Mom, You Hit Me with an Iron Pipe, Just Say You're Sorry! | KARAMO

Growing up, I had to do everything to raise Tamika. I made sure she got to school, had food, had money, basically everything a mom would do. But to keep in mind, Tamika is not my child, she's my little sister. And I made sure she was always okay because my mom was always yelling, discombobulated, and whooping us all the time. All the time. The abuse was terrible. When I say terrible, I'm not just saying like Scare tactic. Makes you lose your character. It's different when it's from your mom. I play the tough role. I go in mommy mode quick. It's people that would have died and went through what I went through. By the grace of God, I'm here. Out of my anger, I turned it into power. That was my only option. I healed myself. My tears are not tears of sadness. They are tears of joy. They are relief tears. And it's part of my process. Of healing. Now today, me and Tamika, we are very much divided from my mom. And I pray that that will change. I cried so much, I ain't even got no tears. What I really like today is my mom to take accountability and just realize what she did to us.

What type of things would your mom punish you for?

Everything.

Mm-hmm. Everything. Every single thing. You could do no right as a child?

If it was, it was just like, just to nudge it off. It was probably just like, "Oh, okay." Yeah. Or something like that.

Got it. When did you and your sister first report your mom for abuse and what happened?

I did it.

You did it?

I did. Uh-huh. I went and made up a lie to the DHR and told 'em to come get me and my sister.

How old were you at that time?

I was like 13.

13 years old and you're calling Child Protective Services to come and protect you.

I was like, I used to get in trouble just to get away.

Just to get away?

Yeah.

Wow. Why do you say your mom is jealous of your bond with Tamika?

Because people don't like when you put your own force to something.

Yeah.

That they can't tear down. And that bond that me and my sister got is not for nobody to come against. We fight the world, we don't fight each other.

Good job. Yeah. So what's your relationship like today with your mom?

You know, I don't have a relationship. I'm not gonna sit here and be fake 'cause I'm not a fake person. And I've tried and I've tried and I've tried. And yeah, sometimes I do wanna give up, but I don't. I don't give up 'cause I know who I am. I know where I've been. I don't know where I'm heading, I'm better than what I was and I got faith in God. [Speaker:KARAMO] Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

I'll tell you this, of course I'm always gonna be here to help you and try to support you, but I do believe in boundaries and I do believe that sometimes people get to their breaking point. And I do believe that sometimes it's healthier to walk away than to stay in something. All right everyone, let's meet Shaquita's mom, Connie. Please welcome Connie to the show. Is it true that she raised her younger sister?

How can you raise someone when something that you did not do, you can't respond to? He asked me a question. But you did not raise her, so it's like— I did raise you. What is raising then? Give me a definition of raising. I raised you. I never put a roof over your head. I gave you food. You never was without. You never did nothing wrong. It wasn't because of you though. You were a little rebellious growing up. You didn't want to listen. You still don't want to listen. I'm not gonna listen to nobody that got me in harm's way that can't think for theirself, You can't act like you grown and hide your— It doesn't matter if you're grown or not. You have to respect everybody else's mind. You don't respect people. You wanna go on that mother level, but you gotta understand that you gotta respect your children. You gotta respect their mind. You gotta listen to them. Don't come out here being something that you're not, 'cause it's not gonna go well with me. He asked you a question, how you bein'? You can't tell him how you gonna be a mom. And you can't sit in the corner. That's what mamas play their role in. They make sure the house is okay. They don't sit in the room and cry and let everything be cut up in your house. Ask Tamika. Mm-hmm. And you know what? I have enough of this. Ooh.

What do you say about Shakita talk about being abused by you? Was that true?

What abuse did she say? That she was abused by me? She said that. How do you be abused? You be abused for being disciplined to your kids? You don't beat them. You have never been in the system and you have no bruises. Quita is a liar. She likes to lie. She can lie real good.

But are you saying she's lying about everything that you did?

Yes, I raised my kids. I raised them to the best of my ability. I love my daughters. They never suffered for anything, even though I went through hard times. But who's the angriest? Anger shows what's in you and how you are, because you don't want to let go. Forgive. You're grown, grow up. You never raised Anybody.

So you think that the reason she's angry is because she can't forgive you?

Ever since she, she can't forgive. Mm-hmm. Like I said, I never said I was perfect. I am not perfect. I went through things, but there were never abuse.

Do you think you were too hard on your daughters when they were growing up?

No.

No.

No, not because of the rebellions and the things that she did. And Meka was the underdog. She was my youngest. She would always follow her.

Did you treat your daughters the same from your opinion?

