My Mom Said She Hates Me and Wishes I Was Dead! | KARAMO

Welcome to the show, friends. My guest, Kaya, said she's afraid that her mother Stephanie's reckless behavior is rubbing off on her little brother Troy. For years, Kaya has watched her mother float in and out of jail for lying and stealing. And now Kaya says her brother is following his mother's footsteps. He's suspended from school for smoking weed, stealing cars, breaking into homes, taking a gun to school, and getting arrested for assault, and he's just 13 years old. Kaya wants my help to convince her mom that her behavior is affecting her son. Let's welcome Kaya to the show.

Hi, Kaya.

Hi.

How you doing? Hi, I'm doing good. Oh, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you as well.

You are beautiful.

Thank you.

You're welcome. So, Kya, tell me, what made you call the show?

Back in December, my mom and Troy, they got into a heated argument. She asked him to turn down his TV. He went to the room and unplugged her TV, put it on the bed. In the midst of that, he ended up leaving his controller and his headset in the room, and she kicked him out the room. He was upset about leaving that. And she ended up kicking him out of the house after a heated argument. It got really bad. It was in December, so it was really cold. And so he was out there for 3 hours. In the cold? Yeah, in the cold. And that resulted in him catching pneumonia.

Oh my gosh.

Yes. And the police had to be called. And it just, it really breaks my heart that—

Of course.

That he had to go through that.

So you said your mom has changed. How so?

She, I used to see her in a different type of light, in my opinion. She was a lot more like outgoing. She didn't sleep as much, not as like verbally aggressive. Now it's, her appearance has kind of changed and she sleeps a lot and she kind of lashes out a lot more.

Do you think she's a drug addict?

Yes.

So you heard Kai say that she thinks that you're the reason that your son is going down a wrong path. What are your thoughts on that?

I may have had some kind of influence on him, but actually since Troy been, he's 13. So in the last 13 years I have not had any issues with shoplifting at all.

Is there anything that you feel that was said that was unfair or not true?

Some of the things, a lot of it is true. A lot of it is kind of maybe rocky from what she could remember. Basically, when Troy was born, I had already been to prison. I had got married to his dad. We got a divorce 'cause of drugs and things like that. So when we got a divorce, his dad pretty much kept him from me for a long time. So Troy went to a stage where he was going back and forth from mom to dad, even as he got older. So when he gets in trouble at my house, he'll go to his dad's house, vice versa, back and forth. So it was nothing pretty much real stable for him. But—

So you think the lack of stability is the reason he's acting out?

Exactly.

Can I ask you a question?

Mm-hmm.

Are you still using drugs?

No.

Are you using drugs at all?

No.

Okay, so why do you think Kaya thinks you're using drugs?

'Cause at one time I was using drugs.

Mm-hmm. When did it stop?

I don't know, maybe a year.

Maybe a year?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question. Would you be willing to take a drug test here? You would be willing?

Yeah.

This is good because I think for me, Part of your daughter's concern is the drugs, and I think it's important that we do that so that way that's off the table.

Yes.

And then we're talking about discipline and whatever other boundaries or structural issues is going on in the house. So I would love to take you backstage now to do the drug testing. Okay. Everyone, please welcome Troy to the show. Hey, Troy. We met backstage already. Can I have another handshake? May I have a hug as well?

Thank you.

All right, there we go. All right, take a seat next to your sister.

What's up, bro?

So I'm gonna ask you, could be a hard question, but you're a very smart young man. Do you think your mom's a bad influence on you?

Yeah.

You do? And why do you feel that way?

'Cause the people she bring around me.

Who does she bring around you?

She got somebody in the house named Luther that be around me and he be calling her B-words and stuff. And one time he, when she was gone, I think she was at work, he had got mad at me 'cause me and my friends, they had came to the house and we was playing hide and go seek in the house. And so he had got mad at me, then put his hands around my neck and then Hit me against the wall.

Wow, I'm very sorry that happened to you.

And then he tried to fight my friend. Then he called the police on us.

Wow, did the police come?

Yeah.

And what did they do?

And all they said it was discipline.

That's what he said?

That's what the police said.

Oh, that it was just being, it was just discipline. Yeah, that's why normally you need somebody who works in social services to come out and assess those situations because we would have a different lens So what's your relationship like with your mom?

