Karamo Helps Mother & Daughter In Distress | KARAMO

When it came to the parent-child dynamics, I was raised in an era that said you must always respect your parents no matter how old you are. I was taught to honor thy mother and father and always respect your elders. These were key ideologies that I had no choice but to follow or there would have been consequences and y'all know what type of consequences I'm talking about. Today though, many people feel that parents must earn respect and not just be given it. Latrice is a mother and a grandmother who believes that her daughter's violent and reckless behavior is breaking her family apart. Latrice says she is met with disrespect and she is tired of it. Everyone, please help me welcome Latrice. How you doing?

Okay, are you okay?

You travel a lot?

Yes.

Nice to meet you. Nice to see you. Thank you for being here, Latrice.

You're welcome.

Thank you for having me.

So I wanna start off right now. There's tension between you and your daughter. When did that start?

Well, Karamo, I really need your help really bad with this girl. She is just, she's working my nerves. Like, she really hurt my feelings a lot all the time. Like, I'm just tired of her. And it first started when she turned 18. I don't know, she just flipped. She just was a whole different person, a person I didn't even recognize.

Wow, what do you mean when you say she's reckless though?

Reckless 'cause her mouth. She like called me, when she turned 18, she was calling me names like bees, I don't wanna say.

Oh yeah, okay, she called you the B word?

Yep, and telling me I was a bum and I was broke.

You are her mother and she's calling you the B word and telling you that you are broke and other things?

And a bum.

What? How old were you when you had your daughter?

15.

15. What was that like for you?

Horrible.

Mm-hmm, why?

Family, be bit young. That's why.

Did your family support you?

I guess you could say that. I guess you could say that to a degree. We didn't like neglect all the way, but yeah, to a degree.

There's still some pain there.

A lot.

Yeah, I can see it. What's causing that pain from back then?

Just being neglected from my mom, my dad, and then family altogether. And now my daughter, she wanna do the same thing.

So what happens when you try to talk to Kysha about her behavior?

Well, the last time she just had left and went to Appleton without even telling me and took my grandbabies too. So I didn't even get a chance to see my last grandbaby when she was born. I didn't see her till after a year.

Wow, okay.

So she was like, when she come back, "Oh Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I treated you like that." And I'm like, "Kysha, it's okay. I just wanna make it better now. I don't wanna keep dwelling on our past." because that's not gonna fix anything.

When's the last time you saw Kyeshia?

About a month ago when she claimed she was finna go to the school board and then didn't come back for 5 days. So I was calling her trying to find out is she okay and did she take no change of clothes for the girls? And I'm like, okay, well you didn't take no change of clothes. She's like, oh well, Mama bought new clothes. I'm like, why would you buy new clothes when they have new clothes here? Why are you wasting money and stuff like that? Oh Mom, I'm not wasting money. And I'm like, okay, Kyeshia, you know, No, that's fine.

Yeah.

But when you coming back? We just out here having fun. Having fun for 5 days with no coming home, changing clothes, washing them girls' butt.

Where are y'all?

Yeah.

Where are you at? Where you at with my grandbabies?

Understandable. So these are young children.

Yeah, little girls.

I understand. Listen, I love hearing your side of the story because it gives me a lot of perspective, especially you asking me for help. But now I need to talk to your daughter, Kyeshia. Kaisha, come on out, please. Hi, Karamo. Thank you for being on my show. Please take a seat. Kaisha, so I can see that you don't wanna sit next to your mother. Why not?

'Cause everything she's saying back there is a lie. You don't listen to me, you block me out. You cut me out your life and you called CPS on me. I have not ran to you beginning when the CPS got called on me 'cause of the schools. And that's what you don't get. They called 'cause my child had eczema and I have not ran to you. A couple times you put your hands on me for no apparent reason. A lot of times.

Kyeshia, I wanna know because you just said a lot right there that is shocking me right now. So you're, what happened between y'all? You're saying that your mother called CPS on you and your child?

My mama have done a lot.

I ain't called no CPS, but that's what she said.

They said no, I left Friday. I did go do what I had to do for my child. That was with my friend, and my friend bought my clothes for my child and me. We washed our butts, but as she's sitting here lying on TV, brought me on here for what?

She's a compulsive liar.

I'm not a compulsive liar, you are.

Yeah, whatever.

That's all you do. You don't listen to me.

You're right, Kiesha, you're right.

You break me out, you block me out.

You're right, Kiesha, you're right. You told me right.

You said I don't care for you. I care for you more than anybody. You took money from me.

I'm just telling you right now today.

You took me—

You don't give me no respect as of today, like I told you before, it's over. I don't want nothing else to do with you.

You can take your kids and go.

Y'all can just go. 'Cause I don't wanna deal with it no more. I'm done, I'm totally done.