No. They are different. No, she don't, she don't, she don't. What is the same? Tamika is better than me, always been better than me. I'm gonna get the worst whooping. And guess what? When I was little, guess what I would tell her? You can whoop me and beat me as long as I can go back outside. Am I lying? I will take the whoopings and the beatings as long as I can go back outside and be free. She gonna say I'm lying 'cause she don't want y'all to know what I told y'all. 'Cause you guys are strangers to her, but you guys will get what. You can entertain a stranger, entertain an angel. So I'm gonna be real with you guys.

So you do not think you treated her differently? Do you think you gave her more whoopings?

Ask my sister. I bet she ain't gonna lie about me. No, I didn't give her more whoopings. You're right, 'cause there was beatings. I never beat you. I never was abused. Hold up, hold up, let's get to this. Hold up, hold up, let's, let's, when you say something, it's good to prove a point. Okay, if you didn't beat me. She hit me in the mouth with an iron pipe. Okay, let's keep it real. You hit me in the, oh, so you didn't give me these stitches and I called the police? That is not an iron pipe. That was an iron pipe you threw. Admit what you did. Is it a fact? Yes, I did. I went to jail. You can be mad at me. I went to jail. I went to jail. For a proper cause, 'cause you put your hands on me for nothing. What things like, don't beat me. Because of her mouth, I did.

But my friend, can you stop calling that an iron pipe? What was it?

I can't remember exactly what it was. How can I not remember what you did to me? And it did, I did do her mouth, but I was angry. I've overcame all of that. I've grown, I've learned, and I love. And I love her.

Could it have been something that was in the house? Could it have been—

It was an iron pipe, baby.

Iron pipe?

It was an iron pipe, baby. I'm telling you, I don't make up stuff.

I believe you. It was an iron pipe.

And she told me what she did. She said, I brought you in and I'll take you out. Now you won't take me out of no home. Yes, I did say it. I said it. You won't take me out of no home. I brought you in and I— It was her mouth because of rebellion. It's like your brain don't make you wrong, But I never abused you. Yes, I whooped your butt. Why would you, Karamo? Because you was rebellious. You are very rebellious.

So how old were you when you went to jail for hitting her?

I don't remember, maybe in my 50s.

And how old was she?

13.

She was 13?

Yeah, maybe. 13, I remember everything, I write everything down. She was 13? Yes.

So at 13 years old, you hit her, you don't remember with what, but it was severe enough. Yes, I'm not questioning you, I'm saying for her.

When I went to jail.

That you went to jail because the police thought it was When I went to jail at the time, it was called out for someone else.

And at that time, if I hit her at the time, her mouth had already healed. And when this situation was going on— No, I called it for you. No, I ain't calling you with nobody else. I'm gonna tell you. For someone that I called out for. I called out for you 'cause you swung the pipe. What's called with me? Did she say punch me? Oh, we ain't talking about what you had your man find us. We had to help you find— That's a whole different ballgame. Now we can go to another episode if you want to now. 'Cause we done helped you find everybody all our life. That's why we so strong and we ain't gonna give up.

Well, listen.

You wanna holler about growing up, but you have never, you have never ever just said, well, I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for this. And you still wanna keep coming with, listen, I'm your mama and you gotta grow up. I'm sorry. I am not a perfect parent. Babe, I ain't never said you were. I went through stuff that maybe I can't explain, but I'm here to say that don't make it right. But forgive me, 'cause I'm only a human being, and I love you, and I love Meka. Can we grow from here? Can we do better? Can we love each other? I love you regardless of what. And I love you too. I love you regardless of what.

I think it's time to meet Chiquita's younger sister, Tamika. Please everyone, welcome Tamika to the show.

I hate to come back to the lounge.

How you doing? I gotta ask you, what was your childhood like? Was it abusive?

I'm not gonna say it was abusive, but it was overrated. She didn't get beat like I beat.

Did your sister get different treatment from you?

Yeah.

She did, she did. In what ways, from your opinion?

Oh. We was rebellious as kids too. So I ain't gonna say everything just was on my mom 'cause it was on all of us. Like, but we did get excessive whoopings and for sometimes I thought that it was, I felt like it wasn't right 'cause sometimes we didn't even know what we was getting whoopings for.

So she's saying that they would get beat and they didn't know why.

Okay, for instance, if I told you, you should be in that house at a certain time when that light comes on, you was about 15 and she was about 13. At that time, no matter how you felt about it, yes, I would come down the street. I wouldn't beat you, but she would run on and take us and go on in the house. No, she wouldn't take us. She'll run and hide. She'll run in front of and hide. She'll take us and go. As long as I can get my whooping to come outside, I'm good. It wasn't a beating. It was a lick. Like, like, it was out of respect. It's like everybody just got anger built up in them. I don't have anger. Like everybody just got so much anger built up in them. I don't got no anger. You angry at me?

