In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo interviews Carrie, a mother whose son Cole has been battling substance addiction, and later brings Cole onto the show. Carrie recounts the escalation of Cole’s drug use—starting with Xanax at age 11, progressing to meth, cocaine, weed, and occasional heroin—culminating in an overdose at a house party that prompted her to call the police and have him arrested four months earlier. She describes the chaotic behavior that accompanied his addiction: sleeplessness, aggression, theft, and financial exploitation, which forced her to keep her purse beside her while sleeping. Carrie blames Cole’s past girlfriends for enabling his habits, while Karamo challenges that narrative and highlights the mother’s enabling patterns. Cole, who has been sober for about a month, asserts that he is changing, describes his new girlfriend Shannon (recently out of heroin), and reflects on a strained relationship with his mother that predates drug use. Karamo uses the conversation to illustrate common family dynamics in addiction—trust erosion, codependency, and the need for firm boundaries. He advises Carrie to stop enabling, set clear limits, and love her son from a distance until he is ready to seek help, emphasizing that recovery ultimately requires the addict’s own commitment.
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All right everyone, my next guest, Carrie, has been struggling with her son Cole. 4 months ago, she called the police on her own son and had him arrested. Let's find out why. Please everyone, help me welcome Carrie to the show. Hi Carrie, how are you doing?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm really good, thank you. Great for being here. All right, so Carrie, tell me what is going on, why you had to call The police on your own son?
Oh my God, I was terrified for his life.
Yeah.
Like, and I didn't know what else to do. He had been up for days doing whatever it was he was doing and the only thing I could, and he was just getting worse, like getting more manic and more just out of control and I'm like, whatever's in him, he's got to get it out of his system.
So what was he doing?
You mean drug-wise?
Yeah, or, and also behavior-wise.
Behavior-wise, he was, first of all, just not sleeping and getting more mean and, "You owe me money. You have 2 hours to give me this money or else I'm punching you in the face." And he's the sweetest, sweetest kid. I've been told he's done meth, he's done coke, he's on weed.
So how did you actually find out that he was doing drugs or using drugs?
The first, other than smoking weed, which I don't agree with, but it's more acceptable now than smoking cigarettes, was he was living with a girl at my house and my dog came into my room in the middle of the night, woke me up like making these noises that I've never heard before. I'm the last house on a dead end. I go up to let my dog out. Thinking he just had to pee. My street is filled with ambulances, fire trucks, police. Here, my son had overdosed and no one, no one thought to come and get me to wake me up. Instead, they cleaned up all evidence of the party and then called 911.
Oh my gosh.
That was the first time I realized that it wasn't just weed.
I know that feeling of finding out that, that it's hard, hard on you as a mother. How did it feel when he was locked up?
Kind of a relief because I knew that he was getting clean. I knew that he was, but I mean, but that's not the answer for him. I just, I didn't know what else to do.
Yeah, in that moment, that's the best you could do.
He had to get that out of his system, literally out of his system.
So my producers told me that you blame Cole's girlfriends. For what's going on?
None of them are upstanding, good people. They're all lazy, unmotivated, more interested in getting their fingernails done and dyeing their hair than going to work. His one has two kids and now a third one that could possibly be my son's, you know? And—
So do you think these women's, his past girlfriends, all of his girlfriends are encouraging him to do the drugs?
They're not encouraging him to be a better person. They're not encouraging him to work as hard as he can. You know, his last girlfriend was on the phone with him the whole time he was at work. You know, she would be, you know, in the background on a phone while he was at work. Hang up the phone, let him do his job.
Yeah. So why don't you trust Cole?
Cole has stolen from me so many times, thousands and thousands of dollars. I don't even lock my house anymore. And they're like, why? I'm like, everything's stolen. You know, my thief lives in my house. You know, I've bought a safe for my money and he's broken my safe and I sleep with my purse and I don't—
Did y'all hear that? A mother said she has to sleep with her purse I can't imagine being in my own house and feeling like I gotta keep my wallet next to me. I gotta sleep with my purse. What does that do to your mental state?
My son is the greatest person in the world. I love my son. He's amazing. And he doesn't, I don't understand why he does this. I don't.
Why do you make excuses for him when I ask you how you're feeling?
Because I don't know. He's the greatest thing in my life. He really is. And he's my one accomplishment, you know? And God doesn't make trash, you know? I didn't make trash.
Yeah.
And he just needs help.
Yeah. I'm gonna tell you two things. First of all is that the first of all is your son is, I'm sure he's a great man. I can't wait to meet him. But he's not just your greatest accomplishment. You are You're a strong woman who has probably done so many amazing things in your life, but I don't want you to ever think that that's your greatest accomplishment. It's because part of that guilt and part of hearing that plays on your self-esteem. You're a strong person. You have done amazing things, and I can tell you that just from hearing how you stepped up to try to do what you thought was best for your son. But I wanna now talk to Cole and get his side of this story and hear from him. So everyone, please help me welcome Carrie's son to the show, Cole.
He's so awesome. What's going on, man?
Good to meet you. Take a seat. So what do you need your mom to understand about you?
That I'm changing my life and that I'm not the person I was before.
Okay.
That it's time for me to grow up.
Yeah, so who are you now?
I'm a whole different Cole.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like I'm doing way better than I was before in life. Mm-hmm. I'm steady working, getting motivated with that, trying to get more involved.
I want you to talk to your mom. Tell your mom that you're a different Cole because for some reason she doesn't know if she can trust this.
I feel like she never been able to trust me.
Why is that?
Well, 'cause I have messed up in the past, but the past is the past. It's time to move on.
Did you have a good relationship with your mom growing up? No. What was your relationship like growing up?
