Karaoke Ruined Our Friendship! 🎤💔 | KARAMO

So this all comes down to a song?

It all comes down to a song over karaoke.

Yeah.

It's amazing. His song got skipped.

Why did it get skipped?

Well, when we do karaoke, sometimes it's first come, first serve. But this particular night, I'm also a promoter.

Okay.

That I was doing karaoke, I had a list. Plus, He told me that he wasn't even coming.

Yeah.

He wasn't supposed to come. He had another event to go to and I had a list. So at the last minute he pops up and he was first. He was the first person there. You know, I don't think if he knew I had a list, maybe I told him I had a list, I can't remember. But the night went on and we ran over time so he wasn't able to perform.

So what was his reaction?

His reaction? Well, when it was over, I wasn't thinking anything of it. I was just running around busy and you know, he's usually around and we hang out after a while, you know, after the show and kick it. And I was like, where's Joe?

Joe was gone.

So when I got home, I text him and cussed me out.

What'd he say?

He was just upset. Man, that was fucked up what you did. I was there first. We ain't friends no more. I'm not talking to you no more.

How long have you and Joe been friends?

3 years.

3 years?

About 3 years. And on top of it, my little bro had just passed the day before.

Wow.

So he kind of knew what I was dealing with.

Yeah.

You know? And then when I said to him like, bro, you know what I'm going through? Like, I don't care about that. Like, and we supposed to be like boys.

Yeah.

You know? And my brother passed and you would like just—

Hold on, he told you that he didn't care about your brother's passing?

He didn't care about none of that.

Really?

Yeah.

So what hurts you the most about that situation?

It's just that I thought we was family. I thought we was brothers.

Yeah.

And for you to stop speaking to me over a karaoke song and just downplay my whole situation, I thought was like the devil straight from hell. It was to the point where I was just like, you know what? I'm not even gonna go back and forth with him. I just completely shut him down.

So have you seen each other since?

We've seen each other once at a karaoke, at another karaoke, but we just looked at each other and we didn't say anything to each other. And he's been like, because we're kind of like in the same, you know, if I see him like on a flyer and they got me, I'll call the promoter and be like, yo, look, I'm not coming to that situation 'cause you got this.

Did he ever apologize to you for what he said about your brother?

No, he didn't.

Okay. I don't wanna pry. If I ask you this question, please tell me 'cause I don't ever wanna trigger you or hurt you. What did he say? If you shared it with me, would it be something that is going to hurt you or trigger you? Because I want clarity so I understand how to move forward on what he can say.

It's not gonna hurt or trigger me.

Yeah.

But I wouldn't wanna put that out there on him.

Got it. Well, it's already out there, so I just need to know.

No.

Sorry, I just need to know what he said. So what did he say exactly?

He said, "I don't give a fuck about your brother passing." Wow.

So you told my producers that this can be solved with one thing. What is that one thing?

An apology. I believe that I'm a spiritual person and I believe that, you know, I'm always trying to look for the right in something. So I'm like, well maybe he just had a bad day or whatever the situation, you know, may be. But if God is willing to forgive us, then we should be willing to forgive other people.

Okay. Well listen everyone, I wanna meet this karaoke legend. Everyone welcome Joe to the show. This is the first time seeing each other since that karaoke event? Okay. Hey, Joe, how you doing?

Hello, how you doing? Nice to meet you.

Okay, good to meet you as well. Please take a seat with me. So you ended your friendship over a karaoke song. Why?

No and yes.

Okay, tell me your point of view.

He was like one of my closest friends. I consider him as family. All right, you was talking about the event, right? So I came to show up because you invited me basically, right? I did come late, but I was still earlier than the last two people that performed.

Perform.

So I didn't end my friendship over karaoke. That wasn't the problem. It was just the way you went about the situation.

So you feel like he betrayed your friendship? Like he didn't make you a priority?

No, I just felt like he didn't take it serious when I, when it was all over, right? They said it was the last two people, right? So they let them perform. I still stuck around. The only thing that made me upset is because I brought a friend with me. They wanted to perform just like I wanted to.

But I did tell you that I had a list already.

That too, and also the manager was like the last two people. So when the manager said that, I can't put it on you when the establishment owner says one thing, you know what I mean? The only thing I got upset about with you is we know each other long enough and we hang around each other too much that you couldn't talk to me for at least 5 minutes. The way I took it in a different way because you was real nonchalant. You spoke to me for—

Well, you know the situation I was going through. So first of all, my mind was somewhere else and I'm dealing with like at shows, I'm busy. If you my friend, you coming to a show, don't expect me to sit there and have conversations with you all night. You should be the type of friend like, yo, I know this is a show, he's working, let me just sit back and chill.

'Cause for clarity, my producers told me that the manager is actually the ones who shut down the event, not you.

Yeah, the manager.

Okay, got it, got it. So you think that You said T-Rex violated you. What do you mean by that?

Well, being that we friends, like I said, he was being real nonchalant about the situation. Like when it was all over, I was there for a moment and you know, we don't talk, we talk enough that we could have actually had a quick conversation. He just said, "Oh, you know, it's over for the night, but maybe the next time." And then he walks that way. He has 7, 8, 9 different conversations within that little bit of time. So I'm just standing there looking and I'm thinking, and also like you said, you going through something, I'm going through something too. You know, I just recently got hit by a car, I had surgery. So it was just, it could have been like the small, that little thing just took me somewhere and—

Feeling neglected.

That, and then I'm just dealing with a lot of anger personally because of the situation, not you. And that just happened to happen at that time.

What was the anger you were dealing with?

