My Best Friend’s Drinking Is Going to Kill Him! | KARAMO

What do you need my help with today?

So my friend Manny, he has a really bad drinking problem and he doesn't seem to see it. I feel like I'm the only person who cares and everyone else around him, he just, I really need your help.

Okay, a drinking problem. That's a strong accusation.

Yes.

My producer told me something happened at your house last year. What was it?

Okay, so Manny called me, he was blacked out drunk. He needed somewhere to go so I let him in my home and when he woke up, he accused me of drinking his fifth. So he proceeded to go out to my garage, grabbed a gas can, came back into my kitchen and poured it all, all over.

Hold on, he grabbed a gas can?

Yeah, full of gas and poured it all over.

Did he light the house on fire?

No.

So what happened next when that went down?

So he went back out to my garage, grabbed a baseball bat and then started beating my car and bust out all my windows.

What in the world? So did you call the police?

No, I did not call the police. I don't wanna ruin his life. I should have called the police.

Okay.

But I decided I didn't want to. I didn't wanna ruin his life. But now I'm thinking back on it as I should have. Maybe he would've learned a lesson.

Well, how, yeah. I mean, let's be real. If anybody put gas in your house, please call the police, girl. Okay, listen, I'm gonna just be real with y'all right now. Hey, that's just a tip for anybody. Somebody poured gasoline at your house, "Hey, 911, sorry, there's an issue." So how many, has Manny ever apologized for this?

He has not apologized for it.

Never once?

Never once. We actually stopped talking for a few months and then we started talking again, but he still never, never apologized.

And are you two still friends?

We are still friends.

You heard the audience, they said why?

I just can't, he's a good friend of mine, he's been a good friend of mine for many years. I can't see him just throw his life away. He doesn't care about having a job, doesn't care about having a roof over his head. He doesn't care about any of that.

Okay, and have you ever tried to set boundaries with him?

I have.

Okay, and what has happened?

I try to tell him that if he doesn't stop, I'm not gonna be around. He seems to not really care that much about it. He cares about all his other friends who just love getting drunk and it's sad. I don't wanna see a good friendship get thrown away. Over alcohol.

Yeah. Can you please describe to me from your opinion, how much or how often does he drink?

Like 2 fifths a day.

2 fifths a day?

Maybe more, maybe more.

Wow. What time does he start drinking?

As soon as he wakes up.

Wow. So what are you hoping will change today?

I'm really hoping he decides it's time to get sober.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Has he ever tried before in the past from your recollection?

He maybe lasted 3 days and it's sad. I don't wanna get a phone call one day that he's not here because he just wants to keep drinking. I don't want his next drink to be his last drink.

I got it. Well everyone, I wanna meet Manny and hear his thoughts on this entire situation. So everyone, please welcome Manny to the show. Hi, Manny.

Hi.

Nice to meet you. Oh, I'll give you a hug from here. Good to meet you, Manny.

But I wanna clear a few things up though, because you said it was a whole gas can, but it was a gas can like this big and it wasn't full. It was like that much full.

No, it was a full gas can.

It was, it was—

Manny!

From what I remember, it was a gas can like this and it was halfway full.

How you gonna remember if you're always blacked out?

From what I remember, even if I was blacked out, It wasn't all the way full.

Manny.

And come on. You said I drank 2 fifths today. I drank like 3.

Manny, you are not helping your case at all. You know, I came out here wanting to hear your side of the story, but you can't be like, well girl, I didn't pour a whole gas can. It was just this much. You know that isn't helping the fans.

I don't care about having a roof over my head. I pay my bills. I have a house.

Okay, well let's start over. So I see you're not debating that you tried to set the house, you poured gas everywhere. You're not debating. That you do say you drink 3/5 a day? Mm-hmm. Okay, so I appreciate your honesty there. I really do, because that lets me know that you're in a space where you wanna like share your truth. But how do you feel about the rest of the things you heard her say?

I don't agree with it.

And what don't you agree with?

I don't think I have a problem at all.

You do have a problem.

I don't have a problem. You do have a problem. I'm just having fun. I'm living my life.

That's— Okay.

You're gonna not wake up one day I bet I had fun the night before.

I'm watching a lot of your body language and I'm also writing down some of the things you say and it's, I wanna get the audience's comment, but before I do, there's one more person that I wanna give some insight into this and it is Manny, your roommate, Brandi, who's gonna be joining us virtually. Brandi, is she there? Hey Brandi, how are you doing?

Good, how are you?

Brandi, you told my producers that you think that Manny's aggressive. Tell me more about that.

