My Daughter's Father Is A Deadbeat! | KARAMO

I guess Ariel reached out to the show because she's desperate for help with her 11-year-old daughter, Kaylee. Ariel says that Kaylee's father has not been in her life and has only seen her 5 times. Ariel says her daughter is acting out and she is here for my help. Please everyone, welcome Ariel to the show. Hi, how are you doing?

I'm good, and you?

I'm good, thank you. Nice to meet you, Abrahaad. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Yes, okay, so Ariel, tell me, so Kaylee has recently been suspended from school. What happened?

She got into a fight.

Okay.

She's been bullied. She has osteochondromas along with epilepsy. She's been bullied pretty much her whole life. Been talked about how she walks, talks. She just got sick of it and she swung and beat up a girl at school.

Got it. So these, 'cause I'm not familiar with those conditions, are those familiar conditions that are physical conditions?

Yes.

Okay, so kids are making fun of her physical conditions.

Yes.

Okay. When did this outta control behavior start in your opinion?

About 6, 7 years ago.

Okay.

She reached out to her biological father to come down for Christmas. I wanna say it was either Christmas or a birthday. He said he would come, he never showed, didn't call, and She just got to this point where she just doesn't care anymore.

So it started at that point?

Yeah.

Do you have any other kids?

Yes, I have two other.

How old are they?

3 and 1.

3 and 1. Yes. Okay. And she's the oldest, obviously.

Yes.

And you've been married to Isaiah for 2 years, correct?

Yes.

What's Kaylee's relationship with her stepdad?

She's asked him to adopt her.

Okay.

We've brought that up with Kaylee's biological father, Desmond. She said that's not gonna happen. She's, their relationship is like oil and water sometimes. Sometimes they get along and sometimes she has that mentality of love is just meant to hurt. She's told him, you ain't my daddy, I hate you, hope you die. It's been a lot of different things, but it all still stems from her actual father not physically being there as long as it's been.

And so Kaylee's biological father, his name is Desmond.

Yes.

Desmond's missed out on a lot in your daughter's life.

A whole lot. Like what? Everything. First steps, first words, first day of school, first surgery, hospital stay, dental, father-daughter dance. Everything.

It's tough on you.

He's been to one birthday in 11 years and she was 8. And he was only there because I drove to Michigan and picked him up and took him.

What does Kaylee say about her dad not being around?

She actually got submitted a picture, a drawing she did. Me, her, and Isaiah, we sat and we did some artwork.

Yeah.

And she wrote how her dad makes her feel.

I feel unwanted by him. I feel upset when he lies. I dislike how he disrespects women. Did you help her with this list?

No.

Really? 'Cause some of this language sounds a little bit more adult.

Mm-mm.

Wow. Well, listen, Ariel says that her daughter Kaylee's out of control behavior is just a cry for attention from her absent father Desmond. Desmond is joining us now from Michigan. Everyone help me welcome Desmond to the show.

How y'all doing?

Desmond, welcome to the show. Is there anything Ariel has said that you feel isn't fair or true?

To be 100% honest, no. When she's speaking, when it comes down to the behavior of my daughter, the relationship with my daughter as far as not being around and things like that, that's 100% facts. That lines right up with what she's speaking about. It's just the back end of why is totally different than what it is that's being spoken.

So you're admitting that you're not involved, that you haven't been there for your child?

Uh, no, not in the context of how you're speaking. And what I mean by is, when a man calls, you have to pick up the phone. And then when the man, you know, sits at the bus station and he's being denied, you know, there was the times where I would come up there and I would make those trips.

You came to my house and caught a bus once, and she was what, 3? 11 years, and I can count on one hand you've seen her 5 times.

Okay, 5 times physically. I would say right around 5, 5 times, 6 times. And honestly speaking, maybe 4, to be, to be realistic. And maybe, maybe honestly being 4. And the reason why I'm saying that and not denying most of what she's saying is because those are facts and those are true. What the problem is, is what's missing with the story is, is When the man is sitting at the bus station and he's called and his phone calls is being denied and he's spending nights at the bus station, well, that man is not gonna spend, spend too much of his money too many times to sleep at a bus station.

When your daughter laid up in the hospital from seizures for 5 days and her daddy doesn't answer the phone, then whose fault is that? When your child is having surgery for the bone disease, you never show. Whose fault is that? When she fell off that bike and I helped her get back up, where were you?

Ariel, what you speaking from?

No, 'cause if you're gonna talk, speak facts.

Desmond, what is the facts in your eyes then?

Oh, the facts in the matter is poor communication.

