In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo mediates a heated conversation between two friends, Netta and Tati, about long‑standing body‑shaming and bullying within their friendship. Tati admits to calling Netta "fat bitch" and using harsh nicknames as "tough love," while Netta reveals that these comments have caused deep hurt, tears, and a loss of self‑esteem. The dialogue uncovers that Tati was originally a childhood bully, and their relationship later shifted to a workplace friendship. Both women share personal insecurities—Netta about her weight and clothing, Tati about being too skinny and having a big nose. Karamo challenges the notion of "tough love," pointing out that repeated negative remarks damage trust and self‑worth. He guides the pair through a practice where they replace insults with genuine compliments and introduces a concrete cue (“that’s a rock you just threw”) to call out harmful comments. The episode concludes with both participants acknowledging the need to change their communication style, emphasizing that true friendship should uplift rather than tear down.
Chapters
Netta befriended her childhood bully, but she says the torment continued as adult. Tati calls her fat, makes fun of the way she dresses, and says she will never be able to get a man looking like this. Well, we'll talk to Netta shortly, but let's see what Tati had to say before the show.
I call her Net, but when she pissed me off, I call her fat bitch. Netta's my best friend. We've been working together for a year now. I'm a Cancer, so I be trying to keep it real with people. I'm very blunt. Sometimes she'll be looking like a bum. Most of the time she'll be wearing pajamas. And people look at her and people look at me, and I don't want her to feel like be envious or jealous or stuff like that. I told her not to wear this. It's just her stomach. Like, you'll lose some type of weight right there, you know? Like, that's all. It's just tough love.
All right, everyone, please welcome Netta to the show. So Netta, you were sitting here, we're sitting here, you saw my reaction, you heard the audience's reaction. We're blown away by what we just heard. So I can only imagine, how do you feel?
Karamo, I'm gonna be honest. I feel like hurt inside because Ty always make fun of me because I wear pajamas and don't know how to dress. So I've been made fun of by so many people and it hurt me so that Top make fun of me because that's my best friend. And what kind of friend do that? Make fun of her own friend?
Yeah.
And I'm tired of it, like, and I'm ready to tell her how I feel.
But she was your bully at first, is that true?
Yeah, she's been my bully. She was one of the bullies.
When you were in school?
Yeah, she was one of the bullies when I was in school. She used to always make fun of, Talking about you a fat bitch, that you ain't gonna have no man.
So how did you become friends?
We became friends at work.
I gotta know this. What are the comments that Tati makes about your weight?
Oh, you got big ass stomach, you got big back, you don't know how to dress.
But who put this outfit together? You did?
Yes.
So it's cute. So your style is cute. So there's moments when like, You're going out and you choose comfort.
Yes, absolutely.
And then there's moments that you try to put yourself together.
Yes.
In a cute little situation. Right. That sound normal to me? So what happened a month ago between you and Tati?
She like, "Oh, you don't know how to dress. Like you got on fucking pajamas. Why do you got on pajamas?" And it made me feel some type of way. She's like, "You got a big ass stomach and you don't know how to dress." And I just started crying because it hurt me so bad.
Yeah, well everyone, I think it's time to talk to Tati and get her side of the story. So everyone, welcome Tati to the show. We're not gonna boo her, we don't know her side. Tati, how you doing?
Hello, how you doing?
Thank you for being here. Okay, so how do you feel about what your friend just said?
I don't be trying to put her down because like I said, I was her bully at first until I really got to know her. So I be trying to encourage her 'cause—
But do you think calling her fat is encouraging?
I mean, it's not, don't get me wrong, and I feel bad every time, but it don't be—
You have nicknames for each other?
Yeah, we got nicknames for each other.
What's the nicknames?
When she do piss me off, I call her a fat bitch. I do. I do.
And what's your nickname for her?
I'll call her like a skinny bitch sometimes.
That's how we talk. We from Chicago. I even tell her like, let's go to the gym. Both of us can go to the gym together, you know?
I gotta ask you something. Do you have any insecurities?
Yes, I have insecurities.
What are your insecurities?
My insecurities that I'm real skinny. I wanna gain some weight. I got a big nose and you know, I don't have my flaws. I got messed up flaws too.
