Mom, Change Your Violent Behavior! | KARAMO

I heard you say to my producer, you think your mom needs to grow up. Those are like very specific words. How is she showing you that she still acts like a child?

She basically, she doesn't do things a mother's supposed to do. She doesn't, you know, lead us. It's like she's following us, like we're the adults, you know? She asks us for things to support her habits. When we don't have it, you know, it's, oh, I hate you. "Y'all selfish," you know, stuff like that.

So you feel like if she doesn't get what she wants, she says she lashes out?

Yes.

Okay. Tell me about her posts on social media.

It's a lot. She puts on there she hates us, we drove her to do drugs.

Your mother wrote, "I see what my trouble has been all these years, children." I'm telling, "I'm telling the whole Florida state I'm gonna make news for real if any one of my daughters raise their hand up to hit me. They all have done some very disrespectful blank to me. Tried to act like I am the problem. Drove me to drinking, drugging, and prison." Your mother feels as if you all are the issue.

Yes.

Okay, what is your response to that? 'Cause I see that made you emotional.

Yes, it takes a lot 'cause we've been dealing with this all our life. She's been in and outta prison all of our life. You know, putting men before us. It's just been so much, you know? So it's just like, I don't even know how to respond to that. It's like I'm immune to it, you know?

Yeah.

It's, this is what she say all the time when we can't be there for her.

Yeah.

To support her habits. Like we're, we're grown. We don't have to do anything for you.

Yeah. Tell me about your mom's temper.

Her temper?

Yeah.

She has a temper. She gets very angry. And I'm not gonna sit up here and act like I'm innocent. I have said some things that I should have never said. But as a mom, you lead me the right way. I didn't have that.

So.

Have you ever told her that? Like you feel like she doesn't love you?

I can't.

I can't.

Because what happens when you try to talk to her?

She overtalks you. She don't wanna listen.

What happens when you try to express your feelings at all? Does she hear you at all?

No.

Even when you were a kid, did she hear you?

She wasn't really there as a kid. We was always with my aunts. Like she was always in prison. The little time we did have, you know, I'm not trying to say she's the worst mom, you know, but it's just like, it's no getting through to her. It's her way or no way.

Yeah. You seem like you're being cautious right now. Is it because you know your mom's about to come out?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, I know your fiancé, Will, is here in the audience with us. Will, how you doing?

Stand up for me, Will.

So this is your wife. I know you're at home with her. How's this affecting your wife?

It's gotten pretty bad. Yeah. Like when I first met Malika, their relationship was kind of like rocky. So I used to always ask her like, "Yo, why your relationship so messed up with your mom? Why you do her like that?" Because like I told everybody else, I come from a two-parent household. I'm a mama's boy. I love my mom to death. So.

Yeah.

All right.

So, as they would go through certain things, I was just like, "Don't do your mom like that. Give her a chance. Maybe she'll come around eventually." But as time kept going past, and I've been with her 5 years, so. For 5 years, it just got worse, you know? And like, it's crazy because when her mom did go to prison last time and I was with her, we had her kids, her mom's kids. And like, you praised us, you loved everything we did for your kids. Like—

What's interesting is that you actually, from what I just heard, were taking up for the mother, saying, please be nicer to her, please do these things.

Yeah.

They were like this.

I always been on her mom's side since, Day one, like, we actually had a pretty good, like, cool bond before all this stuff started happening. Like, I don't know if she feel like we owe her something or what the case may be, but everything used to be good.

Thank you, Will. I appreciate that. Thank you for the perspective. So what do you want from your mom?

I want her to learn accountability. I need her to, I mean, I would love an apology. And I will give her one as well. I really want my mom to get help. I just don't want nobody to hurt her or her to get hurt, you know, 'cause her anger. I really want her to get help. And me too, you know, 'cause this has affected me a lot.

[Speaker] Yeah, I can imagine. All right everyone, well listen, I'm here with Malika who says her mom Michelle needs to change her violent behavior before it destroys their family. And I wanna hear what Michelle has to say about all of this. Everyone, please welcome Michelle to the show.

First of all, I love you. If this building catch on fire, this will be the first one I save. Let me say that first. I said that too.

This my child and I love her.

I love you, I wouldn't hurt her. And for you, we in the right spot for me to talk to you. Yes, I deal with a lot of anger issues because it didn't start with me.

