In this KARAMO episode, host Karamo mediates a tense, in‑studio conversation between Sherri and her mother Gerri. Sherri recounts being abandoned at age ten when Gerri, then a crack‑cocaine addict, relinquished custody to relatives. While living with those relatives, Sherri suffered sexual abuse that went unaddressed, deepening her sense of neglect. Gerri remained in recovery for years and re‑entered Sherri’s life when Sherri was 19, but their relationship feels more like co‑habitation with a roommate than a mother‑daughter bond. Sherri delivers an ultimatum: Gerri must change her behavior or be cut out of her life, and she plans to move out in 15 days. Gerri acknowledges past mistakes, cites financial pressures that drove her to give up child support, and claims she is trying to improve, offering to clean her room as a symbolic gesture. Karamo highlights the lack of trust, the absence of therapy, and offers professional counseling to both parties. The dialogue ends with both participants feeling heard, though the deeper issues remain unresolved.
Chapters
My guest, Sherri, says she was abandoned as a young child by her mother, Gerri. She lives every day believing her mom chose a life of drugs over her own family. And now that Sherri's an adult, her mother wants to make up for lost time. But Sherri says it's been all talk and no action. Instead of a Gerri stepping up, Sherri feels like she's had to mother her own mother. And she's here today to give her mom an ultimatum. Change or get outta my life forever. So let's welcome Sherry to the show. Hey, how you doing?
All right, good.
Nice to meet you.
Can I have a hug? Nice to meet you. Pleasure, my pleasure. Yeah, take a seat for me. So tell me, as a child, here you go. Thank you.
Sorry, I'm already going.
It's fine, you all right. This is real. So what happened when you were a child that made you stop living with your mom?
So initially what happened is she pretty much chose it for herself.
Got it.
I'm going to give my custody to family members. But it wasn't the choice that she should have made.
Got it. So she gave up custody. And how old were you at that time?
5th grade. I was still in elementary school.
So you had had years now with your mom?
Yeah.
Got it. And was she on drugs at that time?
Yes.
Yeah, okay then. Did your mother keep in contact with you during that time at all?
No.
Why did she give you up?
She felt her addiction was too much at that time, so she couldn't bear the role of being a mother.
And what happened to you while you were living without your mom?
So I was with my family member, and within the household, I would say about a year in it, I started to be sexually violated. Sorry. That's where it started. I spoke up, they confronted the person, but of course denial. From that day I never felt heard. I never felt that I mattered enough and it just kept going.
Yeah.
Did your mom know about this?
Not until I was 21.
At this point you're 21 and she's sober now?
Yes, she's been clean for years. I don't know the specific number of years, but—
Of course, yeah. So when exactly did she come back into your life?
I came back in her life when I was 19.
And are you living with her now?
Yes.
Okay.
But it's like living with a roommate.
Got it.
We're cordial. I want more.
So is she owning up to her mistakes?
In a way, but not really. It's like— playing victim. Like, I did my best. No, you did not. Your best was not good enough because you wrote that letter. You gave the custody away. You walked away from us. We did not walk away from you.
So what, my producers told me that you're moving out. Yep.
This is your last opportunity to have me. And if you don't have me, you're not gonna have the rest of us either 'cause they follow me.
I wanna hear from Sherry's mother and hear what she has to say. So everyone, please welcome Jerry to the show. How are you doing?
Welcome to the show.
Yes, please take a seat there. How are you doing?
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well. So I wanna know, how do you feel about everything your daughter had to say?
She has a right to everything that she's feeling. The problem that I have is that I see it from a child's perspective and a mother's perspective because I've been in both roles. I don't know how she feels.
But I've talked to you about this before. At 19, we sat and had a talk when I first moved back with you. We sat down, we had a confrontational talk, but at that point it was just me confronting the past. Now that I've healed, it's been 10 years. I've been living with you for 3 years. And yes, you have grown, you have taken steps, but there's still so much more that we need from a mother. I feel like giving us away even was the easy route for you.
Okay, let me explain something to you, and I'm gonna be 100%. May I turn?
Yes, you can. Talk to her.
You have no idea what it is to smoke crack cocaine.
But you chose that.
It was a choice that when someone said, "Try this," that was my worst mistake. And I held on to y'all like no other.
But you still let us go.
And the reason I did is because I was getting over $1,000 a month in child support. And the day I gave my crack dealer a money order that had child support on the bottom of it, I was done.
Sherri, are you mad that your mom hasn't done the work in your opinion to deal with her trauma like you have done? Yes.
I can't. What the hell do you mean you can't? The reason why I can't is because I am so focused on making sure that we're good. And it's my fault.
Until we're, we're not gonna be good until you deal with yourself though. Okay. And that's the reality of it. You are still a mother. Okay. Regardless of anything.
So Sherri, what can your mom do today that can heal your relationship?
Clean your room.
When we get home, I'm giving you this duty right now. Clean your room. He's been told to clean your room how many times?
And you know what? I'mma be honest with you. Last night I laid in that hotel room and I said, when I get home, I'mma clean my room.
She says she's gonna clean her room. She's saying that she'll do that for you.
But I need to see it. I need to see it. I need to see it.
Even though they don't come in my room, but my room bothers you. We would love to.
I don't want y'all in my personal space. Exactly, that's my point. But that's the point though. Like, it's like we've missed out on that, being able to come in a room and just lay on your bed and watch a movie with you. We can't do that 'cause you're embarrassed by it.
Like, I'm— When y'all sitting in the living room and I open up my bedroom door, it gets silent. Like, here comes the, mm.
Because your face is, and that's, yeah, that's your face. That's my next step today.
You're moving out in 15 days. Are you doing that because you need space from your mom?
No, I'm doing that because it's just time for me to grow.
You're asking your mom 2 things. You're asking her to build herself while also trying to figure out how to build a relationship with you.
Yes.
And I don't know if you ever watched somebody try to build 2 houses at once or try to put up 2 paintings at once. It's the most difficult thing ever. And so I understand both, I understand both your perspectives. I'm listening and I'm taking notes on this. I understand where you're coming from and why you made the decisions. I understand why those decisions hurt you and I understand why you still don't trust it. Y'all have never even built the trust back up in y'all's relationship. Not once. Have y'all done any trust work building?
There's been no therapy.
I appreciate both of y'all for your vulnerability. What I do wanna offer you since you say you never have it is therapy for you.
Thank you.
If you want that.
Thank you.
I know that we couldn't get all of this solved today, but I hope that we've taken at least a little bit of a first step for y'all. At least some communication that can leave y'all leaving here and feel like, okay, well we heard each other a little bit. Do you feel that way?
I do.
Okay, good. That's all I could ask for, that you feel heard. Do you feel heard?
Yes.
As long as you feel heard, that's all I can ask for. I wish y'all the best of luck, and I'm gonna be here with y'all, okay? All right, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back.
