Mom, You Let Me Down For 32 Years! | KARAMO

So Jeffrey came on my show to solve a DNA mystery, but there was a lot more to this story. Take a look at it.

Yes!

How you knew that was your baby? She look just like me. You knew that was your baby. She look just like me. Don't tell me to get off the page 'cause I'm about to be the one probably take care of her.

No.

You ain't take care of your child.

What you mean?

You ain't gave me the chance. You ain't take care of your child. You ain't gave me the chance. What are you talking about? No, no. You gotta get him in your possession. You better fall back. You better fall back. You gotta get up on yourself.

This entire time right here, I would never have thought that you were his mother. Why do you think your mother's involved in this?

My mother wasn't involved with me. My mother lost custody of me numerous occasions because of her beating me. I have epilepsy because of her. My mother has been a substance abuser for the past 30 years. I was there, I was present for everything she's done, you know? She's the reason I'm on my toes the way I am. And I hate that I'm an adult, she's still doing the same thing.

Listen, I know that you're thinking that you're supporting your grandchild, but the only way to truly support that grandchild is by making sure that your son has the healing that he needs. This is generational. And so if he doesn't heal, it passes down to her. He needs comforting, he needs understanding, he needs to know he's gonna be supported right now. But I'm also gonna invite you two back to this show because until you heal this relationship, every woman you come across is gonna have to deal with this. Come back to the show and I can help y'all figure this out.

Okay. All right?

Jeffrey and his mother Tracy are back to see if they can work through their unresolved issues. So everyone, please welcome Jeffrey to the show.

Hey Jeffrey, how you doing?

Can I have a hug?

How you doing?

Give me a hug, brother.

How you doing?

Thank you for taking me up on my offer to come back.

I appreciate it. Yeah.

So tell me, why did you want to come back?

I got a lot to say. I got things to get off my chest. I'm 32 now. This has been happening as long as I can remember.

Yeah.

It's overwhelming and nobody really knows my story.

I know today you want your mom to apologize. What is it that you want her to apologize for?

I've always been mistreated.

Yeah.

I've always been mistreated. I only get happiness out of her if she's intoxicated.

I see you're getting emotional. What's making you emotional right now?

No, it's all good.

No, it's all right.

You know, it's always been that way. I've always been her ride or die, but beneficial in her ways. And I've been fighting for this relationship and trying to keep everything, you know what I'm saying? And I just can't find what's missing no matter how hard I try. Yeah.

Like, why doesn't she give you the love that you want?

Right.

Tell me about your childhood.

My childhood. When I was 6 years old, I had seen my mom only a couple times. And she has a sister who took us in, and later on we were adopted by my grandma. But things that happened before then, you know, example, my mom went to rehab, you know, while I was with my aunt, and she met a man there, she got married, and we were so happy for her. And in my head, I'm thinking my mom's gonna be different, she's not gonna be abusive to me anymore. She's not gonna do substance, she's not gonna be a prostitute no more, but you know, it's just, she's still the same person.

She was. Is?

Is. Okay. You know, it's just repeated behavior. Like, as long as I can remember, when she fell short, even when I knew she wasn't living right, but I didn't want people in our business, I had her back. My relationship with her is still not easy, because every time I allow her back in, Like the smallest detail, if she can take it and run with it and destroy me, she'll do it.

Got it. Tell me something about the seizures that you used to have.

Okay.

Did you tell my producer she caused those seizures?

Yeah, she did. I got sent to a neurologist. They told me where it came from. They're like, "Anybody hit you in your head?" And things like that. And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, my mom did it for years." She's like, "That's where it comes from." So to this day I have migraines, I have seizures, I take medication for it. I try to keep myself stress-free.

Got it. Did she testify against you?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, this is what happened. I got with someone and we went through a little something. I was young at that time. It was my first relationship. And we ended up losing my first child. And we got a second—

When you say lost your first child, do you mean that they passed away or that you lost them to the system?

To the system.

Okay, got it. I wanna be clear. And how old were you at this time?

I was about 20, 21.

21 years old. Okay.

My last day of the trial, I remember the prosecutor said, "Do you have any more witnesses?" And then it was like, "No, no, no." And then they was like, "Wait, the state has one." I'm like, "The trial's over. Like, what's going on?" Yeah. And my mom walks through the door. High as a kite. It made me so mad. I never thought she would do that to me because I mean, you didn't make these efforts with us.

How did I get there?

Literally.

How did I get to court? How did I know they was going to court?

I hear your mother in back. Do you feel like she's to blame for how you treat women?

