In this episode of the KARAMO show, host Karamo mediates a heated family dispute between Cassandra, a 36‑year‑old woman who has long suspected that the man she was raised calling "Dad"—Lamont—may not be her biological father, and Lamont himself, who has raised Cassandra but admits to lingering doubts. Cassandra recounts feeling excluded, unloved, and treated differently from her siblings, noting that she carries her mother’s surname while her brothers and sisters bear Lamont’s. She describes a pattern of gaslighting and secrecy from both Lamont’s family and her mother, including an incident where an aunt claimed to know her father’s name, which conflicted with what she was told. Lamont explains that he never signed a birth certificate, was added to child‑support orders without full knowledge of paternity, and that a man was once suggested as a possible father when Cassandra was six. Both parties acknowledge a lack of communication, missed birthdays, and limited involvement in each other’s lives. Karamo proposes an on‑air DNA test to resolve the biological question. The test result reveals that Lamont is not Cassandra’s biological father. Despite the result, Lamont expresses willingness to remain a supportive figure if Cassandra allows it, while Cassandra emphasizes the need for answers and an apology from her mother, expressing frustration that she grew up without a father due to unresolved legal and familial actions. Karamo concludes by urging Cassandra to contact her mother for definitive answers and offers emotional support, framing both Lamont and Cassandra as victims of a broken family system.
Chapters
So who were you told was your father growing up?
Lamont. Me and my brother and sister all had the same dad from what I know.
Okay then. So then why don't you believe that Lamont is your father?
There was no connection ever with him and I just felt like him and my siblings had more of a relationship than me and him.
Got it.
So we just always stayed away.
How did Lamont treat you compared to your siblings?
I felt like he got them a lot more than me. I can count on my hand like how many times I actually went to his family house. And it was about 3 times, like, but my sister and brother, they spent more time with him than I did.
Okay. How has Lamont's family treated you?
I really felt like they didn't claim me either. Like they knew something too, but nobody would ever directly say anything to me. They just showed me how they felt by not showing me anything, any type of love.
Oh, got it. I'm so sorry. Because even if this man is or is not your father, as a child, Adults shouldn't take their feelings out on a kid. So I'm sorry that you felt that way. Do you call Lamont dad? What do you call him?
No, I call him by his nickname, Bunky.
Bunky?
Mm-hmm.
Okay then. Do you have Lamont's last name?
No, I don't. My siblings do. And that's how like it kind of started of me questioning my mom a little bit.
So whose last name do you have?
I have my mom's. Like outta all my siblings, even my youngest sister, she got her dad last name. I'm the only one outta my mom's kids that has her last name.
Wow. What have other people told you about your father?
Growing up, I was like 16 years old, some lady, she came to me, I was at her house and she's like, who's your mom? And I'm like, fuck. And she was like, oh, I know your mom. I used to hang with her and shit, which is my aunt. And I'm like, oh, okay. She was like, and I know your dad too. Your dad name is shit. And I'm like, no, my dad's name isn't that.
Oh, wow.
I leave there and now at this point, this is in my head.
What happened when you asked your mother about this?
She told me, I'd tell you on my deathbed. At that point, I'm just looking like, wow, like— Okay.
Does your mother know you're here right now?
No, she don't know I'm here because I feel like—
She really doesn't know?
No, it's about me for real, for real. And I don't want her to know.
As it should be. If you want your answers, you're in a different spot.
She had the opportunity then to tell me.
What has Lamont said to you about this?
He's always claimed me as his kid, just, but never really did anything.
Got it, okay. Do you feel like your family is gaslighting?
Oh yeah, definitely. If y'all knew something, y'all should have said something. I had time to figure it out. Like, y'all could have protected me by telling me the truth.
Yeah, okay. Well, I think it's time to hear Lamont's side of all of this. So let's welcome Lamont to the show. How you doing, Lamont?
All right, yourself?
I'm good, thank you. I gotta ask you, do you believe that Cassandra Is your daughter?
I've always believed, but there's been doubts.
Okay.
We're trying to see if we can work through it still.
There's been doubts. Where did those doubts come from?
The last name, the way everything was went about.