Like I said, I was hit by a car, so I'm frustrated most of the time 'cause I go through pain and things like that. So at a certain point I wasn't going out. I was staying at home a lot. I didn't get outta my bed or nothing, so.

What did you text T-Rex when you left?

I don't remember word for word, but what I will say is I felt like I was expressing myself and putting it all out there on the table, but in a text message. I know what you said, bro. I know what I said, but not word for word, everything specifically. So when I wrote it to you, it was in a paragraph. That means I just put it all right there.

Got it. What happened the last time you saw each other?

We didn't talk to each other. He stayed on one side of the room and I was on another.

And how did that make you feel doing that?

It was uncomfortable.

Did you want to reach out to him?

It was mad uncomfortable.

Slightly, yes.

Because the thing was like we have too many mutual friends and then it's not like I could try to talk to somebody else about it because then they put their own spin on the situation. They might make it worse than what it is. So I didn't really talk to nobody about it. I just know that me and him had the issue and I just stayed away from him.

And you told my producers also you think that he owes you an apology. Please tell me.

I felt like he owed me an apology for the way he went about the situation. Like I said, this is where the anger comes in because we're too cool, we hang out too much. I go to your house, you go to my house. We do a lot together and around each other and I feel like we should've just had a genuine conversation instead of you just saying, "Oh, you know what, make better effort next time." Bro, I don't think you owe me an apology.

You just went too far with it.

I agree with you.

You went way too far with it, so.

I just wanted you to understand where I was coming from.

Yeah.

Just like you want me to understand you.

Listen, I gotta, I'm gonna stop this really quickly because at the end of the day, this has nothing to do with karaoke. So I'm gonna throw that outta this, okay? Because what I'm seeing right now is, and this is actually could be something very good for both of you. I'm seeing two Black men who were both hurting in different ways and weren't able to express their hurt to the person that they considered their boy, their family, their friend. And you let a moment be sort of the catalyst instead of saying, "I need you more. I need you to be here for me. I need you." You're right. You let this catalyst of this moment break y'all apart instead of talking about what's really going on. Right. Do you think you owe him apology for what you said in the text? Because he told us that you said in the text that you thought his, that you didn't care about his brother passing.

Yes, I was wrong. I should've never said that about your brother. And I'm sorry.

I'm glad that you were able to at least get that. But I also heard that during that time you were hurt and you were hurt by the car accident. You were feeling pain. Were you able to talk to him about what you were feeling?

I wasn't, to be honest with you, I could have, but I just didn't talk to anybody.

I honestly didn't know.

Yeah, so basically I was hit by a car, whatever, it was a hit and run, but it kind of messed my body up. So I don't feel and do the things that I used to do. I don't play sports. I stopped going out for a long time before I did start going out. When I did, it just created and built up so much anger inside me, even to the point, just the smallest little thing, I might just overreact. I'm not saying I'm gonna overreact, but I'll be more upset than I would normally be.

So that's why the karaoke meant more because you felt like you were losing who you were as a person. That's a great way to put it. Because you just said your mobility was affected by the fact that you got into a car accident.

Yes.

Or that you got hit by a car. So at that moment when karaoke and you didn't make the list, you felt like you were robbed of another thing that you felt you felt like you should have got. Wow. The anger you felt for the person who hit you with that car, you took out on him. Let me connect the dots for you. That's what happened there. Yeah?

I'm listening. I'm just processing it in a row, that's all.

It's okay.

It's all right. But that makes sense.

Karaoke is the thing that you could still do that made you feel like yourself. What do you feel like when you do karaoke?

I feel, you know, different. I feel, you know, free. I'm with my friends when I'm doing it. I'm with people that I care about, people that care about me. And—

So you just said you felt free and you felt supported.

Yes.

Look at those words. Those are words. So when you don't feel free anymore and you don't feel supported, of course the anger's gonna come out. And I'm telling you that to use that as something that you can use going through your life anytime you feel anger. 'Cause those are your triggers now. You feel what I'm saying?

Yes.

Your boy was going through something. Is there anything you wanna say to him?

I just wanna say I apologize. You know, if I offended you any kind of way or whatever, you know, I was going through, you know, I honestly didn't know how much, even though we did karaoke a lot, I didn't know how much it really meant that much to you. And me being the promoter, I probably could've snatched somebody off and threw 'em on, you know, so.

You hear that? He's acknowledging that that night he could have done a little bit more to support you. Yeah, he's saying that he could have supported you. Can you commit right now to being more vulnerable with this friend?

Yes.

Say it to him.

I could commit to being more vulnerable with you. And like I said, I'm gonna say it again. I apologize for the way I took it and went about it, but I was feeling just like you was dealing with something and I just didn't go about it the right way.

Yeah.

If I could have did it in a better way, we'd have been hanging out all this time.

Mm-hmm.

Good job.

Can you commit to being more vulnerable with him?

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. My only friend I had in the neighborhood.

Yeah, yeah. The reason that this is so important to me, and I'm glad that you all could commit to be more vulnerable, because a lot of times when it comes to women, these are the conversations that women are taught to have. They're taught to say, this is what I'm feeling and let's figure out how to work it out. But as men, and especially as we get older as men, we don't have as many friendships as we did when we were younger. So the ones that we have, we gotta make sure that we're growing and learning how to be more vulnerable with them. These are moments where we as men, especially as Black men, you gotta dig a little deeper and say, you know what? Nah, I can't shut you out right now.

Right.

And stay there. Yeah, and stay in that pride. You know what I mean? I know y'all dapped it up, but I need y'all to give each other a hug.

Look, we still Black.

Nah, give brother a hug.

I want everybody to hold.

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