My Toxic Boyfriend Calls Me a Fat B****! | KARAMO

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We listen, we don't judge. I hate that he's very— he's a person that be in his feelings a lot about every little thing.

We listen and we don't judge. I hate that this bitch think she's sweet when it come to me.

We listen, we don't judge. I hate that he just gotta keep calling me a bitch right there 'cause he's annoyed, he's irritated.

We listen and we don't judge. This bitch think I'm gonna smack the shit outta her ass.

Girl, okay. Everyone, please welcome Kahlia to the show so we can hear her side of the story.

How y'all doing?

Girl.

Karamo.

Girl.

Child.

Child, I saw it. Okay, so what's going on in this video?

We was doing a TikTok. We listening to "Don't Judge" and he had an attitude. I can't even remember what the attitude was about because he always have an attitude because he just, I don't know, he's just crazy. And the fact that he was calling me a B word, if the TikTok was keep going, you'll see that I end up fighting him.

'Cause he did threaten you.

Right, he said that I think sweet. Like what you mean I think she's sweet?

Yeah, but then he's like, I'm threatening you, like I'll get her, like I'll hit her.

Yeah. So, and then if the TikTok was keep playing, you'll see that I end up beating him up.

You beat him up?

Yep, I beat him up.

Because he threatened you?

Yeah.

Okay.

'Cause I didn't like how he was doing the TikTok.

Okay, yeah. Was it self-defense?

With me?

Yeah.

Yeah, it was self-defense.

Okay. Do you tolerate him calling you that?

No, I don't. That's why I end up fighting him.

Okay then. And how often does he call you stuff like that?

He often don't call me a B word.

What does he call you then?

He called me Boo or Fat. That's my nickname to him. He called me Fat. That's like a little pet, little nickname that we give each other. But when he get irritated—

Don't none of y'all "aww" on calling Fat. Who said "aww" on that? OK, well, that was a sarcastic "aww." OK, thank you. Because I'm like, hey, nobody— Fat? That's not a name.

Yes. You know how you say Boo and Bang? So we'll call each other like—

Those are names I know.

But you don't know about Fat.

No, we don't know about that. We don't know about that.

Well, yeah, we call each other fat. We call each other fat. But he don't really call me a B word unless he like get irritated. And then I call him that too.

Okay. So how often does he get irritated?

A lot.

A lot.

He get irritated a lot.

So then he calls you a B word a lot?

Not really, not all the time, but sometimes.

Well, you just said he—

He do get irritated a lot though. He do get irritated a lot.

And then when he get irritated, he calls you the B word? Yeah. Okay.

But I get irritated and call him a B word too.

Does your relationship get physical often?

No. Not at all. No, I'm serious. I'm dead serious. We don't be fighting or nothing. We don't be fighting. Now, we'll argue though. We definitely argue, but us putting our hands on each other, no, we don't be putting our hands on each other.

And how often does he argue in front of the children?

We done probably got to arguing probably like once or twice in front of the kids. The kids don't really be around. It's like we passwords and things of that nature. We try not to do that in front of the kids because I have a daughter and a son.

Does he call you the names in front of the kids?

No.

Are you sure about that?

I'm positive.

Because if he's this aggro, 'cause if he, the only reason I don't believe it is because if he'll do it on TikTok where anybody can see. Right. I'm almost sure that any point in your life.

But no, we never got into it in front of the kids and he called me the B word.

Okay. Are the kids in another room?

Yeah.

Okay.

Like most of the time we do passwords. We'll probably be in the room or downstairs in the kitchen like when I'm cooking or something like that.

Got it.

But like the kids, they be all over the house. Don't get me wrong, they be all over the house though.

Yeah, but this is the funny part. I remember when I was younger and my father used to say, used to say inappropriate things to my mother and used to be emotionally abusive and stuff and used to call her out name. We were in the other room and I remember every single thing he said. Because though you think just because they're next door, you're loud and maybe the noise.

A lot of them, they could be able to hear.

They can hear everything. So in essence, y'all do do it in front of the kids.

When you say it like that, yes.

Yeah, I can just tell you just from not only my training but also my personal experiences, one of the kids that's in that room, Hearing my mama be called a word that she doesn't need to be called. How long have y'all been together?

We've been together for a year.

One year?

Yes, we've been together for a year.

One year, okay then. And he accused you of cheating?

