My Mother's Dying Wish Was To Find MY Sister | KARAMO

What did you promise your mom Mildred before she passed away?

Unfortunately, my mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2006, stomach cancer.

Yeah.

You know, so I promised her I would find her daughter for her.

Oh wow, okay.

I would find her baby.

So tell me, how old was, oh, your mother's beautiful, I see it. Both of y'all beautiful. Oh, beautiful. I know, I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry. How old was your mother when she gave birth?

From what I know, between the ages 13 to 15.

Yeah, between the ages of 13 and 15.

Yeah.

Okay.

Young.

And did your mom ever talk about how little choice she had?

Yes, she had zero choice.

She had zero choice.

She had zero choice. And then I guess, you know, back in them days, if it ain't look right, that's what happened most of the time with people. She didn't wanna do it.

Yeah. So your potential sister Liz spoke with us earlier. I want everyone to take a look at this.

I found out about my adoption when I was about 11 or 12. My mom was very sick, so she wanted me to know this information. She mentioned to me that my name was Tamira Lance. My adoption was closed. Every door that I tried to open and find this information got slammed in my face. In closed adoptions, they will not release any information regarding you know, your birth records, your adoption, who, you know, your parents are. So I just kind of basically gave up because I felt like maybe someday in the future I'll find this out. Maybe someday I'll never find it out. Growing up was hard because I was an only child. I felt like I didn't belong, you know. I'm like, I don't even have anybody. The neighborhood kids or your friends, they got tons of brothers and sisters. Even my cousins, they had a bunch of brothers and sisters. But I always had to go home to just a lonely, quiet house. It hurts my heart that Mildred had to go through anything that she had to go through. You know, I was informed that she kind of had a hard— she had a rough life. Once we get this found out, I want to go to her gravesite because I want her to know so that her soul is at rest and at peace. Your baby girl has been found. Mama. Oh wow.

Wow, I know while you were watching that, you kept saying that she looks like your mama and your baby.

She look like my mama and my baby. She look like my baby sister too.

Wow, okay then. How did that loss shape your mom and the woman your mom became?

It shaped her in a lot of ways. I have a lot of kids, so I think that's why she took to me and She's very, very overprotective over her kids. And it just was sad to watch sometimes because me and her were real close. So the burden that she had, I had to help her get through it.

Makes sense, 'cause if she gonna keep y'all close and be overly protective, it's because she's lost one.

'Cause she had to give one away.

Give one away, yeah.

And let me tell you this. I trusted to come up here with you and wanted to come up here with you because I remember when you first started, you brought out your son.

Yeah, yeah.

And you talked about your stuff with your son.

Yeah.

You about family.

Yeah, always.

And you, you on some real, I'm a cusser, I'm getting better.

Yeah, you cuss, you cuss.

Getting better, so. You a real, you be on some real shit.

I appreciate that. And I appreciate that. Thank you, I appreciate that, man.

No, for real. Thank you, I appreciate it. I appreciate it.

I really do, I do. So what did your mom tell you about your missing sister?

Karamo, she told me that her name started with a T and I had a sister.

That was it?

That was it. Yeah.

So how did you find your potential sister Liz?

My daughter went through a page on Facebook that specialized in helping people find lost relatives with little information.

Yeah.

And now I'm sitting here. Wow.

So through that one page that your daughter found is how it led to this. And so when was the first time that you spoke to Liz?

Like 2 months ago, maybe.

2 months ago?

Like 2 months ago. Only 2 months. Wow.

What would it mean to you to say, "Mom, I found her"?

Everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything would mean, everything to me. Like, I can't even explain it. I can't explain it.

Of course. If she's your sister, what's the first thing y'all gonna do?

I'm taking her to her mama. She's taking her stuff almost.

Yeah, okay.

Well, Vicki, are you ready to meet your potential sister Liz for the first time? Everyone, please welcome Liz to the show.

I love you so much. I got you. I promise you, I got you. I'm going to take good care of you. I promise you. I promise you, I got you. He going to give us these $50 back. You look just like me, yo. That's my baby sister.

You look just like me, yo. I swear.

