My Mother Failed Me! | KARAMO

My mom is money hungry and materialistic and thinks the whole world revolves around her. She protects her image far more than she protect all her children. She failed to be my mother. She did not protect us. And at this point, it is literally our legacy. I was taken from my mom at age 3 and I never got her back. And I thought I'd never be able to get close to my mother ever again. After I was taken at 3, right? And I'm, I'm in the CPS state. Those years in that home, did not give me family. Those years in that home did not give me love. I felt abused. I was abandoned. So I run away 13 times. She could have got me out of foster care on her own, and she didn't do it over a simple physical. That showed me exactly what I mattered to her. And while I was lost in the system, my mom was still actively raising 3 other children. And wouldn't you know it, they all still ended up in prison. She failed them. I got to the point to where I aged out. And I came home and I didn't make it to 20 days and she put me out on the street. She could have helped me and she didn't. I go through all this abuse and all this pain just for you to still not hear me out when I'm spilling everything to you. Yeah, the bitch has to hear me. My voice has to be heard because at this point I'm kind of fed up with the loss and family. If I can say anything to my mom, I'd always say, "You are an adult. You are accountable for your actions. And if you want to start fixing your family, look in the mirror and start there." Listen everyone, we'll talk to Olajuwon shortly, but first let's hear from his mother.

So everyone please welcome Shine to the show. So I watched you watching that and you were shocked a lot of it. Were you surprised by the things he's saying?

Some of it.

Some of it.

Some of it.

Okay then. So let me go back to the beginning. One of the claims he said is that at 3 he got taken away. Why didn't you get him back when he was a teen and eligible?

So there was an incident with my second oldest where he had fallen out of the bed while I was gathering laundry back in '94.

Yeah.

So there were allegations of child abuse due to the fall, but I brought my own son to the hospital. And the other child was 18 months and then Elijah, of course, was 3.

Okay.

So I stayed there 10 hours and finally they said they were going to detain me for an investigation. Went to jail for 2 months.

So did they find you guilty for the child abuse?

No.

So then what did they send you to jail for?

To detain me for an investigation. For 2 months detained? For 2 months. Coming out of the incarceration, I could not stay in my home. I entrusted family members to take care of the financial aspects of my home. They did not. So now I'm in litigation with the leasing office. And so I ended up staying with another set of family members. And then my daughter was born during this time. And then by the time I returned, because I left with my then-boyfriend to go pick up things for the babies, and by the time I returned, one of my relatives said, "I have something to tell you." And I was like, "Bitch, no. No." It was like my soul. I felt it. And I said, "Are you fucking serious? You let these people come in and take my babies?" And then I signed a 30-day waiver for my aunt to keep my kids. My aunt then took advantage of that 30-day waiver and decided to keep my kids from me for 15 years.

So I appreciate you telling me originally how you lost him, but my question was, why didn't you get him back when he was a teen?

That, no, the state of Texas gave me my son back. But the agreement was that he would stay because he kept saying that they were gonna give him money or something like that for aging out. So there was a verbal agreement. And plus I did not want to keep bouncing him around from school to school. Go ahead and finish school. Elijah Juan graduated when he was 17, just like I did. So with that being said, he came home before he even made 18.

Got it.

So then he alleged in that video as well that at 18 you then kicked him out within 20 days of him coming home.

No, it wasn't 20 days.

Okay.

When they released him from state custody, they did release him with a bank account. He was trying to spend the money on, the shit he do right now today that I get on him about. Stop trickling your money to bitches. Like focus on yourself, establish your goals. It's my fucking money. I do what I want. You're absolutely correct. Since you don't wanna listen and I have structure with the children in this house.

Yeah.

Then you need to find somewhere else to go.

Okay, so why were you absent for so many years?

It's because of my— Because of my—

Understand now, do you believe you were a good mom to Alajuan?

Absolutely. I love the shit outta my kids, all of 'em. And I got 7 adults.

Yes. Okay, so what does he blame me for then from your opinion?

He blames me for the abandonment. He blames me for not going to get him. And he blames me for even his current siblings that are incarcerated. He just blames me for every fucking thing because he does not, to me, my perspective, you don't have the fucking courage to face the people that caused this damage to you, so you're bleeding it onto me. You can't bleed some shit onto me that I did not create. I took accountability, I apologized for being a young mother making a decision trying to keep you out of state custody, and y'all shit ended up there anyway.

Yeah.

I don't like the fact that a lot of the stuff I just heard was kind of made up, and I don't get how you thought that everything you just said How you doing, Mr. Karamo? How you gonna say all of that that you just said and half of it was made up? First of all, I wanna point out the fact that I never went home to you at 15. I was in CPS, I did age out. So I'm trying to figure out where did you come and get me? You made up 10,000 excuses not to go and take the physical to be able to get me to come home.

Take what physical?

You had an option to do a physical.

I never ever request to take a physical.

No, it's a psychological.

I requested a psychological.

You didn't do the psychological.

Yes, the hell I did.

You did not do the psychological.