Latrice, I wanna know why does Kiesha think that you stole her money?

I don't know what kind of money I'm supposed to stole from her.

I gave you $3,000.

You gave. Get it right. Gave. No. Something that you owed me.

I don't owe you nothing.

You stayed with me over a year for free.

And I don't owe you a penny.

You didn't pay for no food, no nothing.

My whole life.

Your whole life?

You told me out your mouth that I owe you since a child.

I never told you that. Yes, you have. No, I did not.

Yes, you have.

I should've never came to the show with this girl. I swear I should've just stayed at home, 'cause this is ridiculous.

You called this show.

You came on the right place, because I wanna be able to support you all. I wanna know, Kyeshia, from you. You said 3 weeks ago you moved out. I wanna know what happened.

I didn't move out, she kicked me out.

That's a lie.

That's not a lie. I got the messages. You wanna see 'em?

I never told you you had to leave.

Yes, you did.

I never said.

You told me you could come get your stuff and go.

Yes, I told you you could come and get your stuff because you was leaving.

That's not the point. I don't have to tell you what I got to do.

Okay, you right. You don't gotta tell me nothing. You right, you can stay at my house and tell me nothing. You totally right. You right. You can stay with me, you can do whatever you like. You don't have to tell me anything.

Kyeshia, I wanna know something. Is this the message you said that's from your mother? It says, "I'm not your mother. I don't want to be your mom and I will not claim you." What could possibly make a mother say that to their child, Latrice?

She been saying that her whole life.

Because that's how she is. She's a liar.

No, you are.

Well, I'm just asking you and understand, like, I'm not making, there's no bad guy right here for me right now. So I wanna make sure that's clear. I'm just trying to understand. I'm reading a message where you said, "I can't take this no more." Hold on, I'm seeing another one that says you called her, Kaiesha, a dummy and a stupid B-word. And the thing, you know, I'm looking at the messages.

This was after she done already done sent a voicemail to my daughter's phone, Latrice's phone, and said that if I left, oh well, I don't have to come back if I don't want to.

She's still lying, bro. She's still lying, bro. This is my thing right here. Latrice, did you really text your daughter the B word, I hope you die a slow death?

I did because of what she had been saying.

Oh Lord, I never said nothing like to you. I never wished you dead ever.

My life. Her side of the story is not all true.

Listen, no matter what pain we're in and no matter what we're going through, I can't imagine what would bring you to say to your child you wish they die a slow death.

Because she has done that to me on several, she called the police on me. I don't know how many times, tried to send me to jail.

Danger, danger, danger. Kyesha, why do you think your mother sent those texts?

I wasn't supposed to be around my kids around her 'cause she done harmed me multiple times. She done tried to kill me and my baby before in a bed.

Your baby?

Mom, you don't hit me with my kids no more. Now you wanna lie?

Your baby, I tried to kill your baby?

You done tried to hit me with my kids in my arms. So you wanna sit here and lie on tape that I was tripping?

And I told you to put that baby down.

And I told you for what? 'Cause we not gonna fight.

'Cause your mouth was too slick.

And yours is as well.

And I'm your mom.

Ayesha, I need to know from you, what goes through your mind when you read your mother's messages like that?

That it hurts. It really do. 'Cause I had never told her I wish she dead. I never told her I would do that. I never, never can have a good conversation with her without her having an attitude or something. She said I'm always having one. And then she saying nasty stuff. Let's see, I cleans up. I cleans the dishes and I clean my hands every time. So I don't see how I'm nasty. And the respect that she still here lying on this couch is getting on my nerves right now.

Well, this is the thing. You said also that you think your mother called CPS. Latrice, I wanna ask you, did you call CPS?

She the only one that knew I left Friday.

So why would you call CPS on your daughter?

I didn't call CPS on her. I don't know why she feels that way. This is not the first time. She was just at Appleton. They just tried to take her kids then. When she first had her first baby, she came to me, "Mom, I gotta get away from there. CPS on they way." Okay, fine, Kyeshia, come on in. You come on in, you can stay for a year. I thought she was trying to get her house, so I didn't ask her for no rent, 'cause I thought she was saving up her money. But instead, she was giving her money to her baby's dad.

That's a lie.

Kyeshia, I can see your anxiety and everything in your body language. What do you think then is the problem between you and your mother?

That she cannot stop talking the way she talks to me. She trying to control everything I do. I never respect this lady. She always been doing a lot of stuff to me that was wrong. She talk about I left at 18, she put me out at 17. I was still in school.

Girl, you was 18. I was 17. You was 18.

I was 17.

You went to jail in Sacramento when you was 17, love. We moved and you had turned 18 already.

You said love, but you don't want me to call you mama.

No, I don't.

Why would you tell her not to call you mom?

