My Sister Won't Stop Ruining Our Family 😪 😫 | KARAMO

So tell me what happened between you and your mom last summer. I heard it got physical fight?

Yes, she attempted to put me out. I don't remember why, but we got into it. She's like pulling on my leg, literally humiliating, trying to get me out of her house. I wouldn't leave though, but that still hurt me. I never got my apology for that.

Got it. So do you feel like she still owes you this apology?

Absolutely.

Okay, and why do you feel that way?

'Cause she's my mother. You put your hands on me.

Okay, I can't believe I'm reading this. Your sister threatened to kill you?

Absolutely.

Okay, what happened?

I was pregnant at the time. I came home, I wanted my cornbread. Wasn't there. She was like, "I don't eat cornbread." It came to a big argument. Something was said along the lines of, "I'll kill you." And that's basically all I remember. When me and Valena fight, it's not—

It's never easy.

It's not tiny. When we fight, we fight to kill.

Okay, wow.

I think she hates me for even being alive.

So you think that Belina made stuff up about you, about your childhood, right?

Things that she says, I did not experience at all.

Okay.

I never witnessed my mom doing the things that she says happened. She said something about extension cords and all that. That never happened at all.

Never happened for you?

No, and I never witnessed that happen.

Okay.

That's just what it is. You didn't experience it 'cause here we go, you're the youngest, you're the baby, blah, blah, blah. I was there. Me and Valena grew up like basically twins. We're best friends. So how you gonna tell me I wasn't there? When did this happen?

[Speaker] So how does your family feel about your wife, Shontay?

[Speaker] They think that she controls me.

[Speaker] Do you think Shontay is controlling?

[Speaker] Yes, I do think she's controlling, but I also know that she's changing and she's gonna at least try. She's not for the weak.

That's very interesting language. She's not for the weak.

She is not.

Barbara's wife Shante is in the audience. Shante, you here? Hey, how you doing? Come on, stand up for me. So Shante, describe your relationship with your wife's family.

We don't have a relationship.

And why not?

They're just too toxic.

So what do you think is the root issue with this family?

The drinking, them on pills. So if they stop all that, I feel like they could finally see each other and grow.

Do you feel like your sister and your mother drink and do pills as your wife said?

We all have.

You all have?

Me as well, I'm not gonna lie.

Yeah.

I stopped 'cause I was ready to stop.

Okay. How long have you stopped for?

Do I drink wine?

Congratulations, by the way.

Yes.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How long have you stopped for?

About 7 years.

So Shante, do you feel like they're trying to drag her back into this life?

I feel like they don't want her to grow.

At all?

They don't like me because of what she's become.

Okay. I wanna please welcome Barbara's sister, Valena, to the show. Valena, come on up on in.

How you doing?

Nice to meet you. Lemme give you a hug. Yes, of course.

What's going on?

You're emotional. I see it already. What's happening?

To hear that she was hurt because of what happened about the threat. I didn't threaten her like that. I said, "If you put hands on me, I'm gonna lay hands." You know what I'm saying? Because it was a big argument. They're chasing me. Her and my mother's chasing me.

"Get her, Barbara.

Hit her, Barbara." And I'm like, "No, I'm not." So I'm trying to leave. Next thing you know, I go home. I get a knock on the door. I'm arrested for assault and harassment.

Wow. Okay. And when did this happen? How long ago was this?

It was like 2005 or 2006.

But the pain of that is still lingering with you all.

It's crazy because we never really fought when we was little. We get mad the next day, "Hey, you left your shirt over here, come get it." "Okay, I'm gonna come get it, bitch." You know, that's how it is. We cool. But I can never hate my sister.

But you're okay with not talking to me for a year and I have to go this far though?

All you gotta do is call me. You know how I am, Barbara.

Yeah, and you're also aggressive and you get upset.

I'm not aggressive.

If I talk to you about something, you immediately go into defense like I'm coming for you. I'm never gonna come for you 'cause I'm always gonna be behind you. I got your back. So that's not fair to me.

Okay, well when you say something, it's too late. You held it in too long. I'm already defensive because the way you coming at you, "Hey, you doing this, you doing this." I'm like, why? Why we gotta— Because I remember— You don't have to get like that. You don't have to.

But it builds up from here to here to here. And every time we laugh it off and pretend like it didn't happen, I'm still broken.

Okay, talk to me. You know what I'm saying? Like we've had talks.

Hold on, I wanna go back. So Valena, you didn't go to your sister's wedding. Why?

No.

Why?

Honestly, I didn't even know when it was.

Everybody knew when it was. You didn't go. You didn't wanna go because you don't like Shawntay.

Is that true? You don't like Shawntay?

Okay, let me clear this up.

You told my producer that Shawntay rubbed your shoulders in a romantic way. What did you mean by that?

