My "Influencer Parents" Won't Accept Me Because I Don't Match Their Image! | KARAMO

I was never a fan of my dad, and I do not like my stepmom. Our relationship has never been stable. Never. Growing up, my stepmom was very nasty to me. I felt like I've always been treated differently from the rest of my siblings. 7 of them. My dad has kicked me out, called me out of my name, and his wife also told me that I was one less child to worry about. And I'm not even hers. They've created this perfect gospel-going image on social media and I do not wanna play along with it anymore. I want them to take accountability for the trauma that I've suffered.

Everyone, please welcome Da'Shawn to the show. So thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

Hearing that, it sounds like you feel like you're the outcast in your family.

Absolutely. I just feel like the black sheep. I'm the oldest. I feel like I deserve a little bit more respect just as an adult.

When was the last time you spoke to your parents?

It's been about 3 years.

Oh.

Yeah, I haven't spoken to them in a long time. We've ran into each other in passing, like Thanksgiving, holidays, funerals, but we just never talk. I talk to my siblings.

So what caused you to stop speaking to them?

There's been a lot of things over the years, honestly, but there was a situation that happened that had to do with some money. And them giving it back to me, I guess I wasn't communicating properly for them.

So it was the money they gave you? I got a little confused, or money you gave them?

It was money that I gave them. I was working at the time. They got me a job. So I was living in Georgia at the time with them working. You know, they wanted me there. So I was trying to ensure, you know, some kind of security in them. Like, you know, hold my money. You know, let me show you I'm trying to be responsible.

Yeah.

Everything. And I guess it just backfired.

And then they didn't give you back your money?

They did give it back, but it took— Took, you know, 20.

Longer than you wanted?

Yeah.

Got it. Can you describe the relationship that you and your father have?

Pretty like nonexistent. He's just always really been around. I've never really talked to him much. I just know he's my dad, kind of like, we talk.

Got it, got it. I'm looking at y'all ages right here. Y'all only 15 years apart. Did he have you when he was 15?

Yeah.

Okay. Had you when he was 15. Okay, got it. You look just like your daddy. Really?

Yeah.

People tell me that.

Okay, people tell you that? So what happened the night you were kicked out?

I was actually going to the movies. I was with my friend and during the day or something, something happened like we didn't see each other. So I had spoke like to my siblings, my stepmom that was in the room and my dad I guess felt some type of way that I didn't come speak to him. So when he came in the living room, he was just kind of like, I know he's not in my house and ain't said nothing to me. So I was kind of like, if you was in here with everybody else, I would have, you know? He didn't like the comment. It wasn't really like, you know, nothing major, but I guess because we don't have that kind of relationship, maybe he took offense to it.

He felt disrespected.

Yeah. Later during that day when I was leaving, my stepmom actually texted me and she was like, "You need to be home at 11 o'clock." So I was like, "Okay, cool." I think the movie ended like 11 on the dot. So I was rushing home, I rushed there. By the time I got to the door, it was locked. It was like 11:05.

Got it. How was your relationship growing up with your stepmother?

She's always really been kind of like mean.

How long has your stepmother been in your life?

I think they would've been married since I was like maybe 2 or 3 years old.

Oh, so this has been your entire life?

Yeah.

Basically. Okay. Well listen everyone, I'm ready to speak to Tammy. So everyone please welcome your stepmother Tammy to the show. Hi Tammy, how are you doing?

Hi, how are you?

I'm good. Nice to meet you. You look lovely. Nice to meet you too. Thank you. So how do you feel about what you just heard?

I'm a little hurt about some of the things that I heard. I'm really hurt because we have always been a part of Deshawn's life, tried to be a part, but you can only be a part of somebody's life that wants you to be a part. So we can't fight, we was fighting against him trying to be a part, but that's what it was.

Do you feel like you ever treated Deshawn differently?

I never treated Deshawn different from the other kids. Deshawn was always treated fairly. Okay, the money thing. I helped Da'Shawn got a job and Da'Shawn wanted his own apartment at the time. So I told him, I said, well, if you gimme your money, I can help you save. Da'Shawn got up to a certain amount of money. He asked me for $300 'cause he wanted, I asked him questions. I said, well, what you need the $300 for? I just need, I just need it. I said, no, Da'Shawn, I said, this is money that you don't supposed to be touching. This is a savings. I'm trying to help you.

Yeah.

So I didn't want, it was his money, so I ended up giving him $300 out of it and he used the money to get his friend outta jail.

That's not true.

Who's my friend?

Your friend.

Who's my friend? I didn't get nobody outta jail with your money.

