Mom, Stop Blaming Us For Dad’s Death 🥲💔 | KARAMO

All right, our guest Anita suffered a heartbreaking loss just 2 months ago when her husband James passed away. But an already devastating situation turned unbearable when Anita's daughters blamed her for their father's death. And Anita says one person is responsible for losing the love of her life. She blames her daughter Brittany. There is so much to unpack here. Everyone, please welcome Anita to the show. So first of all, Anita, I have to say I'm so sorry. I know it's been 2 months since you lost your husband. I'm really sorry about that. How have you been holding up?

I ain't. You're not?

Mm-mm.

I just stay in my room in my bed and look at the picture where I talked to him like that and now.

Yeah.

It's just sad, lonely.

Tell me about your husband, James.

Beautiful man. I loved him. He was the world.

He was, yes. Y'all had a great relationship?

A beautiful relationship.

So, I like that I got a smile out of you when you talk about—

I love talking about it.

But there was something that my producers told me, that you blame your daughter Brittany for your husband's—

Yeah, because she said that we was all in the living room, we was in our— just talking and stuff and he was just laying in the bed. And she said that she could have, you know, kind of like helped him, saved him or something because she could have gave him the oxygen, put the oxygen machine on him, but she left and she didn't do that. And that's the only thing that kind of like hurt me on that part.

She should have. So your husband was needing oxygen? He was on an oxygen tank?

No, he would've known if they had brought one to the house in case he needed it.

Oh, got it. And so you're saying that you all were in the living room, he needed it in that moment.

She said when she went to the restroom in the room where he was that he needed, she said felt like he needed it. She said, "Dad, I'm finna get your oxygen." But she left out the door, she didn't give it to him. And when I went and used the restroom, it's like he kept like gasping, but when I said, "James Hudson," he didn't respond to me. So I jumped and got in the bed with him, put my hand to his nose, did stuff, did nothing. And, but she was gone already. But then I had to call and let her know, "Your daddy gone." So I feel like you could have helped me. You could have saved him if you would've If it wasn't your time to save him, you know, you could have been.

Got it. Okay. So how has James' passing affected your relationship with your kids?

Terrible. They love their daddy more than they love them me. They didn't love me. They don't love me the way they love him. Oh wow. Because it's whatever he say, it went with them. But now I can say something, it don't go. It's a whole different story.

So what are you here today for?

I'm here to get some help to save my family with them. I wanna save us.

You do wanna save your family?

Yeah.

You do wanna save it? So you don't like this dysfunction that you're in?

No, I do not.

Yeah, okay. Well, I wanna go ahead and meet one of your daughters. I wanna meet Sabrina. Everyone please welcome Sabrina to the show. How you doing?

I'm fine, how you doing?

Good. What should I say? I know it's been hard for you 'cause you just lost your father too. 2 months ago. Sabrina, were you close with your father before he passed away?

Yes.

How close?

Very. We talked, we— I can ride by the house in the mornings, he's up on the porch. He's able to talk to without judging you. He'll give you good advice on what you need. My daddy been there. He's always been a father. Yeah.

But do you think that your mother is great as well? You know, I think you told my producers that she's such a giving person.

She does, she gives to Jamie and Bebe sometimes whenever they need it. Only when they borrow my money and they don't wanna pay back and I want my money back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But your daughter's saying they're giving, you know what I mean? I know you're, I hear your point of view, but your daughter's saying you're giving. Your mother's a giving person?

Yeah.

Yeah. So even though you love your father, you also see the good in your mother?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always help. Before my daddy passed, like he always said, Sabrina, no matter what Sabrina needed or what they needed, No matter if I had to go to work or whatever, I was always come through them. He told everybody that in the family. So sometimes I don't feel like she see it though.

Yeah. Okay. Do you wanna heal your family? Is that why you're here?

Yeah, 'cause that's what my daddy said before he passed. He said he want everybody to be together. 'Cause at the end of the day, all you have is your family.

Well, I wanna bring Jamie to the show right now because I'm trying to figure out why there's this issue. Jamie, come on out.

She's evil. She's evil.

You said Jamie's evil?

She's evil. There we go.

Jamie, welcome to the show.

How you doing?

I'm good. Your mother just said that she thinks you're evil. How does it make you feel to hear that?

I'm not evil, she evil. Like, it's, it don't feel, I don't wanna cry. Hold on, tissue.

