My Baby Dad Won't Let Me See MY KID Unless I Sleep With HIM! | KARAMO

Your child's father won't let you see your child unless you sleep with him?

Yes, exactly. He's so controlling in that way. It's actually deeper than just us having sex. He wants to have access to me. He wants to just be with me. He doesn't want us to just co-parent like regular normal people.

How often does that happen?

Okay, it's happened. Recently, like when I was over there, because a lot of time he doesn't want me to like actually take him. So when I was over there recently, he wanted to have sex and I'm just like, no. I don't wanna have sex.

Does he have custody of your son?

So not legal custody. So I just gave our son to him. So it's not legally, but yeah.

And why did you decide just to give the son to him?

Honestly, because he told this other girl that he was talking to that he wants to have full custody anyway. So in order to just not go through like the courts or anything, I'm like, you know what? If you want to have full custody of our son, then I'll just give him to you if that's what you're plotting on anyway.

Okay. She said, okay, you clapping. You said get the custody. You said get the custody. She said get the custody.

Yeah, girl, we looking at you.

We looking at you. Oh, she said give him back his seed. Give the fathers back their seed. Okay, she said give it back. All right, listen. So what's your relationship like with your son's father?

It's very toxic.

Yeah.

It's very tumultuous, very confusing. The goal, I just want to co-parent with him. Every time I try to just pull back and just wanna be like distant, I don't want us to be intimate, he puts up a mask to have me, like to bait me. Basically.

Basically.

Got it. And he like fakes be nice. Like he fakes this character of who he thinks I want him to be. Got it. And he pulls me back in. It's very psychologically abusive.

Got it.

For the lack of better words.

How long have you been on and off?

Well, our son is 9. So like, so technically, so for technically like 9 years.

9 years, almost a decade. Okay, what was your relationship like in the past with him? Was it good?

So.

When did y'all officially end it? How many years in?

So that's the confusing part. I've been wanting to end it.

Why are you doing it though? 'Cause if you're saying you want it to be done, you can just say no. What is keeping you attached?

So honestly, I'm doing it because I feel like that's what will keep the peace.

Okay.

And on top of that, I'm not dating anybody else. I'm not being intimate with anybody else either.

Well, you say you're trying to keep the peace, but it sounds like you don't have peace right now.

No, I don't. Yeah.

Okay. I'm just wondering. All right, so you say he's psychologically abusive. Tell me how.

So first of all, he drinks a lot.

Okay.

So when he starts to drink, it's like very bothersome. Like he'll start to slut shame me and things like that. Very aggressive a lot of the times. When I try to leave too, he'll get upset when I want to leave, like physically like, leave from him.

I just wanna be sure. Do you wanna be with him?

No.

Point blank?

No, I don't wanna be with him.

You don't wanna be with him at all?

No.

Okay, other than co-parenting, you want nothing from him?

Right.

My producers told me there's a sexual kink that one of you prefers. What is it?

Yes, that's me.

Okay.

So I, I, okay. Yeah, so I'm very open. I like men and women. So in the beginning of our relationship, I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna lie. Like I also take accountability. I would invite like beautiful women into our relationship. But the thing is, Karamo, I want communication to be open. So a lot of the times he would put, like he would do things behind my back without communicating with me, without letting me know. So I didn't like that.

Got it.

So yeah.

So the kink is just threesomes? That don't sound like really a kink.

So no, it's threesomes, But it's also more so like because he's been dealing with a specific girl that's been recurring in his life, he's caused so much trauma and hurt to me. I feel like I've internalized certain pain and then it became a kink, if that makes sense. Like I've internalized so much pain and so now whenever we are having sex, I wanna act like it's not really me he's having sex with. I want to hear about who he's having sex with. Like, I wanna hear about other women.

Got it. Now that's a kink. And how does that make you feel after? After?

I don't wanna hear about it.

When was the last time you two had sex?

2 and a half weeks ago. Like, 2, 2 weeks ago.

Girl, you said you don't want nothing to do with him. How you had sex 2 and a half weeks ago?

Like I said, Karamo, it's not that simple. Like, I don't wanna have anything to do with him, but it's like, When I'm around him and I just honestly feel like I'm being coerced a lot of the times.

Okay, okay. Well, I want to meet Eric and hear what he has to say about all this. Everyone, please welcome Eric to the show. Let me hear Eric's side of this, girl. Let me hear Eric's side.