I mean, she was supportive, but the arguments always happened. I don't know. We always fight about her with like taking pills and stuff.
This is even before drugs? Before drugs, what was your relationship like?
Not good. Really?
It wasn't good? No. Why?
I just feel like we can't ever communicate with each other without like arguing and like supporting each other.
I think I'm there for you. I have one of the only people in this world that have your back.
You always been there for me, but we need to work on the communication. Talk better.
So even before you were doing drugs, you think the communication wasn't good?
Yes.
What did you feel when you were talking to your mother prior to doing drugs?
That it's always a subject change with her.
What does that mean?
Like it was something she doesn't want to hear or talk about. So yell and pick something else to talk about or yell about.
Okay.
And I'm like, I wasn't even done finishing this conversation. It's time to see what's different, what's new, 'cause I have actions to show.
Okay, what about your new girlfriend?
Well, you're not gonna talk about her.
I, I, 'cause— 'Cause your mom thinks your girlfriends, girlfriends, all of them play a part into who you are, who you've become, the addiction issues. Do you think your girlfriends or the choice in women you have play into your addiction?
My past exes, yes, but not my current one, Shannon. She is like the best thing in my life right now.
Okay, hold on. Shannon just recently became Cole's girlfriend. Shannon is 2 and a half weeks out of heroin addiction. Shannon was supposed to be in rehab. Shannon was dropped off at my house by Cole's friend who is on meth. Didn't know he was on meth. Is on meth and was tweaking.
So, 'cause Cole, I wanna hear this from you. Your mother's saying that you, the women you date and the people you're around even to this day still are dealing with addiction. That there's people that have heroin addictions. You're getting dropped off by someone who has a meth addiction currently. Do you think that's healthy for you to be around?
Well, she was dropped off, I wasn't. She was left in my house.
But if a meth head doesn't want this girl, why do you? If a meth head doesn't want this girl, why do you?
How long have you exactly been sober for?
Almost a month.
You've been a month sober. So my producer said you say she always yells?
Yeah.
Okay.
Am I yelling out of fear or out of anger? Or am I terrified that my son is gonna become another statistic and be dead in my garage?
I'm not gonna be another junkie in your garage.
You didn't have the ability to say no to meth.
So?
When did you start using drugs? When did you start using drugs?
Like, I've recently started using meth. 3 months ago. That was just like experimenting and stuff. Didn't like it, so I just quit.
Okay, and what were you using before then?
Tried it for 3 months.
Huh?
You tried it for 3 months. What were you using before then?
Xanax.
Got it. How old were you when you tried your drugs for the first time?
11.
You were 11. And where did you get drugs from?
My neighbors.
Your neighbors.
11?
And that was weed, or what was that?
Xanax.
Xanax.
Who gave you Xanax?
That's confidential.
Okay, so the only reason I'm asking that is because I was trying to get a pinpoint of your relationship beforehand and where maybe the trust issues could have started. But if you tried Xanax at 11, that means since 11 you've been in an altered state. So there's no baseline of what a good relationship or good communication is.
Yeah, I really—
Because you were always in a cloud of some sense.
When I turned like 18, I started like realizing like, I haven't remembered like any months or nothing like that. But I got a good memory still of like some stuff, but yeah.
Do you value your life?
I do.
You do?
I don't think he values himself.
Do you value yourself?
No idea how amazing he is.
Well, Mom, this is the end of the day, Mom. Again, this is one of the things about addiction and rehab is that the person who is addicted has to make the commitment. When I sent my son to rehab, I didn't force him. I said to him, either you have to make the commitment to go or I have to take a step back and not be in your life. And these are some of the sort of the boundaries you have to set with someone's addiction. You're not setting any boundaries, mom. And I love you and I appreciate you for wanting to be there for your son, but until you set boundaries with him and stick to those boundaries, your son is gonna be in this cycle. The reason that he feels it, I know you're getting help for enabling, The reason he feels like he can do this and he can be callous about this and talk about this this way is because he knows mom is gonna always be there to enable him. He knows mom is gonna always be there to support him. Mom is always gonna be there. And he's already heard the stories about his girlfriends. This is one of the things that we learn about as just parents, period, but especially parents of kids who have addiction. They've already heard us say the same things over and over again that at some point he's tuned you out. He's tuned you out. He's nodding his head. He's tuned you out. So you're going through here stressing your life saying, "Oh my gosh, I want this, I want that. Please do better. Please pick this different girl." He's telling you he's not listening. So if someone's not listening, why are you still talking about it?
'Cause I care. I don't know.
But you know what is even more showing them that you care is saying, "I'm gonna care from a distance." You have to start saying to yourself, I love you, but I have to love you from this boundary. And I actually do think that it's going to help you. And the funny part is that as I'm saying this, y'all noticing he's nodding his head. Well, go.
I mean, if she's amazing, go live with her.
It's not about her. It's not about her. It's about him. So what I'm gonna tell you this is that as you're talking to him about his addiction, you can no longer bring up any of the girls. 'Cause it's not, it doesn't matter if he's with a girl that's on drugs, a girl that's sober, it's a personal choice that he has to make. And unfortunately he doesn't wanna make that choice yet. Any choice he makes is his own choice. It's nothing to do with you. But it's time for you to start making the choice to choose yourself now.
I'm trying. I really am.
Once you set these boundaries, the only thing you ever need to say to him is, "We can talk when you're ready to get help." That is the clearest thing you can say. I said it to my own son. I said, "I'm giving you a choice right now, and if you don't wanna take this choice, then we will talk when you're ready to get help." But if you keep going through the motions, nothing's changing, sister. So right now, you need to turn to your son and say, "Son, we can keep talking." We can keep talking. When?
When you're ready to get help.
Thank you. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more, period.
