My Trifling Ex Kept Me From My Daughter! | KARAMO

So please take me back.

Okay.

This man who's supposed to be your father ghosted you at 18. What happened?

Yeah. Whew, okay. So basically I found out over social media that he was gonna have some sort of family reunion and my mom, she told me lots about him, but I'd never met him before.

Yeah.

And so there's like supposed to be a rumor of a restraining order that was supposed to be lifelong.

Against your mom and him?

Against me.

Really?

Because he threatened to end me and all my sisters' lives.

Oh really?

Yeah. And so because of that, I waited till I was 18. I thought that maybe the restraining order was done through, and so I was like, okay, I wanna meet him now. And so I got on social media, I found him, and was talking to him and asking him like, oh, like, how can I be involved? How can I, I wanna figure out who I am. I wanna know my background, I wanna know my history, I want identity, I feel lost in the world, you know? And so he said, okay, we have a family reunion, so you should come and I'll meet you there and we'll meet each other for the first time. And so he also had another child and she never met him either. And so I flew out to her house and stayed with a complete stranger so we could both go meet him together and he never showed up.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Wow, wow. Okay, we gotta back up. So was the restraining order true or you still don't know?

It was true.

It was true. So there was still, there was a restraining order against him from being near any of you all.

So then after that, I tried to see him the next year when I turned, I was turning 20. I said, okay, I forgive you for not showing up and setting me up, but I would still like to meet you. And he said, okay, for your birthday, I'll make it up to you, but you fly out to me. So I flew to Minnesota and spent my own dime and I got out there and he was there at the airport to pick us up in his little pimp dad hat and his music was blasting and I don't know, it was interesting, but it didn't feel like me. I didn't feel like I had a connect, like I was related. I just felt like I was meeting a stranger.

So when did you first hear about Michael altogether?

Altogether, I was like 8 or 9 years old and my mom, she expressed to me about this, horrific story of what he did when we were young and all this different kind of stuff and why he wasn't around and why my sisters had their dads and I didn't have. I felt so alone. My sisters' dads were taking them to Six Flags and I would just get left and I didn't have a parent, you know?

Oh yeah, I'm sorry.

'Cause after this one event, my mom wasn't even a parent to me. She was lost. And so it was like me basically raising myself.

You thought he was your dad?

Yeah, that's the only person I ever heard of until December of 2024 and my mom told me, "Oh, there might be somebody else." Well, Ayonna, we have your mother Andrea here, so let's hear what she has to say.

Tell me about your relationship with Michael.

I met Michael when I was Ayonna's age. I was 23 years old and I met him on a chat line. And after I picked him up, he immediately said, "You're beautiful. I want you to be my girlfriend." And I moved him immediately into my home with my oldest child and my middle daughter from a previous marriage. And he, Michael, was a great housekeeper. He didn't have any clothes, and I didn't even think of the fact that he had no clothes.

And this is only how long y'all know each other at that time?

I met him on February 12th, 2001. So the very first day he moved in my house.

Wow, wow.

And he became my boyfriend. We slept together. We had a great relationship. We started working together at the same factory and everything. And then a month later, a lady starts calling my house and she says, "I need to speak to Michael." And I said, "Who is this?" And she said, "I've been with Michael for 13 years and you need to know that." And she said, "I need to speak to him." I said, "You cannot speak to Michael because Michael is my boyfriend now." So every week she just, he kept, she kept calling my house and she kept threatening to come over and beat me up. And I'm like, "Well, go ahead and bring it. If you want to beat me up and you wanna bring it," Bring it, okay?

Your mama ain't about the game.

Bring it.

I wish you would, okay?

Okay.

So she never came to my house. It was about 6 months now that we were together. I found out I was pregnant.

Yeah.

And I said, Michael, I said, it's better to marry than to burn. And he knows that my father's a minister. He knows my background. I told him. And I said, if I sleep with you and I get pregnant by you, We have to get married.

Yeah.

So do you want to marry me? And he said yes.

Yes.

So then the next time she called, it was like 6 and a half months. And I said, girl, we're getting married. And I'm getting ready to have Michael's baby. Do not call here. Because if you come to this house, I'm going to kill you.

Ooh. Yeah.

And she said, you don't know Michael. Did he tell you? Did he tell you? And I said, tell me what? She said, Michael's on crack cocaine. He's a crackhead. I know how to get him back. And she did.

And she did. And she did because of the drugs. Poor thing. So what happened after Ayana was born?

I went into labor at work, but before that, me and Michael were going, it was, I had a brand new car.

Yeah.

