My Twin Was Murdered; Who Is To Blame? 💔🙏 | KARAMO

The night my sister died, I decided to go to a basketball game. When I went to the basketball game, I went alone, and my sister, I didn't see her 3 weeks before the game. I called Terrianne to the game because I seen a group of females that had jumped me prior.

Got it.

And I felt uncomfortable, I felt unsafe. So I called Terrion to come protect me. And—

And Terrion is your foster brother?

That's correct.

Got it, okay.

And so I never imagined that she would come to that game, but I was thankful that she did come to that game. And when he came, he brought her with him. And I honestly forgot about the group of girls that was there. I ran to my sister, we hugged, we cried. It was like we said our last words from each other. So after that, we kind of got into an altercation with the group of girls that did jump us, and the principals and the security guards just kept on saying, "Y'all have to leave, we have to get out the game." Me and my sister didn't want to do so. Because we haven't seen each other 3 weeks. So we wanted to stay and watch the game, but that didn't happen. When we got escorted out, they escorted both parties outside, and 2 of the girls that was inside that group was out there waiting. And my sister's the one who noticed that she had a gun. She let the security guards know, everyone that was there. She yelled out loud, "She got a gun, she got a gun." She got something? And then 30 seconds later, gunshots.

Yeah. How did that moment impact you for the rest of your life? I can only imagine, but I wanna hear from you.

It changed my life. Honestly, don't know who I am anymore without my twin sister. I don't sleep the same. I can't eat the same. I haven't went back to school. I don't even wanna follow my dreams. I don't even wanna do anything because I planned it all out with this one person that's no longer here to do it with me.

Yeah, I understand. So are you struggling with guilt over that moment?

Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Then I felt like if I would've never went to that basketball game, she would've never ended up there.

Got it, I understand. So are you blaming yourself for your sister's death?

Honestly don't blame nobody but the person who shot her. But at first, I can honestly say that I questioned myself a lot.

That's good. That's good that at least you don't blame yourself. That's good. But you were questioning yourself?

Yes, sir.

Why were you questioning yourself?

'Cause I just didn't think I did everything that I could.

When you wrote to the show, you said that you think Angelique should be taking accountability for her sister's shooting. What did you mean by that?

Okay, let's make no mistakes. She's not responsible. No one sitting here is responsible for Anjanique being, her death. I think responsibility lies solely on the school. When I said accountability, I felt that I was being blamed for a role. And like I said, there's two roles, the role of the shooter and the role of the negligence. But I was being blamed for, being there.

Did you blame him?

No, so, well, I can honestly say if there was blame, it was off of emotions. But to be honest, I personally don't blame anyone but the person who pulled the trigger and shot my twin sister. Yes, we all had different emotions that we was dealing with. Like still to this day, I don't even know how he felt after losing my twin. You know, still to this day, my mother—

Why don't you ask him right now? Let's find out. How did you feel after losing the twin?

That was devastating. I honestly had survivor's guilt. I just felt my time has expired here because everywhere I go there's a memory. You're somewhat responsible for her being there because you arrived with her. Well, if that's the case, in the same breath say that, okay, well I take part because y'all, no one would have been there if I didn't call y'all to come there.

Oh, okay.

That makes sense.

So I'm saying if I'm responsible for being in the same car with her and not letting her go alone, then how about say you're responsible for calling us there because ultimately we would've known.

That part, I wouldn't be accountable because the day that I did call, I called you. You know, I didn't know, but I know we all go together, like, but I didn't know that she was with you.

Yeah, actually, you just said something that I wanted to let you know that I'm actually glad that you're taking time to find the answers because part of what's going on here is that y'all are avoiding these harder topics and y'all not talking about it. So I'm happy that you actually are focused on this and you want to get clarity and you want to get answers because that is where your healing is gonna really start. So you've actually taken a really big step in questioning and facing it. So I'm really proud of you. I wanna let you know I'm really happy that you did that.

I appreciate that. And before you came out, I kind of did admit that I did blame myself once upon a time as well. I know we all, I know we all dealt with different emotions and the way we did handle those emotions it wasn't right, 'cause we did point fingers, if we wanna be honest. Yes, we all did point fingers. But at the end of the day, I did blame myself once upon a time because I knew that I did call you. But I promise, I didn't know she was coming. And if I would've known that, we could've just all stayed at your house, or we could've all just did something else as a family instead of going to that game. You know, we don't even do that. So I feel like we should've all just been like at someone's.

But y'all know, y'all know, the thing that I'm hearing in y'all, which I'm really happy about, is you know it's not You can't blame each other. But the thing is, not only with the blaming each other, you can't blame each other, but you also have to realize that that call is not what set in motion your sister passing. You driving there with her is not what set that motion happening. It's not. It's not at all. And so even though we're like accountability and thinking about those words, even though you're saying, "I don't blame you," there's still this sort of doubt of like, if I would've not called, if I would've not did the game, But that is not what set this in motion. What set this in motion was somebody who decided to grab a gun and they could have had a gun anywhere. So I want y'all to understand that you making a call and saying, come be with me, come be here with me, come support me, let's be at this game, let's drive together, has nothing to do with her death. Nothing at all. And y'all need to hear that and remind each other of that. You know what I'm saying? Can you remind Angelique right now and say, "You calling us had nothing to do with your sister's death." You calling us had nothing to do with Gwen's death.

Do you honestly feel that way?

It's gonna take time, but this is how you practice saying it. Because the thing is, is that you've practiced sort of in your mind right now that that call is what set things in motion. I'm trying to help you to rewrite that narrative in your minds. Can you say to him, "You driving there is not the reason for my sister dying." You driving there was not the reason my sister died that night. Y'all gotta say that to each other more because you're holding onto that and believing that you all set into motion something that you all didn't set into motion. And I know you don't blame each other, but there's still a part of that guilt that's living in each of you. Do you two wanna fix your relationship?

