In this episode of KARAMO REACTS, host Karamo mediates a heated confrontation between Brandon, a young adult, and his mother Quayda. Brandon describes a long‑standing, toxic relationship marked by verbal abuse, accusations that he is worthless, and a lack of affection, while also revealing an absent father figure. Quayda responds with defensive, hostile language, repeatedly telling Brandon to "keep your mouth closed" and expressing hatred that she claims stems from his behavior. Karamo repeatedly emphasizes that "love should never be tough," arguing that what is often called "tough love" is actually abuse. He guides the pair toward vulnerability, encouraging them to hug, to express love louder, and to make concrete commitments to improve their interactions. The segment highlights the emotional impact of physical affection, the importance of viewing adult children as still needing parental care, and proposes a commitment‑based framework for accountability in healing strained family bonds.
Chapters
You talk too much. You talk too much. Keep your mouth closed. Keep your mouth closed.
Love should never be tough. I don't know who came up with that saying, but love should never be tough. There's no such thing as tough love.
Me and my mom have a harsh relationship. Like, I love my mom, but at the same time, we have bad times. Like, me and my mom, we argue a lot. We have a lot of disagreements. I guess like a lot of love is not there.
Oof. I'm killing that Obama suit. Y'all stop playing with me. Why not gotten voted best male talk show host, best dressed? Okay, because ain't nobody even coming close to this game.
Okay.
Yeah. And like, she tastes— Yeah, I love my mom. I have a lot of love for my mom. I do. And I want her to understand that. She probably— I know I do a lot of stuff that hurts her, but I love her a lot.
Yeah. What are types of things that she says to you?
Like she says that I'm not gonna be nothing, I'm gonna be like my dad, or I'm gonna be a bum or something like that. Or she'll be like, if you keep on being out in these streets and hanging out with these people, you're gonna die. She tries to manipulate my brother and tells him things like, Like he'll do something and then he was like, she'll be like, "You probably got that from your little brother." Or, "You probably got that from watching him and doing what he do. You don't wanna be like him." That makes me feel like you don't want my little brother to like me or something like that. You know what I'm saying?
Has she ever told you that she doesn't like you?
Yeah, she was like, "I hate you." She said, "I wish I never had you." But what do you need from your mom today? For more love, more understandingness, and just for us to get along. I don't wanna argue every day. I just want all love. That's it.
Well, listen, Brandon says he's not the reason why his relationship with his mother, Quayda, is so toxic. He says he's not the one who needs a reality check, that it's his mother. Let's hear what she has to say. Everyone, please welcome Brandon's mom, Quayda, to the show.
Brandon, you make me hate you. I don't hate you. You make me hate you because of the things, how you talk to me. And stop lying and telling these people, making me look like a bad— I do everything for you.
So we all just heard this young man talk about what he's feeling, about how he's been told that he's not good enough, that he seems like he's somebody else. And the mother comes out and immediately tells him to be quiet, shuts him down. I mean, it was a clear indication to me that this is the dynamic where the mother is fed up. There's nothing that this young man can do at this to show her that he's trying to grow. And that's a problem in relationships because once you've gotten to a place where your wall is so far up that you can't see through it to see that somebody is growing, whether it's slow or not, then there's never gonna be a relationship that's ever gonna become healthy because you're constantly looking at them through the lens of how you always saw them in the past and not for who they are in the moment or who they're trying to be. And that was pretty sad for me.
All this talking, I can't talk to you. You talk too much. You talk too much. Keep your mouth closed. Keep your mouth closed.
Okay, so this moment where she talking about you talk too much, that's also language that she probably heard at one point in her life.
How you doing? I love this child, but it makes me, the things that he do makes me hate him.
It makes me mad. Can you imagine telling your child something like that?
I don't hate anybody. Of course I'm gonna yell. If I don't feel like he listening, if I don't feel like he listening, then of course I'm gonna yell, duh. And see why he talking about, I don't want my other son to be out 'cause he's smart, he's in band, he do stuff. This boy don't have no interest in nothing. He don't have no— And you somebody make this face.
I have interest in a lot of stuff.
No, baby, you do.
I'm not gonna make it like I'm just super smart, but I'm trying to work on myself.
Brandon, what are you interested in doing?
I'm trying to be a musical engineer. I wanna go to college so I can be, yeah. You wanna do music?
You wanna be a musical engineer?
Yeah, 'cause I love music.
What's your relationship with your father like right now?
