In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo sits down with longtime partners Jesse and Ashley to unpack the turmoil that has marked their eight‑year relationship. Jesse, formerly a carnival ride superintendent known as the “Carnival King,” recounts meeting Ashley during the carnival’s final season, their instant attraction, and the subsequent years marked by heavy drug use, infidelity, and multiple separations. Both partners describe their personal histories of addiction—Jesse’s 25‑year battle with drugs and recent six‑month sobriety, Ashley’s start at age 16 and nearly two years of clean living—along with the ways substance abuse eroded trust, communication, and mutual respect. They reveal painful episodes such as Jesse destroying Ashley’s car while under the influence, recurring accusations of paranoia, and a pattern of apologies that feel insincere. The conversation also delves into deeper trauma: Jesse’s loss of his first child at age three, Ashley’s exhaustion from single‑handedly raising their two children, and the lingering grief that still affects both. Karamo highlights the couple’s divergent communication styles, the impact of past trauma on parenting, and the need for accountability. He offers concrete therapeutic suggestions—individual and joint therapy for grief, rebuilding sober intimacy, and learning to “re‑date” each other—to help them create a healthier family environment. The episode ends with both partners expressing gratitude for the chance to work on their relationship and a hopeful outlook that sobriety and intentional communication can restore stability for their children.
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I'm about to talk to longtime boyfriend and girlfriend Jesse and Ashley, who say their relationship is riddled with negative behavior that needs to be addressed. You could say they've been on a wild rollercoaster ride for the last 8 years. Let's hear what Jesse has to say about this relationship. Everyone, please help me welcome Jesse. How you doing, man? Good to meet you. Good to meet you, brother. Take a seat. So Jesse, I hear that you're known as the Carnival King. Where did you get that name from?
Tell me about that. Yeah, I worked at the carnival for 10 years, over a decade. I was the ride superintendent. Yeah, I was kind of a big deal. OK. You know, in a small world, it's— you know, then I came into the real world after the carnival, and I wasn't such a big deal anymore. But you're still a big deal to us. Yeah, thanks. But that's where I met Ashley at. She was my last season out there. We were wrapping up, my company was closing down, and that's where I met Ashley. She was, we loved at first sight, man. I walked around the corner of the bunkhouses and I saw these little shorts and she was putting up a garden hose and I saw that ass, man, and I fell dead in love right then. It was real.
That's a recurring thing. You see that ass, yeah, yeah, I see it.
Yeah.
So how's your relationship been since then?
It's been tumultuous, to say the least. It's, I mean, I love her. I love Ashley with all my heart. We just come from really different worlds. We were raised a lot differently, and we have a lot of different values, and just the way we go about things and communication styles, mainly, we're just so far apart on that, and it's hard to have any kind of conversation about anything sensitive, and there's a lot of hurt. There's a lot of trauma in our past. You know what I mean? And it's, I truly believe, I know that I really wanna move forward and continue. We have two beautiful children, you know, and that are my world.
So I wanna know why have you broken up? 'Cause I hear the communication issues, but why have you broken up?
Well, drugs have been a part of our relationship. It was for a long time. I'm recently sober, 6 months.
Congratulations.
So that's a long time for me. It's been a 25-year battle.
Yeah.
For myself. Ashley's had some similar issues. So at first, a lot of it was over that type of thing, drugs.
So when you met, you were both on drugs?
Yes, yes. I was pretty bad at it.
Are you still living together today?
No, we've— I live about 30 miles away. I have my own little apartment. I had gone to rehab, and I got out, and then I went to transitional housing just to kind of re-assimilate back into just life. And learning how to deal with things on a sober level. And so we've been apart since before I went to rehab, is when we split. And so we're trying to get things back on track. She's got this great job opportunity coming up and we wanna get back in the same household. And I don't wanna see my kids, like I heard you say about your growing up, that's my concern is my children and how this affects them seeing us fuss and fight and carry on like that. I wasn't raised like that. That was not a part of my household. And I understand the effects that it's gonna have on my kids, man. And I'm not willing to compromise my children's wellbeing and peace of mind for anything.
Well, I wanna know, because it sounds like you're a real family man, what do your kids mean to you?
The world. They're what got me on track. That's even, I've had a lot going on. Let me say, backtrack real quick. In 2001, my first marriage, I had a son, and he passed away when he was 3. And that really obviously affected me deeply. And God's given me the opportunity to have children again. And I'm just not willing to do anything that I can have anything to do with that's going to hurt them. And I have. I have. Being a drug addict and fighting with their mom, being in and out of their lives, that affects them tremendously. And I'm not willing to do that anymore. Kill somebody.