Yes, he always accused me of cheating all the time. He thinks that I'm just doing stuff or when people hit me up, I'm engaging into it. Like he thinks I'm a cheater and I don't give him a reason to think that I'm cheating at all.

Tell me when he started wearing Your ex's jacket, my producers told me.

Yes. So look, okay, this is how it went. He was basically like, "Whose coat is that?" I'm like, "This is my ex-boyfriend coat," or whatever like that. So later on that day, I'm not even knowing that he had the coat, we ready to do a YouTube video and he had my ex jacket on. He wore the ex jacket in our YouTube video.

And why would he?

I don't know.

Okay, it could be innocent. Let me ask you this question, 'cause this would tell me something. Has he ever, Worn the clothes and tried to get intimate with you?

He didn't try to get intimate, but he tried to kiss me while he had the jacket on.

So that's intimacy?

Yeah, why would you wanna kiss me while you got another man's jacket on? You know what I'm saying?

Does he track your location?

Karamo.

Girl.

Yes, he tracks my location. We share location 'cause we got iPhones or whatever like that. So we got each other's location, but he be stalking my location. Like we could be out, like how me and you sitting right here talking right now, right? Say if I'm not texting him back or nothing like that, he'll text me like, why you at the Karamo show? Yes, I'm telling you. It's irritating.

So from your opinion, why are you at the Karamo show?

Because I'm tired of him accusing me of cheating. I'm tired of the trust issues. Like I feel like he don't trust me. And I just wanna let him know like if you continue to keep on doing this, then we gonna have to call it over with. Like seriously.

Do you think he's cheating?

Yes.

You do think he's cheating?

I do think he cheating. I feel like he's cheating because he won't let me go through his phone and stuff, but he always wanna go through my phone. And like, say if a person that constantly accusing you of doing something, they gotta be doing something.

Well, when he goes, let me ask you this, 'cause I just, I ask you these questions to get a baseline. When he goes out with friends, does he invite you to go out?

No, he don't invite me. And that's another thing. So he don't invite me to go out with him and his friends. But when it come down to me and my friends, he be wanting to, you know, go party with us. But like every time I ask you to go out with you and your friends, you be on some stuff like, nah boo, you don't gotta go with us. Like every time I try to go out, you wanna come with me and I'm just like, dang, like I don't never go out with you and yours, but you feel like you can go out with me and mine. And I feel like when you going out with you and your friends, your friends trying to get you to go hook up with some girls because you don't want me to be around.

Yeah.

Like.

What do you think he's doing? You think he's cheating on you?

Yes, I think he's cheating. I think when he go outside with his friends, they got home linking up with girls at the bar at the club and they exchanging numbers, probably talking, probably buying them drinks and he don't want me to see it. He don't want me to be a witness to that and I just feel like that's crazy.

Have you ever caught him lying?

Yes, and when I catch him lying, guess what he do?

What?

He scratches his head. He give you like a little scratch on his head.

He like, "I don't know, I don't know." My producer said that somebody thought that he was a homosexual using you for your place. Is that true?

What? Yeah, they did. They said that on Facebook. Like I said, us doing the conversation.

So on Facebook, people think that he's a homosexual using you for a place? Yeah. Okay, and what do you believe?

Don't get me wrong, I feel like he do love me. I just feel like he just think I'm cheating on him. Like, I don't think he use me for my play style.

Okay, and so tell me, why didn't you want to unlock his phone?

You want me to be honest?

Yeah.

Because like, I did not wanna see nothing. I feel I'm a strong believer if like something that happens in the dark gonna come to the light. So I didn't wanna go through his phone and it just break me down. Like I didn't really wanna do that. 'Cause I feel like I don't, I just didn't wanna do that.

I didn't wanna do that. [Speaker:KARAMO] Okay, well I have made a decision here. My producers are gonna hate this, but I don't need to bring this man out. I don't need to see him. We can go ahead and end this show right now because it is clear to me that this man has no respect for you.

He does not love you.

Why my story can't be heard?

I wanna go home. Your story can't be heard because I'm a grown man and I say what I wanna say. What I'm telling you right now, what I'm telling you right now. Why can't I go home? Don't smile at that. Don't smile at that. Because the thing is that, so what happens for me, and this is gonna be very real, what you felt about me hearing the things that went, hey, you quiet down. What you heard about when I told you about my mother relationship, I know how this starts and I know where this ends. I know exactly where this ends. And so this man is calling you names like bitch, he's calling you fat, he is lying to you, he is disrespecting you. And he has gotten to your self-esteem to the point where you giggle it off. And what I wanna do is not pretend and play on this show. Like I told y'all, this show is not for games for me. If people are vulnerable enough to sit here and give me their truth, I wanna give you some truth back and help you.

