My Best Friend Has Drained Me Of Money To Support Her Addiction | KARAMO

So what's going on? Tell me what's happening with your friend.

So I'm here today because I'm about to walk away from my best friend.

Okay.

I am, I am. I think I'm done with it. I have lent her so much money, so much money.

How much have you actually given to Hillary?

In the last month, probably $1,000.

$1,000, okay.

$1,000.

Yeah, that's a car payment and some groceries, okay.

Car payment, you got that right. I almost lost my car too because of that.

You almost lost your car?

Yes, it almost got repossessed. That's crazy, no?

How long y'all been best friends?

For about 5 years.

5 years.

5 years, 5 years.

So this is a long-term friendship that you feel like I'm invested.

Yes, even our kids are friends.

Oh wow. So what did she say she needed the money for?

For her bills. We're two grown-ass women. Like, she could get a job too, you know? I'm not her bank.

Yeah, of course, of course, yeah.

Yeah.

So where do you think the money is going?

Well, I do feel like she's lying. You know, she tells me it's for her electric bill, right?

Yeah.

So the other day I walked into her house, her electricity's off.

After you gave her money for the bill?

Yes.

Do you think she has a drug problem, a gambling problem? What do you think?

I don't know. I think she might be using it at the casino. I don't know.

So a gambling problem. Mm-hmm. Got it. Tell me about your friendship with her, 'cause it seems here y'all are happy.

We are happy. I love her. I love her. But I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed. I had to get a second job because I let her borrow so much money, I got behind on my bills. That's not cool.

So why lend her more money? Why not stop?

Well, because I love her. You know, she's my best friend. I can't say no to her, but then I don't know. I think I might start.

Yeah. So Hillary turned over her phone to my unlock the phone investigator and you want to know if Hillary has any gambling apps on her phone. You wanna know if Hillary has a gambling problem.

I wanna know how much she's really spending.

Okay. And if Hillary's getting money from anyone else. Okay, well I think it's time to bring out Hillary and hear her side of the story. So Hillary, come on out.

You're trying to make me sound like a broke-ass bitch when—

Broke-ass bitch because of you.

You've lost your job before and you don't have a job either.

So what the fuck do you think you're getting your money from? Huh?

I get my money, I get my monthly check every month.

From me, bitch, from me.

No.

From me. All right, I'm paying your fucking bills. I ain't your grown-ass man.

Who helped pay your car payment last time?

Really?

Yes, yes.

She's lying, I think she's lying.

Let me hear what you gotta say. So how do you feel about your friendship?

I thought we were good until now. I thought that we were—

Well, yeah, we were good because I was giving you money, bitch.

No, I've given you money a ton of times. That's paying me back.

How long have you known each other?

Paying you back?

We've known each other for like 5 years.

5 years.

Our kids went to—

Yes, yes. Now our kids are probably not even gonna be friends because of you.

Ooh.

I doubt that.

Have you thought about that?

I doubt that until you need money too.

Until I need it? Okay, well then we'll go there whenever that happens.

How much money have you borrowed from Yada?

I don't know, not that much.

Not that much?

No.

$1,000 in a month is not that much?

No.

Oh, it's $1,000 a month?

In a month, I'm saying within the last month it's been $1,000.

No, it has not been $1,000. For sure. No, there's—

It's probably more than $1,000. Mom, I'm not knocking it, but that's too much, okay?

It's probably been more though.

Wow. Do you think $1,000 is a lot to be borrowing from somebody?

I don't think $1,000 is how much I borrowed.

No?

No.

Okay, it was probably like $2,000.

Okay, you think it's $2,000? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So why was your electric turned off? What happened there?

Okay, so I have all my bills that are due. And so I've paid my electric before. She just happened to show up whenever it was turned off.

Whenever it was turned off, right?

Yes.

With the money that I had just let you borrow?

Yes, and then I paid it.

Okay. Yeah.

So if she let you borrow money for the bill and then your lights were still turned off, The money clearly didn't go to the bill, so where did the money go?

What's up? What's up? So who's gonna [MASKED] now, huh?

Let me ask you this. How did you feel when you had to borrow money from your friend?

I feel like she shouldn't have to ask where it's going. If she's gonna let me borrow it, she should give it to me.

I do have to ask where it's going if I'm letting you borrow. Are you serious?

Yeah, I don't think—

Are you serious right now?

If you're gonna let me borrow it, then you should let me borrow it and not ask about where it's going.

For the things that you said you're gonna borrow it for?

Not everything is your business, Karamo.

Oh, it's not? So if you're my best friend, it's not my business? Let me know right now because I don't need to be your best friend then.

You shouldn't be asking about where it's If you're going, you should just either say yes or not.

Okay, you shouldn't be a bitch. I'm supposed to be your friend.

Yeah, and I paid you back.

You didn't pay her back.

Yes, I paid her back.

Did she pay you back?

I almost lost my car because of her not paying me back.

And who paid your last car payment?

I did.

No, I did.

With the money I had let you borrow. Why are you still trying to lie, man?

What the fuck?

Why are you still trying to fucking lie? Do you wanna be my friend or not? Like, friends don't lie to each other.

You know what I mean?

She feels like you're lying to her. Do you think you're lying to her?

No.

You don't feel like you're lying to her?

I don't think I'm lying to her.

I don't think I'm— did you hear that? I don't think I'm lying.

Well, that's the beauty of this show, because it's time to unlock the truth. Hillary, we unlocked your phone.

All right.

Oh, snap. Let's see.

We're about to find out.