Good. I mean, one of the things that I appreciate about you is that even through the trauma of losing a child, which I'm so sorry, you have these other children and you're recognizing that you wanna be better for them.
Absolutely.
Because you know that you can. I wanna know, in that time period when you were together and the drugs were involved, was there cheating involved?
Yes, there was a lot of infidelity involved in that end.
On both sides or just your side?
On both sides.
Well, you know, Jesse, Ashley's the one who called my show and asked for help. So she's saying that when you all, when you're together, that you don't take accountability, which is a bit of a different story than what you're telling.
Yeah. It's funny, like people's perspectives, like we all have our own and, you know, to me, mine, it's my reality and to her it's her reality, you know? And then what the actual reality is, is what I'm looking for. It just gets carried away. It's Ashley's person, just who she is. She's very skeptical and paranoid and constantly suspicious, constantly accusing me of stuff that's just not going on.
Got it.
You know?
All right, listen everyone, please welcome Ashley to my show. Hi. Hi, how are you doing?
Hi.
Take a seat for me. How's it going?
Good, it's good. Good, good.
So Ashley, first things first, you were hearing everything that Jesse had to say backstage.
I was.
And how do you feel about it?
I'm very annoyed because you talk about paranoia. Paranoia is the exact last thing. It is narcissism and it is just the fact that you see a way to make me feel bad about myself. You see it as a way to make me carry on. You have me to the point where I am questioning my sanity. You making me think that maybe I really am mentally ill. You sit here and you mumble stuff under your breath, and then when I ask you what it is, what it is that you say is all of a sudden we've turned into a huge fight. You know, you should see me as the mother of your children. It's not a game, Jesse, it's my life, and it hurts when you do that stuff.
Jesse, how do you feel about what you're hearing here?
I'm not trying to be that way. If I come off like that, then, you know, it's not intentional.
Do you feel like Jesse listens to you?
No, I don't. I don't at all. I feel like I'm always the one giving in. And you know, I was thinking backstage, in all of our relationship, I don't remember you one time ever, ever being the one to say you're sorry, ever.
Is that true?
I doubt it. No, that's just kind of like, it's, it's, It's just what, I don't know, I feel like it's what you choose to remember. It's just the negative sticks out to you a lot. I definitely apologize. I feel like I come back, I—
Of course he apologizes now, but for what?
No, I'm saying in the past I have as well, plenty of times, I mean.
Do you feel that Jesse manipulates you?
Yes, I do. In what way? He, well, for example, you know, like the biggest thing to me that is just that stands out the most, that aggravates me the most, is muttering crap under your breath. If you have something to say to me, look at me like a man and say it to me. Don't sit here and try to make me think I'm crazy because I heard what I heard.
And so now that you're living separately, correct?
Yes.
How does that make you feel?
It kills me. You know, we have 2 babies at home together that love us both. But there are certain things that I need a certain amount of respect for, you know? I mean, I'm a mom. I'm sure anybody could relate to that.
How is Jesse with the kids?
They love him so much. And you know, Jesse did lose a child at, you know, very young in life. And he, I don't understand that and I don't know what that's like. And so there are times that I probably am like, you know, that's so silly. But looking back, I'm sure there's a reason for that.
What do you mean silly? Like, so if he's having an emotional breakdown about it?
No, like helicopter dad. I don't know if you've ever heard that expression. He is definitely a helicopter dad. And I used to fuss at him for that. You know, I mean, just back off. Let him do the thing. So what? They fell. Let him pick up. But you know, I'm sure that there's hidden emotion behind that.
Is there hidden emotion behind that? Why you're so protective of your kids?
Well, it's not really hidden. It is that, you know, I worry about every move they make. I worry about every breath they take, especially when I'm not there.
You told my producers that Jesse destroyed your car.
There was an incident where we had gotten into an argument, you know, and I think what I think and he thinks what he thinks. And as soon as I tried to talk to him about it, he just wrecked the inside of my car.
Jesse, it's funny. Every time your lady says something, I noticed you do this, you glaze over and as if you're starting to think about what it, what's going on in your head each time?
I'm just, I'm trying to recall what she's talking about.
Did you destroy the car?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, I believe what she's saying.
Were you on drugs when you destroyed the car?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah. Ashley, tell me about your history with drug addiction.
It's a pretty long one. I started when I was 16 and it just kept going and kept going and you know, And God saw some saving grace in me because when that baby boy of ours, River, the youngest one, was born, we both knew that it was time for a change, you know?
