In this episode of Karamo’s talk‑show, Karamo mediates a painful reunion between Madison (referred to as Maddie), a daughter who was abandoned by her mother Kendra at age 12, and Kendra, who admits to a history of drug use, abusive relationships, and repeated prioritisation of men over her children. Madison recounts how her mother vanished for five months, leaving her and a sibling in the care of their aunt Camby, who later died of cancer. The aunt’s death intensifies Madison’s longing for a maternal connection. Kendra explains that she left because of a volatile marriage, personal trauma, and substance‑abuse‑related hospitalisations, and she claims she returned out of love for her children. Throughout the dialogue, Karamo probes the reasons for the abandonment, the impact of Kendra’s choices, and the emotional wounds carried by Madison. Kendra repeatedly apologises and promises to leave her current boyfriend—a concrete step Madison identifies as essential for rebuilding trust. Karamo guides both parties toward setting boundaries, acknowledging grief, and committing to concrete actions (e.g., Kendra’s departure from the boyfriend, Madison’s willingness to accept apologies if conditions are met). The episode ends with a tentative commitment from both mother and daughter to work toward reconciliation while recognising the deep‑seated hurt and the need for ongoing effort.
Chapters
Welcome to the show, everyone. Today, my guest Maddie hopes to discover the secret of why her mother abandoned her at the age of 12. Maddie says her mother has tried to reenter her life, but has never taken responsibility for leaving her at the time she needed her the most. Please everyone, help me welcome Maddie to the show. Hi, Maddie. Hi. How you doing? Can I have a hug? You are absolutely beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome. So beautiful. Okay, so sorry, I just read all that and I always like to start off by just acknowledging and saying I'm sorry. So can you please tell me what happened? You said your mom abandoned you?
Yeah, so when I was 12 years old, me and one of my siblings, it was around nighttime, we woke up, my mom was gone. Down to her toothbrush, everything was gone.
And you're 12 at this time?
12 years old, yes.
Okay.
She didn't contact anybody for about 3 months. We didn't know what was wrong with her, if she was okay, if she wasn't okay.
Were you close to your mother before she left?
Oh yeah, best friends.
Best friends.
Close, like best friends.
Are you her only daughter?
Yes.
Wow.
I'm the only girl.
Oh my gosh, so beautiful. Yes. So how long was she out of your life for then?
For about 5 months. I had moved in with my aunt.
Is that who took care of you?
Yes.
Okay.
She took care of me from 12 to about 18. That is my aunt that took care of me.
Oh, she's beautiful.
For about 7 years, 8 years.
What's making you emotional looking at that photo?
She just died of cancer.
I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Oh, that's raw. That's raw.
Now that she's gone, I really do need a connection with my mom.
Yeah.
I don't have anybody anymore. That was all I had. I would really love to be close with my mom again.
Yeah. You want that relationship?
Yes, really bad.
Did your mother ever tell you why she left?
No, but I know that she left for a man. It wasn't good. He just wasn't a good man for her.
And when she tried to come back in your life, what happened?
My aunt did not let her. We figured out that she was on drugs and we had sent her to rehab and she was supposed to be there for only 6 months, but she liked the environment and she was healthy and she was not on drugs anymore. So she decided on her own to stay.
Yeah.
And she stayed for a year and then she came back and wanted custody again and she did not let her have it 'cause she wasn't stable enough. During that time, my dad had left, so we had no choice but to stay with my aunt. And at that point, it just made me feel like I had nobody. They both left.
I get it. You know, I know that you just lost your aunt. What was her name?
Camby.
I just wanna honor Camby right now. Like, seriously, she was a great woman. And yeah, we should honor Camby. We gotta honor her. Well, listen everyone, I want to hear what Kendra has to say about all of this. Everyone, please welcome Kendra to the show. Hi, Kendra.
You gotta let the past go. Let the past be the past. Hello. Hello.
Nice to meet you, Kendra.
Nice to meet you.
How do I let the past go when you haven't even owned up to anything?
I have owned up to a lot of it.
You haven't.
I have for 3 years.
No.
I've changed everything.
You never came to my face and told me you were sorry.
Manny, I told you I'm sorry. I don't know how many more times I can tell you I'm sorry. Till I'm blue in the face?