All right, Yada, you want to know if Hillary has any gambling apps. Hillary says she does not. My Unlock the Phone investigators searched her apps and found that Hillary is not telling the truth. My investigator found 54 passwords saved on her phone to different gambling websites. Even though she deleted the app from the phone, we could see that there was apps on the phone.

You're just a fake-ass bitch, I swear to God.

All right, Ziaada, you wanna know if Hillary has a gambling problem. Hillary says she does not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched her entire phone for data related to online gambling and found that Hillary is not telling the truth. My investigator found 319 gambling apps Over the past 2 months, 300 sites over the past 2 months. 300?

Are you serious? Are you serious?

You wanna know if Hillary is getting money from anyone else? Hillary says she is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found that Hillary is not telling the truth. My investigator found communication between Hillary and a specific man who gave her $9,300 in exchange for pictures and videos that are sexual in nature. Well, I guess I'm not gonna get any explanation why you won't talk to me. Guess all I was good for was money. Was hoping you were different. Like I said, send me back and whatever. $9,000? Just wish that got the pics and videos worth $9,300.

That's crazy. I knew she was lying to me.

Hold on, so are you doing sex work for money?

No.

Okay then. Well, clearly not because he said that you didn't give him the pics and videos.

No.

So what are you doing for money then?

Well, I get a check every month because my husband had passed away.

Okay.

And then I work on the weekends at a spa.

Got it, okay. Let's get serious now. I can make jokes about this guy and ask for money, but the reality of it is that you have a gambling issue.

Yeah.

Yeah. And what I just heard right now is that your husband passed away. So I'm almost gonna assume that you probably didn't grieve properly. It left you feeling unstable. And when you feel unstable, you start to make choices out of like an idea that maybe I can catch up quickly. Am I hitting it on the nail?

Yeah.

Okay. But see, the problem is that your gambling problem has involved your best friend.

Yeah.

Did you know that she had a gambling problem? Did you suspect it?

I did, but I didn't really wanna confirm it.

We talked about it. She just didn't know like the extent of how bad it's gotten.

I forgot. Okay, talk to your friend right now. Talk to your friend.

Girl, you know I love you.

I love you too, but damn.

It's a lot of money.

It is a lot of money.

I see the emotion welling up. What's going on?

I feel like I just want to isolate myself.

Yeah.

And so I just try to like disconnect from the world.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I don't know why you just talk to me like, don't lie to me. Just, that's all you have to do. I don't like lies and a best friend shouldn't be lying to you.

I'm trying to be honest.

See, honesty comes with healing and you haven't healed yet. What happened to your husband?

He got shot while I was at school.

Okay.

Yeah.

So it was sudden. So this is why I brought the word security because when you lose someone quickly, your security is gone. And that is the father of your child?

Yes.

So now stability, security, all of that was gone at once.

Yeah.

And what's going on in your head over there, Yana?

I don't even know. I love her, I love her. I just, it sucks 'cause I've been struggling, you know? And for her to just lie to me and like use me, it's not cool.

Yeah, I will tell you when it comes to addiction, the addiction is I don't think it's your best friend. And this is, it doesn't make an excuse for it. It does not make an excuse for it because you still are in a position where you feel uncomfortable, where you feel like you're being lied to. But I can understand the prison that you're putting yourself in. And the hell you're going through. How long ago did your husband pass?

It's been about 4 years.

4 years.

Yeah.

And in those 4 years you felt like you haven't been able to catch up, have you?

No, it's just gotten worse and worse.

It's gotten worse and worse.

Yeah.

Got worse and worse.

Yeah.

That's a lot of money.

I know. But it seems like as our kids get older, it's like they're more into playing with each other and needing less of our attention. So it's just a way for me to just kind of cope and just kind of deal and just kind of, you know—

You do get way in there, though. I'll be talking to you and you just don't even— you're not even there. You're just on your phone and like—

What do you need from your friend that isn't money? Because you took a big step right here admitting this.

I just need her to get through this with me. Just forgive me and just, I don't know, stay on my butt, keep me accountable.

Yeah, well she can't keep you accountable. You gotta keep yourself accountable. That pressure can't go on her. But what I tell you this is what you can do for her is you're gonna have to unfortunately set a boundary right now. Now that we know there's an addiction involved, that means there has to be a boundary of no more money. And if you are gonna support her, anything that's involving the kids, so for instance, if you're like, I need to support the kids, it's gonna be directly for the kids or to the kids. Or if you're paying something, it'll be directly to it. You can't hand her over money anymore.

Yeah, I know that.

Yeah, you know that now. And you have to be okay with that boundary.

Yeah.

And you have to be okay with your friend talking to you clearly. What I'm gonna suggest to you is that next time you feel like you're drowning, next time you feel like, I don't know where my security is gonna come from, from, you come to her and say, I don't feel secure. The less that it's in your mind and you feel alone and you feel trapped, the more you can talk about it is the more you're gonna feel free and feel like people are supporting you.

Okay.

This is a real addiction. We often talk about drugs and we talk about how that destroys people's lives. Gambling and the money can destroy your life.

Yeah.

Now that you know this, everyone in your life, the first step would be for you to admit to them that you have an addiction. Yeah. Say I have an addiction with gambling because now everyone can set boundaries that is gonna support you in being your best self. Listen, I wish you the best of luck on this journey with your addiction, all right?

Thank you.

Seriously. And you got your boundaries now to set, all right? I'm glad you both have your answers. I wish you both the best of luck, all right? Thank you. All right, stay with us. We'll be right back with more.