Here, tissue. I never hear you. How did it feel to hear that voicemail from your mother?

Okay, since I hear this all the time, I just laughed at it. Like—

You hear this type of language all the time?

I hear it all the time, every day.

Why do you laugh when your daughters tell you this? Why do you think it's funny?

God, they funny.

Why? Girl. Jamie, do you think your mother's behavior got worse after your father left?

I don't like that. Yes, it got real bad.

In what ways?

She used to sit on the couch and mind her business, and if we get on her nerves, then she'll act up. But otherwise than that, as soon as we walk through the door, "Get out." "Get out." God, they evil. Mama, we not evil.

Is this a nervous smile?

Nah, it's about to make me go off smile.

All right, so your other daughter Crystal's in the audience. Crystal, how does it feel to see your sisters fighting like this with your mom?

Well, it makes me like, sit down. She don't care about nothing. She put on this act. Look, you see how I'm acting? She put on this act as if she want a relationship with us. She don't want a relationship with us. You see, you trying to make stuff better than it's not. Mama, don't do that. Sit down. What, what, what, what? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Why you telling her to sit down? I asked her a question. That was me that asked her. Why are you mad at her for standing? Standing up?

'Cause she gonna talk about me. 'Cause she don't like to hear the truth. And when the truth come to her, she don't wanna hear it.

Your daughter's crying.

She always cry.

How are your daughters evil? I just want you to tell me, 'cause you keep saying they're evil. How are they evil?

They is.

Can you explain that to me?

'Cause they always got something against me. She say something bad against me. Mama, I'm honest, I can tell you. I said I don't wanna become, bring her on the show to make her look bad. I really wanna work this, like make it work. I didn't wanna come here and bash you. I didn't want the audience to be like, "Oh, she a bad person." No, you making yourself look bad. You telling— I am what I am and be what I am. No, you not, because you told somebody that you know that you pushing us away. Yeah, and I told you, like, if you know that you pushing us away, why continue to do it? And you our only parent we got left. Like, why would you do that?

Everyone, can we please welcome Brittany to the show? I think it's important to have all your daughters out. Hi Brittany, welcome to the show.

Hi.

So how does it feel to hear your mom say that you're the reason for your father's death?

It hurts. It hurts so bad. But that's who she is. She blame everybody but herself for all the stuff she did. I ain't got nothing to blame myself for. You left a bad message for BB too when you went. You bet you was the one for his death. BB was at her house crying. Like, my mama, like, you can't keep doing him like that. You can't blame that girl for my daddy's death. You got that girl crying. And I called her and I was like, Mama, what you do to BB? She was like, don't be calling me taking up for nobody. This my sister and you my mama. I'm asking y'all what's going on. You let somebody else call your phone and tell you a lie. Like, did nobody say that you was dead? We don't want you dead. We want you to work. Every time I get paid, I take you out, don't I? No. Every time I get paid, I take you out to eat, don't I? No. I always, what you do? You don't show nothing, you don't care. You don't care, Momma, you don't. You wanna be lonely, do you? Do you wanna be lonely? You don't want us around, do you? No.

Brittany, you received a message from your mother that said she felt like you were the reason your father died.

No, I was in her face.

She was in her face.

We was in her house.

What was that like for you?

It broke me down. My sister had to come and sit in front of me just because. She was steady saying like, "It's your fault." And she was shaking her head like she doing now, laughing and shaking her head and saying, "It's your fault." I'm crying. I'm telling her, "Mom, it's not." Like, I already blamed myself because I walked in that room. I heard my daddy breathing like that. She said, "I heard him breathing like that all day. He been like that all day." I said, "Okay, well, Mama." I went back in the room. I said, "Dad, I'll be right back. I love you and I'll be right back." He gave me his hand like this and I was like, "Okay, I'll be right back." I didn't come back straight back like I wanted to.

I stayed with my kids and she called me like about 10 minutes later and say, "He gone." So you weren't even able to talk about your feelings in the moment because your mother immediately started to accuse you?

No, she waited. It took a minute. I'm coming to her house all day, every day.

And then one day it started.

And then that day she just said it like, And I don't feel like that's right. I told her it's not right for you to blame me and I blame myself. That hurt me to the core. Like, I can't stop thinking about that. That was on my mind all the time. It was. Like, every day.

Yeah.

But we also gotta get something clear too. My daddy knew he was dying. Somebody gotta stop blaming the other person. People like the other person. Nobody killed him. Nobody killed him.