It's good.

Do y'all have fun? Do y'all argue?

Sometimes.

'Cause your sister said y'all argue a lot about things. What do y'all normally argue about?

Cleaning up around the house. Like, she'll like, if she picking up something that I didn't see, she'll start talking, like start saying, she'll start getting mad talking, like start yelling.

Yeah. You said, you told my producers that your mom said something that really upset you. What was it?

She said she hate me and she wish I was dead.

Wow. When did she say that?

In December.

So recently. I'm sorry she said that.

It's okay.

What did that make you feel like when your mom said that?

Didn't make me feel like nothing.

Made you feel like nothing. So what happens when your mom leaves you all day?

She leave me all day. I get worried sometimes. I call her, she don't answer. I call her back to back to back, she don't answer. Then I call who she be with, he answered and he gotta wake her up. And then she talk to me and then she say she gonna be at the house. But when I got a call, like she say she'll be there in 5 minutes, I wait an hour or so and she's still not there. She'll fall right back to sleep.

Stephanie, thank you for being back here. So did you hear anything of what Troy said backstage?

I've never said I hate him. I never said I wish he was dead. What I actually said was I hated his behavior.

Mama, you did say you hated him though.

I didn't say I hate him personally. I hate his behavior. It's a difference. I can hate the behavior but not the person.

But both of your kids are saying that they heard you say those exact words.

That I hate him?

Yeah, sometimes in the heat of the moment, I'm not saying this, I'm not excusing it, but sometimes in the heat of a moment, parents have said things that is not healthy that they could regret. So is there a possibility, 'cause if your son and daughter are both saying that you said it, that you might have said it.

You heard me say I hate Troy while we were on the phone? I didn't say I hate him.

My momma not trying to make you look bad or anything like that. I can't tell, but anyway. No, I'm just trying to make sure like we can change and go forward. It's not to make you look bad.

Well, this is more about me than about what I thought I was talking about.

Well, it's because of his behavior. So his behavior is influenced by you. And so since he actually, his behavior is not influenced by me.

'Cause you know, I'm not the only person that takes part in his life.

You know, like when he lashes out. You know how he lashes out and he like, "I don't wanna be here," and all that. It's because he's—

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. But I'm not the only time, I'm not the only person that he's with when he lashes out.

Well, he also just said that there's a guy named Luther in the house. Did you know about these fights with Luther?

Oh yeah.

You did?

Yeah.

And how does it make you feel knowing that this person that put their hands on him and choked him and did these things?

Oh my God, I couldn't believe it actually. And I'm doing everything I can in that situation and he knows it to change that situation. I mean, we have a lot going on versus what we're talking about here. So as far as like living arrangements and things like that.

Sure, so are you living with him right now?

He's living with me.

He's living with him. So once he choked your son, why did you ask him to leave?

I did.

You did, and what happened?

I did.

He's left. We come home, he's moved back in. He's supposed to be leaving now.

But Mom, you can make him leave, like, you know?

He can, you know. Yeah, how does he have access back into the house? If you've told him to leave and it's your home, and again, hopefully you can hear from the tone of my voice, there's not judgment coming from, these are genuine just questions. You've asked him to leave, then why hasn't he left?

Good question. Obviously I can't say I've tried everything. I can't say just leave. If he has mail, come there. It's a legal issue.

But you can give him like a 30-day eviction.

I did that too, so we can put Troy first. I did.

Troy, you don't feel heard right now? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like we're hearing what's going on or do you feel like your mom's hearing you?

You gotta sit up, bro, to, you know.

I know this can be difficult. You got cameras here, you got your mom, you don't wanna make anybody mad, you know what I mean?

Let her know how you feel.

Let Mama know how you feel.

You can tell her. This is a safe place for you.

Talk to her.

Come on, I'm listening.

Come on.

She listening. You know, you say nobody listen to you. We listening.

Well, just so you know, I never have. If I said I hate you, I apologize 'cause I don't hate you and I don't wish that you were not born. Just so, just wanted to put that out there.

How do you feel when your mom says that? Do you believe her?

Yeah, but when I know, I know when she get mad, she gonna end up saying it again.