Yeah.

Do you still love your mother?

No. I barely know her. Every time I let her in my life, she always does something for me to let her go again. This time she decided, you know, why would you come through my other child when you put me through hell with these three?

He gave me the second number.

You didn't help us.

Listen, we're just gonna go ahead and do this because hearing her scream backstage doesn't help us any. So I think it's time to hear from your mother and hear what she has to say. So everyone please welcome Tracy to the show.

Hey.

I'm serious. I'm the victim of the what? You came and picked me up to go to court with y'all. I never got subpoenaed. I walked in the courtroom with you. I dropped you off for your children.

No, time out.

Your children.

When it first started, I invited you.

Your children.

When it first started, and then she talked about that. She talked about that. Let me talk. Because my son, Told those people he didn't want his child with me all because of her past. They weren't looking at my past, but who I am today. I'm a changed person.

Mm-hmm.

I'm a changed person.

So you feel like he set you up by saying, "I want her around," and then would cut you off?

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Wow.

And that hurted me.

Why would he do that? Tell me, why would you do that?

I don't know.

I'm gonna say it.

I don't know, but you need to tell me something.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep it this simple. The same reason why my mama came with Stephanie and not her son, the last first appearance. You see what I'm saying here? I already have the whole world against me. You know, I'm going through so much, she knows all about it. And I'm gonna rephrase what she just said. So why he going through so much? Hold on, hold on, just give me one second. He put himself through that. I'm not putting myself through—

Every woman that he meet, he beats. And they lose a lot. They job, they kids, they house, they everything. And I warned them, that's how his daddy was.

Is that why you single him out and like the way that you feel about him?

So I wasn't no victim.

Is it because you feel like he reminds you of your ex, of his father? Does he remind you?

Every spit of him.

That makes sense.

Every spit of him.

Like I said, I'm sorry. Everything again, you know what?

He always want a pat on the back on everything that he do, even when he right and he wrong. And when I let him know that he wrong, I'm the victim. I'm the victim. Oh, you don't know my mama, but I'm one of them. How I got deaf? Domestic violence. How he got deaf? Domestic violence on his daddy.

Now listen.

That ain't why he have seizures.

Mr. Karamo.

He have seizures because—

I'm gonna be honest.

Let me tell you why. Taking unprescribed medication wasn't his as a child. That's why he was catching seizures. So that didn't come from—

Well, that right there, he would have needed supervision as a child, and that means as a mother, you got to supervise him. Yeah, and that's infuriating.

I came here to get this story out. I don't care what she says.

Let me tell you something about my mother. My mother would know that we're being mistreated. People would mistreat us because we're her children, just like that. We don't know why, it's always been happening.

And she's never stuck up for us. That's a lie.

She's never stuck up for us.

That's a lie.

Let me tell you something else about my mother. My mother will literally beat me to death, smallest things in the world. This is why we got taken away. I was bruised from head to toe.

Boy, that boy is lying on that TV. Bruised from head to toe. So why I didn't go to jail for all of this things that my son is saying on this TV live? I am aware of the things I did until I was 24 years old.

Because of this woman.

And it was because of her, Bruce. Tell me that.

Okay, just answer this question. Why did we get taken away from you twice then? Drogue. That was part of it.

When she got high, when she got drunk, she turned to me. She always talking about my dad. And she beat the hell outta me all the time. Oh my God. That's a lie. She used to beat me so much. Don't you believe that. God, when you about to stop trying to make yourself look good. Clean your heart, man.

Listen, man. Clean your heart.

Oh my God. You need to clean your heart.

So why I didn't go to jail? I never lied on this lady right here. So why I didn't go to jail? Let me tell you why they got you taken away.

Let me tell you what did happen to you. You got your kids taken away.

They put you back in rehab.

Listen, 2 years ago, 3 years ago.

Hey, Jeffrey.

It was a friend of mine.

You gotta calm down.

Who was going to the AA and AA program?

With me.

So when she's come to my house—

Stacy, can I ask you this? Because I hear what you're saying.

Oh my God.

Stacy, I hear what you're saying.

You the same every time when you get ready to lose your children.

She dropped my brothers and sisters on me.

The last time her boyfriend— So this the only child that you'll be? She can't trust nobody else. She always turn into me. I always gotta rescue her. I've been rescuing her since I was a little boy. And I'm still doing it. I always try to make you look like a king. And you ain't nothing but a queen.

That's your man though.

I can't beat no queen. No, that's all you do is beat women to make yourself look good. What your daddy ever did for you?