And Michael started driving, I let him drive us back back and forth to work. Well, this particular day, Michael, he didn't go into work. He said, "I don't want to go to work." And that was after I had Ayana. It was a month after I had her. He said, "I don't want to go to work." And I said, "Michael, you need to come on. It's time for us to start work. It's 8 o'clock." And he said, I'm not going. I said, what's wrong with you? I said, Michael, we've never had a fight. We've never had an argument. We've always got along. What is going on, baby? What is wrong with you? Why won't you talk to me? And he got really angry. And I got out of the car on the passenger side. I walked over to the driver's side and I said, Michael, get out. And I opened the door, and when I did, he said no, and he was trying to shut it. And I put my foot and my arm in the door. Michael the bed away and almost ran over my foot and my arm just twisted and he just took off down the street. So I ran into the job to my boss. I said, Michael just stole my car. I don't know what's going on. I don't know how I'm gonna get home. So my boss called the police and I filed a police report because he stole my car.

And was that the last time you saw him?

No.

No. Things kind of got more hectic after that. Yeah, 6 months in and it got chaotic. What happened when you got home?

Well, Michael, Karamo, this has ruined my life and I'm still shook up by it. It's like it happened yesterday.

I can see.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of all of this. And when he stole the car from the job, help me, Lord.

I—

my boss took me home that day. And it was nighttime. It was about 10:00 at night. And I went to the daycare provider's house. I didn't know where my car was. I didn't know where Michael was. And when I got to the daycare provider's house, she said, "Andrea, I need you to sit down." And I said, "Why?" I said, where's Ayana? She said, Ayana's in here. She's in the room asleep. But I need for you to sit down. And I said, why? She said, Michael came in and kissed her on the forehead and said, I know this is my daughter. Tell her, her mother, that I love Ayana, but I'm never going to see her again. And I said, was Michael by himself? She said, no, he was in a taxi cab. And he had a lady in the back seat with him. So I walked home with Ayana and with my oldest daughter and with my other baby girl, because it's 3 girls. And when I walked up to the driveway, I seen my car parked perfectly. And I looked inside of it, and my keys were in the ignition. And I took them out, and I said, OK, well, Michael's gone.

Well, let's—

come on, babies. And when I turned the key, I didn't even have to turn the key. When I went to put it in, the whole door just fell down, the whole front door. And I just started screaming. And I was standing in the floor just shaking. And my cat was just running through glass, just running through glass. I couldn't make out what was in the house. I didn't know what it was. All the windows were busted out in the house. All the TV screens were busted out and turned over. There was lipstick on the walls in the living room and all over the house, "I'm going to kill you, bitch. I'm going to kill you." And I was like, "Oh my God, what is going on?" And I looked at the sofa in the living room and it had knives all in it and the cotton was out of the furniture. And I walked in the bedrooms and I looked and the Christmas tree was gone. This was 3 days before Christmas. Michael had stolen the Christmas tree. Stolen all of the baby stuff, all of their presents, and I went to every girl's room, and when I looked in their drawers, all their clothes were cut up. All the clothes were cut up in the closet. All my clothes were cut up in the closet. It was just, it was a disaster. Everything was gone. Everything that I worked for for 3 years to try to build and to leave this for my babies, it was gone.

Did you ever find them?

It was all gone, and Michael was gone, and My daughter, she was 6 years old and she said, "Mama," she said, "Do you want me to call 911?" And I said, "Yes, please call them." When she called 911, 8 police officers pulled up to my house. They started getting everything for evidence and putting it in their trunks of their cars and everything. And the officer looked at me and he said, "I'm sorry, ma'am." He said, "In the 25 years that I've been in the police force," he said, "I've never seen anything like this in my life." this man this dangerous? He said, do you wanna file charges? And I said, I don't know. And he said, it's okay. He said, you don't have to think. He said, because Hennepin County's gonna go ahead and file charges on him and he can never be around you or your children ever again.

That makes sense.

Uh-huh.

So did he ever offer an explanation why he did it, why he abandoned you all? What happened? Ever an explanation?

No. I listened to the answering machine and Michael was on it. He said, "I'm going to kill you, B." And he mentioned every one of my girls by name. "I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her, and I'm gonna kill her. And I'm gonna come back to that house and burn the house down with all of you in it." Oh my gosh.

Why did you wait so long to tell her about the other man?

I slept with somebody 3 weeks before I met Michael. And it was a one-night stand. And you could possibly be his. I did not want to tell her.

Have you seen Michael since all of this has happened? In person?

I moved to Kansas, and when I moved to Kansas, Michael showed up on my front porch after he got out of jail. They locked him up for a long time. They did a manhunt on him. They went and searched with the dogs and everything, and they found him in a basement at somebody's house on his knees with his hands up in the air saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tell her I said I'm sorry." Well, when I got to Kansas and I got my own place, Michael was sitting on my porch when he got released from jail. And he had my income tax check. And Michael's talking crazy. I wanna see my daughter. So somebody happened to call me and nobody ever calls my house. And he let me answer the phone. And I answered and she said, you don't sound right, are you okay? And I said, no. I was doing one-word answers. And she said, do you need me to call 911? I said, yes. I made a break for it. I seen the police down there, police down there, and then Michael ran and they never found him.