Yeah.

This man, Karamo is not the man you need.

Yeah, what the fuck? Why the fuck can I not go on the show to tell my side? She got her side out, why the fuck can't I? I mean, most of the shit she was saying weren't true. I couldn't wait to get on the stage and say my fucking side. This is just a lie, I don't know. So I just feel like it isn't fair. She still was holding on to her ex's engagement ring. She still had his clothes. She still goes out and have suspicions of me cheating, but she goes out with her friends, don't come back till 4 o'clock in the morning, 5 o'clock in the morning, and then come home like everything's normal. Fat is her nickname to me. I call her fat, she calls me fat, not literal fat. And bitch, I call her a bitch. I don't know, it's just, she calls me a bitch too. She didn't say that either, but. That's all I got to say. It is what it is. I don't give a fuck.

The fact that you feel like you have to get physical, that you gotta fight, the fact that he is not transparent with you, that you cannot be around him, he has you trapped.

You don't wanna unlock his phone because you don't wanna be broken.

Right, I don't.

Those were your words.

Yeah.

But this the truth, sister. He's already broken you.

That's right.

In one year, a year where you should feel loved, feel supported, feel like we're building something.

You are on my stage.

Yeah, yeah.

Right. Say it again.

Right.

Say it again. Right. You hear them?

I hear them.

No, girl, this is for real.

This is gonna get worse. This is gonna escalate.

Yeah. You already know he's not right for you and you were caught in this toxic cycle.

And the thing is you're laughing it off because that is the way you're trying to protect yourself.

Yeah, my pain. That's how I do that. That's how I started doing content. I ended up going through some stuff and I started doing content. I used my like trauma, my pain and stuff, and I put it into like doing skits and things of that nature.

[Speaker:KARAMO] So yeah, so there's funny there. Now if you want to use content, make content about how I got out of a dysfunctional relationship.

Make content about how I built my self-esteem after a man tried to break it down. Make content about how I said I'm gonna choose me and my kids instead of a man that is disrespecting me, tracking me, constantly putting me under suspicion. Talk about the fact that you are going to grow from this. Because if you get back online and talk about, I'm still with this man who's calling me a bitch, calling me fat, who is tracking me, ain't nobody gonna respect that. And what I don't want is for you to feel disrespected from him and the world and by yourself.

Girl, time to respect yourself.

Yeah.

I'm gonna ask you one question. When did this start? When did this start that you thought that this was behavior that you deserve?

So my mom, she used to have boyfriends and things of that nature and they used to sit right there and I done seen them call her B words. I done seen her be more of the dominant person in the relationship.

Did you like it?

No, I didn't like it, but I'm thinking that's what I saw. So I'm thinking that's how I'm supposed to love. You know what I'm saying? So me seeing that growing up, I think that's what actually taunted me to think like, okay, I can sit right there and I could disrespect the man, let a man disrespect me. He respect me and that's our love language. That's how we cope with each other. That's how I love on, like, you know, that's how I thought it was.

So take me as like your big cousin girl and use that transparency and that vulnerability you just had to understand that that's not the definition of love.

Right.

That is not what love has to be. Love is you sitting next to the man and him telling you how great you are. Him trying to build you up. Him saying what the future is we're gonna have. Him telling you like, sweet things that are gonna make you feel good about yourself. Him saying, "Let's build a family, a life." That is a man that loves you.

You right.

There can be difficult moments in every relationship, but if a man ever feels like disrespecting you, calling you out your name, "It's okay for us to get physical together," that is not a man who loves you. That is a man that wants to keep you down.

You so right. You definitely right. And like I said, I'm not sure why I like stuff like that, but—

You don't like it.

I'm used to it.

We're gonna change the language. You don't like it. Say, "I don't like stuff like that." I don't like stuff like that. You don't.

Keep saying it.

I don't like stuff like that.

But that's the model I saw.

That's the model I saw.

But I can be better.

I can be better. Yeah, I like that. I like that, and I appreciate that.

I wish you the best of luck today.

Thank you.

I really wish you the best of luck. I really wish you the best of luck. Everyone at home, make sure to come back next time, friends, so we keep talking and growing. I love you.