My Mom Hates My Fiancé! | KARAMO

I'm 37 years old, and my mother and my fiancé are both trying to control me. My mother and fiancé cannot get along, and it's ruining my relationship. My mother says my fiancé is a deadbeat loser and thinks I deserve better. Sometimes I agree with my mom. I think she's right. I go to work every weekend 2 hours away because that's what works with my schedule and visit my mom. And I want my mom to be able to see my kids. And he accuses me of cheating. I go there to work and visit my mom. That's it. And I'm not cheating on him. I'm a sweet person. And he always acts like I have this attitude, and I don't. I'm not my mother. If he could only hear the things that she has said about him. My mom says my fiancé is controlling, a deadbeat, and not marriage material. They make me feel like if I choose either one of them, they're not gonna like it, and I don't wanna be in the middle anymore.

Well, we'll meet Tara shortly, but let's start with her mom, Colita, and hear her side of the story. Colita, thank you for being here.

Thank you.

I saw that was making you a little emotional.

What's going on.

Oh yeah. I hate that she thinks that I'm trying to control, but they call me in the family Suge Knight because anybody intimidates anybody in my family will get intimidated by me.

Mm.

Yeah.

Come on, Suge.

Yeah. And so, I, Gluel is not marriage material. He is 9 years older than my daughter. And they're in different lifestyles. He's already been where she's at now, and I don't like it, and I'm not gonna tolerate him mistreating my daughter because he tends to be very controlling, master, he's a master manipulator, and he master manipulates her, and she's very easily led. And I just, and he tells her I'm the middling mom, but he's not gonna mistreat my daughter.

Got it, I hear that. Well, let's meet your daughter's fiancé, Lowell, and hear his side of the story. So everyone please welcome Lowell to the show.

How you gonna come out here lying like that? First of all, you know damn well I take care of my kids and I'm always working. You talking about, I don't take care and I'm manipulating? I take care of Tara, I work. And I was actually talking to Tara about moving to where we all live at so I could be closer to her, all right? And then I moved down and I gotta start dealing with you. You're the manipulator one, you're the controlling one, you're the one telling Tara what she needs to do, how she needs to live her life. Listen to yourself out here talking about I'm controlling just because I'm old? I'm not here to please you, I'm here to please Tara. Well, you're not pleasing Tara. Well, whatever, you had your time to talk, all right? I work hard, all right? I work hard for Tara. I'm the one who want everything, it's you, you're the controlling one.

No, my daughter needs to work and be independent.

Okay, well if she wants to work, if she wants to work, she don't need to drive 2 hours a day for a weekend and make $12 an hour just to make you happy. She can make more money up where we live.

No, I don't want that.

They're not willing to work.

No, I'm not willing to work.

You asked earlier, we can split the time. If she wants to go work, I can stay home with the boys and then when I'm working, she— Don't tell me what's—

Listen, you don't need to talk to me no more. Noel, I gotta ask you this. Take a seat for me. Thank you for being here. I gotta ask you this because you just made a point. You said that she could actually stay right in your own town and make the same amount of money that she's making now. Why is she not doing that in your opinion?

Because it's what her mom wants. And that's been the problem this whole time. What Coleda wants. Don't nobody care. I don't care what you want, all right? I care about what Ty want.

I don't care what you want.

I don't have to, right? I care about what Ty want and you don't care about what Ty want. You don't care about what nobody want but yourself.

She's not angry with you.

And that's the damn problem. I don't care about you, Luel. Don't nobody care.

You're too damn old.

Whatever, how do you say how much you own? How much you own?

You don't own one.

Tara and I came with a decision that we were gonna be together, we were gonna find a life together, but she cannot get away from you.

You got them talons in her like a devil dog. So the ages between you and Tara is only 9 years, correct?

Yes.

Okay then, so in your opinion, why do you think the relationship with her mother, Colita, is so bad?

Because I'm not what she wants me to be. In fact, we didn't, we stopped talking. From what I hear, Tara said Khalida's the one that told her to call me 2 years later and we rekindled our relationship and got together. So it was her and now she's not happy with what she said, she told Tara to do.

I didn't know Luel. I had never met him. She had said she had met him.

You a damn liar, you met me before.

No, when she started met you, I had never met you. She told me she had met a nice guy that had a job that was working. So, okay, I didn't have a problem with that.

So you were like, just go back, go talk to him if you feel like it's gonna be something.

Money, money in her eyes, gold diggin', gold in his stash, right? That's all you cared about is money. You was supposed to take care of you, your family, and everything else.

When I found out you had 3 baby mamas, that's toxic.

