My Dad Blocked Me & Called Me A Backstabber! | KARAMO

About 7 months ago, I went to go visit my dad 'cause I haven't seen him in a long time and he had a baby and I just wanted to check up on him. And everything was okay for a couple days, but he kind of was super busy. He put me, he tried to put me off to my grandmother for the rest of the stay. And when he called her to ask if I could stay, she paused in her phone call. And he took that as she doesn't wanna do anything and he snapped on her. I talked to my mom about it. I want to go home. I didn't like how anything had gone down. We couldn't figure out getting me back home. So I went back to him for the last day and he talked to me and he said he didn't understand why I called my mom. And he said me calling her was backstabbing of me. It was two-faced of me. And I didn't appreciate whatever he did for me.

Hmm, okay. How did it make you feel when your father called you a backstabber?

It hurt. It hurt me a lot because I always felt like I always appreciated everything he did for me. And it undermined our whole relationship after that. And it made me feel like I was the problem. And I felt like I couldn't even talk to my own mom. I literally, I bursted into tears and I called my best friend instead because he made it seem like it was an issue for me to talk to my own mother about him.

And you're 21 years old, right?

Mm-hmm. I'm 21.

Okay. And your dad blocked your calls and blocked you on social media?

Yeah, he blocked me off everything. I have never talked, I haven't talked to him in 7 months.

And Marvin, your father, says that it's your fault that he stopped speaking to you and blocked you. What does he mean by that?

I don't know. I fully don't know because I feel like I've always appreciated that man and I grew up as a daddy's girl and I appreciated every single moment I had with him. Because it felt like I never had enough time to spend with him. And it just feels like if you can throw that away, I just don't matter anymore.

Yeah. Are you angry or upset with your dad?

I'm definitely angry. 'Cause it took me 7, it took 7 months and to get onto this show for him to talk to me.

And what do you want today?

I wanna take accountability and I want him to I want him to open his mind just a little bit more and to let me in and just know that I still love him and I still wanna be with him to be that daughter. But I don't wanna, I can't take the responsibility of our relationship anymore. He has to step up for me.

[APPLAUSE] [Speaker:KARAMO] Well, listen everyone, Kamiyah's dad Marvin is here. He's here, so everyone please welcome Marvin to the show.

Couple things she has really, is a misunderstanding. The first thing is when she came down and, you know, she said I tried to put her off on my mom, her grandmother. That wasn't the truth at all. What happened was every time she comes to visit, I share her with my mom so my mom has time to spend with her as well.

I came up there specifically to see you Me and my grandmother had plans. We said, "Yes, we'll visit for one day." You wanted me to go there for the rest of the time because you had a blackout week for your job, so I wouldn't spend the rest of my time with you.

Okay.

And you put me off onto her, but the whole point of my trip was to be there for you.

Okay.

Why didn't you just tell me to come another time? You knew that was gonna be blackout week.

'Cause—

I would've came another time.

Because I wanted to see her.

So I got a question for you, but why block your daughter?

Okay, okay. Now I will tell you this, I have just recently learned how to even block anyone on iPhone. That's the truth. I've never blocked anyone before, all right? Now mind you—

And the first person you decide to do it with is your daughter?

No, no, no, no, no. I say that because I was unaware that I blocked her. And the reason why that, because I never understood—

How were you unaware you blocked her?

Because I didn't block, I'm like, why didn't you call me directly?

You called my mom before you called me. I've not talked to you in 7 months.

Right, I know that.

On my birthday, I called you twice. I texted you 3 times.

But why would I call you on your birthday? Father's Day, you didn't call me.

Because you haven't talked to me. Why do I need to call you first?

It's still Father's Day, it doesn't matter. I'm still your father.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Wait a minute.

Father's Day. Why is it my responsibility?

Listen. Father's Day, my birthday, no call. Her birthday, I sent her money, no call, thank you. There was a lot of times that she just never called me.

But why is it my responsibility to reach out to you first? That's my question.

