In this episode of Karamo Connects, host Karamo revisits a recent family appearance where Anita, a grieving mother, blames her daughters for the death of her husband James. The dialogue reveals intense mother‑daughter conflict, accusations of the daughters being "evil" or competing for the father's love, and Anita’s volatile behavior toward her children. Karamo intersperses the on‑set conversation with a meta‑segment in which he reads and reacts to viewer comments from YouTube and TikTok, expressing how some remarks have gotten under his skin. He critiques the family’s dynamics, noting the mother’s tendency to push the daughters away and the daughters’ lingering love for their late father. Karamo emphasizes the need for the family to acknowledge feelings, seek professional grief counseling, journal, and engage in open communication. He also draws a line on his role, stating he will "stick in my lane" as a facilitator rather than a psychologist, and urges the mother to take steps toward healing so the love in the family can survive the loss. The episode ends with Anita’s bitter affirmation that the love died with her husband, underscoring the unresolved pain.
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She's throwing this act as if she want a relationship with us. She don't want a relationship with us. You trying to make stuff better than it is.
Sit down.
Mama, don't do that.
Sit down.
So recently on my show, a family came on who were mourning the loss of their husband and father. Anita was brokenhearted, blaming her daughters for the death of her husband, James. Now listen, I was scrolling through the comments like I do sometimes on YouTube and TikToks. I do see them all. And I'm gonna be real with y'all, some of y'all comments got me under my skin. So I wanna take a minute to go through y'all comments and just talk about some things. Why are you mad at her for standing up?
'Cause she gonna talk about me.
'Cause she don't like to hear the truth. And when the truth come to her, she don't wanna hear it.
Your daughter's crying.
She always cry.
How are your daughters evil? I just want you to tell me 'cause you keep saying they're evil. How are they evil? They is. Can you explain that to me?
'Cause they always got something against me. She say something bad against me.
"To the girls, pick new people and let mom go. It's her personality. Stop hoping for a different result. She'll die mean, but y'all deserve love." So I actually don't believe that this woman is gonna die mean. I believe that she's grieving, and a lot of times it's easy to see the pain and see the hatefulness that comes with the pain, but not realize that sometimes people just need time to heal from that pain. This was very fresh for the mother, for these daughters, but I don't think they should give up on their mom. They've already lost one parent. I don't wanna ever encourage them to then lose their mother. As well. You are all grieving and you have not had any time to grieve what has happened. You have lost your husband and your best friend. You have lost your father. I was taking notes as you were talking and I was realizing that, okay, she's pushing them away. She's doing things and you kept saying they love their father more. I wanted all of y'all, can one by one, can you tell your mother you love her?
Yeah, I love you, Mama.
"When someone dies that holds the family up, it's hard. Everyone is grieving and everyone handles death different. There are two sides to every story. As years go on, the relationships will get better. I've been through this. One of the girls will get through to their mom." I love this comment because I do believe that through time, through healing, but with time and healing comes actual work. You have to be talking about your feelings, you have to be journaling your feelings, you have to see a therapist, see a grief counselor. And I believe when you do those things, time will heal the wounds. Now you did say one of the daughters will get through their mom. Their only job is to heal themselves and make sure they're feeling healthy and that they're protected and they feel safe. I think it's about encouraging the mom to go see that grief counselor, to go see that therapist, and to take the time she needs to heal. But understand that when she does, mom will be here for you. So how has James' passing affected your relationship with your kids?
Terrible. They love their daddy more than they love than me. They didn't love me. They don't love me the way they love him. Because it's whatever he say, it went with them. But now I can say something, it don't go.
I see what's going on here. She found a good man and to keep him, she had these girls. Once the father started showing love to and for his daughters, they became competition in the mother's eyes. She doesn't see her daughters as her children. She sees them as other women in his lives. I'm not gonna lie to y'all, there is a little truth that I did feel that on set.
Stage.
I don't know for sure, but there was language that she used that made me feel like there was a competition she had with her daughters. But at the end of the day, I still feel like she just lost her husband. Sometimes things just don't have a happy resolution.
It won't be picked out since the day, not in my house. You better not even touch her. Girl, I'll take your braid out your head.
You better not touch me. Mama, don't do it.
I'll take your braid out your head.
Listen, I'm sorry y'all going through this.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not even close to a psychologist, and I know that he gave the completely wrong advice and just exacerbated the entire problem. I feel for the family because he sure created a whole new list of problems. Well, girl, you just said it. You're not a psychologist, and you're also not a TV host. So, um, let me stick in my lane and you stick in yours. What I did was trying to get a family to that they have to be able to take a first step to recognize what each other are feeling. That's my only job here in 35 minutes is to recognize what's happening, have there be acknowledgement, and give them a step so then they can move on and do the work once they get home. And that was accomplished. The love did not die with your husband.
Yes, it did.
It did not. It didn't. Can we as a Black community normalize listening to your children when they're respectfully telling you about yourself, whether it's your auntie or your grandma, et cetera? Sometimes it's better to hear it from your kids than someone else. It's so sad to see that they don't have support from someone who birthed them. My mom is my best friend and I can't imagine even having a mother like this. Like, for real, I feel bad for them. I felt very bad for them as well. I agree with you, and I do think we should be normalizing, not just in the Black community but period, allowing people to understand that children have feelings as well and they should be acknowledged and recognized. And just because we're the adults and we feel like we're what we did was for the best and we feel like we know better, we still have to respect our children. They're little human beings. Whether that child is 5 years old or 15 years old or 25 years old, respect what your child is saying and understand that sometimes we have to take our ego aside and listen to them so that we can say, hmm, maybe there is something I should be working on right now. And this mother just wasn't in the space. And you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to grieve. You gotta receive it right now. Your family loves you and it's still here. Your daughters love you. These people are just people you have to let suffer. There is no ounce of regret for their actions. This is narcissism at its best. If you're in a situation like this, do yourself a favor, get as far away as possible. They are undeserving of your love and patience. It just fuels their endless hatred. It's hard, but they're not on your side. Only you are. There's some language in here that is true, but it's about setting boundaries. You just have to set boundaries and say, okay, if you're not in a space to be loving to me, to be respectful of me, then I don't need to be around you. Or when you start with the behavior or language that's hatred or hateful, I'm gonna walk away. Set those boundaries for yourself and have somebody who can be accountable for you, a sister, a brother, a family member who can support you in those moments of not staying in the toxicity. And I think that's what what needs to happen here. You're right, you know, until somebody's ready to grieve and to go through the process of getting better for themselves, you do have to set boundaries because otherwise you'll get sucked right into the negativity and no one deserves to do that. I appreciate what y'all have to say and I hear you, I truly do. I don't agree with all of what y'all have to say, but I do hear you and I respect you. That's Karamo Connects, y'all. Keep talking and growing. Hold up, hold up, where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, So click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