Of course.

You wanna be close again? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I believe you can be. But there's another person here that I think that we wanna talk to, that's important to talk to. I've been talking to Angelique who lost her twin sister to gun violence 4 years ago. Joining us now is the twins' mom. Everyone please welcome Antonique to the show.

Hello, Anthony.

Can I give you a hug? Yes. Thank you for being here. No, you're no worries at all. Take a seat. Would you mind sitting in the middle? So how did you learn about your daughter's death?

A phone call from her sister. She called me and told me that her sister had been shot and they had separated her. She had been missing for 3 weeks, so I was, a stroke when I got the phone call anyway.

And you've been struggling with your own guilt?

Yes.

I'm assuming.

A lot.

Yeah. What is that guilt that you're dealing with?

At first I was blaming myself. I was fighting battles within myself. Like maybe I wasn't a good mom at the time and that I couldn't keep my children safe. I blamed myself a lot. But now that I'm trying to deal with it, there's, I can't blame myself.

I was reading some of the backstory and information on you and it said that you not only lost Angelique's twin, but you also lost another child and you lost their father to gun violence?

Yes.

Okay. So you're coping with a lot of grief.

Yes.

From this. How many years has it been in between those shootings?

So their father I lost in '05. And then I lost the twin in 2019. And then I lost their big brother in 2021.

So why does it feel important for you to deal with your grief in a different way?

Knowing that I know I'm not gonna ever probably be the same, but I wanna be able to function again as a parent for my other two kids that I have left and my grandkids. Really all I do is just sit and squaddle in my own grief.

Yeah.

And I'm kind of like tired of it.

I hear you. You were inspired by Angelique to start going to therapy, I heard.

Yes.

Good job. How was that? Yeah.

It made me wanna take a different step because I seen that if she could come out of it, it's important for me to also do the same.

Yeah. After your daughter's death, you told my producers you were angry with Terrion. Why?

At the time, you know, when I was looking for my daughter, everybody looked at me as if I was crazy when I was saying that she was missing and I just wanted to know where she was.

Got it. So you feel because your daughter was staying with him for 3 weeks, he should've had an obligation to tell you? Is that what you're feeling?

Yes.

Okay.

Maybe it would've eased my, I mean, you know, 'cause like I said, I didn't know where she was. So when I got the call that she was shot, I'm like, well, how did she get there? You know, where did she come from?

Got it. Both of you made a face when she said that. What were you both thinking?

It was no secret where she was to nobody.

I know everything about Angelique, so that just didn't sit right with me. But if I would've known that she was with him, I promise you I wouldn't have been stressing the way I was. I wouldn't have even felt guilty those 3 weeks. Yeah. 'Cause I would've known she was safe.

Uh-huh. Yeah. I do believe that in this moment, though you made the best, decision you were riding for her? Do you feel like maybe now in hindsight, maybe I could have let them know that she was safe? Not where she was or anything else. Do you feel like I could have let them know she was safe?

Let's be clear, that wasn't, that's not my job. And like I said—

I agree, I agree, I agree, I agree. I'm not saying it was. You know what, I think part of the reason I brought that up is because I do want to heal that moment for y'all. And I think this acknowledgement is going to be understanding that that was a decision that your daughter made. She felt safer there for some reason. And it is not a reflection of you as a mother. It's not a reflection of you as a sister. It's just a reflection of where she was at that point. And I think that any questions about why she made that choice. Can I be honest? Yeah, of course. Be honest.

It's not that she wasn't safe. Nothing could have harmed her. It's honestly speaking from my experience, our experience growing up, we wanted to be grown at a young age. There you go. It was rules, strict rules.

Rules.

And that's a place that she didn't want to be. I had to accept and adopt to those strict rules because I knew the consequences. She wasn't willing to do so.

I understand. Do you want to mend the relationship here? Sure. Do you want to get closer? 'Cause how's your relationship?

We bump heads.

You bump heads. Do you want a closer relationship?

I would love a closer relationship with all my family.

Yeah, I know you went to therapy for a little bit. How often do y'all have space to agree?

Not often.

I sometimes just disappear from everyone and isolate myself.

No way, great temporary. Yeah, I think one of the big things that this family has to start doing is having to start grieving together. You have to start talking about it.

And honestly talk about the feelings.

Honestly talk about the feelings that are happening. Mom, what do you need?

I know emotionally I'm just all over the place.

You're exhausted.

I'm like very exhausted.

Yeah, I know. It's similar to what you said earlier. You said, "I don't know who I am." I think you all talking more about how this sort of feeling of being lost, together will allow you all to understand that we can figure out step by step. It's a day by day process. That's what grief is. You feel like you've lost purpose. You feel like you've lost direction, correct?

Correct.

Yeah, but you can find that again.

I would like to say my apologies to my mom and him and kind of have a fresh start.

Tell 'em right now.

Mom, I do wanna apologize to you because you lost two kids now. And I feel like I beat you up so much, or I tried to expect so much more from you. And I can't necessarily, you know, force that. You have to allow that to happen on your own. I respect you as a mother. I appreciate you as a mother. I want you to always know that no matter what anybody else say about you. And for you, Terri-Ann, I want you to know your family and you as well made me feel comfortable. I do apologize if you ever felt like I blamed you for my sister's death. In reality, I do appreciate you and your family for everything that y'all did for us.

Y'all just took, first of all, I applaud you. You are very brave. Very, very brave. And I applaud you 'cause you all just took a very big step there in the direction of healing. I believe if you can continue on this journey of honestly communicating and being there for each other and remembering this is day by day, the healing will start. The hurt will never fully go away, but you'll be better. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.

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