I just told you I called.

This is my thing, 'cause I know this is the first time you've seen each other in 7 months. Yes. If you've been in communication with her mother, why not say, hey, I've been reaching out for 7 months and I'm not getting anything, to see if she can mediate and get in between?

What do you mean? I told her mom directly. I told her mom to have her call me.

Is your mom here?

Mom is right there. I told her to have her call me.

No, you did not.

How you gonna tell me that while you on the phone? You did not do that.

So you're her mother, Tamika?

Yeah.

How are you doing?

I've been better.

Okay, I understand that. So is this true? Did, during those 7 months, did he reach out to you and say, "Hey, I'm trying to reach our daughter and I can't." So when all this happened back earlier this year, She went to go visit him.

I was out of town myself. I was sick, but I said, you know, when I get back into town, we're gonna hash this out together. We did not connect between that time. Mother's Day came. He did call me for Mother's Day. And before I realized what was going on, I was in the car with Kamiyah. I said, your dad did call me for Mother's Day. And then she just was kind of thrown back. She was like, I can't believe he called you for Mother's Day. And he didn't call me.

So on Mother's Day when he called you, did he say, "I've been reaching out and trying to reach our daughter and I can't. Will you help mediate?" He did not.

I said, "You all still need to talk.

We still need to get you guys together talking." So then if he, so that's my only question during that time.

I told you, have her give me a call. I said that to you. Have her give me a call.

So I have let them have their own relationship. Kamiah's old enough, she's had her own phone. I try not to intervene unless I have to. We've been able to have a decent relationship, Marvin and I, because I know how to disengage. But he's not my father. You're not my father, so I can do that. She only has you.

Tamika, I appreciate this perspective. Thank you so much.

Yeah.

So I'm hearing a lot of what she said. So for you, I gotta go back to the things that your daughter said that you called her. You also called her a backstabber. Why would you call her a backstabber?

Because she's at the house, we're hanging out, we're having deep conversations, we're talking, we're laughing. And then at the end of the day, she's calling her mom telling her I'm this, that, and the third, I'm doing this, that, and the third, I'm nagging, I'm complaining about this and complaining about that. Why not tell me directly? Why go call her mom when she's right there in my place?

Because you know I can't talk to you. It's your way or that's it. It's literally your way or nothing.

But why would you go and tell your mom what's going on in the house that she doesn't need to hear?

Why can't I tell my mom? My mom. Right. You're my dad. Why can't I tell my mom?

That's a valid thing. Why can't she talk to her mother about the experience? She's a 21-year-old little girl at the end of the day. I know that it's easy to say because she's 21, she's a grown woman, but she's 21. So she still needs the comfort of her mother and her father just at any age we all do. So she feels like she has a disconnect from her father and she wants to talk to her mom about it. It's not like she went on Facebook and started telling her mom about it.

But how do I know that there is some dissension in the house when she's there? I have to hear from, why don't you just come speak to me directly at 21 years old?

Because I've never grown up to be able to talk to you. My entire time being with you, I was just satisfied with just being in your presence. That was it. I made sure that I went with whatever you went with, or just to make sure that you didn't pop off, 'cause you get angry really fast. I made sure I never said anything or did anything to make sure that you didn't get angry.

How do you feel about this? She's saying that she can never talk to you, can never open up to you. Is this the first time you're hearing this?

No, I mean, you know, I'm a strict dad. Yes, I'm not saying necessarily, you know, there are times when, you know, like back when she, if I raised my voice, she would cry. So she was always fearful of just that presence. But nonetheless though, I never laid hands on her, never disrespected her, but it was always, I'm just a very stern father.

Do you think calling her a backstabber and those things is disrespectful?

Well, I didn't know what that mean. And I did say that, but obviously it hurts her. So my apologies for that.

So you don't care that you call me a backstabber?

I just said my apologies for that. I didn't know that was something that was hurtful.

But how could you not know that calling me a backstabber and two-faced 'Cause I felt that's exactly what it was.