Oh yeah. I told you this. Remember we was all I was drinking and yeah, once in a while I used to pop pills and she comes from behind the couch and goes like this. And then I looked at her and she's cheesing in my face and I'm like, what?

Let me make sure. You check that around. Let me stop you there.

That is never gonna be attractive to me. I'm not saying it. I just said I got winded by it. Look at my wife. What did you? I don't want you. You don't want me. I know that.

I don't wanna call the next one.

She told you that.

I don't wanna call the next one.

See, I'm about to leave. No, she's being disrespectful and I'm trying to talk to my sister.

I don't want you to leave.

I respect her and that's it.

Barbara, I want to know, do you believe Shante tried to touch you in a romantic way?

No. No, and I don't mean romantic. I just said she did and it felt weird.

That's it. That's fine, but don't try and throw my wife. I'm the most beautiful thing on this planet to her and I know that for a fact.

Sure, I'm out of here.

I can't talk.

No, I want you to talk.

I'm scared.

I want you to talk.

I just said something. I'm not even attacking you. I just said something.

She's cutting me off and I'm trying to talk.

He asked me a question. I'm cutting you off.

I did ask the question. That was on me.

Okay.

So, Valena, do you feel like your mom and sisters gang up on you? 'Cause I'm seeing that you're walking away. So do you feel, why do you feel that way?

I can't answer that. You can't handle the truth. What are you talking about? I'm about to go 'cause you won't leave me alone. This is what I'm talking about, the respect.

Why haven't you spoken to your mom Cheryl in months?

I reached out to her. Matter of fact, I reached out before I went to surgery and she had a surgery the next day. I talked to her the next day and she said, "Ask her friend because she knows how she's feeling." So I stopped reaching out.

Why did that hurt your feelings?

Because I should ask my mother if she should be able to tell me.

Okay.

I've been reaching out for her all my life. I wanted her to love me.

Oh. So even though in that moment you were reaching out to her, it just brought up these feelings of when you reached out as a kid and she wasn't there. It's funny because you say she's disrespectful, you say she's disrespectful, everybody, all of y'all got mouths. All of y'all are stronger. So let's be real. But the thing is, is that this is learned behavior because when we see adults who have attitude now, it's usually out of pain, out of something that's happened in their own life or they've come from households where they've learned this. How was the behavior with your mother when growing up? Did you witness her being more aggressive? Did she have a mouth? Was she abusive?

And it's not like I was sitting there throwing her saying, oh, she beat me with extension cords and belts. Well, she did.

When did that happen though?

You know she did.

No, I don't.

You know she did. Come on, man. That never happened.

That never happened.

Come on, man, she didn't ever beat you.

No.

Why do we get put in foster care then? Why did Karamo tell them that they did?

I have no idea. I've never been hit with an extension cord by anybody.

Why is that on all the records?

On what records? Pull 'em up. Pull 'em up.

See, that's the problem. I'm trying to be honest and speak my truth and you're not listening, man.

'Cause that's not my truth. I do not, there's no extension cords.

Do you feel like Barbara doesn't believe you about your childhood?

Yes.

How does that make you feel?

It hurts me. I just feel like when I reach out to her, it's like if I'm saying something and she feels like I'm saying something disrespectful, whether it's to whatever, to her or somebody else, she gets defensive and I don't want her to be like that. I want her to just express herself.

Because just how you just sat up here and told me, you don't remember that, you don't remember that. If you're gonna come at me aggressive, I'm gonna respond aggressive. You have to accept the fact when I say something. If I do not remember, that is okay.

Okay, well just say you don't remember about you. You're saying it like she don't hit me. You know what I'm saying?

I can't speak for you.

Okay, well that's all I wanted to know. If you're speaking on both of us.

Okay.

You know what I'm saying?

Listen, we're here with Barbara and Belina, sisters who say their relationship is broken because too many lies, physical threats. But I think there's a very important piece of this story and a very important person that needs to get in here and it's the mom. Everyone please welcome Cheryl to my show. There's a lot of pain that's going on here. Between your daughters?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so I gotta ask you, why did you get a restraining order against Bolena?

Well, she was threatening to kill her and they were getting into it and they was, I don't know, she grabbed a knife and said she was gonna stab her.

I never grabbed a knife that day. You didn't grab a knife? I didn't even go in the kitchen.

We were all in the kitchen.

I was in the living room.

No. Okay, so. I don't understand.

What are you talking about? I was putting the baby in a big old Cadillac stroller and I was trying to leave. You kept saying, go get her, Barbara, get her, Barbara. You was chasing me.

Why would she tell her pregnant daughter to go fight you?

Because that's what happened.

That's not, so I'm gonna fight you pregnant. That doesn't even make sense. Get her, Barbara. I'm not a dog. She can't sic me on you.

Okay, see.

Let's bring it down a notch.

That's what she did.

So why do you say you weren't mother of the year? Because you told my producers that, and I thought that was very interesting language for you to say.