That's what you told me at first. Then the last time you asked me for $500 to pay the deposit for your apartment and I sent you that right away and I always sent him his balance. I said, you down to $300. How the $300 came about with him, this being brought up, I was reaching out to Da'Shawn, Da'Shawn did not reach out to me. Like I didn't hear from Da'Shawn. It was just nowhere to be found.

That's not true. I was calling because no one was responding. I actually couldn't get in contact with her, so I called my dad and he kind of texted me like, "Yeah, you need to give me a call." Like I had his money.

So at that time I gave him the money back and then after I gave him the money back, Here comes the live. He went live, called me all kind of Bs and this and that.

I did?

Yes.

You did? I did. Oh.

I was hurt.

Yeah.

So I text him, and I know y'all pretty much have that text message.

Okay, so let me see this text.

She text me.

"Thank you, one less child we have to worry about." That's what you text?

I text that because it came from a hurt place.

Yeah.

Right now, I regret from sending that message. And I, as a mother, apologize to you, Deshawn, for sending you that, but I was hurt.

But why go live though?

Right.

I'm just trying to get both perspectives here.

Yeah, please.

But first she blocked me, so after—

I didn't never block you. Well— Never.

After the message was sent, because I responded something else and it didn't go through.

You was not blocked, Deshawn.

I said, well, I didn't wanna call her. I didn't wanna call you guys.

Yeah, because I would never block you.

That's not true.

That is true, son.

That's not true.

Well, I think it's time to speak to Desmond, your father, and your husband. Desmond, so we can get his perspective as well. Everyone, please welcome Desmond to the show. How you doing, Desmond?

Hello.

Nice to meet you. You sharp. This looks straight out the Karamo collection.

I can't lie.

This is good.

He clean though.

He clean.

So I wanna ask you, how do you feel about what you just heard?

I'm shocked at a lot of it. I think that there's been a lot of miscommunication. There's been a lot of misunderstandings. And then there's some lies. I mean, some stuff I heard, I was like, whoa, I didn't know that. I never knew that Da'Shawn didn't like Tammy. You know, I never knew that because they talk more than he and I talk.

Well, it's not necessarily a lie. You cannot like somebody and deal with them because you deal with them.

But you dealt with her, you didn't deal with me.

But that doesn't mean I like them for real.

So you played me?

Make that make sense.

That makes a lot of sense to me. You're married to her. You're married to her.

So why aren't you talking to me then?

Because you're not that— I'm easier, it's easier to communicate with her. We've never been able to talk for real. Miss Sammy has been the person that kind of—

That you don't like, the lady that you don't like.

Yeah, absolutely, the lady that you're married to. Make it make sense.

Anytime you needed me, you cried out to me. I was always that one that will always listen to your conversation.

See, here's the thing though, I don't like how it's being flipped.

No, no, no, we're not flipping.

No, but you're saying that I don't like you. Yeah, I don't like you, but I don't like my mama sometimes. That don't mean I don't have a relationship with her. Relationship with her, I have a relationship with her because you're married to her. You saying that I'm out?

What happened the day I missed curfew?

So the day that he missed curfew, I remember vaguely about him not saying hey to me when I heard him say that. I don't remember that too well, but I do remember saying, "Da'Shawn, I need you in the house at this time." I think it was 11:30. When that time came, my door was locked and I meant that. I'm not backing off on that. That's what I did.

So that's using me as an example, right?

That's not, what you mean use you? You follow my rules, you're in my house.

Right.

So I was following, what was the time that I came in the house though?

Like 11:10 or something like that?

It was 11:05.

It doesn't matter if it was 11:01, you was late.

Right, so you wanted to use me as an example. So don't say you, you wanted, so you wanted to do that.

So I made you stay out late.

No, I didn't, you wanted to.

So why didn't you come in the house when you supposed to?

I was coming in the house, you didn't even check on me.

If I wanted to put you out, I didn't need a reason to put you out, I could've just put you out.

So why he waited 5 minutes instead of being in the house at 11 o'clock and then it's 11:05, you waited 5 minutes? Why weren't you in the house at 11 o'clock?

That's the question.

Because I was in the car, I dropped my keys outside and I was in the car looking for my keys. It was a camera, it's a camera.

I have cameras.

It was a camera. I was outside. I was at the house.

I felt like Da'Shawn, like I felt like he was trying me just to see what I was gonna do.

I really believe that too.

That's how I—

My producer told me you said that the night y'all got into a fight, your father called you outta your name. What did he call you?

Punk, bitch, hoes.

He ain't never say that, nah.

Hold up. I didn't say nothing about no bitch.