Well, why do you think that Kaylee is fighting, stealing, and acting out?

Because she's dealing with the emotions from what we're seeing right now. That's not Kaylee's battle. That's the energy that was transferred from the mother down through the household.

So where were you? Where your energy?

Okay, Aries, what we speaking from right now is a point in emotion and that's the problem.

But Desmond, regardless of what communication you and her mother have, your daughter has not seen you and I'm asking you why? You said that—

My daughter has not seen me because of the lack of communication and the constant fights and the battle, lack of addresses. When the man said that he spent time sitting on the, sleeping at the bus station. When the man is sleeping at the bus station, okay, we make this travel, we make this trip and he calls and he's like—

Desmond, Desmond, I really appreciate you trying to tell—

Can I ask you something real quick?

No, one second. Desmond, I really appreciate you trying to tell this story, but I'm telling you right now, that is not a case to why you haven't seen your child. The two things that you're saying for me right now, of me and my daughter's child couldn't communicate. And then also I'm sleeping at a bus stop. I did try to show up once. That's not enough of a reason for me.

And I'm trying to figure out what y'all need. The reason why, okay, and I also wanna, I wanna object what you're talking about. The reason why it's not enough for you, because you're not walking the path. It's hard to explain to those who don't walk it.

I don't understand. Hold on, no, no, no. Before we go anywhere, I don't understand why I constantly have, particularly brother, why you come on the show and say I don't know because I haven't walked the shoes.

Y'all need to go Google me real quick, okay?

Professionally, this is what I do. And then secondly, I literally have a child. I have two sons that I have to communicate with their mother and their mother and I don't see eye to eye. Yet I am there for my children always.

And I wanna put this out here. That's TV talk. In the reality of things of walking, that's not how it goes. If you're walking the path and y'all say that, hey, I'm gonna bring you.

That has nothing to do with what he's talking about.

Desmond, I'm gonna ask you this. Do you think you're being the best father you can be to Kaylee?

If we're speaking about Kaylee, no.

That's what we've always been talking about is Kaylee. That's what we always been talking about is Kaylee. So this is the thing because Kaylee is here today and she's younger, so I've decided that I'm not gonna be bringing her out on stage. I'm actually gonna go backstage and talk to her. How you doing today?

Good.

It's a little nerve-wracking with all the cameras, right? I know even for me sometimes I get nervous with it. Have you ever done something like this before?

Yes, I did plays and my mom had told me I did pageants when I was little.

Oh wow, you're exceptional then. Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, I enjoyed the play. It's just I did one night. It was one night only because I did not want to go again.

Yeah, okay. If I can be honest with you, your mom told me that you kind of got into some trouble at school. What's been going on?

This girl kept messing with me and bullying me.

Yeah.

To the point that I got ticked off.

Yeah.

And I just beat her up.

Yeah. You got really angry. I understand that. I get angry sometimes too, so I understand that. When you get mad, who can you talk to?

Basically, I have this—

Are you able to talk to your mom or your dad?

Yeah, but sometimes I'll just go home and scream at a pillow. And then walk downstairs and do whatever it is to be done.

Yeah. So when are you able to talk to your mom and your dad?

Like, I like talking to my dad in front of my mama, but most of the times I really— sometimes I really don't talk to my mama. But when I talk to my mama, I like being alone with her. Like, sometimes I ask if we could— me and her could go out sometimes. Even though we probably would sometimes never do it.

Yeah, but you still ask. You want to know. That makes sense. So when you say you talk to your dad, is that your stepfather that you're talking to or—

My stepfather.

Your stepfather. You and your stepfather have a good relationship?

Mm-hmm.

Well, if your dad was here today, what would you want to say to him?

That you're deadbeat.

Do you miss him?

Nope.

Why don't you miss him?

Because he never been there, so I don't know him.

So you don't know him to miss him. Yeah. Would you like a hug from him? Why not?

I don't know him. Yeah. I don't really trust a lot of people. And if I don't know you, I'm not gonna go. I'm gonna scream, yell, I'm not finna go.

That sounds just like some stuff that your mom said out there. Your mom told me that too.

It's, I don't, like, stuff really bad happened in my past to where it's kind of hard to tell which people to trust and which people not to.

I get that. I understand that. So you make sure that you have to be tough to protect yourself, right? I get that. Well, I have to tell you this. You are a very smart and fun young woman. I have had a lot of fun talking to you. Before I go, can I have a hug? Is that okay? Thank you so much for opening up. I appreciate it. Desmond, I wanna start with you. How did it feel hearing the things you heard Kaylee just say to me?