She ends up saying things that she doesn't mean? Yeah. Earlier you took a drug test and we have the results now. I don't know if it's negative or positive, but Troy, would you mind if I just spent adult time with your sister and mom? We'll talk? Yeah. We're gonna take you backstage. You did a good job though. For me, I didn't want your son out here in case this is positive, just because it wouldn't be right for that conversation to be in front of him. Kai is older, we can have those conversations. I just wanted to let you know why I did that. Stephanie, You have tested positive for weed and cocaine. So you are still using cocaine.

It's been a while. It has not been a year, but it has been a while.

So the way that this works is that it would only pop up if it's in your system within the last 7 days. A couple of days. So that means at least in the last 7 days you've used.

Okay.

Yeah. So cocaine does affect people's behavior, their attitudes, makes them sleep a lot, causes depression, causes a lot of things. I gotta ask you, why do you think you need to use drugs?

I don't think I need to use them. I don't have no consistent addiction.

In her defense, you know, back in her time they did flood the streets with drugs. I'm not saying she didn't know. I mean, like, I'm not giving her an excuse, But during that time, it was a big chunk of people who did fall victim to drugs.

[Speaker:KARAMO] No, of course, listen, I know the history of America with drugs in the Black community. [Speaker] Yeah. [Speaker] But today, we gotta talk about what's happening here because we have you in a house where now I know you've tested positive, which probably means the person who's in your house who you're trying to get out is using as well, which would explain his behavior of choking your son. It would explain all of this. This all becomes a lot clearer to me now. Do you think you can stop? Yes. And do you want to stop?

Yes.

You wanna stop? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, for me right now, the behavior that your son is exhibiting, we wouldn't be able to even get to today because we have to get you to a place as his mother where you can feel healthy enough. And so there's really no real resolution that can happen today on my show because again, as I tell you all the time, this is not for TV for me. This is real life. We all understand that there's been drug use and so that will allow us to figure out how to help you so that way your son could get help. You feel that? What do you want for your son? Do you like that he's stealing, that he's doing these?

But he doesn't steal it. That's one of the things that we did break for him. He does not steal. I don't steal.

He told my producers that he still does.

Yeah. He told me, when I was on the phone with him, when y'all was in that store. Yeah, he was trying to steal the iPhone. He was like, "Oh, I could take this off of him." And you know he took a gun to school?

Yes.

So I'm just saying right there, took a gun to school. He took a gun to school.

I thought it was somebody else that took the gun and he took, 'cause he didn't have a gun.

No, he said he took it. These are things that he told us directly from himself. He also fought a teacher.

Yeah, I do understand.

Angry issues. So the thing is, is that yes, he is still stealing. Yes, he is fighting. He's doing these things. He's lashing out and it makes sense to me now. He feels as if he's lost. Do you want your son to go to jail one day?

Of course not.

I know you don't. What do you want Troy to take away from this?

I do want him to at least be comfortable with where he lives. That's most definitely important.

You wanna be comfortable, okay. You wanna be comfortable, I get that and I respect that. Right now, your son needs to be in a place where he can get stable.

Well, the only other choice that he would go to is also a family that's also not stable, so he can come with me.

There we go, hold on. Kaya, because if your mother's saying that his father's house is not stable, are you willing to take him with your brother?

Yes, me and my fiancé Ben said we'll take him.

Are you willing, so right now?

Yeah, we've already talked about that.

Are you willing? You're willing? That's a resolution. So while you're willing, while your daughter is willing to take Troy, are you willing? I can figure out how to get you the help you need because you said you don't wanna be on drugs. I can figure out how to help you get that help so that way you're getting support, he's getting support, and now you're working towards a better tomorrow. Do you want that? Yeah. Now great. So no more with his father. Your daughter says she'll step up and we'll figure out how to help you get the help you need. All right? So I have an update for you all about this story. We checked in with Kaya on Monday and she said things are getting better slowly but surely. Luther, the ex-boyfriend, has moved out and Troy seems to be adjusting so much better without him in the house. Mom is also sober and now has a job working at Taco Bell. Dad is even more involved with Troy because he wants his son to know that he loves him and will never give up on him. I'm so happy to hear this news, and I'm gonna continue to check in with Troy, Kaya, and Stephanie. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe, and right here to watch more. Period.