Um, it usually— I mean, I wouldn't party and drink with him if it didn't start off fun. So it always starts off fun, but then it'll lead to— it's always usually verbal aggression.

Verbal aggression.

I'll have people over, or my sister will have people over, and he'll start insulting them, being mean for no reason. And then it'll get to, like, if you try to argue back with him, then it'll get to him, like, threatening with baseball bats And I will. Like saying he's gonna beat you up.

Got a different baseball bat for every day.

Has Manny, your roommate, held a baseball bat to your head and threatened you?

Yes.

Yes, he has.

One time.

And how did that make you feel when that happened?

You probably would've hit her if she didn't do it.

She drank.

Shelby, do you drink with him as well?

They both drink with me.

Oh, they do?

I don't like what he's trying to say.

They both drink with me, so I don't even know what the fuck you're—

I have a kid. Well, listen, this is a sticky situation where I'm trying to piece together a lot. Of what's happening here. But I wanna take this to the comments and hear what the audience has to say about this. Y'all got an opinion? Yeah, come on over. So what's your thoughts on this?

My thoughts on it is it gotta be something deeper.

Deeper how?

It's like something, you need to see somebody because basically you're angry.

I'm not angry. I have fun every day.

Yes, very.

I have my friends.

And these are some good friends because baby, you couldn't do that to me.

Why not?

They're real good friends.

I give y'all kudos 'cause I couldn't.

Well, you see people are supporting you two. Do you think that he is angry, that there's anger issues as well that are in this?

There's something deeper than what he, there's something that he's not telling us. That's why he drinks all the time. There's something there.

Shelby, what do you think it is?

I don't know.

Okay.

I honestly don't. Yeah, he's just gonna drink.

I think I drink 'cause I think it's fun.

No, there's something off.

No, you definitely need to get emotional with your friends that care about you.

There's no normal person in this world that just sits there and drinks like this all the time.

Everybody my age.

No, they don't.

Do we have anybody in here that's this age? You're this age? Okay, you're around that age, come on over.

Manny, you need to get emotional with your friends that actually care about you.

So he says that he's around your age and he says—

And I bet he'd be drinking hen dog too.

Not at all.

Okay, what do you think about when he says everyone that's in their 20s drinks like this?

I mean, I understand trying to have fun.

Yeah, I do have fun.

I'm not trying to judge you for that, but you just gotta really take your time, man, because at a certain time, your body's gonna shut down.

My body's doing fine. I take my vitamins.

Vitamins is not gonna be enough for your liver. It's definitely not gonna be enough for your liver.

You really gotta slow it down. Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you.

Manny's been in the hospital. In the hospital for his liver already.

You've been in the hospital for your liver already?

He just had kidney stones and had surgery from alcohol.

Okay, and them bitches got removed.

When did you have surgery?

Couple months ago.

Okay. Brandy said something that I thought was very interesting. She said that you don't open up emotionally to your friends. Do you open up and talk to them about what you're feeling?

No.

Why?

Why would I?

'Cause they're your friends?

I mean, there's nothing to really talk about.

Okay.

When I'm sad or upset, I tell you and I talk to you about it.

When we hang out, we drink and talk about how we're gonna have fun and then we go have fun. Why would we drink and get sad? That's weird.

Would you be sad if you lost these friends?

Probably.

Probably, or yes or no?

I don't know.

You don't know. Why don't you know if you'd be sad?

It depends. Like right now, the way they're acting, it's—

Do you have a lot of people in your life that you think that left you because of this behavior?

Probably, but I mean.

Probably.

Probably is the answer for all of us. You're gonna end up dead.

No, he has, some of his other friends have come to me and expressed that they're worried about him.

Okay, and that's none of your business. That's not your business. That's not your business. That's not your business.

That's not your business.

It's not your business. It's my business. I drink, I turn up, I'm having fun, and I'm done with this. You guys could talk. Hit me up when you want a drink.

This is actually sad because I see a very sweet person that's hurting. Like I see pain. That's all I'm seeing right now is someone who's in pain.

Yeah.

And he won't talk about it.

And he doesn't wanna talk about it. No. And I don't know what the pain is, but I actually don't see a mean person. I see someone who's in pain and who's reacting. To that pain in a negative way. But I will say this to you, Shelby, and to you, Brandy. You both have to recognize that you all are enablers. You're enabling him by saying, let's still have fun. Brandy, I think that like part of, I think maybe there's a little bit of you having a little bit of an issue as well, if I can be very honest with you. And you're not on trial here. And I think that— It's okay. You're not, no, seriously, because I don't want to, I'm not gonna dig into your life, but I will say that part of like, You two have connected because part of this behavior is like we both wanna do this. I'm gonna go talk to Manny for a little bit backstage because I need him to come back because I do wanna talk to him.

