Mom, Why Did You Lie? DNA Revealed! | KARAMO

I think many people would agree that one of the hardest jobs is being a parent. And there is no rule book or one-size-fits-all guide for parenting. And my first guest Cassandra says that for 25 years of her life, her mother Nancy has been lying to her. Nancy revealed to Cassandra that the man she grew up believing to be her father was most likely not her father at all. Take a look at Cassandra's story.

Growing up for me was really tough. I had multiple father figures. Neither one of them viewed me as their own child. One of them was mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. Call me names, tell me I'm amount to nothing, call me a piece of shit. My mother, I didn't feel like she protected me the way that I feel like she should have. When I was 25 years old, my mom sat me down and said, I have something that I need to tell you. There's a chance that your dad is actually a man named David. I was shocked. I never heard his name before. Why did she wait so long? I don't see how she could lie to me and tell me that this other man was my father. It hurt, you know, it hurt my heart. So for the last 11 years, I have been searching for David, and I finally found him this year. David could have been the dad that I wanted and needed. And I need to know, is he the father that I've been waiting for my whole life?

All right everyone, please help me welcome Cassandra to the show. Okay. You're already emotional, Cassandra, what's going on? Talk to me.

Well, it's hard for me. This is hard for me. This is very hard for me.

Because it's been only 11 years since you found out about this potential man that could be your father.

Right.

What was that like for you?

It came as such a huge shock because, and almost like a sense of relief though at the same time because my father figures growing up were not good. They were not healthy, they were, they acted, they never wanted me in the first place. And for the past 11 years I've been trying my best to locate him but with no information, you know, where do you go? How do you do that?

Yeah, yeah, of course. I couldn't imagine being in that position. How did your mom even tell you about your father, potential father David?

I went over to her house and she told me, look, there's something that I need to tell you. This is really hard for me to tell you. I don't even know where to begin. And I said, okay, well just say it. She said, well, I don't think, I don't think he's your dad. And I went, okay.

Like, wow.

That had to knock the wind out of you, yeah.

It did, it was kind of like a gut punch, you know? I was just like, okay, well, where do we go from here? She's like, his name is David Hankins and he lives somewhere in Texas.

Why do you think your mom waited 25 years to tell you?

From my understanding, I think the reason why she waited is because the man who I was raised to believe was my father was very adamant that, oh, I'm her dad, I'm her dad. But he was absent. And then when he was around, he was very flaky flighty. He would come and promise the world and then disappear for years at a time.

So at that point in your life, did you ever question that maybe this could not be your father?

There were times when I was younger that I remember her telling me that my dad had long dark hair, 'cause at the time he did, and I'm like, okay, but, and didn't have long dark hair. So there was like little hints here and there, but you know, as a young girl, all I wanted was my dad.

My producers told me that you told them that you felt you were treated different than your siblings growing up. Tell me how.

Yeah, so with my then biological father, it was, he had other children that I knew about and he was very much so involved in their lives and with his grandchildren's lives. But for some reason, he just never got on that level with me.

So when did you start searching for David?

After my mom told me. For the last 3 years has been on Ancestry.

And how did you finally find David?

Through his cousins.

Wow. So on Ancestry you found like the links to somebody else?

And I just, and I messaged everybody I could. I think 6 months when I really started to finally get, 'cause it's really, when you get into second, third cousins, it's hard, you know?

Yeah, of course.

And I finally got the right people who knew David's sister and she contacted David and he actually called me at work.

Oh, nice. And what was that first conversation like?

Yeah, he reached out to me. And that little act of looking for me was just monumental. Yeah, it just made you feel wanted. It made me feel like he cared. It just, it was, it just came so natural. And I just felt like the moment I met him, he was my dad.

Have you ever told your mom how all of this hurt you?

Here and there.

So everyone, welcome Nancy to the show. Hi, Nancy. Hi. Welcome to the show.

I've been crying back there already.

What were you crying about?

It's just hard to hear all this.

What was the hardest part for you to hear?

How much it hurts her, all the questions.

You've held this information for a long time. Why did you hold that information?

It was never a for sure thing. Even after we did the ancestry, it was never a for sure thing. I was always told that he had, you know, Native blood, When we did it, she had no native blood. And I said, well, we were wrong, you know?

Yeah. So when did you actually first think to yourself that David could actually be Cassandra's father?

She was maybe 2. And my very closest friend, she had brought up David, who was currently at that time dating another friend of hers. And I was told not to say anything, not to mention it.

But then 25 years passed and you didn't say anything.

It gets to one point where you're just, how do I say it now? And I tried, I kept thinking if I could find him and talk to him, you know, the internet came up and I looked with what little information I could get. And then MySpace came up. I'm like, everybody's on MySpace. I'll find him on MySpace. And I couldn't find him there. And Facebook, you know. And I have just, I have one picture of him somewhere in a tub. So I didn't have any luck.

So why did you finally decide to tell your daughter? What was it finally that said, okay, I gotta tell you?