Now you know you a damn liar. What is you saying? Are you serious right now? You coming out here telling people I'm manipulating you and all this other shit. Oh my gosh, Destiny, you know dang well. How you doing, Karamo?

I'm good. So none of that true? I'm good.

No, no, none of it. All of it is embellished. All of it is made up. None of it's real.

Uh-huh. Let's be direct. She says that in order to see her son, you say that she has to have sex with you. Is that true?

Absolutely not. This is some made up shit. You understand? She comes, she knows where we live at. She can come see her son anytime she wants, but she uses an excuse, is always an excuse. Oh, I don't have train fare. I can't do this and I can't do that. You need to give me money so I can come see your child. Man, get outta here. What you be saying? Man, look, I gotta give you money for you to come to New York. Are you serious?

Everything because he gives me money one time out the month.

Girl, if the shoe was on the other foot and I couldn't get there to see my son, you would tell me I'm a deadbeat father who can't even afford train fare. That's what you would say to me.

I always come out there.

No, you don't. Without you giving me money. No, 'cause your father brings you. 'Cause your father brings you. He drives you. You don't come out here and see your child. And then on top of that, you don't wanna take him, you just come and see me for the weekend and we chill.

Last time I tried to check on my son, you told me I was kidnapping him.

You wanna know why?

Last time I tried to check on my son, you told me I was kidnapping him.

You wanna know why? 'Cause I was in the back room and I came back and I hear my door close and he's gone. You tell me where you're taking him. You just don't disappear out the house with him. I ran and caught you in the elevator with him.

You told me I couldn't take him.

I told you you were drunk. That's number one. And first of all, this alcohol thing. You are drunk. You got, I didn't see me drunk two times in my life. Now that's crazy. That's the reason why everything drinks all the time. And guess what? I got family, I got friends. We all come over, we party, we hang out.

Eric, stop lying.

I don't even start drinking until 9 o'clock.

I wanna, 'cause I'm trying to, I'm tracking all of this.

He don't start drinking until 9 o'clock.

So is, we gonna get to drinking. So I'm confused. Why are you asking for money if he has custody of your son?

Crazy. Crazy. Every time it's time for her to sock it to my pocket, she don't wanna sock it to my pocket, yo.

You spoke.

Okay.

Anyway, I feel like sometimes I need to be compensated for pain and suffering.

What pain and suffering? You act like you quit handling it.

I need to be compensated for pain. And mind you, he barely gives, he gives me $10.

$20. But most of the time, he gives me $100. Cash App, Cash App. Most of the time, he gives me $100. You go on your Cash App and look how much money you ever sent somebody.

I'm asking for money for when come over.

Eric, from your opinion, why do you think you have custody of your son?

Because I didn't wanna let her try to raise two kids by herself. And I noticed she was struggling, all types of stuff.

That's not true. Is she a good mother in your opinion?

Man, look, I would say, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and I would say she's a decent mother. A decent mother. Only because she doesn't see him. It's not a decent mother at all. She don't see him as often. She only see him. Probably twice a month. That's a lie. That's a damn— That's the truth. That's the truth. Twice a month.

We're still co-parenting, but he still comes to the house.

You don't come get him when it's time too. And you play, but the only reason I took him is because you was playing me with the co-parenting. I gave him to you. I told you. You didn't take him. Look, yes, first of all, this is the truth. You do this thing where like, oh, I'm gonna come pick him up on Tuesday and won't show up till Saturday. I got tired of that. That's a lie. That's a lie. Yeah, I'm gonna come get him and then never come and get him.

I would come get him.

And if I had to get him, I would come and get him.

Do you take care of your son full time?

Yes. I have a full-time job.

So you can't work anymore?

I can't even work because he's autistic. I can't like leave him to go get on, like he has a schedule that I have to adhere to, okay? And for you to be like, oh, you're broke, you this and that. We on a fixed income. That you spend money on liquor. You taking food out of our mouths to put your son. You spend money on liquor and weed. You don't even buy him new clothes. It doesn't matter. Yes, I do. You don't even buy him new clothes.

All his clothes that he wears is old.

I approve it, I approve it. So what are you talking about? I approve it. Stop. I got receipts.

Stop.

Why do you wanna be with her?

Because I love her from the start. Like we had a very good relationship starting off. You don't like me that much. She let her sister tell us, tell her that our relationship is toxic. I don't even believe that.

You don't believe it?

I don't, I didn't believe it at that time she was pregnant. We never fought.