He going to give us $50 back. I'm telling you. We good.

For real.

Good forever.

I got you.

Oh my gosh. Hi, thank you for being here.

Hi.

Nice to meet you. Let me give you a hug. Nice to meet you. Thank you. So tell me, what was the hardest part of growing up as an only child?

It has its advantages. Yeah. But it has a lot of its disadvantages 'cause I always had to fight my way coming up. You know, kids that, you know, you had the house, the neighborhood kids have a house full of brothers and sisters.

Oh, I still can fight, boo-boo. I said, you ain't gotta fight nobody no more. I still can fight.

But it's like, I always had to fend for myself. Growing up in a household with a military father, he was like, I ain't raised no punks. You know, somebody mess with you, you better go out there and handle it. You know, and I had to do that. And so, I mean, I had plenty of cousins, but they had their households. My household was just me.

So what do you feel like you missed out growing up without siblings?

Just the love and closeness and fun and stuff like this. You know? Whenever, you know, sisters, when you have something that you need somebody there, you got that sister you can go to whether they accept it or they gel with it or they don't. You know, I would have that. Now that's not to negate the fact that the people that I grew up with, cousins or people that I call sisters, stepsisters, bonus sisters, I had them, but it's not the same as having your own. Yeah.

What did your adoptive mom tell you?

So for the most part, I was about 11 or 12, and she mentioned to me as she was sick that, you know, you have another family. I'm not your birth mother. She's like, I'm not your birth mother, and I want you to know that you have family out there. So if you ever want help trying to find them or reach them, I'll do what I can to help you. But unfortunately she got sick and she died. But she wanted me to have that information. She told me your birth name was Tamira Lance.

That's crazy.

She said, there's also another piece to this puzzle. They didn't know it. You have a brother that was born 2 to 3 years before you. What? Yes. That boy was adopted, and me and your father couldn't get the information 'cause we didn't want you separated.

Wow. So we be back.

Wow.

So there's— We be calling you again.

There's another piece to this puzzle.

So there's a potential brother as well.

There's a brother.

Because when I got reached out to by her daughter, she was like, my grandmother, you know, Mildred, had a baby at 13. But she said I was potentially, I was 10 years older than her mother. I'm like, how old is your mother? She said, my mother's 49. I'm 59 tomorrow.

Yeah.

So that meant, that math did math. She didn't have me at 13. That's that brother that she had at 13. That's that brother.

And like I told you, I told you she had, I know she said between 13 and 15 she had a baby, so.

Wow.

It's been so long, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

And she was a child, you know? She was a child, of course.

So we think, you know, something had to have happened and she wasn't protected.

Of course.

And that was the result of it. And she was forced to do something that she had no control over.

Yeah. Your daughter's name is Fredrina?

Yes.

Fredrina first reached out. What did you think was happening?

I was kind of shocked because I'm at work. I'm working at school. And I kept getting this phone call over and over and over and over again. I'm thinking, oh, these bill collectors. That's my baby.

That's your baby. Yeah.

On my damn nerves.

Yeah.

So I'm thinking this bill collector. I didn't answer it. That phone call kept coming and coming and kept calling. I think by probably the 10th, 9th or 10th call, I just answered it. And I'm like, hello? And she was like, I'm so sorry to bother you. I don't mean to bombard you with calls, but I need to find an Elizabeth Wilkins. And I'm like, who's trying to find Ms. Wilkins? And then she told me who she was and the reason that she was calling, and I'm thinking, yeah. And so I'm like, well, send me your information. When I get home, we'll talk. And when I got home, we talked. Now I didn't give any information 'cause you know, it's so much stuff going on. I wasn't getting ready to give all my information. I wanted to see what she had to say and if it matched what I had. And when she told me, her mother's name, she said, "You probably saw LaToya Bailey." 'Cause they tried to reach out to me on Facebook. That's the only social media I have. But they couldn't find me under my name 'cause it's spelled with a Y. Oh, got it. And so when she told me my mother's name, that's her married name. My mother's name is Vicki Lance. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

That's when it clicked.

