In this episode of Karamo, guest Tiffany appears seeking a paternity DNA test to confirm the identity of her biological father. The potential father arrives but abruptly leaves the studio before the test can be conducted, prompting Karamo to bring Tiffany onto the stage alone. Tiffany shares her complex family history: she was raised by her maternal grandparents, discovered in fifth grade that the woman she thought was her sister was actually her mother, and only learned about her potential father in eighth grade. She describes the emotional turmoil, trust issues, and identity shock that followed, including academic struggles and a strained relationship with her mother. Karamo and Tiffany’s friend Niecy discuss the emotional impact, with Karamo offering advice to release Tiffany from the burden of having to understand the father’s perspective and to seek closure through the DNA results, which are kept in an envelope. The potential father’s text message is read, revealing fear and exhaustion rather than anger. Throughout, Karamo emphasizes support, resources, and the importance of truth for Tiffany’s healing, while Niecy provides supportive commentary. The episode ends with Tiffany expressing a mixture of hurt, understanding, and a desire for the father’s continued presence, despite his absence at the test.
Chapters
Running.
We don't know.
Okay.
I don't know who.
All right.
We're headed to the airport now.
Watch out for the cop.
But now it might be my guest.
Let me check around the street.
Listen, we have never had to do this before. This is a Karamo first. Tiffany is here for the DNA truth about her biological father, but the man we are testing Just walked outta the building and refuses to do the show. I'm gonna go backstage to get Tiffany so I can see if we can get her out here. Hi, Tiffany.
Hi.
How are you? May I have a hug?
Yeah.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
So what just happened?
Um, he left.
What was going on?
I don't know.
I think he's just like overwhelmed.
How are you feeling? Because this is about you.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm everywhere.
You're everywhere right now. Yeah.
Because you were expecting him to stay here and give you the answers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was there a conversation that happened before?
Well, yeah. He was just asking me like, how am I feeling? And am I okay? What do I expect? And stuff like that.
Are you okay?
Mm, I'm never okay.
No.
Why?
What's happening?
I just deal with a lot.
Like what?
What's going on in your head?
Mm, I don't know.
It's just like a lot of emotions for me.
Yeah. Do you have any tissue? Well, I know that he has walked out, but you still deserve to get answers. And we have the DNA truth on this stage. And whether he's here or not, you still deserve to get some information so that at least you can get some clarity in knowing how you need to move forward. So will you join me on stage?
Mm-hmm. Come on up.
Everybody say hello to Tiffany. So, was your potential father in your life growing up?
No.
He was not?
No.
Well, who was there for you?
My grandparents.
Your grandparents. And when did you meet him for the first time?
I was in 8th grade.
8th grade.
And what was that like?
Well, it started off because I found out about my mom first in 5th grade.
Okay.
I knew about her all my life, but I didn't know that she was my mother.
Oh wow. Take me back. You were raised by your grandparents. Is this your mom's parents or your dad's? Yes, my mom's.
Your mom's parents.
And at 5th grade, you then learned that your sister was actually your mother? Mm-hmm.
Oh wow. But I didn't like really think too hard on it at first. It was more like, you know, like when you just start thinking over and over and over, like putting words together.
Yeah.
'Cause I was.
Well, what happens is that you're a young age, in 5th grade, you go into shock.
Yeah.
And then not only do you go into shock, you disassociate. So what happens, what you're describing, is that the feelings and thoughts have to come back because your mind has to process, like, what is my reality? What is truthful? What is my foundation?
Yeah, and then I start like thinking like, who's telling me the truth on things? Like, are you lying to me?
Yeah.
Like, do I trust you?
Yeah.
So I started acting out a lot in class. Grades started going down, but nobody ever knew why.
Yeah, I hear that. And so did you start calling her mom after that?
No, I just kept calling her her name.
Her name?
Yeah.
As your sister? And did you have a good relationship with her?
No.
Not at all? And did you have a good relationship with your grandparents?
Yes.
You did?
I love them to death.
Love y'all. And what was your relationship like with your potential father?
So it started off kind of weary, like weird, honestly. I knew my grandparents didn't want me to speak to him or be around him, so I would like have his number in my phone and like put it as one of my friends' names.
Oh, got it.
Yeah, he would bring me lunch to school.
And 'cause you learned about him in 8th grade?
Yeah.
And so that's when, so you're old enough now to be texting him, communicating with him, okay. Did you ever question why he wasn't there?
Not until I got in high school.
Uh-huh.
I really didn't care 'cause he was doing more than an average man would, finding out years later.
Yeah.
So it was like, I knew that my grandparents was kind of like protecting me in a way.
Yeah.
So I knew that he was doing what he could at the time.
And you got married recently, right?
Yeah.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And he attended your wedding? Yes, he did.
He did. Okay.
And when was the last time you saw him?
I think it was a little bit after this. So the end of the year or either early this year.
Got it. Okay then.