So I wanna know how would you feel if every day she told you something about your nose?
Keep talking to me, keep telling me.
Why?
Because this my friend.
I actually don't believe that because what I do know, what I can tell you from the way that you interact, is that you have, I'm sure you got a mouth on you. I'm sure of it.
That she does.
I know it.
Yes.
And so I'm sure if she said to you every single day something about something that was insecure for you, you would stop it.
But I be trying to give her that tough love.
You said that I try to show her tough love.
Yeah, I do.
I don't know how many times I gotta tell people on this show that love should never be tough.
But it's being tough. Love should never be tough. No, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. It's being tough when you love somebody. When you don't get that tough love, It's gonna make people like her feel like, oh, she don't care. She really don't care.
You don't have to say something negative to somebody to make them feel loved and insecure.
I always say stuff negative. Do I always put you down?
Do I always put you down? I'm not saying that you do. I'm not saying that you do. But the times that you do is enough for her to feel insecure and to make her feel not good.
The thing is, like, she's not the only person that makes fun of me.
I know, but this is the person that's here. This is the person in front of me. And at the end of the day, neither of you should be making jokes about each other. She shouldn't be making jokes about you. That's why I asked you about your insecurities. It was not to highlight something that you're not feeling uncomfortable about, but it was to say, why are y'all doing that to each other?
This was made up by friends. We're friends. We've been friends for a whole year. So we know, we know, oh, we just play, oh, we just talking. You know, it's not that, yeah, we curse each other out, but at the end of the day, we're still friends.
So let me give you a real practice right now. How to switch this behavior. If you're really friends, I want you to turn to each other right now and instead of saying something that's tough, just tell her what you like about her.
What I like about you, you be on your stuff, you pretty. And don't mind me when I say that, you feel me? Like, I love you, you know you more like a sister to me than a friend. And I don't never wanna make you feel like I'm putting you down or I'm talking about you 'cause that's not what it is.
And I love you too, friend. I'm gonna always be here for you when you need me. I'm gonna always love you, friend.
So I do believe there's a genuine friendship here. But I believe that you all have been taught inappropriately what love is and how to support each other. I'm just telling you, if you can take that advice, I promise you, you'll grow as a woman, but you'll also grow in this friendship.
I promise you. I mean, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. That's how we talk. We talk like that, isn't it?
I know, but let me tell you something. I have a best friend named Trey that I talk about all the time on this show that I've had for 25 years. And the reason we've stuck around for 25 years is because we don't talk like that. There's not a point in me that I ever feel the need to wanna say something that could be disrespectful or harmful, even in playing moments. That's stuff that you gotta give up. Y'all are young, but you're not that young to understand that those type of behaviors will affect somebody. I promise you, we think that as our best friend is saying something, that's supposed to be funny to us, we don't realize it hurts even more because this is the person that's always supposed to be lifting us up, supposed to have our back. Instead of you trying to tell her, mimicking the same things other people outside the world are saying, you're supposed to give them the tools to fight back to them. And what I'm just trying to do for you right now, because it seems like your voice is stifled because you've had a lot of people that have broken your voice. So I think at this point in your life, you have to be able to hear what I'm doing and mimic this behavior. She's your friend and you love her and I get that, but you have to approach the way you're communicating with each other differently. And that goes from you insulting each other to you even commenting on her clothes. This could be a better friendship and there's room for growth here, but you have to acknowledge that there's room for growth and that the way y'all been interacting in the past is wrong. She needs you to be her rock. I am her rock. She don't need you to throw rocks at her.
I am, I mean, but it's also, but it's also.
Just repeat this at me. Repeat this. I will be your rock.
I will be your rock.
I won't throw rocks at you.
I won't throw rocks at you.
Okay.
Now listen, the first time she says something to you that makes you feel like your self-esteem is being challenged, you say, "That's a rock you just threw." Okay, I'll do that. Because that will help her to understand right now you're not being my rock. And then vice versa for you.
I never been the type to make people feel bad. I never been that type.
No. But you actually are.
I've never been that type.
I've given you all the tools you can. I wish you the best of luck and I wish you the best of luck. Listen everyone, thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and we can keep growing. I love you all.