Hold up now.

I'm a stray dog. I'm a punk. This is why you don't feed the homeless.

Okay, 'cause you got—

Okay, well, does it matter the insult?

No, don't get up here lying.

No, it's not a lie.

So you are admitting that you did say those things?

He did say it.

It's an insult.

It's an insult. Don't do that.

Have you apologized for those things?

We had a sit down just like this with a spiritual advisor of mine and I told, with tears in my eyes, I cried, I told him I was sorry and apparently he's still holding on to it.

Mm-hmm. Have you accepted his sexuality now?

Absolutely.

Okay. Have you forgiven your father for that?

I forgive him, yeah.

Okay.

Obviously not.

No, it's obviously not. It's not obviously not. There are situations that keep happening. There are things that keep being said and it's triggering.

So what did I say though? What did I say or do?

Well, here's the thing. You named that one particular thing.

Okay, what else did I do? Tell me.

We're talking about y'all together.

Tell me what do we do?

We together, the whole money situation. Okay. The putting me out.

That's all you got? That's all you got?

Guess. We're talking about from this time. Two things.

We have to do things.

Because the thing is, is like, why have you never felt safe with them?

Because I don't feel like they were being very genuine. They're not the easiest people to talk to. They're not very genuine.

Let me stick with genuine. What makes them not genuine?

It don't give genuine. It's just, it don't give me genuine. I feel like my dad is more genuine, but I don't feel like Ms. Tammy is genuine a lot of the times. And I feel like when she's around, he defends her, or when she says something, she defends her.

Offends him.

So it's kind of like I don't win when I say I— or I can't say anything because I'm not. So I hold them accountable together.

What do you want to win? If you say I don't feel like I win, what do you want to win at?

Well, I just— a relationship, I guess. I want to win a relationship with who? Both of them. I don't, I don't hate them. I, I know they're my parents. I don't, I don't hate them, but I'm not going to be fake with them. I'm not going to like watch what I have to say or be on eggshells or, because everything that I said, even growing up, has always been a problem. So even when I was younger, I never talked around them. And they can even say that because every time I opened my mouth, it was a problem. I was being manipulative, I was doing something. Nobody ever did anything to me. I was just going out lying to people.

So you feel like they've always never seen you for you?

Yeah, of course. Painting me to just be somebody that I'm not instead of actually getting to know.

For real. Outside of them not seeing you for who you are, do you think these were good parents?

Yeah, they're better parents to my siblings.

Okay, think better parents to your siblings.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's fair for your experience.

Yeah, absolutely.

But do you think they're good parents?

They're good parents, yeah.

They're good parents.

Yeah.

At the end of the day, the rejection that he has in him has not gone away. And this is why he's fighting so hard against whatever image goes on social media. Whatever y'all do where y'all are like, we're a good family and I believe you are. So there's no doubt of that.

We are.

But he's fighting against that because he's like, y'all wanna portray this, but y'all don't wanna talk about how y'all rejected me and made me feel. And I'm not saying that's what it is. I'm saying these are the feelings that I'm understanding. Is that true?

That's true.

I get it. So there's work you have to do on your own. And I'm gonna tell you this because as a 22-year-old man, if your parents are telling you now, that they do love you. There's gonna be a part of you that has to start accept that love and start to see the love for what it is. Yes, y'all haven't talked for 3 years and I know that was just another form of rejection for you because 3 years I walked away and y'all didn't come and search for me.

And on top of that, my mom was in prison so I didn't have no parents.

Got it. Now we get into the core issue. This was rejection. And again, I wanna make sure I'm clear. I don't think y'all are bad people at all. I can see where y'all stepped up, but your son has been drowning in a pool of rejection for a very long time. And that's where this conflict is coming from. And the minute you accept that that's where it is and say, what did I need when I felt rejected?

I still feel, deal with rejection. I just need a sense of knowing that someone's there for me. And I'm not saying, like I said, it's not that I don't understand It's just that I'm very, very different from my son.

Both of y'all are screaming out for the same things from each other.

Yep.

And y'all don't know how to do it. I'm gonna give y'all the first step. Turn to your son and say, "Son, I won't reject you anymore." I won't reject you anymore. Turn to your dad and say, "Dad, I won't reject you." I won't reject you. There you go. There you go. Okay, give your son a hug right now.

Good deal.

Work on that. Talk more vulnerable about the rejection and not these petty situations. Use that language and I promise y'all, y'all will find some common ground and can heal. All right? I wish y'all the best of luck. Want more unlocked phones, DNA reveals, and family drama? Then make sure you're subscribed to the Karamo Show YouTube.