Okay, are you okay if we bring him out now?

Yes.

Okay, I just wanna make sure. All right, well, Ayanna, it's time to meet your potential father. So everyone please welcome Michael to the show to hear his side of the story. Michael, come on out.

First of all, we ain't here for you. I'm here to see if this my daughter. You on some fake shit, man. And you're fabricating everything you're saying. I'm here for her.

It's the truth.

All I'm here to get the truth about this child here. Can you scoot down for a minute? Can you scoot down here?

No.

Karamo, I'm gone.

Well, if you're here for your daughter or potential daughter, I want you to come back.

No, I'm not coming back, man.

Fuck y'all.

It's the truth. It's the truth.

I mean, I wasn't there, but we can see a pattern of behavior. I would love for him to come back out.

He can come sit by her. But he threatened to kill her, so he doesn't care anyway. And he's told me on the phone he's sorry. And I said, Michael, I forgive you. So what is this behavior?

What's making you emotional?

The thing is, man, we was good. We never fought, we never argued.

No.

Never. We never did all this, man.

I was going to marry you, Michael.

And I wanted to marry you.

Well, what happened?

But you was on that bitch, right?

What happened?

Oh, you don't sleep around? You wasn't sleeping around? You supposed to be a church woman.

Don't play.

Let me tell you.

Don't play.

Let me tell you this. You a church woman. That's what I liked about you.

I wasn't a church woman when you met me or I would've never slept with you.

Oh, here we go.

From your point of view, 'cause I want to give you a chance to defend yourself. Okay. What happened with the house?

Oh, it got tore up 'cause she was doing stuff.

That's a lie, Michael.

I never did anything to you but buy you clothes and be good to you. Why did you abandon your daughter or your potential daughter?

You gonna go to hell.

I'm not going to hell.

You're gonna go to hell. Yes, you are.

I didn't come to argue with this woman about 23 years ago? Come on now.

Yeah, you wanna know about her.

I wanna know about her.

I hear you.

I wanna know if this is my child. If it's not my child, I'm gonna move on. But you said you gave her name, my name, and that other man's name? You out your fucking mind.

Did you know that?

No, I didn't know that. What woman keeps a child from their man? She's 23 years old. Ask her how many times have I seen her.

But, and again, there's no judgment here. I'm a pretty fair person. If she says that at 23 there was, and you admitted to it, you said you tore up the house, you do understand why someone at that age with their children could feel fearful and say, "Hey, I wanna make sure my kids are safe." Yeah, I understand that. Before you two can find any healing or any answers or any closure, the first step is the DNA truth.

That's right.

Yeah.

That's what I wanna know.

So.

And I promise you.

Yes.

If you're my child, I'm gonna do better by you. I'm gonna come see you. I'll fly there. Whatever you need, I'm there for you. I got you.

Okay.

Well, Ayonna, this is your truth to open, not mine. So here you go.

Come on, you can do this. But I think I'm your dad though. Come on, let's do this. Let's do it together. You all right?

No.

All right, come on.

You're nervous, ain't you?

Come on.

I shouldn't even have to be doing any of this.

What, your mama brought us here, you, whatever.

It doesn't matter.

All right, what you want?

Come on, read that.

I'm not her father.

Thank you, Jesus!

Second time, man.

Thank you! Oh, I'm so happy.

She was a ho.

God, I'm so happy. Now we can find him.

Jesus.

Thank you, God. I'm sorry.

I understand from your trauma why you're saying thank you, God, but this is a hard moment for her because now she's back at square one.

I know who it is now.

You do know who it is?

Yeah.

Ayanna, what's going on in your mind right now?

Thank you, God.

I feel like I lost my whole life and it's because of a complete stranger. It's not even somebody I'm related to. I was putting myself in predicaments trying to be loved and trying to have a father that I didn't need to put myself into. For what? It was a waste.

Your mother says she knows who the other person is. How do you feel about meeting him and going through this process?

I want a father.

You want a father?

I want another parent.

You deserve that. Mom, do you think you owe her an apology for not telling her sooner about the other father?

Yes, I'm sorry, baby. I really thought it was Michael. I did. But you know why I'm glad it's not? No, you're not, because now you have a chance to have a good dad. Yes, you have a chance to have a good dad now.

I mean, any support that we can give you in this moment, I'm glad that you were able to tell your story. I'm glad that you were able to get your answers. So any support you need, we have you here, all right?

All right, thank you.

Yeah, you're very welcome. Everyone at home, thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing.

I love you all.