You had to go get the public information to see.

I know it, I had the lawyer, they sat in front of me, they was sitting up there looking your mama not in a position to actually feel like, "Oh, if I got a chance to bring my child home, why won't she come and do it?" And I didn't understand it myself. So, first of all, you just made up half the stories you was just telling. Let's start there.

Go ahead.

Let's start there.

Spit it. See, this is why we're here. Because security is for you, not for me. Security is to protect you.

But you can't put me out of here, so I'm glad we're here. So my point is, you said that I was gonna come home to you. When they told you that I could come home to you, you said you wasn't able to.

So how did you end up in my house?

When did I end up in your house?

How did you end up in my house?

When I aged out at 17.

It doesn't matter. At 17. At 17. I couldn't come home to 18. See, your calculations are failing you.

Okay, so can you stop talking? No, I can't.

Because what I'm not gonna do is let you put her out.

Anyway, how did your mother's absence impact you?

Anger, hate, rage, disappointment, disrespect, lies, fake, gaslighting, all kind of shit that she wanna make up to make it seem like she's this perfect woman. I ain't perfect. You act like you're just such this super mom, But I don't see where the mom is when you were never there?

Of course I wasn't when you were fucking stolen!

So your question was how did she impact my life by not being there? She made me very much feel abandoned. My abandonment issues or hers—

That's why you tricked the hoes.

And that right there, I tricked the females, right? Do you know what you're talking about?

'Cause you put behind you a lot of people.

No, no, no, okay so let's put it like this. You saying I took the hoes, my bank account had all my money in my bank account. So if I'm sitting here and I'm doing something wrong to you—

I'm saying to you, fresh out of the system.

I had to call the police on you to get all my stuff out your house when you got mad at me over some dumb shit, which was simply, I was with your ex-best friend out to eat.

I told him I'm not gonna do this shit.

And when I did this, I did this shit with him.

And I came right now.

She told me I'd fuck your ass up.

I was out there with my residence and be able to get away with that shit. I'm gonna call the laws on my fucking self because you know I will stop fucking with y'all ass.

I was with a friend.

You know I will.

So how many children do you have total?

7 living, 8 in total.

Okay, 8 in total. And of the 7 living, how many did you raise?

3.

You raised 3?

3 were stolen by a relative on dad's side. Another one was stolen during the breakup. I find this shit delusional, Karamo. Can you check real quick?

The most, and this is, you see what I'm saying?

She talked to me like I'm not a person. Because he's asking me a question.

But even if he's asking you the question.

This is why we have problems.

You're delusional.

Why the fuck you trying to answer questions that ain't being asked to you? Because you're lying.

You always lying. You ask me a question.

Who the fuck are you speaking for?

Because when I was just explaining my point, you ain't never gave me no room to clear nothing. You ain't never gave me no room to clear nothing.

Sir, you dabble for hours.

If I answer anything that she ask or that you ask me clearly without interrupting me.

How does she respond when you're bringing up your past?

Like this. Her favorite word, I'm a bitch. But she do this to all the boys. She always treat us like we're weak and we having emotional problems, we having emotional issues. And we have mommy issues, but I don't have a mom, so I have, how do I have mommy issues when I don't have a mom?

That's why you have mommy issues.

How can I have a mom?

Because the mother has never been present. That's how mommy issues form.

So what I'm saying is, how am I going to have issues?

So you're agreeing?

Yes.

That he has issues because you weren't present?

Yes, absolutely.

Okay. So she's admitting right now saying she understands that you have these issues because she wasn't present. I'm in the present.

But my point is, why are you painting a fake picture about me tricking the females when I was at your house?

You still do right now.

I don't.

You do.

I don't. But that's not your problem. That's not your life. And you need to mind your own.

Let me ask you this.

What are the things— You're absolutely correct.

What are the things that you need?

That's why he ain't in my house.

What are the things that you need to hear from her to start healing?

She needs to say, I'm sorry, I failed to do enough to come in. Get you at all. You was never there, you didn't show up when they gave you the option to show up, so that is why I had to stay in CPS and age out at 18. Not 'cause you said whatever you made up in your delusional mind.

So you said you needed a sorry for her not coming to the kids.

What I need your money for when I got my own business license?

And I know that she's damaged the kids and me more by talking the way that she's talking. She does not know how to talk to us.

When you don't talk to me appropriately, you get no respect, period. You wanna act like a man, I'ma stand on it like you a man. So I'ma handle you like I handle the men that try to come in my life and disrespect me.

And this is why you need boundaries. This is why you need accountability. You need transparency. You need to learn that you're not a mother.

So you're saying the two main things what I'm hearing is that you need a sorry from her for not getting you. And then you're saying that the way that the communication is and that the way she speaks to you and you speak back to her, 'cause you're disrespectful as well.

Right.

Right. You want that to change.

Yes.

Those are the main things. Yes. Do you feel like you can give your son a sorry for not showing up?

I'm not sorry, but I'll apologize.

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How is that an apology?

Tell me why you don't feel sorry for that.

