My Son Acts Grown, But I Pay All His Bills! | KARAMO

So how would you describe your relationship with your mother?

It's nonexistent. Nonexistent. You know, she goes outta her way to demean me. So I try to keep that away from me, you know? I'm a grown man, so, you know, I gotta take care of myself and I don't need that.

How many years would you feel like she's demeaned you? 'Cause you are 24, so you—

I'm 24. I'll say for the past 10 years.

10 years. So since you got into your teens? You feel like she's been demeaning you?

Yeah.

Okay, got it. And how does your mom control your life, you said?

Well, she goes out, she went outta her way to coerce me to live a path that I was obstinate against.

What was the life that she wanted you to live?

She wanted me to go to college. That was it. Go to college. You can't live. I wanted to work.

Okay, and so why didn't you just drop out and just do what you wanted to do?

Where was I gonna go?

Well, if you're making the decision to live your own life, that's usually where you find out and figure it out. You know, we all been there. Okay. In all sincerity.

That's true, that's true.

So how has your mom betrayed your trust?

A lot of the financial obligations that I've taken on myself, as it is now, things haven't worked out and now I'm left with the things that are in my name that I didn't even wanna take out in the first place.

Okay, so I need some clarification. Are you saying that your mom took out Loans. Loans in your name?

Yeah.

Okay, what type of loans?

Personal and student loans.

Okay, so the student loans your mother took out because she wanted you to go to college and you were like, I don't want that. I understand that. And what are the personal loans she took out?

Car loan.

She took out a car loan?

Yeah.

And was the car for you, for her, for y'all?

It was for me.

It was for you?

It was for me.

Okay.

100%. I didn't want the car.

And how long have you been living alone?

About a year.

Okay then, so we have a message that you said that your mom and you had, and it says, "You may not like what I'm gonna say, but I submitted the application for the loan so that you can get a car. You need to find a place to live." This is what your mother sent you, okay?

100%.

Okay, and what was the response back, or was that anything else?

I said, "Why would you do that knowing my financial situation?" I was already in debt and she decided to do that.

And so you feel like your mom abandoned you? In what ways? Tell me.

You make these obligations and you put it under my name. There's no written contract explicitly saying that she said that she was gonna do this. She's gonna say that there's no legal obligation for me to do it. It's in your name, not mine.

So your mom told you that she was gonna do these loans and pay them?

Oh yeah. Oh, 100%. 100%. There's no doubt about that.

Got it. And those were her words?

I was not going to take out these loans if I didn't have any help in the first place.

And she said, "I will pay them." Yeah. Okay.

Verbatim.

Okay. You told my producer that your mother says hurtful things to you, like what?

Good for nothing, I'm lazy, unmotivated, irresponsible, I'm a waste of her time. Things of that nature. There's nothing positive said about me.

Can I ask the question, why don't you want to go to college?

Well, I wanted to work.

Okay. Work in what field?

I didn't know. So this is the thing. In order for me to go to college, I couldn't go undecided. Her thing was she wanted me to have a major. I didn't know what I wanted to do at all.

Which is normal.

Yeah, you know, that's why I wanted to go undecided. But when she barred me from doing that, then you're basically telling me to pick a major and just peruse my way through these 4 years. College isn't like that, and I learned that my first semester. You know, if you're gonna go there, you're gonna go there with a goal or a mindset.

What you want, yeah, uh-huh. And so. Do you want to mend the relationship with your mom?

I'll say this, I would like her to at least admit that she reneged on a lot of the things that she said.

If she says, I know that I made these choices that I said I would help you, but I can't.

It would bring me closure because now you're admitting that you weren't the person that you've portrayed you were for years and years and years.

Okay. Well, I think it's time to hear your mom's side of the story. So everyone please welcome Sheena to the show so we can hear what she has to say. Hello, Sheena.

Hello.

Thank you for being here.

You are my world.

So how do you feel about what you just heard?

It was not true.

It's not true. Okay.

It's not true.

What parts are not true?

So Justin failed to disclose why he's in the situation that he's in.

Okay, what's the reason?

Okay, so Justin managed to get a job at the facility that I work. The job was one that would lead Justin to a trade. Which was what he said he wanted.

Okay.

