After a miscarriage, Speaker A grieves deeply while her partner Trey distances himself, calling it a blessing in disguise because they weren't ready. She wants him to open up and show commitment, but he's hiding his feelings to avoid upsetting her, leaving them stuck in different grief cycles.
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Recently we just went through a miscarriage. Just had a miscarriage. Mm. And—
I'm so sorry.
Yeah. And I think that kind of put a riff in it further, especially 'cause of my emotions and his emotions. It was tough on me. I feel like I went through the whole 7 stages of grief all at one time.
Yeah.
And I don't really know how he felt fully.
He didn't communicate to you?
Yeah, we have matching tattoos of the names we're gonna pick out. So I was excited. I was very ready for this to happen. And so when it didn't happen, broke me completely. And I don't fully know how he felt. Most 'cause he's like, we weren't ready anyway. I get that, but that still hurts. I was growing something that was ours for the first, you know, it was big for me.
Was that your first pregnancy?
Yeah.
Yeah, makes sense. And has it been difficult between you two since the miscarriage?
A little bit.
Yeah.
A little bit.
What are you thinking right now?
I don't even know. I want my relationship.
Yeah.
I wanna know if I can, we can do something together communication-wise. To further our relationship. 'Cause like I said, I do wanna stay with him for long term. This is who I wanna be with and I need to know if he wants to be with me the same way. And if so, change something. He's not a romantic person. I plan our dates.
So you want him to do more?
Yeah.
I wanna hear what's going on from him. So everyone please welcome Trey to the show. Karamo, how you doing?
Doing good, how you doing?
Thanks for being here. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
I see the matching chains. Yeah. So how have you been healing since the miscarriage?
I've been kind of in my own headspace about it, doing my own thing, you know what I'm saying? Going outside, trying to cover it up, act like it never really happened, you know?
But I know what happened, so why can't you tell me how you felt?
'Cause you're sensitive. You're sensitive about a lot of things, and the way I feel about it, you wouldn't like the way that I feel. You know what I'm saying?
How do you feel about it?
I feel like it's a blessing in disguise. We weren't ready financially, mentally. We're still not ready. I don't think it should happen. And I didn't tell her that, because I know that she would be mad at me for thinking that.
Are you mad at him for having those feelings?
I'm not. I was just, I wanted to know how you felt in general. You put me out. I felt like I couldn't even come to you and cry to you about it because now I feel bad 'cause you're not feeling anything.
It's not that I didn't feel anything, I just, I have my own way of grieving.
Why couldn't we share that together though?
Because I'm not gonna sit in bed and cry about it all day like you are.