You believe it now though, right?

Yeah, somewhat, somewhat.

Somewhat?

Yeah, somewhat. It's not as what it seems, you know what I'm saying?

It's not what it seems?

Every day when I fight, it's toxic.

We all know that it's toxic.

Well, I like what I like.

I ain't gonna lie.

Toxic. I love this lady. I love this lady.

I care about you, Eric. I do. I do care about you. But we have to let this shit go.

So initially you wanted to unlock each other's phones, correct?

Yes.

Okay.

Hey, I ain't got no shame in my game.

Is there a point of unlocking phones?

I'm gonna tell the truth. It don't matter. I've been telling the truth.

Because honestly, I don't understand what the point would be unlocking these phones. First of all, y'all not really together. And you already go through the phones. It sounds like that y'all just, there's no point of this, right? No point of this at all.

I wanted to see something 'cause she's been telling me, hey, I haven't been seeing anybody. I haven't been seeing anybody.

But what does it matter? Y'all not together.

We together when she wanna be together. No, no, no, no. She keeps doing this thing where, oh, we together now, and then the next week she's gone. That's so— We together now. I've been trying to leave for years. No, you have not. I've been trying to leave for years. My house, I'm not coming to your house to see about this.

This is the funny thing that I know about relationships.

Oh my God.

You know, relationships are not just for love. It's not just for you to find someone who you can be intimate with. It's also relationships are mirrors for you to see where you need to grow. And unfortunately you two are just reflecting back the same toxic behavior back to each other over and over again. And unfortunately until one of y'all shatter that mirror, y'all are never gonna get out the cycle. And the unfortunate part is, is that there is a child that is involved in this that even though you think that this is not affecting them, it truly is. And the problem that I'm having is that neither of you you actually are truly concerned about that. And I'm gonna tell you why I feel this way. And I'm not calling out of you a bad parent, and I wanna be clear about that. But what I'm saying is that your intentions and the impact of you going back and forth, you bringing in these other people, you all arguing about stuff, it lets me know that the priority is not there, that it should be co-parenting and nothing else.

And honestly, that's what I'm trying to get it to be.

No, you're not.

Karamo. Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

I swear.

I swear.

Listen.

You're not. No, you're not. Let me tell you something. I can promise you, I have seen people who have tried to get their relationship to a place where they want it to be just co-parenting. You are entangled in this and there is a small part of you that enjoys it. I watched your smile. I watched your smile when you heard it. I watched you smile when you heard this woman talking. I'm watching the behavior. I see your face and your smile. At least you're more willing to own it. You're saying, "Yeah, I do want this. I do want this toxicity. I do want this cycle." You're saying it. I don't know why you want it. I don't know why you want it.

I don't want it.

You do want it.

No, I don't.

The sooner that you can admit that you like it, maybe not want it, that you like it, is gonna be the first step that you can probably take in saying, "Oh, I do gotta be better." Because you lying to yourself saying you don't like it and then saying, "Well, he's manipulating me into sleeping with him and doing all these things." I don't believe any of that to be true. I believe that both of you manipulate each other. I think both of you throw darts at each other. I think the way that you said he's psychologically abusive, I've heard you call him trick. I've heard you call him all these other things on this stage. He has full custody of your son and you degrade him, you degrade her. Both of y'all do that to each other. And there's something that's keeping y'all attached in it and I haven't been able to fully figure it out yet.

I think we're honestly, we're comfortable with each other.

If I was a betting man, which I'm not because I trust my instincts, this is going to get worse.

Yes.

And I don't think it's gonna get worse because of y'all. I think it's gonna get worse because some of these people y'all involved with don't understand this dynamic. And some of these people are not gonna be able to handle their emotions. And so I encourage you to truly figure that out and then put your son's needs over what your wants are.

Yeah. Absolutely. Do you hear that?

Yeah.

So that means that we have to stop having sex.

You're not though.

Whatever you say.

We're gonna stop. We're gonna stop.

You're not.

We're gonna stop.

Okay. Listen, well, if you're gonna stop, I wish you the best of luck with that because at the end of the day, like I said, I do see the danger going down this path. Focus on putting your son's needs your sons first and all of this. And watch out because these people y'all involved in, I'm telling y'all, they not gonna understand this the same way y'all do. And that's where it could get worse, okay? So heed this as a warning from somebody who wants you to be better and wants you to have a family, all right? Good luck, all right? Yeah, you're welcome. All right, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back.