Okay. So what was your relationship like with Cassandra's mother? It was good at first. It was good at first?
Yeah, we had a pretty good relationship at first.
So when you say, I'm sorry, when you say the way things went about, like what do you mean? Like what do you mean by that? What happened?
Well, with the child support, she was just added to the order. I never went down to fill out any papers or anything. It was just, she was just added to my order and I was paying. They told me there was knowledge of paternity at the end of the day.
You signed the birth certificate yourself?
No. I never signed no birth certificate.
Okay. So did you know that?
No.
So this is the first time you're hearing this?
This is my first time hearing this.
So what happened when Cassandra was 6?
Well, a gentleman came up to me and told me that he was with her mom.
Yeah.
And told me that he was a possibility could be the father of my last, well, her last child.
Do you remember his name?
Fuck.
Okay. And the guy is—
I know who that is.
Okay. Has Cassandra's mother ever told you that there's a chance that you're not the father?
No.
Never told you that. Do you think you've been a good father to Cassandra?
I tried.
You tried?
I tried.
'Cause from her point of view, she feels like there's been some distance, like you didn't get to really know her. She didn't get to know your side of the family.
Well, her mom at that point, only one that she actually was dropping off to the house was Cassandra always staying.
Yeah, I didn't ever stay, drop her to leave her here. I was always being taken to Rita's house. I didn't wanna be at her house. I wanted to be with my siblings. I wanted to be with y'all, but I was never given that option. And I felt like nobody fought for me. Not her, not you. Even with my mom, like, she kind of left me stranded sometimes because growing up she left me with shit. And you know that. Like, I lived with shit years at a time.
Well, your mom left y'all with everybody.
Yes, and that's the other thing.
Your brother never stayed with her. Your brother always stayed with your grandma. So whenever your sister came to the house, it was just your sister by herself.
Yes, so, but why would you say—
It wasn't never you. Don't tell her to come bring her kids Did you ever wonder why Cassandra didn't come?
Did you ever wonder why her mom was only dropping off the other one? She not.
Her mom would always say, she staying with me.
Yeah, but did you ever wonder why and ask, like say, why not? Why can't she come? Or fight for her a little bit?
'Cause that don't make sense. Like, so she gonna drop the other one off and just say, oh, she gonna stay with me? Why would she just keep me with her?
This is what she did. And how many other kids do you have?
8 others excluding Cassandra. You have 8 others, 8 kids total, okay.
No, 9 kids total.
9 kids total, okay. Did you treat Cassandra any different from your other, from your point of view?
No, everybody got the same thing.
Okay.
Well, I don't feel like that. Like, I never got a happy birthday. Do you know when my birthday is?
No.
What? Have you, like, you never been to a graduation, nothing. Like, I can't count on any time that you showed up.
I'm having a hard time here, but I understand some parts of the story. of why you'd be confused, but if this, she's 36 years old and she's been in your life since she was a child and you don't know her birthday?
No.
So that does confirm that there was a different treatment because if you don't know your own child's birthday that's been in your life 36 years, that's 36 birthdays.
Well, when she is trying to keep the child away from me every time I ask.
But you can't blame just her. You were the adult.
If I ask, if I ask and she gives me no reply, what am I supposed to do? How?
You were saying, you're my dad. You took up acknowledgement saying, all right, this is my kid, I'm gonna pay for her. But you weren't willing to pay to him seriously.
Well, I will say this, I will say this. There's a large part of this that is your mother's fault. But I do also, you have to understand her frustration that if I am a child and I just wanna know why you're not seeking out. Because what I'm hearing is that in your heart of hearts, you had questions and because those questions were never answered, You did create a little bit of a rift between the two of you. And that would be logical, but it's insensitive. But as a child, she's just saying, I know I didn't have nothing to do with that. You could have still just had me around because now I felt lonely.
I attempted.
Yeah.
It's not like I wasn't attempting, but every time I asked about her, her mom would take her and go to house or someone else's house.
Well, if any— if this turns out that you are her biological father, will anything change?
Sure, like I told her before, you know.
It's just not fair that I grew up without a dad because of 2 people that couldn't just get it together and go to court.
Stop saying 2 people.
Y'all could've went to court.