I said, "Lance, that's my birth name." And so then when we got a chance to talk to another relative, all they knew was Baby T. Lance, Baby Girl T. Lance. T stands for Tamira.

Yeah.

Because that's what was on my records before my adoptive parents changed it.

Wow.

To Elizabeth.

That's crazy shit.

So Vicki, we have your daughter Fredrina in the audience today. How you doing? Hi, Mommy. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Look at my baby cakes, man.

How did it feel watching your mom carry this promise for years?

It was tough. I was young when my grandmother died, but we was always a very close and open family. My mom, I know my mom doesn't know too much about her mom's side of the family, my grandmother's side. So just me being older, I'm from the generation where the stuff they was sweeping under the rug, we gonna pull it from a pocket. You gotta dig it out there. That's right.

You gotta dig it out there.

You gotta dig it out there.

Well, Vicki, are you ready for your truth?

Yes.

The DNA truth.

Yes, this shit is like a movie.

It is, 'cause Liz, this is your birthday tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

So this should be an amazing birthday gift.

It sure will, and I just wanna say to the whole crew, the Karamo production team, I appreciate you having the show today.

Y'all supposed to be together.

Yeah, thank you.

Like for real, like no, like. Thank you, thank you. No acting, no nothing.

I appreciate the show that you put on because you bring people together.

All y'all bring people together up here.

Thank you.

Cameraman, everybody, y'all don't—

Appreciate it. We got a good team here. Everybody works really hard. They get hard for you. Everyone is aligned in the same mission. And we just want to make sure people have their healing and closure.

It's here. It ain't— it's here. That's where it come from.

Well, listen, Vicki, come with me.

Let's go.

It's time.

Vicki, you made a promise to your mother. Almost 19 years ago that you said that you would find her child that was taken from her. You have searched for 19 years, you have never given up hope, and this potentially could be your sister. You said before your 50th birthday, you're gonna find out, and Liz, tomorrow is your birthday. And I think there's something special about that. This is your truth to hope in, not mine, and we are all praying. We are all praying.

Just let me, before I open this, Let me just let you know, I love you. I got you. All right, you don't gotta worry about nothing. I'm gonna take you to see your mama 'cause I already know what's in this. You look just like us, man. That's it. I'm about to just open it. I ain't even about to go.

Come on, sis.

Come on with it.

Come on with it.

Come on with it.

Oh my God, look at my baby cakes!

Oh my God! Oh, mama knows.

You don't even know what you just did for our family, man. Look at your sister. Oh, that's the picture of me in that lace front wig.

But you look good, girl.

I changed that shit. You look good. I couldn't take that glue on my face.

Y'all want to sit down?

OK. Hold on. I'm going to take a seat. I want to take a moment to realize how special this is because—

Oh my God.

60 years ago today. 60 years ago today. Hold on, I wanna take this. Hold on, take a moment. 60 years ago today, this young woman went through some trauma and had to have her child taken away. 60 years ago today, she was in labor and was probably scared and frightened and didn't know what was going on. And 60 years later, her babies are sitting on this stage, happy, healed. There is something. Your mother is standing right here on this stage with us. She is here. I know that for a fact. That's not a coincidence. That's not a coincidence. That's not a coincidence that you found your family. And I know when you said this before, your mother, she is rested now. She is rested.

Yes, because I wanted her soul to be at peace. I'm like, I wanna go see her.

She knows that everyone is happy. Happy and safe and together. On your birthday. On your birthday. I'm so happy.

Thank you.

Listen, you're so welcome. Thank you for trusting us with your story and allowing us to help you. You, you listen, you do, you got it, okay? You got it. You got it.

First, man, we got you a birthday gift in the back too as well. Your present.

We got you a birthday gift in the back.

All right, now y'all about to have a good time.

But you know what? She's so much like me.

Yeah.

I just ain't— I'm not expressing it like she is.

You the same.

You the same way.

Yeah, sister. Sister, she getting ready to meet my family back home.

This the same way.

My ride or die right here.

Listen.

Listen, any other support y'all need going down the road, we are here for y'all. But I want y'all to take this moment and celebrate you all. I'm so happy you found each other. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. Everyone at home, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back with more.