Mom, you have chose your boyfriends over us for years. You left when I was 12 and you chose a man over your family.
No, I left because my children were very, very, very judgmental. They were very bad. They were robbing houses. They were skipping school. I was getting charged with truancy, going to do 6 months in jail. All of that.
That gives you no right to leave your children. I, I—
it doesn't. But stuff, stuff happens, and I, and I am sorry. I, I can't tell you how much I am so sorry.
You're not sorry if you still let it happen. You still choose men. Like, I don't understand.
Madison, I would choose you.
No, you don't. No, you don't.
You never have.
You never have.
So can I go back this, why did you leave at 12? I understand you're saying that the kids had discipline problems, but what was the reason behind that?
Well, I called— there was a reason behind it, I guess, because my husband, their father, wasn't helping me. I was like a single mother but in a two-parent family home.
Okay.
I worked.
Then you leave him, you don't leave your children.
Right. I wish I had done that now, but I didn't do that then.
And where were you when you were gone for those 3 years?
I met a man. I'm not gonna lie, I met a man and I'm sorry for it. I got on drugs. I was getting brutally beaten. My children knew this. I had been in the hospital numerous times.
That's your fault. You chose to leave.
And why did you come back?
'Cause for my children. I love my children.
And so when she came back, what was it about the relationship that said to you, Maddie, that you couldn't believe her, that she was back for you all?
Just her choosing a man. I don't know.
You just can't get over it?
No.
Yeah.
Because I needed her when she left. I was growing up, I was 12 years old. I mean, a woman needs, a girl needs her mom.
Mm-hmm, I understand.
My aunt had to teach me everything that I needed to know growing up to be a woman. And I needed that from her and she didn't give it. She left and she wasn't there.
I'm sorry, love. What do you say about that? How do you feel?
I'm sorry. That's all I can keep saying is I'm sorry. I've told her I'm sorry numerous times. I don't know what else to do. And I am sorry. I do want a relationship with my daughter. I have a relationship with my other children.
So do you feel like you're still doing this behavior of choosing men over your children?
Yes.
'Cause that's what your daughter feels like. Why don't you feel like that's the truth?
Why don't I feel like that?
Yeah.
Because I have a relationship with my other children. She's the only, she just doesn't want to forgive me.
So why do you feel like you need a man in your life?
Well, I don't have her. She doesn't want nothing to do with me.
Yeah. What? So because of that, you feel like, I would rather not be alone. If you don't want me, I'm gonna, I'd rather not even try to work on this. I'd rather just stay with this man.
No, I'd rather work on it with my daughter.
You'd rather work on it?
Yes, I really would.
Okay, I heard that your sister took care of her and I'm so thankful for that. Were you able to ever thank your sister for taking care of her?
I thanked her up until her dying day.
Yeah.
Yeah, she took a responsibility that you should have kept to yourself and took care of your own children and she had to do that. I don't know. She had her own 5 children and she had to take care of us. You didn't buy me my first car. She did. You didn't take me to my first high school dance. You didn't do that, she did. You didn't buy my dress, you didn't buy my heels, you didn't do my makeup, you didn't do my hair, you didn't do none of that, she did it. She's done everything.
They wouldn't let me back in your life, Ashley, you know that.
She's done everything because you failed as a mother. You did drugs, you left us. You weren't stable to take care of us. Why would she, as a good mother, let you be a mother to us and you are not stable? Why?
But when I was stable, it wasn't good enough for nobody.
Yes, it was.
No, it wasn't.
Yes, it was. We were best friends. It was good enough. You were the best mom ever. That is the mom I know.
So I know that you had a drug problem before. When was the last time you used?
Um, 6 months ago.
Okay. Kendra, I need to ask you, what do you think you need to do to get your daughter to forgive you?
I guess leave my boyfriend.
Is that an option for you?
Leave the relationship.
Is that an option for you?
Yeah.
That is an option? Mm-hmm. You would leave your boyfriend?
Well, yes, I would.
So then why haven't you?
I left the first one.
So why haven't you done that?
'Cause I don't really have nowhere else to go.
So if you had somewhere else to go, you would leave your boyfriend? So that you could start to rebuild this relationship?