Anita, when you came on the show, you first said, You wanna save your family. And then I saw an immediate switch as your daughters started walking out one by one. What was the switch?

Damn, she act like a child. She wanna be a child.

What was the switch? Why did you all of a sudden, you said you don't like him.

Girl, bye. Well, get off the stage. You ain't left yet. I'm not leaving the stage. Well, don't holler about it.

You miss your husband.

That's the only thing I miss.

Okay, listen. I can see what's going on here. And the first thing is you are all grieving and you have not had any time to grieve what has happened. You have lost your husband and your best friend. You have lost your father. I was taking notes as you were talking and I was realizing that, okay, she's pushing them away. She's doing things and you kept saying they love their father more. I wanted all of y'all, can one by one, can you tell your mother you love her?

Yeah, I love you, Mama. I love you, Mama. It's hard right now.

I know it's hard right now.

But I do love her.

Do you love your mother?

Yeah, I love her to death.

Your children love you. When your husband died, the love didn't die with him. The love is still here.

Well, I feel like it is.

I know you do. I know. You're grieving and you are hurting right now. But these hurtful words you're saying to your children is not gonna bring your husband back.

I know that.

Would your husband want to see y'all fighting on this stage right now?

No.

You're creating a narrative in your mind that's not true. It's not true. You are loved.

You said something right, Karamo.

Don't push your daughters away. You are loved. And you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to grieve. You gotta receive it right now. Your family loves you and it's still here. Your daughters love you. The love did not die with your husband.

Yes, it did.

It did not. It didn't. It did not. You don't have to use hurtful words and turn your back because you think the love is gone. The love is still here. Can you look at your daughters? You brought these women into this world. Look at them, they love you. Look at your daughters.

Hey, girl.

Look at your daughters, they love you. For just one second, they're happy.

She look like she mad down there. She mumbling over here. You say something. And she crying out there.

It's because they're grieving. They're grieving. They're allowed to have feelings just the way you are, but that does not take away from you and their love for you.

I don't know about that.

When your mother starts saying hurtful things to you, I want your only response to be, Daddy loved you and I love you too.

But she used to treat him bad as well.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Because what's gonna happen is you're going tit for tat. Y'all are going tit for tat right now when y'all are all grieving. The man that showed y'all all unconditional love is gone. And so now it's like, well, you did wrong, you did wrong. It's your fault, it's your fault. It's none of your fault that he passed away.

I don't blame myself.

None of your fault. I know you don't fully believe it. Your mother loves you.

I know she do.

Come sit with your sisters. You don't need to be at the audience.

Come sit with your sisters. You might better stay out there.

You're 22 and I know I'm only 23 years old.

You gotta understand, from the time I was a kid, I've been getting cussed out. I've been getting called B words, all this. When I ask her for anything, she'll tell me no. If I ask my daddy, she cussing me out, telling him, "Don't give that bitch nothing. Don't give her nothing." It's always been like that. Nobody wants to grow up like that.

I know, and you didn't deserve it either. You didn't deserve it.

We come around you like we bring you nothing but happiness and joy. Well, you say we don't. We don't. We do. And the minute she start yelling at us, she's saying us cry. All she do is smile and laugh. Are you getting happy from our pain? She's not.

She's not.

Cry now.

You gotta stop with the hurtful words. Listen, your mother just said something hurtful. This is gonna take deeper work than this moment. I'm gonna just be honest with y'all. This is more than, this is just more like y'all know this is my life's passion is helping people and I can't try to pretend I can fix this in 20 minutes. I can't. This is deeper, especially you.

I won't be involved with none of you.

Yes, you will.

Not at the domestic.

Yes, you will. No, I won't. Yes, you will.

No, I won't. You won't be back in my house, fine, somewhere, keep it clean.

Listen, everyone, listen, everyone at home. You just can't fix it in a moment. And that's what we're seeing right now. We're seeing grief and we're seeing pain. And I promise you and I vow, I'm gonna try to work with you all to help you through this. But we cannot do this right now. Sometimes things just don't have a happy resolution.

It won't be fixed after today. Not at my house. You better not even touch her. Girl, I'll take your braid out your head. You better not touch me. I'mma not do it. I'll take your braid out your head.

Listen, I'm sorry y'all going through this.

Get outta here.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hold on. Where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.

Period.