Okay, thank you, Karamo.

You heard me say to Brandy that I think she has a problem as well.

Yeah, she does.

Yeah.

If I have a problem, she has a problem, but I don't think I have a problem.

But you're on the path going that way.

Not really. I give her like 2 years maybe and I'd be done drinking. Maybe with social drinking.

You think you could just quit that easily when you've been drinking every single day? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I drank so long, so it's like if I don't drink, I feel sick. I'll wake up and I'll be sick if I don't drink. So I basically take a drink so I don't get sick. And then after that it's like, okay, well I drank already, let's party.

I understand that. So one of the things when we're having withdrawals, I used to do drugs, I used to be an addict, is that when I would want more drugs, I would say I'm gonna stop, but then I would start to feel sick. I would start to feel like, oh, I need one more of this, I need one more of that. And then I would say to myself, okay, let me just do it to feel better. And now I'm on that pattern again. And that is what most addicts feel. That's all I'm trying to let you know. But it can't feel good knowing that to feel better, you have to drink something.

I mean, it doesn't feel good, but I mean, after, like, once I'm drunk, I'm having fun. Can I just say something?

I just wanna say thank you. Because I acknowledge when people make small steps and big steps. For you to acknowledge and say it doesn't feel good was something big.

I mean, yeah, it was, but still, like, it's a problem, I guess. But I mean, it's a fun problem to me.

Because you're young and there's no consequences yet. You wanna come back out here and talk to me a little bit?

I mean, yeah.

Just a little bit. Okay, so you did just say that backstage that you recognize there's a problem to it. Did y'all recognize what your friend did?

Yeah.

Did y'all recognize it? Yeah. This is a supportive place. This is a supportive place. We actually want to see you be your best self. What is your biggest fear?

I don't know, not being successful.

Not being successful. And where does that fear come from?

'Cause I guess deep down I might have a problem and like I wanna go to school for business management, but then again, I've already tried and I started drinking so I stopped going.

Why, was it overwhelming for you?

No, I was just always drunk 'cause like I just graduated school so I was like time to turn up or die.

Yeah. And listen to that language you're saying, time to turn up or die. Haven't you been in the hospital twice? You just told us earlier.

Yeah.

And you've had surgery?

Yeah.

So do you realize that what you do to your body now is directly gonna affect how your body is at 30 and then 40 and then 50?

By that time I won't be drinking.

Yeah, but the effects of what you're doing now will stick with you. No. You do realize that? No. Or do you not?

No, I thought it just went away.

No, no, no, no, no. Unfortunately, I'm no doctor, but that's not how it works.

Oh, shit.

That's not how it works.

No, and watching you go through those kidney issues is definitely—

Seriously, I'm at a place where I really wanna see you get help. I don't want you living your life like this. This is not normal for 23-year-olds. And that you know that there's a problem to it. You know you don't wanna wake up sick anymore.

Yeah, that's like the main part. Like I just don't wanna be sick when I wake up, so.

But to not be sick, you have to get help for the drinking.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for taking that big step. Give me a hug.

Give me a big hug.

I mean, therapy is gonna be bad.

No, it's not gonna be bad.

Yeah, it's gonna be a good first step. So I'm gonna make sure you get that. You two continue to try not to enable him by if he says, "Let's go out to drink," you say, "Well, we're not gonna drink." I mean, we could find sober stuff to do. Whoa, that's a big change. Good job. Ladies, thank you so much for being with me. I truly wish you the best of luck and I want you to know that I really am here for you.

All right, thank you.

Honestly. You hear me?

Yes.

All right then. All right, friends, stay with us. We'll be right back with more. I just actually talked to him backstage and I just clicked what's going on. So he's a pandemic baby. 20 years old when the pandemic hit. He lost school, he lost friends, he lost family, he lost all ideas of can I be successful. And it didn't realize the age because for me, I'm older, I was able to bounce back quicker. In his mind, he's like, I don't have a future, I don't have a life, what's the point? And I just realized quickly that this poor guy is suffering. He started drinking during the pandemic. I'm isolated, I'm alone. It just exacerbated every fear that we all had as 20-year-olds. And so he's super excited about now getting help. Because he's realizing that he has a better tomorrow. Hold up, hold up, where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.