Well, because I wasn't the mother I should have been had I known how to be a mother.

Okay.

It just, it was, they have grounds to be a little upset with me, although I've asked for forgiveness over a lot.

I try to forgive you.

Yeah.

Yeah, and—

I gotta give you, I gotta say I appreciate you acknowledging that. Because sometimes I get on the show and a mother will not even acknowledge that they didn't do anything wrong. So one of the things that your daughters are fighting about is like she's saying there was no abuse in the house. She's saying there was. Did you abuse your daughters in that moment when you were in a bad place?

Nobody was ever hit with no extension cords or beat like that. Melina, I don't know where you got that from. I have never hit you or Barbara with an extension cord or anything like that.

You did, you switches.

What the?

You went outside and grabbed a switch. You didn't go outside and keep grabbing switches every time we act up? What do you mean?

Okay, so.

Come on, man. Now I'm delusional.

Now I'm just delusional. No, you're delusional about a stenching board.

I'm telling my truth. I don't know what's happening. I'm gonna let you tell your truth and I'm telling my truth. This is what happened, okay, to me. Okay. And then this is what I feel now. Like I'm getting attacked like, no, she didn't, no, she didn't. Okay, now I'm confused.

I get it, I get it, I hear you, I hear you.

I'm not about this.

See, look, this is it.

What is it?

I'm not attacking nobody. The minute I start to tell my truth, y'all like to step in. Y'all have to understand that you two are the reason why I'm broken.

Tell me how. Tell me how.

Laugh it off, pretend like nothing happened. Then you wanna sit up here and go back and forth. You guys is okay with not talking to me for a long time.

No, it's not.

I was dying.

Ask my wife. But you didn't reach out to me. For what?

So you can do this?

Do what?

Pretend like you develop feelings for me?

How many times have I said if you ever have some problem, talk to me? And you say, no, I'm good, we're good, we're good, we're good. We're good, sister, we're good.

No, and then as soon as you got something to say about my wife, come talk to me, but I'm not messing with your wife.

I never said that.

I'm not choosing between none of this.

I never said that.

Oh my gosh, you never said that?

I don't respect your wife.

That's not—

I don't have to be around her.

Barbara, what do you mean?

See, every time it's about her wife.

Hold on.

Barbara, what do you mean? Every time it's about her.

Your daughter said, She needs a true apology for putting her hands on her.

Well, I apologize, baby.

Now the second thing is that she wants to know, because this is your baby, why did you feel okay with knowing that you can go a year without me?

I would never get me without her for even a second.

But do you feel like she did?

I thought that.

She was just like, I'm done with you because I'm not perfect. So without you guys, I don't have nothing.

And I've never not said you couldn't come through my door ever.

Mom, but why would I wanna come there when there's stipulations and you're like, "Well, this and that and third." There's no stipulations.

During this time period when y'all weren't talking, why didn't you reach out to her?

Because I felt like she didn't wanna hear from me. She said I was toxic.

I did.

Okay.

That hurt.

Yeah. I know, Mom. I could imagine. I could imagine. Can you apologize to your mom for calling her toxic?

I do apologize for calling you toxic.

Can you say to your daughter, "I wanted you back and I missed you during that time"?

Of course, I've always missed her, every day.

Do you feel like you've heard your mom? Do you feel like y'all have healed each other?

Yeah, it's a start.

It's time to bring out Valena. Valena, can you come back out? So now you're back. You heard them talk about acknowledging each other, apologizing. What do you wanna say?

I wanna say from the bottom of my heart, I do apologize to you, to your mother, because you gave birth to me. And I loved you since day one.

How can y'all fix each other then? How can y'all fix this relationship? Can you apologize to her wife?

Oh yes. From the bottom of my heart, I do apologize for anything I've said or done to you or disrespect you in any type of manner. I wanna grow to learn to respect you and your marriage and not say anything that's out of bounds between you guys because she took, you guys chose each other as one for a reason. And I gotta respect that.

Can you accept that?

And I'm sorry.

This is just a step.

And I mean it.

This don't mean it's healed. This is a step.

I really do mean it.

Can you accept this first step?

Yes.

Okay.

And I apologize for whatever I did to your sister, your daughter. I know.

Good job.

First step.

You did the first step.

Thank you.

All of this in here is a first step. I really do honestly see a lot of love in this family. I swear to y'all, does this give you a little bit? I wish I had 5 hours sometimes, girl, 'cause together we would, let me tell you something, we'd have went out, we'd have had a little coffee, it'd have been cute, okay? We'd have figured this all out. But do you have a little bit of something that you feel like you can go home with some tools to be better?

Yeah, I'm just happy to be talking to 'em and see their faces.

Me too.

There we go.

Can y'all give each other a hug? 'Cause I really appreciate y'all. Hold on. Where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.

Period.