Iclyn confronts her mother about prioritizing boyfriends over her daughters, claiming she had 30 to 40 of them and neglected basic care. Her mother denies the neglect and says she worked multiple jobs to provide. Iclyn has set boundaries and loves her mother from a distance to protect her mental health.
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From your point of view, what's your biggest issue with your mother? 'Cause she's saying she wants to rectify that relationship.
Yeah, I really feel like you don't know how to take accountability. You like to deflect from a lot of situations. And if I could be honest with myself, you've always been promiscuous as well and it's really affected our relationship.
You know?
Yes.
I do take accountability.
You don't.
Yeah, I do. I've been taking accountability and like I told, like I've been telling y'all, I said I do take accountability for any and everything. If you come to me and have a conversation with me, I'll talk to you. But you, Iceland, personally, you do not come to me and talk to me. You'd rather talk to everybody else but me.
Can I tell you why? I was depressed, I was angry, I was mad, but what I did was I started getting counseling. I went to my prayer room and I gave it to God. And I was taught to build boundaries around me. So if I allow you to come into my life and I know how you are, you trigger me. You will make me go crazy all over again. So I've learned to love you from a distance. It ain't nothing that, I don't know, I just have to love you from that way. I love you, Mama, but you don't take accountability.
I do take accountability, Iclyn. Look, I'm trying to talk to you and you still not letting me talk. Iclyn, you not gonna be a bulldog 'cause that's what you are. I'm not. Yes, you are.
Can I ask you a question? You called your mother promiscuous, which is a very strong word. You told my producer that you feel like she's chosen men over you?
Yes.
In what way?
Yes, my mom has had over 40 different boyfriends.
40?
30?
30. 30? You are out your mind. Karamo, let me say this.
Why is the guy talking over her?
That is so rude. Let me say this. I learned a lot of behaviors from my mother. So what I did is I took counseling for myself. Now they keep saying every time I tell them I'm in counseling or I've been getting counseling, they say, well, the counseling ain't doing no good.
I'm not there. I can't see your records to know if you're going to counseling or not. So I can only take a word just like I'm taking your words right now. But I think I need to get back to this because when you say things like my mom's promiscuous, she chooses her boyfriend, when you say a number like 40 boyfriends, it sounds like that was a big point of contention for you.
Yeah, it was.
Did you feel like your mother didn't like you and that she liked men more than she liked you? What's the feeling you had?
I wouldn't necessarily say she didn't like us, but the mother that I've always needed, she was not that mother. I don't like that. It were times where we had no food because she gave 'em to her boyfriend. Are you serious?
It was times—
You a lie. I had to work 2 and 3 jobs to make sure they had a roof, food in the refrigerator, everything. No, y'all need to stop lying.
It was seasons of that.
No, it wasn't no seasons.
For the most part, Mama, you did not feed us unless you had a boyfriend.
You're a lie! Unless there was a man around, she ain't cooking, she ain't cleaning, she ain't doing nothing.
Mama, I don't have to clean or bake a potato in the microwave because of that.
Oh, sweetie, that's because you chose not to come in the kitchen. Because your sister, Amma, she can cook. Elisha, you don't know, you basically don't know how to cook because I did everything for you. With you being the baby, I did everything for you. With you, Icelan, there was food and everything, you chose not to. You was always wanting to be with your friends. At an early age, you sat there and said, as soon as I get grown, I'm moving away from this family.
I wasn't happy at home. I've always been unhappy at home. Home was not a safe place. Why does she keep over talking me? I don't like it. And you asked me a question. You said, this is why I have to love her from a distance. I don't like being interrupted. I like to think that I don't interrupt you when you talk. You're severely aggressive with me and I don't like it.
Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