Because I felt like she don't care about me. She called the police on me 3 times for what? I didn't even do anything.

What else you did do, mama?

I didn't even do nothing. She went to, I went and got her my 2 kids I had two grandbabies and she went to the hospital with the last one.

Y'all let me talk.

And I said—

She thinks she's right. I'm gonna let her keep thinking she's right.

And I said— She's right. She let me keep the babies and then she went into labor. The babies was soaking wet from head to toe. Soaked and wet 'cause they was in the rain. I kept the babies, brought 'em home, dried 'em up, put 'em in a bath, put 'em on new clothes and everything. And I'm like, she went in labor. I'm like, "Kyeshia, well can I just keep 'em?" 'Cause I hadn't seen 'em in a while. "Can I just keep 'em?" "No, my best friend is gonna keep 'em." I'm like, "But why, Kyeshia? Why? Like, why can't I see my grandbabies?" "No, no." And then next thing I know, the police done came to the house.

See, I know you've been trying. I know you've been trying. Hold on, hear me out, Kyeshia. I know you've been trying. And Kyeshia, what you've been experiencing is your truth as well. What's happening here is that there is a cycle. These are generational cycles. And I'm gonna tell you, start off with you. You were 15 and grew up in a broken home and you had a child and you lost your childhood. You lost your childhood. And you never had anybody in that house that cared about you and loved you and showed you what to do.

Mm-hmm.

Am I hitting it on the nail?

Yeah, that's correct.

And it hurts you. It hurts you.

And it's confusing me why she's that way now.

So let me tell you something. You tried your best as much as you could with the knowledge you had to try to be there for her. Mm-hmm. But what happened is you truly didn't have all the knowledge.

No, I didn't.

You truly didn't have all the tools.

No, I didn't.

And what happened is unconsciously, the things that you went through in your childhood house, you brought into the house with your daughter. When I look at those texts, those are messages that you got from family members. Those are things that made you feel like you didn't, you weren't worthy. You told me right here, you brought that into your house because you didn't know any better.

This is my thing. When I didn't do none of those things though, I was really, I was trying to break the cycle.

Hear me out, hear me out. You think you were trying to break the cycle, but you didn't. And it's okay. You tried to break the cycle, but you didn't have the tools. And so even right now you're like, I tried to, but you gotta acknowledge I didn't break it. Because if you would've broke it, I would've never been able to read a text like, daughter, I wish you died.

It was after.

It was after the buildup. I understand, I understand. No, it wasn't.

It doesn't matter the buildup. Hear me out. Listen to me. Listen to me. It doesn't matter when it happened. You weren't able to break the cycle. And so what happened is that when anything that triggered you from your past came up, it just triggered you to go straight into what you were taught as a child. You're tripping me out. This is what you were taught. This is what you were taught as a child and you tried to break it, but you weren't able to because you didn't have the skills. Kaisha, may I ask you a question? Because you are a product now of the cycle. I wanna ask you this. Because I've heard some things about going on in your family, and I'm not saying you're a bad mother at all, but I'm hearing some things. Do you believe that the cycle is continuing with you? How do you treat your children sometimes?

I could say I could be mean here and there.

You beat 'em?

No, no, no, don't do that.

'Cause I don't beat my child.

Hold on, hold on. What you just said, because you were almost there before, is there moments with your children that you think, Maybe I haven't made all the right decisions.

I could say so.

Yes, and I'm not blaming you either. Hear me out. You didn't get the tools either. You didn't get the tools. You didn't get the tools and you didn't get the tools. Neither of you are horrible women. Neither of you are horrible mothers. You are people that are in a situation where you don't know how to break the cycle. This is generational pain that is being passed down and down. And it can end with you, but it has to be acknowledged and you gotta start to figure out how to communicate.

I have tried that with her.

This is it.

I can't keep pushing myself so on and on and on.

Let me tell y'all something.

She blocks me.

Let me tell you something. Hold on, hear me out. Hear me out, Kyeshia. You all unfortunately can't unbreak this cycle together. And so that's why y'all are going in circles. That's why it's called a cycle because y'all don't know how to communicate because only thing you're communicating from is trauma. So what I wanna do for you two is I'm gonna offer you therapy today. Please, Latrice.

I don't know if that'd be helpful.

Can you make the commitment for me? Can you make the commitment to go to therapy to heal that little girl that's in you? To heal that little girl in you.

Everywhere.

So that you can start to heal the little girl that's sitting there.

She's not gonna change.

Can you commit to therapy?

Yeah, but she's not going to change.

The answer is yes. Just say yes.

Yes.

You can commit to healing that little girl. I'm going to give you, listen, I understand in the Black community we don't have access to therapy and the tools we need. I'm offering it to you so you can heal that girl.

Okay.

Yes?

Accept.

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