Oh, is it toxic?

That's toxic relationship.

I take care of all my damn kids though, all right? I'm a good father to all my kids. I'm a good father to my 2 boys.

I never said nothing about you and your kids.

You did, you asked me You out here lying earlier talking about I ain't no good father, I don't take care of my kids, but I'm there.

I got insurance for my kids.

I never said that.

You do.

What she expressed to me earlier in all fairness is she said that there was not enough support that you gave Tara when it came to these two children.

Yes, Tara.

We're talking about Tara. I'm always giving Tara support, but she's running up and down the road after you and that's the problem.

So can I ask you this, Loel? Why do you think that Tara's cheating?

Because in the beginning when we first met, right? She didn't move up with me, right? But then when I would come visit, There was times I witnessed she's had pictures of a dude in her phone naked. Then there was a time I went to visit, we was staying in a hotel, and the guy texted and told me, "Hey, I enjoyed that kiss the other day." So I have proof that she's had sex.

I never knew about that.

You didn't know that?

Never knew about that. I never knew about that.

Yeah, see? And you don't know about half of the stuff that you talking about.

Well, let's see what Ty has to say. So everyone, let's welcome Ty to the show.

I'm here for my wife.

At least I'm here for my woman. He's talking about your dad. I'm here, yeah, I'm here for my woman though.

We're not here for that. This is what I'm talking about. Y'all put me in the middle all the time.

From day one.

Tara, you know he doesn't talk to you respectful. Why would you put yourself through that? 'Cause you keep being with him.

I talk to her respectful. The only disrespect is you. I told her to stay out the way. I told her to make her own decision. So it's wrong for me to tell my woman To make her own decisions. She gotta make her own self to stop listening to her damn narcissistic ass.

I don't know what's up.

Hold on, can you both give me a chance? I gotta hear from Tara. I gotta hear from Tara. Tara, what do you want to happen today?

I want them both to stop trying to control me. Both of them.

'Cause you feel like they both say things to try to manipulate you and get you to do what they want?

Yes, they're both spiteful.

Mm. So you both hear that. She's saying it's not one or the other. She's saying it's both of your behavior. How does that both make you feel? Let's start with you. Go ahead.

I'm not trying to be spiteful, Karamo.

I just—

I understand that you're not trying to, but your wife is telling you that she feels that way.

Well, if she's telling me that, then we need to talk some more when I get home so I can realize what I'm doing. But at the same time, I don't want to do that. I just want her to be happy. I want her to make her own decisions. I want her to stop listening to her mom and what her mom thinks because her mom, she's got this twisted sense of reality and Tara knows, Tara knows what I've done.

Why don't you be quiet?

Tara, can I ask you this? How's your relationship with your mother right now?

It's always been good, our relationship. She just has always guided me and told me what to do a lot of times. If I'm with a guy that she don't like, then she, has did her best to end it.

Mm. Okay then. So why did you agree to unlock your phone today?

Just to prove to him that I've been going just to work.

Got it. And do nothing else.

Yes.

Do you still wanna be with your fiancé?

I do.

But there's changes. Changes need to be made.

Yes.

Okay. Do you still love him?

I do.

Before I get into unlocking phones about their relationship, I'm gonna ask you to leave. And the reason being is because what I wanna model right now is that you gotta take a hands off. Whatever they're doing, it's her choice. She gotta be outside of your bubble. She has to be able to make her own choices and live her life. And if she decides later on, you know what, mom, I made the wrong choice, you can come back and you can say, I love you and support you. But if she says, you know what, mom, this is my choice and I'm happy about the choice, You gotta let it go and accept it.

Yeah.

So what I'm gonna do right now is I'm gonna say thank you so much for giving your perspective. Okay. It was really important for me to hear.

Okay.

But now I'm gonna talk to this couple.

