Lost My Adopted Mom At 17, Are We Sisters? | KARAMO

Right after my mom gave birth to me, she left me at the hospital and never came back. I was 3 years old when I was adopted by another woman. She already had 4 grown biological children, but she took in me and another boy. When I was 17 years old, my adoptive mother passed away. Her biological children never claimed us, so me and my adopted brother ended up homeless. When I lost my mom at 17, it was one of the hardest things I had to go through. It was— so many things happened so fast. I lost my mom, I lost my peace, I lost my home, I lost my security. The smallest things that people take for granted. It was so hard. It made me believe that I had to be this person. I had to be this strong-willed person that could survive anything. And the thing is, when you're strong, no one ever asks if you need help. And so a lot of people would just say, "Oh, you're strong, you're amazing, you're brave." I just wanted someone to say that, Are you okay? Last year, my brother tragically passed away. I feel like I had no one after that. He meant the absolute world to me, my brother. I miss him dearly every single day. So, you know, that was my brother. That was the one person on this earth that made me feel like I had family. And to lose him, it felt like I lost my family all over again. Losing my brother made me want to find my own biological family. Through my search, I came across a woman named Veronica who could potentially be my sister. I'm hoping Veronica is my sister because that means I get to be a little sister again.

Well, listen, we'll talk to Christy shortly. First, please welcome her potential sister Veronica to the show. Veronica, thank you for being here. So how did you first find out about Christy?

I was checking my Facebook messages and I was going through my spam, my junk mail. I do that regularly to see if there's any tea.

Yeah.

Anything I don't know that I'm gonna miss.

Yeah.

So I seen this message come through from someone named Christy and she's saying, "Hey, can you put me in touch with a Dixon? I think that this particular person who happens to be my cousin is my sister." And so I said, "Absolutely." And so I called up my cousin and I let my cousin know like, "Hey girl, you got a sister." Yeah. "We're gonna get down to it." 'Cause we have twins for fathers.

Yeah.

My cousin and I. Yeah. And so I'm thinking, what do these twins get into? Which twin?

Like, obviously it's your dad. Your dad.

Your dad.

So she's like, okay, I'm gonna get down to the bottom of it. And that's how I found out that they were connected.

Wow.

So we have Christy's first message to you. It says, Karamo, my name is Christy. I know this message may come out of nowhere, but I recently completed a DNA test through ancestry.com. I found someone who strongly believes is my half sister. Her name is blank. I'm trying to get in contact with someone in the Dixon family. "Wow." I said, "Hi, I'm Veronica. You could be looking for my cousin." She said I could pass her number on to you. Oh, that is so sweet. But then, so you were very supportive and happy and like, yeah. So what happened when you talked to your cousin about all this?

My cousin reached out to me and she's like, "We need to talk." And I was like, "Okay, girl, I'm getting the popcorn ready to get it." 'Cause I'm like, "Tell me the details." She goes, I was like, hold on. And it came to my attention that Chrissy is actually my, could potentially be my sister. So not my cousin's. And so I was in shock, 'cause I'm an only child.

So that's the moment when you actually realized you could be the, it could be your sister.

I did, but I kind of thought so when I got the message at first too. I thought because we have twins for fathers, what if by some chance she's my sister?

Wow.

So how was your first conversation with Chrissy?

It was really nice. She's just really sweet, really kind. I feel like I've known her for a long time and I saw her immediately and I saw myself through her and I thought, she's, I said to my mother, I said, "Mom, she's ours." I felt a connection to her.

Wow.

Were you close to your father?

You know, I was close to my father in my later years. So starting from 16 onward until he passed away. He actually passed away the day after I turned 40. So that was a bummer, but we were close then, not when I was younger 'cause my mother raised me.

Got it. Did your father ever mention that he may have another daughter out there?

He never mentioned it and he would have. We were very close and he was very open and he took responsibility for anything that he may have done that wasn't right or was right. He just was a good man.

So do you think your father knew about Christy? 'Cause it sounds like he didn't.

He didn't know about her.

So how long have you and Christy been in contact?

2 months.

So this is recent.

Yes.

This is really recent.

Really recent.

Have you ever met Christy in person?

Never.

Never met Christy in person, wow.

Never FaceTimed, nothing like that. Just conversation on the phone.

You gave me chills. Thank you for doing this on my show and allowing me to be here to support you all. That is very thoughtful. I'm so thankful. I really am honored when people trust me enough to take their stories and be here on the stage with me. So thank you for that.

Absolutely. I knew who to come to.

Okay. I knew it was you. Okay.

Well listen, I think it's time for Veronica to finally meet her potential sister.

So everyone, please help me welcome Christy to the show.

Hi, Veronica. Oh my God. It's so good to finally meet you.

Hi, Christy.

So pretty.

So pretty.

Oh my God. How you doing?

How are you?

I'm nervous, I'm excited. I feel like a bundle of nerves right now.

Yes. What's it like to finally meet Veronica?

Oh, it's amazing. You're so beautiful.

You're so pretty.

Your locs are amazing.

Thank you.

Yours too.

Loc goddess.

After all you've been through, did you ever think that this day would ever come?

No, not in a million years. Growing up, it was me, my mom, and my brother, and my mom was very open about about our adoption, about our parents. And she always said that for me, Chrissy, no one ever came for you. So we just didn't know anything about my family. I thought, I lost hope very young 'cause I feel like I wouldn't be able to find my family 'cause it was so small of a chance. And so I didn't think I could get this far. So to be able to find family and to find a potential sister is, I can't explain it.