Stop saying 2 people. Stop saying 2 people.
Well, there's both people.
I made an attempt, so don't sit up there and act like—
Did you go to court? Did you file anything?
For what?
Some type of rights to me.
For custody?
Fight for me. Yes, fight.
No.
You had no problem messing up my boy.
Well, see, that's what she's saying, that there is both people.
I lost out on a father. I didn't get the opportunity. I was the only one being shipped off to somebody that wasn't blood. Like, y'all know how that made me feel as a person? I'm not mad at just you, I'm mad at my mom, I'm mad at everybody. Y'all made me feel so different, like I wasn't wanted by nobody. Nobody understands that.
All right, here you go, love. Well, listen, I think we understand the pain that you experience. And again, like, I do understand. I understand logically how you would feel. And again, I understand logically where you're coming from, but what I'm hoping that you can understand for her is just that little bit of empathy to say, yeah, I get it. Because a child never deserves to feel that way, you know? Yeah, and that's the truth. But I think before we go any further to fix this relationship, we need to get the DNA truth. So are you ready to know? Are you ready to know?
Yes.
Lamont, come with me. So Lamont, In this envelope is the truth. You know, you found out about Cassandra from court documents. You did not know her mother was pregnant. You paid those court documents, but then as long as you had her in your life, her mother caused a wedge between you all. You had another man saying, I could be the father. So it created all these doubts in your head, which unfortunately the doubts then caused your daughter to feel not wanted, abandoned.
Mm-hmm.
And so she's here seeking if you are her father so she can either heal or move on. So this is your truth to open, not mine. Good luck.
Mm. I just—
It says you're not my biological daughter. As I told you before, I will still be there regardless of what the— regardless. See, you don't have to worry.
I told you this. I'm so sorry, Cassandra. I'm so sorry. And Lamont, you're gonna be surprised. I'm sorry to you too because there's been almost 3 decades of you Having these mixed feelings and grieving as well.
'Cause the person that they say could have been my dad is now deceased, so it wouldn't even matter now. Like, I wouldn't even be able to answer these questions no more.
Well, I think your mother can give you both answers, and that is the person who deserves to give you both answers. She has to, because now that this truth has come out, you need a father.
You're saying you're gonna be there, but you wasn't there this whole time, so why would you be there now knowing the real truth? Like, I'm okay, I'll be fine. I'll figure it out and I'm gonna try to find my biological family.
You're doing the same thing your mom did. You're pushing away.
Because—
If you want me to be a part, then I will be.
I was pushed away as a kid.
And I told you before, if you want me to be a part, then I will be. I can't be a part if you're not allowing me to be.
So how about we do this? Instead of it being something that's vague, one of the things that I see as a clear action that could happen right now is that she needs answers from her mother.
Yeah, I want my phone so I can call her. 'Cause even if I go home right now and tell her—
But this is where, if you wanna say, I can be there for you, instead of shaking your head no, this is where you have to show up for her and say, no, I will be by your side as we demand your mother get answers. Because again, it's not just the answers for her. You deserve answers too. You deserve an apology. That's why I gave it to you. That's years of you paying child support. That's years of you paying alimony. being in question. As much as she's hurting, you got hurt as well in this. And so if you really want to show her, I'll be there for you, let the first action be, I'm not going to allow your mother to do what I allowed her to do for 36 years. You want to keep your word and show up? This is the way you show up now.
She controlled your narrative, my narrative, and now this is where we at with it.
So now you say—
Now I'm the one hurt.
I'm giving you an action step because now instead of it being like, hey, you wanted me to be there, be there. I'm telling you the first way you can be there. And if you sit here and say, nope, we not gonna let this go a day, a week or two, you gonna give us our answers, you gonna make amends, you're gonna acknowledge it, you're gonna apologize. If you step up in that way, maybe she can start to trust that maybe you can be there. Maybe not as her father, but as a father figure. You know what I mean? It stops today. All right?
Okay.
And any support you need, we're also here for you, okay? I'm sorry to interrupt you. I'm gonna turn out and I really apologize to both of you because both of you were a victim in this. Both of you. So I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry to you, all right? Be there for her. I gave you the ways, I gave you the tools, all right?