Why do I feel sorry? Because I wanna be clear. I understand etymology. I'm not sorry.

Okay.

But I will apologize.

Okay. I do understand your experience and from your point of view, I wasn't there so I can't. But if other family members are in working against you from your point of view and they are taking your kids, of course you're gonna be like, I'm fighting a battle alone. There's other people against me here.

Just because you didn't see me present did not mean I didn't show up.

But if the one thing your child Karamo, what your child is asking for is a simple give of saying, "I'm sorry." I've said, I have apologized to him.

He won't accept it.

But he's looking for a sorry.

I'm not sorry.

But if that could be the thing to solve your relationship, why not?

You cannot make this up. Because I'm not sorry. I'm not a sorry-ass individual. I was never a sorry-ass mama.

And that goes to that prideful thing that I don't understand why she can't put it aside. And that's why I say there's a pride problem I'm in this position that every time we talk—

I'm a grown-ass woman.

And I'm fine with that.

And I'm fine with that.

And I'm fine with that.

And I'm fine with that. And I'm fine with that. And I'm fine with that.

And I'm fine with that. And I'm fine with that.

And I'm not looking for your apology. You don't You don't even say this apology. You said that you wasn't sorry.

And say I'm sorry.

I'm not saying you wasn't sorry. You just saying you wasn't sorry.

Did I hear anything else outside of that?

So I think the thing that for me is disheartening in this moment is when a child is telling you their truth, It's our job to be able to say, no matter what I'm experiencing right now, if this is going to help you heal by acknowledging your truth and giving you what you need, as simple as that, then I'm gonna give you that so we can move forward. And the fact that you're not able to do that right now.

I'm not, I'm not saying I'm sorry 'cause I'm not a sorry-ass individual.

I would never call you a sorry individual.

What does that even mean? I apologize. And I've apologized to him year after year.

She's so narcissistic, you don't even make no sense. He wants me to say things the way he wants me to. That's narcissistic.

That's like you and I having a conversation and you becoming irate 'cause I didn't respond the way you wanted me to.

See, the difference is that I'm not your child.

Of course.

I'm not mine.

Of course.

And so like we're both parents. I have kids and there's experiences that my children have had that don't agree or align with what I saw or how I felt. But when I'm speaking to them, I understand that it is my job to make sure that they are healed, that they are heard. And so there has been times when my child has said something to me and I am not a sorry man, but I will say, "I am so sorry, son." 'Cause it's simple.

That's all it takes.

That's all it takes sometimes.

Because sometimes that's what they need to begin this step of rebuilding, of healing.

Thank you. She don't even want the door to open a little with shit.

And so what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to give you some way just to get it because I do believe The communication is off. I think there's been so much hurt and pain in it that it's, only thing that comes out now is just continuously hurt and pain, a ping pong of that. But there is a way to stop that and to start a process of being able to communicate through love. And your son is asking for one simple thing.

And I'm not gonna say it.

Well, I appreciate you being here and I appreciate you telling me your story. I'm gonna just spend a couple minutes with him and Karamo. No worries. Thank you so much.

Look at it. Catch the exit.

Come close. So your request was not a large ask and your mother is clearly, I tried to break it down for her a couple times, she's not willing to hear it. She doesn't want to hear it. And so you have to give up this fight to find a way to heal.

But how do I give up a fight when I, have the option to have a family. And I have kids that I have not even identified as my kids and I've never seen them and I've supported those actions. And I can't even go to bring them to their grandmother or my, she doesn't wanna be a grandmother. She wants that. But you gotta understand. I don't want to grieve. I want it to be fixed.

I know, I know.

It's so—

I know, I know. Here, I know. I know, here you go. I know. I know.

This is exactly why I try so hard to avoid her, 'cause—

But you can't. It's not gonna be fixed.

At the end of the day, what you gotta understand is no man wants to grow up without they mama be there for they kids.

I know.

As much as you want her to hear that, as much as you want her to see that, that is not her truth and she's not going to accept it. It's not changing.

That's why I have to go to God. I pray so much, you know what I'm saying? I pray all the time. —because I try to stay strong, because I don't want to break down in the midst of what I'm doing.

But you should give yourself an opportunity to break down and to grieve, because the more you try to hold on, and the more you try to stay strong, and the more you try to do, you're just hurting yourself. That's why my step to you is grieve. Start the process of grieving that she was never a mother, and she will not be a mother. And what that is, is reminding you that fighting this fight is not for you. You have to start the process of healing yourself. What we would have wanted is her to just take one step, but she has literally said several times she's not willing. So then if she's not willing, you have to take the step. Thank you. And the step is to walk away, okay? Yes. This is just one piece of this, all right? We gonna talk to you some more backstage. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, I really am. Like you just heard, we're all proud of you.

Thank you. Yeah, we're all proud of you. Thank you.

On my show, I unlock phones, and now I wanna unlock your best self. You need someone to talk to who will listen and give real advice with no judgment. That's what Karamo AI does. Text me, call me, download Key, and let's start talking and growing.