Exactly, you're wrong. I'm right there, you talk to me. Why go behind my back and speak to your mom? Kamiah and I always had a great relationship. We always talked about everything. You know, I shared things with her. And she also said one thing when it comes to women, you know, either I'm right and they're wrong. That's not the truth.

You do act like that though, it shows.

Do you get along with other women?

Absolutely.

You know, do you feel like you control other women?

I don't know, I don't control anyone. I may have a controlling way about myself.

Okay.

But I don't try to control anyone.

But how about how you also behave with women too? I've seen you flirt with women in front of me. I've seen you body check women in front of me.

Look at a woman?

You've done it in front of me.

Okay.

And so I had to navigate my own relationships off of that. Would you want me to date somebody like you? Honestly.

Wait, that look at women?

That's a valid question. Would you want to date, would you want your daughter to date someone like you?

Yes.

You would?

Yes, I would. I'm gonna tell you why. No, I'll tell you why. Because number one, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I'm very no-nonsense and I'm very direct. I don't mislead or I don't lie to women, right? They take it or leave it. So you could look at that as something as, you know, some, you know, as being a certain type of way in regards to being, aggressive, but there's no misinterpretation when it comes to me.

It sounds like when you were growing up that you were not fully emotionally there. It sounds like you were present in her life growing up, but you weren't emotionally there. Would you agree with that?

No, I wouldn't.

Was he emotionally there for you?

Absolutely not.

But Karamo, we've had a lot of instances.

It doesn't matter how many times.

But the times that we had that were also a lot of times we spoke.

If it's the same result at the end of the day, I'm not gonna be able to talk to you. I'm not going to be able to talk to you.

This is my question for you, Marvin, because at the end of the day, I don't know the back history that your ex has talked about. All I can experience right now is what y'all are going through. At the end of the day, your daughter is telling you what she experienced and what she's feeling. And all I need to know as a father, do you want to have a relationship with your daughter? Do you want her to know that you wanna be there? Because right now in her mind, she's felt like she had to stay quiet and be a certain type of person just so that you could accept her. And now the minute she did something different, you shut her off. And so now she's feeling the rejection. And instead of you accepting that and saying, oh damn, my daughter's feeling rejected, you're pulling away more.

But you did, wait, but you asked me, but you did ask me to tell my side of the story.

And I did, and I heard it, I heard it.

And that's what I was doing, telling you my side of the story.

And I heard that, I heard your side. Like, you know, so I'm not beating you up, I'm just explaining. I'm just expressing the points and the facts that are going on here.

Exactly, okay.

Because at the end of the day, I do want y'all to leave this stage having a good relationship.

Right, so with all that said, and my side and her side, yes, I do wanna resolve everything that's been, you know, that was mentioned today. And I do see, you know, I do see some of the things that she say that I, you know, I could change, absolutely.

Like what?

You know, maybe just be a little bit more, you know, open.

Tell her.

Right, you know, you say I'm not open. "You look nice today, by the way." "Thank you." "Yeah, I like your outfit." "That's his charismatic side." "Yeah, got makeup on. Yeah, but that's good though. I love you. I've always, always loved you, all right? And I will die for you.

I get angry at times, but I'm always there for you." Are you willing at least to first of all make sure she is not blocked and committing to never blocking her again?

Absolutely.

Okay, great. Can we get your phone?

Your producers took it.

I got it right here.

Yeah.

Can you give it to him?

Yeah.

How does this make you feel that he's unblocking you?

Better.

Better.

It's a step.

It's a step. That's all we can do on these shows is take some steps.

You're unblocked.

I'm gonna tell you this though, for somebody who don't know how to block, You went to find out how to unblock real quick.

I told you I learned. You found out. I said I learned. You went through that real quick.

I learned.

You want to give your daughter a hug? Do you want to give your dad a hug?

She got tall.

It's a step. It's a step. Y'all got work to do, but it's a step. And I believe you're going to commit to this.

All right?

Thank you.