And then we have a text from your potential father that he just sent you. Can I see this text? He said, no, I'm not okay. I'm just sitting around waiting to be like a dumbass. I'm out. I can't spend my whole day here waiting like this. No matter what these results say, I'll always be here for you. But this is really draining. My apologies. I thought of all this was planned and we'll get here and go and then head back. Let's get to work. This is something that you wanted to do. Want to know, I was fine with the way things were. So, okay, I understand what's going on. So Hibs walking out, see, I can read between the subtext and I'm gonna stress this for the audience. This does not mean you need to feel this way because you are the child in this situation and adults have been making decisions, been telling you lies. And I kind of touched on it, but I understand the trust issues. But what I'm seeing here is a man that he's fully okay with you being his daughter. And so he's grieving the fact that I don't know what these results are gonna be.
Yeah.
And so what I'm reading is fear. That is fear. I don't wanna be patient because I'm scared that it's not gonna give me the answers that I want. And I'm so sorry because if he was here, I would've been able to give him some tools and help him. I don't see someone who's angry in that text.
Yeah.
I don't see somebody who is being rude. What I see is someone who is terrified. Do you think he is your father?
I hope so. You hope so.
You hope so. So what was it that made you finally say, I gotta get these results?
I stopped talking to my mom a little bit after my daughter passed.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Take your time, no.
We stopped talking and I wanna say maybe like 2 or 3 months ago, we just started back. I ended up having my little sister staying with me and she got like, She got us talking again. So she came outta nowhere. It was September 3rd and she was just like, she doesn't think that he's my dad.
Wow.
Listen, Tiffany, we have your best friend in our audience today, Niecy, who came to support you. Niecy, how you doing?
I am fine.
I wanna know, Niecy, what do you feel? I feel like you have to add to this 'cause I know this is emotional for you too.
Yeah, it's a lot. Just being in her life and watching her like go through a rollercoaster. Like all her life, her whole life has been a question mark. I feel like I've been playing a guess who game along with her, with her whole life. And it's just like, I'm really fierce right now.
Yeah.
And it doesn't matter, like Tiffany, you know, you have a whole second family and that's why I'm your sister. You don't need none of them. And like, I'm just overly drained like how they treat her and she really needs them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for being here. What do you wanna say to your potential father for leaving?
I'm kind of hurt, but I think my problem is that I'm very understanding. So I do understand, but I know it's not gonna change our relationship. We've talked about this many times, so.
Yeah.
And even like, even like with everybody else, like I know it's not gonna change anything. I'm not gonna love them any less, but I just wish he was here.
Yeah, I know. Can I give you a little bit of advice? I don't want you to be understanding anymore. I wanna release you of that feeling that you have to be understanding. Because when you have had the experiences you had as a child, to feel like you have to keep the peace, you probably feel like, I have to understand everyone's perspective, I have to get along, I have to go along with it. And you don't deserve to have to understand that. And I say that to you because when I read his message, I can understand. But you're a child. And yes, you are a young woman now that is handling life and doing the best you can, but in this context, you are a child. And a child deserves to have someone sitting next to them to support them, to hold their hand through this.
Mm-hmm.
You don't have to understand what he's going through because you didn't ask for any of this. And so if I can do anything, I would release you from any of that feelings, ever say like, oh, well, I'm understanding. My advice would be to say, I don't wanna understand no more. I want everybody to understand me. And if you can take that, it's going to help some of the healing that you're gonna have, all right? But I think that you have waited long enough. We have the DNA truth in this envelope and I know The mystery that was surrounded when you were a kid. I know that you had thought you had gotten answers and then your mother gave you this information recently. So this is your truth to open, not mine.
He's not dead.
He's not. Come on down here, love.
Come here, come here, come here.
Let me scoot over for a minute. Let me give you a hug.
Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here.
I'm so sorry. I'm gonna hold your hand right now.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, love.
We gonna swear to give you some love. What's going through your mind at this moment?
Um, I don't know.
I just—
Well, I will tell you this. Any support you need in finding information, If your mother is willing to talk to me or anyone on my team, we will do our best to try to give you all the resources we have to support you in getting your answers. Because again, you don't have to be understanding for any of this. What you deserve is to be given the truth and to have clarity so you can get closure.
Yeah.
And if we can be a support system so you can get that, we are here for you. I'm so sorry that this didn't work out the way that we wanted it to. How do you think he'll think about this? What do you think his thoughts will be?
Because I know Marquis, because I know him, it's not gonna change nothing.
Yeah.
He's still gonna be there.
He's still gonna be there, good.
Yeah, I'm still gonna get my calls. I'm still gonna get my texts. It's not gonna change. He's still gonna stop by every time he come in town. It's not gonna change nothing.
Okay, good.
But you deserve your answers.
Yeah.
So if you want more support, we will do everything in our power to find anyone to do anything you need so that you can get the answers you need, all right?
Okay.
Seriously.
And you're a great best friend. You're welcome. Listen everyone, make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing.
I love you all. Can I just let it ring?
It's not gonna change nothing with me and my dad now, so I'm okay. I'm okay with that part. I just wish he would have like asked me where my room was, try to come see me, something before he left. Or even call me before he left. That would've been fine. To even let me know versus on a text message.