Oh, okay.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Y'all come scoot down for me. I respect your mother and again, I'm a third party so I'm not in what y'all going through, but I understand and I see where this callin' the conflict. Y'all in a relationship and what goes on between y'all is about y'all and you shouldn't be in the middle. Now you have to set a boundary with what you're doing with your mom because part of this is also the reason you're in the middle is because you let them know. So I released her, you understand your point of how you play into this and now since you have fears that your wife could be cheating, let's unlock her phone. All right, here we go. All right, Lowell, you want to know if Tara has been talking to other men on any apps. Tara says she is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her apps and found that Tara is telling the truth. Lowell, you wanna know if Tara has photos of other men in her phone. Tara says she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her photos that are in her phone and also those that have been deleted and found that Tara is telling the truth. Um, Loelle, you wanna know if Tara has been texting other men. Tara says she has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts, those in her phone and those that are deleted up to 5 years and found that Tara is telling the truth. I'm telling the truth. There have been no interactions with any man in photos, in anything. But my investigator has written here, he found several texts from the two of you to see how you two communicate. So, okay, this is from Yolo. Bye Tara, you're an asshole. This is over, I'm officially I hate you. I will forever think you're going to, I assume this is fuck someone there, so don't get in my bed anymore. Good riddance. I was never accepted into your family anyway. And people think you're innocent 'cause you're pretty. Hell spawn. Y'all all cheats will understand you. Liars will too. I'm neither. Fuck you even call me and your son finally fell asleep after the thousand calls to your lying, cheating ass. Already ruined his birthday in so many ways. So first of all, I can give context. I see the time in the morning, you're frustrated, you're completely overwhelmed. It's not excusing it.

Right, there's more to the story, right?

But I also saw that you, yeah, listen, I'm always fair on this show. It was my son's birthday. But I also can see that you didn't respond either, which usually leads to that this is not the first time.

It was my son's birthday, you know, she wasn't there. And her mom talking about how I'm the one.

Well, hold on, no more my mom, no more my mom. You see what I did there?

Hold on.

So let me, so.

I get it, I get it.

But get it, get it.

But get it, but see, but this is, see, this is how I know. And this is why when I did this before I got a talk show, I knew how to first of all solve each problem because it doesn't, you no longer can say, Mom, we're talking about you too. So she's saying that you've texted her like this before. Have you done these things before?

Yes, and this has happened before. Okay. Where she disappears and she doesn't answer the phone.

So how long have this been going on between you two where you have these outbursts to each other like this?

Since 2020.

Since 2020. Since the beginning.

Since I moved in with him.

Because, right, because it's been the back and forth with dealing with her mom and her mom.

No mom in this.

He makes it about him and then he puts more stress on me and is angry with me.

I try not to make it like—

Talk to your fiancée.

I don't wanna put, I'm not gonna put stress on you.

You do, all the time.

And I'm sorry about that, but I just want us to be happy. I want us to live our life. I want us to be able to take care of our kids, to raise our kids, instead of always being separated. We can't even have family time half the time. We can't get to go to family events, sporting events for our son, because running up and down the road with these other responsibilities.

It would be no different if I worked in the same area.

If we weren't separated all the time, I feel like we can work on it.

Can I ask you this? Because the thing is that I asked her earlier if this was an escape and she admitted that part of this was an escape. And I understand now why when I asked you that question, you said that. It's because of this behavior. If you've been together only 6 years and 5 years of this has been similar to this and from your own thing, you said in the beginning the trust got broken, you never got over it. Which leads me to believe that you've always had these issues from the beginning. How can she believe that this would get better whether she's in the same town or not?

So with that being said too, she's continuously doing the same thing also as far as running back and forth, you know, taking care of other responsibilities. I feel like if that is looked at and possibly changed, then we can look at, hey, there might change the same things.

So you're saying if she was home, if she's just home every day in the same city, you feel like that all of a sudden, because what that sounds like what it sounds like, and I'm not saying that this is what it is, what it sounds like is if I've isolated you, then our isolation will mean that everything's perfect. I understand that.

I understand that.

Well, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you, I can already see it. Your insecurities got triggered because you never felt like you were a priority. But at the same rate, Tara felt as if like, well, why could I make you a priority? Look at the way that you talk to me and treat me. So there has to be a reset here. And the first reset has to be, are you willing to make him your priority? And you don't have to make that decision right now. And you, because you're, this is a real relationship with kids at stake. And so I don't want you to make a statement like, I'll make you my priority until you can figure out what that is. That's why I said to you, the first step that I know you can make on this show is by not involving your mother. That's the first step. But then as she's figuring out this is a priority, you gotta figure out, Can you change now that you know she ain't done nothing? Can you say, you know what, she's not doing anything. She's never disrespected me and now I need to stop disrespecting her. Because if she makes a priority, if she says I'm gonna make you my priority and then you show up and disrespect her, all you're doing is going right back to that foundation that has been built on nothing. So those are choices and conversations y'all gotta have. And what I'm just doing is making sure y'all have the tools so when you walk off this stage, y'all can have that hard conversation and y'all will know where y'all need to go next, okay? I wish y'all the best of luck and hopefully I gave y'all a little help. A little bit?

Good.

I did a little bit. Good, good, good. I tell people all the time, this show can only be a first step.

Thank you.