I would.
Do you believe her when she says that?
I mean, I don't know 'cause I've asked her to before and she hasn't. But sitting here in front of all you guys today, she's saying she will.
Madison, I will leave him. I'll do anything you ask me to do. I just wanna move forward with our relationship. I want you back in my life.
What does this relationship mean to you?
Everything in the world. And I want you back as my daughter. Please forgive me.
Maddie, what do you need to respect your mom? What does that look like for you?
I need her to respect herself. I do.
Now I'm gonna ask you this question and I'm gonna ask you this question and I sincerely mean no disrespect. And I say that because you're an older woman and I don't wanna make you feel like I'm disrespecting you here. But do you feel like you respect yourself?
No, not really.
No, okay.
You gotta remember too, I'm a young mother. My mother didn't love me like I loved my kids and I wanted to be better than my mom was. My mom had a very bad judgment 'cause I dated Black men and 'cause I had biracial children. And I gave my kids my all for years upon years. And I guess when dad skipped out and gave up.
I hear you and I see you because I can understand the pain the place and the complexities of being a young mother dealing with not only trying to figure out how to be a mom, but also dealing with your own abandonment, but also dealing with racism from the mother and that type of rejection that comes with that. I actually believe that your mom didn't want you to have this life. I actually believe that. And I know that's hard for you because you lived it. But I think part of your healing of like understanding your mom and trying to get somewhere is that you have to understand that she had her own trauma. She made horrible decisions that she's owning up to. But because, and you pointed this out, you're very smart. You pointed out she doesn't know how to respect herself and she admitted to it. And that's a hard thing. That wall of not knowing how to respect yourselves leaves you making a lot of bad decisions. And so, but I do want you to believe and understand that she did not, I don't believe it, that she wanted you to have this bad life.
I didn't.
And I'm gonna tell you how I kind of also know this is that she had at least enough sense to say, "Stay with my sister." And that was her in the pain, that was her in the moment of unclarity, of uncertainty, still trying to make sure you were safe. I see you, I understand. So Maddie, what is the first step your mom can take today to make you feel as if you can move forward?
I honestly don't know. That's why I'm here today 'cause I need help.
But that's the work that we have to do is figure out what does it look like for you, for you to believe her sorry? Because until you believe her sorry in yourself, unfortunately you're always gonna not believe her.
So you need— I think she will choose a man again, rather it be him, rather it be somebody else. I know one day it'll happen.
Because that's what you've seen in the past.
That's what I'm used to.
That's what you're used to. So you have to trust. Only way you can accept her apology is if you can trust that she's, and give her a chance that she will leave the man. She said she's committed. The only thing I can say here is I would just ask for you to just continue to understand that what your daughter needs is for you to leave your man. She needs that. She needs to know that she's not gonna be abandoned again. And the thing that triggers her to make her think she's gonna be abandoned is the men in your life. Okay. Maybe that's a first step. Maybe there's a moment where you call and say, "Mom, I need you." And you see if she's gonna choose the man or she's gonna come to you. Is that something that could be a little bit more manageable and healthier for you?
Mm-hmm.
And if she doesn't show up, instead of getting mad or angry, you say, "This is where I need you to show up and you couldn't. So now I have to take the steps to create more boundaries." That's the language you use. Don't get upset because every time you get hurt, you argue with her. And that's just a little girl in you screaming out for more love. But the grown woman in you that I've already seen here that's strong has to continue to use her words and set more boundaries. So is that a commitment that you can respect if she makes it today?
Definitely.
You wanna make that commitment?
I make that commitment.
I know this is not the perfect ending, But there is another piece here. And normally I wouldn't say this, but I do need you to embrace. And the reason I need you to embrace is because you're both grieving. There's a big piece right now that even through this pain of the abandonment and the things that you went through in your life, you both just lost someone super important to you. And you two need each other right now. Hug your daughter.
I love you.
I'm very sorry.
You think I believe you?
Oh, you do?
Really?
Yeah, it's hard, it's confusing, but that was a step you took. I'm proud of you. Y'all are gonna be okay if you try to take this first step together, all right?
Thank you.
Seriously, you're welcome. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.