I just, she needed to know and I needed to realize that it wasn't about me. It needed to be about her.

Got it. So everyone, please welcome David to the show. David, I wanna know, when was the last time you saw Nancy? I saw that look.

How old are you? 36.

36.

36, 36 years?

Yeah.

Wow, what does it feel like to be sitting next to Nancy right now?

It's been a long time and it's all kind of a shock. I just wanna know why you didn't come to me and tell me.

I was told if I said anything to you that I would regret it.

That shouldn't have mattered. I mean, to me, I mean, this is a life-changing thing for a person.

It mattered to me as an 18-year-old kid by myself.

Oh yeah, I was young too. I mean, I understand.

And I did, I tried to look for you for years.

So David, were you surprised when you found out you might have a daughter?

Yeah, yeah. You know, it came out of the blue one day.

What happened with that day?

What, were you at home and all of a sudden someone called and said, "Hey." Yeah, I was, well, actually it was some, I was sitting on the porch outside and I got a text and it said, "Hey, you think you might have a daughter in California?" And so she gave me her name and her birthday. And Amy got on the internet and popped up where she worked. So I called her, "Hey." They're like, "Hey, I think I might be your dad, I don't know." Yeah. So it's really emotional for me because I feel like I've been cheated out of a lot of her life.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, I missed out on her first day of school or walking her down the aisle at her wedding, birth of my grandchildren.

Yeah.

And it really hurts. I mean, I'm not angry. I don't even know what I am. Really confused.

Yeah.

You know? 'Cause I mean, I don't want no ill will towards nobody. That's not me, you know?

If this is your daughter, you're grieving the life that you didn't have with her.

I should have been there. I feel like I should have been there for her. And for her too, you know? Hey, this is my kid.

Cassandra, why do you say that you feel like there's an undeniable bond right now between you two?

I don't know, it's been since the first time we talked on the phone, it just, we just clicked. And the conversation flowed very easily. We have a lot in common. We have the same exact color eyes. I just wanna point that out.

Yeah. What do you think about here in the middle of this, Nancy?

I think it's great. I always think that one of my biggest fears is that I would help her find somebody who would be a repeat of the same for her. So I'm just glad it worked out. And I can't give you back the years, but I'm sorry.

Hey, we can start from day one.

You know?

All right, well, David and Cassandra, are you two ready to finally know the truth if you two are actually father and daughter? Oh, please. Are you ready for this truth?

Yes. Oh my God, yes.

The DNA outcomes are in this envelope. This will say if this is your father or not. What does it mean to you to find out that this would be your father?

The world, everything. My inner child will, Be at peace. Just so much peace. I have held onto a lot of anger for a long time and I'll be able to let go of it.

If this DNA outcome shows that he's not your father, do you have other people that you have in mind? What are your thoughts?

Nope. I have nothing, so it'll be a blank slate and start all over, I guess.

All right, well Cassandra, here you go. And if you could open it and read out loud.

Okay.

I'm shaking. Okay.

Take a breath, take a breath, take a breath.

Cassandra, David is your father.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you. Can I have this?

You can have that. That's your dad right there.

I love you too.

I love you so much.

Well, Cassandra, I know that you told my producers if this moment turned out this way, that there was somebody you wanted your father to meet. Your father, your actual father now.

Yes.

Who is it that you want your father to meet?

My beautiful mini me, my daughter.

This will be your granddaughter.

So—

Are you ready to meet your granddaughter? Yes. You wanna?

Can I go get her?

Yeah, if you wanna go back and get her.

You didn't get makeup all over you.

It's been a hell of a ride.

Okay, are you ready?

Oh yeah.

How are you? I'm good. I'm okay.

Kylie, right?

Yes.

Welcome to the show. So this is a big moment. So how does it feel now? What's next for you all?

Well, unfortunately he lives all the way in Texas and I'm in Northern California. So a lot of phone calls, a lot of video calls, anytime I can. And now I've never had to split my time between two parents before.

Now you do.

And so that's gonna be a new journey. For me doing that, then I am all for it.

I love this. I have to tell you something. This is a beautiful family moment. I'm very excited for all of you. Use the connection you have to just learn about those memories, feel like you're there, and know that you're gonna be able to create a lifetime of new memories, not only with your daughter, but with your granddaughter now. And also, you heard from him already. He said he has no ill will towards you. You made the best decision you could at a time. And we actually all applaud you for doing what you need to do to protect yourself and your daughter to get to this place so there could be a happy ending. So thank you for your bravery and thank you what you did as a young mother to make yourself be better so that your daughter can be better, okay?

Thank you.

You did great. And I think y'all just keep communicating, talking. Listen, y'all keep talking. I promise you this family's gonna keep growing together. Y'all got a tear coming outta my eye. I'm so happy for y'all.

I don't think there's been a day since he called me at work that we haven't talked on the phone.

Look at that, it's because of the connection.

We got 36 years to catch up on.

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