Nothing.

You either. You ain't never did nothing for me. I gave you my face. I gave you birth. I gave you birth. I tried to make you a man, but you always want to be a man. Don't get it wrong. You ain't make me That's all you wanted to do is be with him. That's all you ever wanted to do. That's it. And I'm tired. I'm tired of being a mess. I'm ready to go home.

What I witnessed immediately is that there has been so much pain on your end and on his end. Both of y'all have had a lot of pain. And I can even hear from the abuse that you went through from his father.

It's crazy. It really is.

As much as you're saying that the things that he went through are lies, he also has some truth. And so a child would not just be removed if there wasn't things. And yes, you said there's addiction, but there might have been abuse that you might not have remembered. There might have been abuse from his father and that's why they took him out. But what I'm asking you to do in this moment is just to say, you know what? Yes, you were abused. Because sometimes that pain that sticks with us as children, the same pain that's sticking with you, because I see it with you. You still in pain from all this stuff that happened to you as a young woman. But what you can do on this stage is listen to what he's been through. Can you do that for me?

Yeah.

I'm gonna listen.

If you feel like you wanna scream, I want you to squeeze my hand. Squeeze it as hard as you can. Squeeze it, squeeze it, squeeze it, squeeze it, squeeze it.

I'm gonna try to talk.

Squeeze it, squeeze it, squeeze it. There you go. No, I want—

Okay.

No, because I'd rather—

Okay, I'm gonna listen.

Because I'd rather you be good, 'Cause I'd rather you give me that pain versus you giving it to him.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

All right, so let's do this. No problem. Thanks. So we understand the disputes and where your memories and her memories differ. And what I helped your mother understand is that right now, 'cause she does want a relationship with you, she said y'all had a great relationship this summer and she wants it back. And so I've asked her two things. To listen to you and to take accountability. And if there's something that she feels like is a different memory, instead of going at you, she gonna hold my hand and she's gonna let me receive that. Because what you need right now is you need just to say your piece. But what I'm asking you is that you have to be calm in saying your piece, okay?

Okay.

You understand?

Yes, sir.

You can do that?

I can. Awesome.

Give it to me. You can tell her what you're feeling.

Okay. I've always tried so hard to prove myself to you. I feel like you really crossed the line with my children, even with Stephanie, because before I gave you that number, I said, "Have my back." Now I'm gonna tell you something really quickly.

Okay? 'Cause this is one of the things I noticed. There was a pattern. Both times that you said your mother crossed the line with the children, you invited her into that boundary. If I know somebody, the first time I invite in and I say, "Come in my house," and they wreck my house, and now I have the chance to be upset. But if you then say a second time, "Come in," and they wreck your house again, now you gotta take accountability onto your own. And so now I'm not saying that that's what she did. By the way, I'm not saying that's what you did. But what I'm saying to you is you can't keep bringing that up because what that does is takes away from your accountability in your own life, in your own situations. So what we've talked about backstage is the solution for that is next time you say, "Mom, I have something going on with my kids and I need you to come and get involved," her response is gonna be?

No.

No. Because now there's a clear boundary on both of y'all. Now keep going on with what you need to say.

I'm not responsible for what my dad did. And I just, I wanna be able to trust you. And that's a start.

[Speaker] Okay, that's a good start. Now we talked about this before a little bit, and I talked to your mother about this. She went through many years of abuse starting at 14 with your father. And so there is a lot of things where Unfortunately, the kid in her does try to reconcile the things she went through and she sees it in you. There is no reason you should be sitting on this stage today with these abuse from your ears, the hearing all the things, no reason. I know what happened to you and I'm sorry. And somebody should have been there to do that for you. But at the end of the day, if you really want him to be a better man, You gotta compare him to better mans. You can't keep telling him he's a man that you don't like. What is one thing you need an apology for that you feel that can help y'all sit on the path to start going towards a day where you feel like you can show up with her?

I apologize for everything. Everything that I did wrong to you. What I said, where I wasn't there for you, the comfort you, the shelter Whenever you think that I needed to be there, I apologize. Forgive me.

Can you accept what your mother has said? Yes. You can't accept it. Now I'm not gonna even pretend on this stage that this is healed. Hopefully what you've gotten is a couple steps. Well, I see your growth. I see what you've done here today as a mother, and I appreciate both of you for being open. Okay? I appreciate both of y'all. Seriously.

First step.

I'm gonna keep checking up on y'all 'cause I wanna see y'all continue to heal.

All right?