Tell me why you started this search for your biological family.

So I started the search because last year was the hardest year of my life. I unfortunately lost my brother very tragically. And I was planning his funeral because we were the only family that we had. And at the funeral, not one person from our adoptive family was present. And so at the funeral, my brother's biological family was there. His mom and all of his siblings were there. And seeing that inspired me to try to find my own family.

Yeah. Aw. So you and your brother were really close.

It's funny because I didn't realize how close we were until I lost him.

Yeah.

We bickered like brothers and sisters do over who was smarter, who was better, who was better at video games. He was the one person in my life that we could share similar traumas with. Like we both were adopted, we both lost our mother at a young age, we both were homeless for some time. And so we were bonded over that.

Yeah. Was he your biological brother?

He wasn't.

He wasn't, just your adopted brother.

Yeah.

Okay, got it. So do you have any communication with, Do you communicate with the other siblings now?

Not really. I communicate with one about once a year over the holidays via text.

But that's it?

The other I haven't spoken to in years.

So what was your goal when you started searching for your bio family?

I just wanted to find family. I thought maybe there's someone out there for me.

Yeah. So what did you know about your background?

Yeah.

What did you know about your background before you started your search?

The story that I was told was that my biological mother went into the hospital, gave birth to me, wrote my name down on a piece of paper and then left. And that was it.

Yeah, okay. And how did you end up finding Veronica?

Good old-fashioned Ancestry DNA. I decided to just do it on a whim. Like, honestly, I was talking about it with my therapist and I was like, "Yeah, I'm probably not gonna find anybody." And she was like, "Just try." Yeah. So I tried and the first hit I got, I got a grandfather and two uncles. And that really surprised me 'cause I thought I would've gotten a cousin twice removed. Yeah. I thought the chances were so slim for me to find anybody. I didn't think I was gonna find Not one person. But I found my grandfather, then I found my cousin, and then I got connected to Veronica.

Wow. Let me tell you, your therapist was good for that. It's something I try to tell people all the time. I'm like, just try.

Yeah.

You never know. Just try. Just try.

Look at that.

And look where it's led you. Yeah. Did you and Veronica hit it off right away?

I like to think so. I remember that first conversation. She was so welcoming and so nice. And it's, I felt like we immediately started just communicating and talking like sisters do.

I always wanted a little sister.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Actually, I wrote something and I kind of wanna share it with you.

Oh yeah, you brought your journal.

Yeah, I journal a lot. It helps me process. And finding my biological family was a lot. So I just had to, I just wrote down some things that I wanted to share with you. This is after, shortly after we had our first conversation. I wrote, I feel like I've gotten closer to my sister Veronica. She is so sweet and has been through so much that I can't help but to feel pride and admire her. We talk about doing a trip together as sisters. Even writing it down brings a tear to my eye. I have so many anxieties about messing up the relationship and not being accepted, but I'm pushing that aside to embrace and get to know my sister.

Aw. Thank you.

Well, Christy, are you ready to find out the truth?

Yes and no.

Well, it's the time. Come with me. Christy, in this envelope is the DNA truth to see if Veronica is your biological sister. As you expressed, you've been through loss, but yet even through that loss, family is still important to you. And this would be your opportunity to have a biological sister who you could connect with. This is your truth to open, not mine, so good luck.

No matter what this envelope says, you're my sister. I've been through so much loss in my life and I felt so alone for so long. Veronica, do you mind coming with me and open the envelope together?

Are you ready?

I'm ready. I'm shaking so bad. It says, Christy, Veronica is your biological sister.

Like my baby sister.

Yeah, you're my big sister.

That's your big sister.

Come to make down for me. I think one of the most beautiful things you said is that your father has given you this gift. Sometimes we don't know how things work out, but the fact that you unfortunately had lost your brother and that you had lost your father and you both were feeling like there's something I wanna connect and both wanting but not knowing that you would be able to find, I think it's such a beautiful, I know this relationship is gonna be great. I already know y'all about to be each other's lives, call each other, support each other. I already know it. I already know it. And what I love is what you wrote in that journal. About your anxiety and fears. The fact that you can be honest about that already is gonna allow you to, in even those moments, be like, don't get in your head. Be like, I'm your sister. Something I always tell people who are starting new relationships, especially with siblings, is make the mantra, I'm always on your side. And if you can remember, she's always on my side, she's always on my side, it means that no matter what anxieties or fears come up, you're gonna say, put those aside. She's on my side. Are you on her side?

Absolutely.

Say it to her.

I'm on your side.

Are you on her side?

I'm on your side.

There we go. I got you.

Yay.

Remember that if anything pops up, and that will help you navigate any feelings so y'all can get stronger and closer. And I think I have something new to add to your journal as well. How far do y'all live from each other?

I live in California.

And where you at?

North Carolina.

North Carolina, okay then. I wanna make sure y'all see each other, so I'm gonna give y'all a flight to see each other, okay?

Oh my God. I wanna make sure.

I need to make sure y'all see each other. Listen, I need to make sure y'all see each other. I'm gonna make sure, 'cause we about to hit the holidays, okay? We gotta make sure y'all see each other, all right? So we gonna make sure we help y'all out with that, all right? Congratulations and thank you for sharing y'all's story with me. I really appreciate it. All right, make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all.

Mm-hmm.