And how long have you been clean now?
Almost 2 years.
Good job. So right when the kids were born.
Yeah.
So there was a part of your relationship that you were sober and you were still on drugs. Got it, okay. Ashley, what do you want him to change about himself?
I know that I love Jesse, but what I need from you, Jesse, is I need to know that this is not a game to you anymore. You know, how long have we been together? You know, we're not married. I have sacrificed the best parts of me. That's how I feel, is I've sacrificed the best parts of me. You know, I'm raising our babies full-time. You know, I need to know that you're here to raise them too. I don't need you to be the weekend warrior dad. You know, I need you to be the full-time dad. I just need the full support instead of, you know, okay, so if it is me having paranoia, help me get to the center of it instead of just throwing it off like it's nothing to you. That's what I need.
I've got a long way to go. This is new to me.
Yeah. Because I was looking at the separation period and the time period where you were like this in and out dad, it's because you were in rehab. So all of these pieces make sense to me that you two have to meet each other for the first time. Yeah. Seriously. You don't know this man.
No, I don't.
And you don't know her.
Right.
Like, this is gonna seem silly, but I want you to turn to each other and say, "Hi, I'm Ashley." Hi, I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Jesse.
Nice to meet you, I'm Jesse.
You gonna sit my hand?
I know it seems silly, but all this paranoia and the things you're going through is because y'all don't know each other sober.
And it's so exhausting.
It's exhausting. And I know that weight on you of holding your family together for 2 years. Yes. While the man you love was still on drugs was hard because I'm sure it was tempting for you to want to go back to drugs. I mean, I'm sure it was hard for you to have to explain to your kids why their behavior was erratic while dad is gone. Dad, I'm sure you are tired.
I am so tired.
I know you are. And I know that you are sad because you made her this tired. And I know that you're sad after hearing that you lost your first child. That your children are going through this. But you two have to take all that other stuff from the past and unfortunately you're gonna have to find a way to release it.
We can't communicate at all right now. Yeah. Yeah.
And the reason you can't communicate at all is because you were still talking to a drug addict and he's now trying to talk to you as someone who's sober and he's playing catch up. You're gonna have to be patient because I can tell you're willing and this sobriety journey for you is gonna be a, tough road.
Yeah.
But you have a supportive woman and I do believe you wanna be better for your kids.
I do.
But when she's saying to you how she feels, instead of sitting quiet, you have to just acknowledge. So when she said earlier, like, "You never said I'm sorry," you gotta say, "You're right." If you really wanna fix this relationship, you have to own it. There was things that you couldn't see when you were in your cloud of drugs that she's telling you every day. Affected her in a negative way. So when she says this happened, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna acknowledge it.
Perfect. But I do think that in this moment while you're in separate homes, I think it is important for you all to relearn each other, start dating again, start to get to know each other and let that past, that drug addicted past start to fade away so you can build a new future together sober for your kids. Does that make sense? Yes.
Absolutely.
Good. Y'all gonna be all right. I have a strong feeling Y'all gonna be all right. As long as drugs don't come back in the picture, y'all are gonna be all right. Also, I wanted one thing before I go. Make sure you communicate with your kids what's going on because I'm sure they're confused.
Yes.
And they're very, very smart. They know, they pay attention to everything.
Yeah, I think y'all, as y'all are really learning each other, y'all need to relearn your kids, especially you. You gotta relearn them. Absolutely. Because part of that helicopter dad thing is because you don't know your kids 'cause you were in a cloud for 2 years and you were in a cloud for 2 years 'cause you were grieving.
Yes.
And you're still grieving? Yeah. You know that, right?
Yeah.
You need to get help for that. You want some therapy for that? Yeah? I'm gonna get you some therapy for that. 'Cause you're still grieving. But y'all are gonna be okay. What are your thoughts right now?
I'm just grateful. I'm grateful.
What's making you grateful right now?
Just to be here and to have an opportunity to be a father that I want to be.
Yeah.
That my kids deserve.
Yeah. You're going to be that father. You already are that father. But now that you're out that cloud, you can start grieving. Here you go. You'll be good. There you go. Thanks. You'll be good. It's going to work.
He always tries to be just the manly man. He does.
I could tell. I could tell. But it's gonna work out for you two. I'm gonna get you some therapy for your grieving. You two, now that you're both out that cloud, time to re-meet each other, time to start dating again and start acknowledging what she's feeling. And I think you'll make it. All right?
Thank you.
Thank you.
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