To be honest with you, it does not surprise me at all in the least.

Your daughter said that she feels like you give excuses. You're not there for her. You're a stranger. How does that make you feel?

No different. I'm not moved by it. When you know yourself and you know what you're doing, you know who you are, you know who you are as a man.

Desmond, can I ask you this? And this is sincere. 'Cause I see you got a defense up and I see there's—

No, no, no. I wanna be honest with you. It's no defense. I'm unbothered. I'm not gonna sit up here and pretend like I'm moved.

Desmond, you should be moved. Let me tell you something right now. When you have a father that's saying, I'm unmoved by the fact that my daughter could be developing these things, That's an issue and that's a you issue. That's a no one else issue.

When Kaylee was writing the letters and stuff and I told him, I said, I found a letter in Kaylee's room about how she feels you don't love her. And it broke me because—

Desmond, do you love your daughter?

If I heard my daughter tell me—

Oh, if that's the question, I'm 100% a dude, you know.

Desmond, I'm gotta be real with you.

I've been trying to be very calm with you and really get to your thing.

But it gets under my skin when I see a man sitting here talking about his daughter who is saying, "You're giving me excuses, who is not being there for me." And you are sitting here over nonchalant. Brother, do you think you look cool right now? Like, what do you think? No, no, no. You keep making the smug faces because you hearing cheers and stuff. Dude, at the end of the day, this is your little girl. That's your seed. All of us, this is none of our children. That's your child. Listen, I'm sitting here and you sitting over here relaxed, rolling your eyes and stuff. You think this is good? Come on now.

I'm gonna be honest with you. That's why I'm unbothered because I'm the man that knows my daughter and knows my family.

You don't know your daughter. Brother, wake up. You don't know your daughter and you're not doing enough for your daughter.

I don't know a thing about her.

And why are you sitting here so smug? Do you wanna see your daughter in issues?

He does.

To be honest with you, like I said, I'ma say this again. Y'all just cleared it up.

He's unbothered, right?

When y'all said that.

You wanted to come on here so people could stroke your ego. Forget your ego. My daughter back there hurt, bro, and it's on you.

No, it's not. But either way, like I was saying, when y'all ask the question about A-Dez, will you tell your side of the story?

I'm not putting all the footwork in because I ain't make her by myself.

Ariel, Ariel, Ariel, you have not for 11 years. And I'm gonna be honest with you about something. A lot of the problems it's going through is because you have not let go your internal pain.

No, no, no.

I can't find you.

No. Desmond.

Desmond.

I gotta stop. Desmond. What you're gonna do is you're gonna start attacking her, and that's not gonna be healthy communication, either of you. I just heard it. I just heard it. No, no, no, no, no. So listen, Desmond. I'm telling you what I hear.

Desmond.

I only repeat back what I hear. One of the things that I want you to leave with. You keep saying I am a good father, and I know I am.

No, you're not.

And let me tell you something. The only person who can make that decision if you're a good father or not is your daughter. And your daughter right now has clearly just told me that you are not—

Well, honestly, and I wanna reject that, and I want the people to hear this. That's a bunch of BS. Lemme tell you why. Because the moment that you don't buy something, this is something that a good man—

I'll cut his feet.

Which I had a father in my life.

Cut his feet, cut his feet. Seriously, cut his feet, cut his feet, cut his feet. I'm sorry. No, give me your hand.

I'm sorry.

I am so sorry. If you've been dealing with that for 11 years, I was with that for about 45 minutes and I'm exhausted.

This is every conversation.

I can imagine. I know.

She's been begging and crying for it for years.

I know.

My daughter wants to block him. She don't know him.

I know. This is what I gotta tell you because it's the only advice I can give you at this point. You gotta stop trying to reach out to him. And so I'm telling you that so first of all, you can release some of that pressure, you can release some of that pain. You are doing everything you need to do. You are trying, you are stepping up. You gotta release him. You have to then now focus on helping Kaylie to grieve him. No.

When I say helping, counseling sessions. This is a lot of anger in her.

Yes. That's why I asked her, when was the first time you felt anger?

4.

And she said 4 years old. You have to start to help your daughter to start to grieve the relationship that she will never have with her father while also telling her not to compare herself and letting her know that vulnerability is actually gonna be her strength.

Yeah.

Because the thing is that she needs to learn to be vulnerable. If you can do those things, not only are you gonna start practicing that with yourself and start to heal in some ways, you're going to set your daughter up for the best life she can possibly have voided of this man who can't step up and be the man that she needs him to be. You're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. You're doing a good job.

I'm so sorry.

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