My father, we don't even have a relationship. Me and my dad don't have a relationship. We don't.
When was the last time your father told you he love you?
I don't even know.
So you see me asking, when was the last time your mother hugged you? When was the last time your father hugged you? And it's because it's important to remember this is still a child. And I think sometimes we forget that just because they're 18, 17, 19, 20, even 21, even that they're grown, or because they may be a certain size that they're grown, because they may be speaking to their parent in a way that maybe be like, oh, you act grown, you're looking grown, but these are still babies. And so at the end of the day, for me, anytime kids walk out on my stage, I don't care how old you are or how you've been labeled, I still see an innocent child that has just been treated a certain way by the world. When I ask them about the love you're receiving, it's to see like, do you even, are the people in your life seeing you as a child? Or is it, have everyone just labeled you as this menace, this adult? Because it's still a child. And when a child tells me they haven't been hugged by a mother or their father, that's because the parents in their lives are not seeing them as children anymore. And that's a problem. That's the first step in recognizing that there needs to be growth and a rewiring of how you're looking at and treating your child. Let me tell you something, anytime I look at my baby, I don't care, right now my son is 27 years old. Anytime I look at him, there's moments that I'm still like, you know what? He is a new soul on this earth and he doesn't know what he's doing. And as much as I wanna be upset, upset or aggravated or it's like, my job here is to guide you. And yes, you know, even me as a 42-year-old man, sometimes I'm like, I didn't know this before. And people look at me and I'm like, but I always look to my mother to say, do you still see me? Do you still see this? The fact that I'm just a new soul in this world that I don't really know what I'm doing and that I just need a little bit more patience and love right now and a little grace versus like some tough love. And let me tell you something, I always tell people all the time, love should never Love should never be tough. I don't know who came up with that saying, but love should never be tough. There's no such thing as tough love. There's love that's compassionate. There's love that's patient. There is never tough love. Tough love means that you are being abused. The first step is, is your son needs a hug. Because even when— You take the first step, Mom. Love him louder. Okay.
Give me a hug, Mom.
I love you, Brandon.
I love you too. And that poor baby break— breaks down. My poor baby breaks down.
You gonna do better. Okay.
How'd that feel?
That felt great.
Look at that sweet little boy. That is a child. I can get teary-eyed again right now looking at that. You're tearing up. Yeah. The little boy is tearing up. The reason I made them hug right there is because it's important to show people. Like, at the end of the day, this is a kid. He just wanted his mother to hug him. That's all he wanted. You come out here saying he's so tough, he's all these things, and in a moment of getting a hug, he has tears rolling down his eyes. There's something about physical touch that boosts your endorphins, that just makes you feel more connected to those around you, especially your mother. And so this isn't a great example for people at home to see, like, Just one moment of instead of showing this like, I'm gonna have this, we're gonna be in this cantankerous relationship, just saying, I'm gonna show you compassion. How it just broke this child's energy into something that's beautiful and special. Can you commit right now to doing two things? The first thing is when you're feeling angry and when you feeling like, oh, I'm upset and you about to go off, can you just do one thing for me and say, hey mom, I need to figure out how to be vulnerable right now. One thing that you see constantly on my show is at the end of any type of relationship or conversation is I tell people they gotta make a commitment because the first step in healing is making a commitment of what you can do to be better. So I'm telling him, you gotta make a commitment to this. I'm telling her, you gotta make a commitment because now it allows them to hold each other accountable for like, we both said we're gonna be committed to this. It's like in your own life, if I say I'm committed to picking up somebody and you're committed to putting the gas in the car, if I walk in to get in the car and there's no gas and I'm on my way to pick 'em up, Now you've broken your commitment. Now we have a conversation about why you broke your commitment versus like, you never do this, you never do that. Commitments allow you to have healthier conversations. And again, my show's all about talking and growing. So commitments allow you to understand I have to be able to hold myself accountable. And if I'm not, then we need to talk about it. Can you hug your baby every day no matter if you happy or sad or if he makes you mad or if you feel confused? It's your job. To love him louder than whatever he's doing. So one of the things you've also heard me say on my show a lot is love me louder. We need to love the people in our lives a little bit louder, and especially when it's someone young. I love the fact that this mother and son were able to have a conversation. They were able to talk. And I hope so many other family members are able to look at that and say, oh, maybe I need to embrace my child. Maybe I need to love them louder. And maybe we both need to make commitments of how we can be better.