It did not pay a lot because it was a low-level position, but it had a path. He lived at home. Justin knows that I always helped him financially and I'm so very disappointed that he sat up here and said that I did not. But in any event, fast forward, forward. We were going to the work one day, so we get into it and I called him probably a loafer or something to that effect. He jumped out the car, threw a cup of hot tea on me, slammed my door. I said nothing.

Justin, is that true?

No.

I turned around and went into the parking lot where my job is located. He proceeded to run back across the street and accost me in the parking lot. So.

Justin, so you're saying that's not true either?

No, no, no, I definitely, I went back, but the foundation of the story that she's setting is blasphemous. So essentially, right, before we even made it to the breakfast spot, she's already getting on me about finances from a job that she said herself doesn't pay well. And I already had that known.

So you're saying that the money that you were getting, you were paying towards the loans?

I was paying towards a lot of things. I'm taking care of myself. She stopped, a lot of the things that she said she was gonna do when I got that job were not revolved around transportation alone. No way, shape, or form.

So you're saying that the money, the reason you had money that morning was because of the fact that you're paying back loans, that she took out for you and you're like, you're frustrated because you're like, you're lying about it.

It's not just that. I mean, regardless of that, I still have to live my life as a young man. I'm not saying that I'm going out doing this, then third partying 24/7, in which I'm not. Majority of the time I get home from work and I'm going out to DoorDash and she's telling me that I'm assing out. You feel me? I'm making money after work.

What really happened when you kicked Jessyn out last year?

So it was that same day.

Where we was.

I had the locks changed on my door when I went home.

She left work early to do this. So she did this behind my back at work too.

But in sincerity, 'cause I hear your side about the money and the things you're saying, like if I ain't got no money 'cause I'm paying for bills on loans that you took out that I didn't want, I understand that. But what I don't understand is why would you be upset that you cost your mother and then she would not want you back in the house?

Because through the majority of the time—

Because if any person gets accosted by somebody, I'm gonna be like, I don't want you in my house.

100%. But this is the thing, you were telling me that I was a loafer before we even got there.

Okay, I'm not gonna argue minutia with you.

No, no, no, it's not minute, but it's a fact. There's a fact.

But I understand, but even if she's calling you names, you accosted her and then she didn't want you in her house.

And that's fine. I'm not mad at her for kicking me out. I have no issue with that. I've been taking care, I'm not asking her to help me with rent. I'm not asking her to help me with any of that. And mind you, you feel me? I'm not asking her to do any of that. What I was asking for was for her to stand on the things that she told me that she was gonna do and that she took out under my name.

Well, we have a video of that interaction. I wanna take a look at it. Can we see the video?

Justin, the police are coming.

You're bugging, I don't care, bro. Open the door. Open the door. I'm trying to get my stuff.

No one is breaking in. And you will get your stuff when I get here.

When I pay to live here.

When they get—

about the police when I pay to live here.

When they come— about police when I pay to live here. When they come— you— no, no, stop.

I'm not hearing that.

Now you're pissing me off. What is your problem?

Wow, wow. Can I say something? I mean, well, she did, one of the things, hold on, my family in the audience here, she did say something that is true. Like, you do leave out details that also lead. Now listen, and I'm not taking any side here because I'm listening and I understand the frustration that you must have if you have, I saw the messages, you're saying, I do not want a loan. You're saying, I do not want debt. And that debt has been put on you and now you have to be responsible for it. So I understand your frustration. But also anger in response.

I don't think that you understand my frustration, and this is why. I've dealt with this. I've dealt with this since before I was an adult. Similar things, I've been talked down to. She's saying that she supports me and that she uplifts me and things of that nature when she never did. So, all right, you're gonna record the absolute me at my absolute wit's end? That's okay, that's fine. I understand that, but I'm not the one recording you when you're at your worst time.

But Justin, I have never—

But you never what?

I have never acted in such a way.

You haven't? You told me that I'm not supposed to be here.

But let me—

You told me I'm not supposed to be here. You forgot that? And that was before then.

Let me say a few things, okay?

You can't go—

Because I need to continue to— I would like to just jump really quickly to this financial piece. Okay, Justin has run up $10,000 in credit cards. Justin did not talk about 7 cars that I bought for him.

