We did, 'cause I was trying to get close to him, you know what I mean? I'm trying to be his friend and be cool with him. Believe it or not, I care so much about you. I really do.

All of y'all were affected by a man who didn't love y'all right. That language of tough love came from his father. That's not his language. So let me give you the new language as I close this up. When it comes to love, it's never tough. Love is just love. If you ever have to give toughness with love, then there's a problem there.

I like that.

That's where I stood before. And that's where you gotta stay in now. So when you see something happening with your sister, if you're like, oh, this is the tough love she got, She doesn't deserve tough love, she just deserves love. So anything that's making it tough needs to be removed. And as siblings, that's your job, to remove the toughness and just make it love. And I believe y'all can do that for each other. You understand? Can y'all give your brother a hug? Y'all gonna be all right, you good. Thank you. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.

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