It didn't.

It didn't start with me.

So why is it with your children though?

Your children, you say you hate your children. She got her time to talk.

You said you hate your children, though.

Where did that come from?

I would never stand on my two feet and tell my kids I hate them.

She had her time to talk.

Let me hear your perspective.

Let me speak.

Yes, I would love to hear your perspective.

I'm talking to him right now.

Okay, he don't have nothing to do with me and your relationship.

He shouldn't even stood up, 'cause he already know the issue.

What's the issue?

First off, you know what?

What's the issue?

I'm gonna tell you something. You know why I'm angry? Because I had them, I pushed them out.

So we owe you something?

You owe me to do right.

I'm doing right.

I'm not in jail.

I'm not in jail. I'm not doing drugs. I'm doing shit. You do drugs.

I'm doing drugs right now.

She stole my car as an adult. Oh my God.

And what have you done?

Stole my car as an adult.

And what have you done? Accountability.

Accountability.

Let me do this because the thing is, if you really want my help, I have to hear her side. So please tell me your side.

First of all, I got 6 girls and 1 son. Split me down in 6 pieces, I'll be good, okay? But when you have children, I'm out there fighting battles that's not mine.

'Cause you gotta hang with your child.

Would you hush? That's your problem. That's your problem. She got one spanking all her life. And when she stole my car, that was the second one.

I never stole nobody's paint.

At 20-something years old. I should've been whooping her. You're very disrespectful.

How you expect me to respect you when you don't respect me?

Never, Del. Never. I've been to prison. I've been to prison 3 times. Ask them why. Why?

Y'all keep me in some shit. You've been in prison before we was even grown.

Y'all keep me in some shit. Well, that was from my sister the first time.

Okay, come on now.

But the second time and the third time, these damn kids out there fighting everybody.

Particularly her.

So now I'm running around with a gun trying to kill everybody about you.

'Cause you don't know how to act and you don't know how to respond.

It's no exception when guys are beating you up.

Oh my God. Why are you hanging with him?

Mr. Karamo. Mr. Karamo.

Grow up.

The police let me come through. They were at the bar fighting. Mm-hmm.

Oh my God, because your daughter that's on drugs jumped on you and I tried to help you.

Listen.

Let's be real.

She don't want to see your problem. You feel entitled, bro.

I feel entitled?

How? How?

How I feel entitled?

I don't know. You tell me how.

I don't know if you noticed, I sat quiet here for a very specific reason. Because I can tell, I understand, I see a lot of the patterns from your own past, the things I'm listening to, language of protection. I'm listening to what you've been doing because I wanna make sure you know that I'm hearing you first of all, and that I see you.

Now I gotta listen.

And so I wanted to make sure that you had a point where you didn't feel like you had to defend, defend, defend, that you could just say, this is my piece, this is my story. So you can acknowledge that you have a temper?

Absolutely.

I want to because now that I've heard you, I think I can navigate this better with you and Malika. But I have to ask you, if I bring her back out, would you be able to do it?

I ain't finna do nothing to my child.

I know you not.

I just want her to see her, I want her to self-reflect. Mm-hmm. I'm not going for anything no more.

So are you ready to repair your relationship with her if I can help that?

If you can. But see, I ain't on drugs no more. It's a difference. See, I'm gonna tell you, when you on drugs, you think stupid.

But you're clear now?

I'm clear now. And see, I'm gonna tell you something, and this is God's honest truth. You can't make me shame 'cause I do that enough for myself. Understand me? So ain't no child gonna come in my life and grow up, and I watch you grow up, I know your fears, I know what you courageous in, I know what you capable of doing to make me feel like garbage. You can't do that. Because I am who I am.

Okay.

And I admit every wrong that I've done.

Before I bring your daughter back out here, can I ask you for one thing?

I already know.

Just one thing.

Yeah.

What's one thing?

I ain't finna do that.

The thing I'm gonna ask you for is can I give you a hug?

Oh yeah, you awesome as hell.

That's what I want from you. Okay, that's really what I want.

Thank you, thank you. Oh, you smell so good.

Thank you.

Drain up your soup now. Got me all flushed and stuff.

All right, I'm gonna bring your daughter back out.

What would you wanna do about this situation? You wanna keep being mad or you wanna accept the fact that I'm your mom? I'm not mad. And I gotta accept the fact that you're my adult daughter.