Who helped me? 7. Who helped me?

What do you think the root of the problem is?

I honestly do not know what Justin's real problem is. I believe it stems from possibly abandonment and therefore he feels entitled to anything that I have.

I don't.

Does he call you names?

Justin calls me names. Justin has told me shit. I'm not gonna say the— Justin has called me stupid, called me the B word, all of that. And all of that is very hurtful.

I just wanna be clear about all the facts. So you two have had a strained relationship since he was about 16. You feel like things got changed?

No, since 13.

13.

Around teenagers. The option was college or the military.

That's crazy. And I couldn't go to the military?

I am a proponent of higher education.

I got flat feet and 40-degree scoliosis. I'm supposed to go to the military? How does that make sense? You asking me for the impossible off rip.

His brother had the same requirement.

Come on. So, but it sounds like once you said, and he didn't go to college, and he said he wanted to go to trade, what I heard earlier is you said that you then got him that job.

Yes.

That he helped him to get into a trade. So your mother did help you get on a path to get a trade.

I was already working in trade. I was already working on my own. She begged me to take that job after the fact. But I was making more money and I was—

You were riding my health insurance.

Let me finish, let me finish, let me finish, let me finish. I'm still on it.

I'm still on the Dental Invisalign because you wanna keep claiming me on the thing. That's different. That's not different. I don't claim you on anything. I told you to take me off.

I'm tired of it. I've been saying I'm tired.

I told you I was done last year and you brought me on the show. This is insane benefit.

So, Justin, you didn't want to come on this show.

No, no, hold on, hold on.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Justin, let me help you out.

Let me finish. Let me finish.

If you didn't want to be on this show, your brother, it's okay. Let me just talk to your mother. We can have you step backstage. Okay? Okay. Because to real beats, you ain't helped your case not one bit with not one person.

You think so? That's fine. Thank you. That's fine. In all sincerity.

In all sincerity. All sincerity.

Okay.

You sound entitled. You sound like an entitled child. You sound like an entitled child.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Come close, come close. Okay, listen, come close, girl.

Come close, girl. Girl, I think we all, listen, I was tracking this and I was giving you a son. I'm gonna be very honest with you because one thing people know about me when I watch this show 'cause I'm very fair. I'm gonna listen to him, I'm gonna hear his side. And there were some points where I was like, you know what, if he didn't want a loan, you took out a loan, it's one thing. Because now you're putting somebody in debt who's saying, I don't wanna be in debt. But then when we hear context of, before I got a car loan for you, I also gave you all these other cars. Before I told you to go to college, you talking about, well, I can't go do this, I got flat feet, I can't do this. All you had is excuses. So I'm hearing a mother that's frustrated That's like, you gotta do something. Are we all hearing the same thing? And then on top of that, he tells you, well listen, I wanna trade. You like, okay. He's like, I got a trade job already. But then you like, but you ain't got no benefits. And as we know as adults, you gotta have these other things. And then you're getting beat up for trying to continue to give him a path.

And to this day, I still continue.

Girl, stop. Girl, stop. Real talk, stop, right?

Can I just say something?

No, what you need to say, the only thing you need to say is that I am no longer responsible for these children because they are men. That is the only thing you need to say. Seriously, you gotta stop fighting with him about payments and find your own worth, girl, because there ain't nothing with this child. Seriously, seriously, parental guilt is real, but you don't need to have it in this moment. You have done and given to him the support you can. There is no reason, no matter how angry I am, if I'm mad at you, Mom, I'm gonna get to walk away. What I did not see, and I asked them here, I said, did she assault you? And he said no. So breaking down a door, assaulting you in a parking lot, those things aren't warranted.

Absolutely.

So at this time, you got to say enough is enough. And I know you want a relationship with your children, but now is not the time to fight for it. Now is the time to set clear boundaries and for everyone to understand their roles in their own life and to heal separately. And then in some years you come back together. You don't gotta do it right now. You ain't gotta do it right now.

Thank you.

You're welcome. And I hope that advice helps you. All right, friends. Thank you to my, listen, I don't say this enough, but I tell y'all I love y'all because we be on the same page. We be here. I really do love y'all. We be on the same page, OK?