Yeah.

I do.

I understand. Do you feel like you caught in the middle?

Yeah, all the time.

Yeah. And you're a mom now. Do you think this has made you see your mom different today?

Yeah, like a lot of approaches that my mom tried with us, I don't use those approaches on my kids.

Oh, so you don't?

No. I would never. I would never.

What would you wanna see get fixed in your family?

For us to have better understanding, like talk and listen to each other. Like everybody just don't have to be so opinionated all the time. It's like I'm always caught in the middle. And yes, my mom says sorry a lot, but it's like saying sorry don't even matter sometimes when you go back and do the same thing constantly over and over and over again.

Do you feel like you do the same things over again that you've said sorry for?

No.

Do you think you can respect your daughters?

Yes, I can respect them and I want the same thing. Respect and boundaries. Uh-huh.

Yeah.

But you know, in order to get something, you have to give it too. But don't nobody cross your boundaries until you cross the boundaries though. You cross my boundaries when you talk to me any kind of way. You're getting in me and my sister's business. You cross my boundaries when you criticize me. You're jealous. You're jealous. No, I ain't jealous. I love all of you. There's no jealousy in my life. See, that's what it is. Nobody can't talk to you. I'm just, I'm just feel like talking to her. Is it your jealousy? You're never gonna admit when you wrong. I feel like I've been speaking so much as a parent, but I feel like if I don't speak and say something, they gonna be like— That's your feelings though. That's your feelings. You done had us just sitting there looking dumb and acting like you don't know what the fuck's going on. But God knows what's going on.

Give a cover for Devil.

Give a cover for Devil. I don't wanna say God. No, I love Shaquita. Fake. I love Shaquita. Fake, Karamo. Why would I not love my daughter? Well, you show me that you love me, I accept it. But by you saying and being two-faced like that, I can't.

Do you think you show her that you love her?

No. She say I don't show her love. I'm telling you the truth, I know you don't. Tell me what is love. I get attacked first. She need to tell me what is love. How can I tell you something you ain't never gave me? Nobody can't tell each other nothing 'cause nobody never listen. I don't know how y'all be just talking about listening like that. Y'all don't never listen. You gotta tell me. I'm over all this.

She doesn't know what love feels.

She don't congratulate us. She don't never say I'm proud of you. Am I lying, Tamika? She never say I'm proud of you, Tamika, for raising them 5 kids by yourself. The world gonna know about it. The universe gonna know about it. But that stranger, he ain't gonna never get— Man, I don't deal with fake people and I'm tired of fake people. And the way I met, I would've took somebody's head off. And not mine. I ain't gotta take her, listen, guess what? You know how you don't take people's heads off? You do this right here, you put a gap in it and you stay. I'm gone. I ain't coming back on no more. I admit it. I ain't coming back on no more.

She's angry.

Okay, she been angry for a long, long time.

But do you understand why she's angry? Because I can hear, I'm gonna say this first. I understand from what I just heard and I've been taking notes and without the notes, I can only gather what your life has been through. And I understand, I can understand probably the way you were raised, that you were raised where it was, there was like strictness, there was rules, you got beat, you got told certain things. Am I wrong? Please tell me.

I did not get beat, I did not get abused. I got disciplined.

Okay, so.

I had a loving father, but he was abusive. But I don't hold what my father or my mother did against me because like I say, there's no perfect parents in this world.

Yeah. So what I was just saying—

And we all gonna feel some way whether it's right or wrong.

What I'm saying to you is you just did confirm what I was saying. Even though you're not holding against your father, your father hit you, he abused you, he hurt you.

I'm not angry.

Okay.

And I'm not bitter.

I didn't say that. If you can show your daughter's patience in saying like, I'm gonna be on your time. I'm not gonna fight. The sorry right now is not really what she needs. She needs patience. She needs to know that you're willing to let her process and not to negate anything that she's had. Could you make a commitment that if your daughter says, "I felt like I was abused," instead of saying, "You weren't abused," you say, "Okay, I hear you." Yes. If you stop defending what your daughter says and just listen, so that she can build that trust with you, y'all will have a relationship. What you thinking about?

I agree.

Okay. Well, I wish you the best of luck. I really do. All right everyone, thank you for being with us. Come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and we can keep growing. I love you all. Want more unlocked phones, DNA reveals, and family drama? Then make sure you're subscribed to the Karamo Show YouTube.