I'm not mad.

I'm mad. Why are you mad?

What are you mad about? Express it.

I'm mad because after all the years you know me, how could you think I'm disloyal? I never thought you were disloyal. How could you count me out of my solidness, bro?

No, Mom, it's just some things you do, you don't know how to handle things.

I never was taught to handle it the right way.

And this is why I'm trying to teach you. You know you can learn from your kids too.

Absolutely, I learn every day from y'all. I learn from my son.

I'm trying to teach you I'm trying to teach you it's more than places than Clearwater, Florida. I'm trying to teach you it's more than what you're doing.

I don't think you need to talk, Malika. You know I done been to places. But it's like, Mom, you are the best father. I can't follow somebody that's acting blind.

No, I'm not blind.

I'm blind now. I say that's acting blind.

But listen to me.

I'm sweating and my nose running and my eyes watering and all kind of stuff.

We got you, we got you, we got you.

I still look good?

You still look good.

Okay.

Communication.

Well, I don't know how to talk.

Yes, you do. You been out here talking all day.

I have?

Yes.

Why you brought me way up here?

Because you need to get away from Florida, that's why.

I don't like what's going on.

Mom, I told you I did what I had to do You took her to the doctor for real?

I got all her paperwork. I had to violate my daughter. They did, I gave the hospital your number.

They say you did not answer.

So I think this one, 'cause that's a big piece of contention for y'all. I think when y'all get home, show her that her grandbaby is protected. That's what she just needs to know. Show her, say, look, I took her to the doctor. These are the things, because then that absolves this relationship and this, this chaos that y'all got going on there?

I need it to stop from when we go home. I don't want this just 'cause it's here. I want it to go with us.

So let me tell them that.

Your mother, she said earlier that she only feels like you say you love her when you need something. You don't need anything right now. Can you tell your daughter I love her?

I love you.

I love you too, Mom. I always loved you.

Look, I'm gonna take this step forward.

I dealt with all that violence, I'm gonna take it a step further.

I need you to know that I love you, okay? And it scares me when I have to worry about y'all.

I can't sleep. I be worried about my children.

Okay, I get it.

Because I done been their mama and their daddy all they life.

Yeah, you've been a fighter your life. You just know how to protect.

I love you.

I know you do. We just got some things. But this, it feel good. This all feel good.

It really do.

Yeah.

It really do.

It really do. You know I don't mean no harm. I know.

So why you get so, uh, hawk?

Well, listen.

Because when it come to my grandbaby, you didn't hear me.

Can you, can you—

I heard you.

So that's why I said you gotta make sure that she knows your grandbaby's safe.

She know her grandma. She asks about her all the time.

I know, I know.

She know her grandma. It's clarity. My poof.

And the communication has broken down, but I like that we're to start here. I do wanna do, can I offer this to you? A little therapy?

No. Yes.

Yes.

Please. Because I think—

Sometimes you gotta stay, be angry a little bit.

No, no. I think that the anger—

I've been quiet all my life. They used to bully me.

I know.

I'mma bring it all out. They used to beat me up growing up, y'all. I know.

It ain't serving you no more.

You need professional help.

But it don't bother me no more.

I know it don't.

And I need some therapy too.

You want that?

Yes.

'Cause I can get that for you too.

Yeah? You'll go?

You'll go. You'll go.

I have been working on a lot, so.

Well, she says she need therapy, so she's admitting to it. I think that the love is here and the fact that you all are willing to get the therapy, that you're willing to go.

And I wanted to tell you thank you. Karamo, because a lot of people brush issues off like this, so they'll get it together. Some things you gotta let other people, you gotta hear somebody else. You gotta hear, and I like how you did. I like just the pleasantness of it. And you got deep down, you got to it, like take accountability.

I appreciate you.

I appreciate you.

I appreciate you.

I know you like, oh, I ain't taking no accountability. I'm not, everything they fault. But no, you know, I like how you said it to me. 'Cause some people, the way they say things, and that's a part of my problem too, is how you say things.

I get it.

And you use the same tone. You might be mad and still have the same tone.

You know? Listen, I'm just happy that I could be here to support y'all. I really do think y'all are great. A great, great woman. And I think that there's just been a lot of pain here. I believe in y'all. Can y'all give it up for them for the work they just did? Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.